by Phoebe Conn
“Aye, that I have, and it weren’t no small job either,” Randy MacDermott replied. “And what about you? Have you found yourself a bride yet?”
“No, the women here aren’t nearly as pretty as the ones at home.” Raven gave the stocky red-haired mate a playful cuff to the shoulder, and then kept their conversation centered on the shipping trade but he had not forgotten that Alex would soon be calling on Eden, nor how sad that meeting would surely be.
When Alex arrived at Lydia Lawton’s, she and her daughter were out, but recognizing him as a frequent visitor Anna showed him into the parlor and hurried out to the garden to inform Eden that she had a caller.
“Lord Clairbourne is here?” the astonished blonde gasped.
“Yes he is, miss, and he’s asked for you.”
Eden was so unnerved she almost forgot to send Anna for refreshments. She had never expected to see Alex that day. That he had come alone frightened her, for after his first visit Raven had always been with him. She wiped her palms on her billowing skirt and prayed he had not come to tell her goodbye.
When Eden came through the door, delightfully pretty in pale blue, Alex was so enchanted by the shyness of her smile he broke into a wide grin. “It’s such a lovely day,” he began. “Would you show me the gardens?”
For an instant Eden wondered if he were making fun of her desire to visit the terrace at the previous evening’s ball, but the warmth of his smile quickly banished that suspicion. “Yes, of course, the flowers are so lovely I spend my every spare minute there. I believe my aunt has roses of every possible hue.”
Eden took Alex’s arm as they left the house. After a leisurely stroll they made their way to a marble bench shaded by an arched trellis covered with climbing roses. The sweet scent of their bright yellow blooms reminded Alex of the abundance of tropical flowers that perfumed the air on his island home. He was pleased the garden provided a setting as romantic as his mood.
He had rehearsed several versions of his proposal, striving to evoke passion rather than pathos, but Eden’s haunting topaz gaze proved terribly distracting. Memories of Jamaica had brought Raven to mind, and because his hopes for his nephew were a primary concern, Alex decided to begin with him.
“I told you that I had hoped Raven would take a bride on this trip, but I didn’t tell you why.”
“It’s not for the usual reason?” Eden asked, greatly relieved he had not spoken about last night. She was delighted he had chosen to ignore the unfortunate way the evening had ended. Clearly he was as fine a gentleman as she had thought, and if he could pretend the incident had never occurred, she would follow his example.
“The usual reason?”
“Well, yes, to have a woman to love, a woman with whom to have children and share the rest of his life.”
“Yes, for those reasons certainly, but there’s another consideration in his case.”
This time Eden remained silent. Alex was frowning slightly, an expression he seldom wore, and while she was extremely curious, she thought better of interrupting him again.
“You mustn’t tell anyone what I’m about to tell you, Eden, not your aunt, nor Stephanie, nor anyone else.”
“You have my word on it.” The puzzled blonde sat forward slightly, greatly intrigued by the secret he wished to confide. She had never seen him in so serious a mood and could not suppress a small shiver of dread.
Seeing that he had frightened her, Alex took her hand and patted it lightly as he spoke. “The men in my family have all been bright and handsome, but unfortunately none has been blessed with a long life. I am the first to live past the age of thirty-five. That’s why I’m so eager for Raven to take a wife now, so that I can meet her. I’m thirty-eight, Eden, and I haven’t much more time. I may appear strong, but I’m not. At any minute my heart may cease to beat. Quite frankly, I’m always amazed when I awake each morning, for I never really expect to survive the night.”
Alex’s skin glowed with a healthy tan, and his blue eyes were so bright and clear she did not understand how he could possibly be in imminent danger of death. “That can’t possibly be true,” she protested immediately. “It just can’t be.”
Alex placed her fingertips on his wrist. “This should be proof enough for you,” he murmured confidently. “What do you feel?”
At first she felt nothing at all, then finally she did detect a faint pulse but it did not echo her own. Instead, it was an erratic rhythm that caused her eyes to widen in dismay. “Oh Alex”
Alex raised a fingertip to her lips to still whatever burst of sympathy she was about to make. “Yes, I know, it’s a shame but there’s nothing we can do about it. We have a decision to make, Eden, one of the most important of our lives. I’ve enjoyed your company more than I have ever enjoyed any other woman’s, but it wasn’t until last night that I realized it was possible for us to become more than affectionate friends.”
As he grasped both of her hands in his, Eden felt certain Raven had betrayed her confidence. Because Raven had not impressed her as having any tact, she was certain he had done it poorly too. Deeply embarrassed that Alex knew how she felt about him, her cheeks filled with the heat of a bright blush.
While that show of demure innocence was charming, Alex was too anxious to hear her reply to his proposal to waste any more time in getting to it. “I’ve made the mistake of doing the thinking for the both of us, Eden. I thought since I couldn’t offer you a long, as well as a happy life together, I should keep my feelings to myself. But if you love me as dearly as I love you, then we ought to seize whatever time we can have together, without any regard for the precarious state of my health. We ought to live each and every day to the fullest, and never worry about what tomorrow might bring.
“I would be deeply honored if you would become my wife. I know what I’ve said has probably shocked you. If you want some time to consider whether or not you want to marry me, I’ll try and be patient, but I hope you won’t keep me waiting too long. Please believe me, if your answer is no, I’ll understand why and we’ll simply go on as before. I’ll be your escort whenever you need one but you must never tell anyone that I’m not as well as I look. Pity is the last thing I want from anyone, and most especially not from you.”
That Alex had possessed the courage to propose, after giving her a good reason to refuse him, made Eden love him all the more. “No one is guaranteed a long life, Alex. I might be trampled by a team of runaway horses tomorrow, or trip and drown in my bath. I could catch cold and die of pneumonia within a week. Or I might come down with typhoid and die like Queen Victoria’s dear Albert. Just because I’m healthy today doesn’t mean that I’ll be alive tomorrow.”
“Accidents happen, people fall ill,” Alex agreed with a shrug. “I’ll concede that, but my death is inevitable, Eden. You mustn’t delude yourself with false hopes.”
“Everyone’s death is inevitable,” the determined blonde replied.
“What are you saying?” Alex studied her expression closely, hardly daring to hope that she meant what he thought she did. He had never thought any woman would willingly choose to share his life when the end was so near. That a young woman as lovely as Eden would even consider such a grim prospect both thrilled and astonished him.
Eden knew her aunt would have a hysterical fit at the boldness of her response, but that did not prevent her from making it. “I had friends who married young men knowing they might not survive the War. That didn’t concern them. All that mattered was that they would spend whatever time they had together. I know I’m not a proper bride for an earl. I’m only half English, but I love you, Alex, and I’d be proud to be your wife whether it’s for fifty years or only one.”
The sincerity of that heartfelt compliment brought a low moan to Alex’s lips and he nearly crushed Eden with the enthusiasm of his embrace. He kissed her then with all the passion he had thought he would never again express. He kissed her again and again until they were both so breathless he had to draw away.
“
I don’t think we ought to waste any time being engaged,” Eden suggested persuasively. “Do you know an Anglican priest who can perform a wedding ceremony this afternoon?”
Alex could not help but laugh at her enthusiasm for their marriage. “All of London will be talking about us for weeks, if not years to come. You realize that, don’t you?”
“So what? If they have nothing better to do than to gossip about two people who fell in love, then they aren’t worth worrying about.”
“That sounds like something your mother might have told you.”
“No, she never said that, but you’re right, she might have. She married the man she loved regardless of how greatly that decision shocked London society. I hope there’s an opportunity for you to meet him. My father is a wonderful man.”
“I’m sure that he is,” Alex agreed. Seeing Anna coming their way with a tea tray, he sat back to put a more respectable distance between them. “Let’s have tea, then you can pack a few things and we’ll find a priest who has as romantic a nature as we do.”
Eden waited until Anna had returned to the house before she kissed him again. “I love you so much, Alex. You’ll never be sorry you married me. Never.”
“I promise you’ll never be sorry either, Eden. I’ll make our entire marriage a honeymoon.” That he had ever imagined a friendship as warm as theirs could remain a chaste one struck him as absurd now. Still, he could not help but feel a tinge or two of guilt. “I’m being very selfish, but I swear I can’t help myself.”
“Selfish?” Eden shook her head, “You are the warmest, most sympathetic man I’ve ever met. I doubt you are ever selfish.” Not about to allow the man to have second thoughts, Eden rose and, taking his hands, pulled him to his feet. “Come upstairs with me. I’ll need your advice about what to bring.”
“That wouldn’t be at all proper,” Alex protested, but his grin was too wide for Eden to mistake his mood.
“Neither is eloping, m’lord.” With a throaty giggle, Eden led him inside but she took care to walk up the stairs very slowly so as not to tire him.
It was after dark by the time they arrived at Alex’s townhouse. He had had no difficulty arranging for a special marriage license and, with that in hand, had easily persuaded a young priest to perform a marriage ceremony without the required reading of the banns. It had been the most exciting afternoon he had spent in a long while, but he was too happy to allow the resulting fatigue to spoil his wedding night.
He dismissed his servants for the evening immediately after he and his bride had finished the sumptuous supper his cook had gone to great lengths to prepare. He felt slightly tipsy although he had had only one glass of wine.
“I want to take you home to Briarcliff, my estate in Devon. We can spare a month at least before having to make the return voyage to Jamaica. I think it will do Raven good to be on his own for a while. Maybe without my constant urging, he’ll fall in love too.”
Eden laced her fingers in her new husband’s as they started up the stairs. She had expected Alex to send for Raven so he could attend their wedding, but she had been relieved when he had not wanted to wait for the young man to be found. Somehow she did not think Raven would approve of their marriage, and she was grateful to have avoided what could have easily been the most embarrassing of scenes. That she would not have to face him for a month pleased her. Surely that would provide ample time for him to accept his uncle’s marriage.
“Can we leave first thing in the morning?”
Alex rested his hand on the banister, for he could not climb stairs and talk at the same time. “Do you want to stop by and see your aunt and cousin before we go?”
Eden pursed her lips thoughtfully. She had left her aunt a note, even though it seemed a cowardly thing to do. “I’d rather not. I don’t want anyone to spoil our happiness, least of all Lydia and Stephanie. They’re both very fond of you, but I know they’ll take exception to the haste of our marriage.”
Understanding her concern, Alex continued on up the stairs and waited until they had reached the landing to reply. “I wish there had been time for us to plan an enormous formal wedding, a lavish reception, and the most exotic of honeymoons. You’ve given up a great deal to marry me, and I hope you won’t soon regret it.”
Eden wondered if Alex were recalling his first wedding, and his first wife, but dared not ask when she wanted his thoughts focused solely on her that night. “My family and friends are all so far away and I would have missed them terribly had we had a large wedding. If anyone asks why we chose to elope, let’s blame it on the War. We’d be believed, don’t you think?”
“The War? Why yes, of course. That’s positively brilliant, Eden. We chose to elope because your country’s at war.” Alex was pleased beyond measure to have so logical an excuse for a completely illogical elopement. He led her into his bedroom rather than the adjoining one where she had bathed and dressed before supper, and then made what he hoped was not too gruesome a request.
“It’s customary for the husband to visit the wife’s bedroom, but I don’t want to run the risk of dying in your bed.” He paused an instant, half expecting Eden to protest his mention of death as Raven always had, but instead she nodded in agreement.
“I understand. That I will someday be a widow will bring sorrow enough, I don’t want to be the subject of crude jokes about the manner in which you died.”
“Precisely.” Alex pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. “I’ve felt so terribly alone, and to find that you understand my concerns so readily is a great comfort to me.”
Eden relaxed against him, grateful that they could now display their affection for each other openly, but she was as deeply concerned about her new husband’s health as he was. “Alex, if making love will be too strenuous for you, if you truly do fear dying in my arms, we could simply sleep together and be close in ways other than the merely physical.”
Alex stepped back so he could study her expression, but he had a difficult time containing the amusement her question had prompted. “Life is filled with difficult choices, Eden. Somehow I think you’re already aware of that. If I stayed in bed, alone, and did nothing more strenuous than sip soup and tea, I could probably prolong my life. But what kind of life is that to live? I would rather be a real husband to you for six months, than no more than an affectionate friend for a year. Isn’t your choice the same? Wouldn’t you advise me to live whatever time I have left as fully as I possibly can?”
Eden replied not with words, but with a kiss so filled with love he could not mistake her answer. She was a vibrant beauty, and it was that very quality that had attracted him to her in the first place. She was as eager to live life fully as he was, and while their time together would be heartbreakingly brief, he planned to make certain she did not regret a second of it. He trailed sweet kisses down her throat and across the luscious swell of her bosom, peeling away her white satin gown with the expertise of a man well schooled in the art of seduction. He knew he would have to rely upon finesse rather than stamina, but vowed not to disappoint her.
Eden had never expected to marry that day, but fortunately her mother had long ago provided her with all the information any bride would need. She knew exactly what would happen, but she also knew there was far more to making love than the act that would make her Alex’s wife. It was instantly plain from his adoring kiss and tender caress that he knew it too. He was no ardent boy intent upon sating his own lusts with her body. He was a lover of extraordinary insight and skill and she loved him all the more for it.
When a few minutes later Eden found herself lying nude across his bed, she could not recall precisely how he had managed to remove all her apparel without her assistance, but she thought him extremely clever for doing so. When he reached toward the lamp at the bedside, she objected. It was already turned down low, and she thought the soft light provided precisely the romantic glow a wedding night required. “Leave the lamp as it is,” she requested in a seductive whisper.
&nbs
p; Alex considered Eden’s beauty of the most exquisite sort, and had no objection to feasting his eyes upon her all night, but he had thought she would prefer to have the room dark. “You are not embarrassed?”
His bed had already been turned down in preparation for the night, and Eden raised the corner of the sheet to demurely cover her breasts. “I didn’t realize I should be.”
“I didn’t mean of your own body, but of seeing mine.”
Eden took a deep breath before assuring him that was not the case. “You’re a very handsome man, Alex, lean and fit. Why wouldn’t I find you attractive?”
Alex had already slipped off his coat and waistcoat and sat down on the side of the bed as he began to unbutton his shirt. “Men’s bodies are very different from women’s. I know some brides find that discovery frightening.”
“I’ve seen nude men. The sight doesn’t disgust me.”
Alex’s mouth fell agape, for it had never occurred to him she might not be a virgin. Not that it mattered to him when he loved her so dearly, but it was a shock just the same. Unable to think of any way to reply to such a startling confession, he concentrated on unbuttoning his shirt, but fumbled so badly with the buttons he made very slow progress.
“Alex?” When he failed to immediately look up, Eden began to giggle. “I’m not in the habit of cavorting with nude men. Is that the way that sounded? I worked tending the wounded before my parents sent me here to London. That was the primary reason they insisted I leave Richmond. They felt I had seen too much bloodshed for one so young. The boys who were dying were no older, though, so I thought their decision was very unfair. Had I been their son, they would have let me fight, but they didn’t want their daughter touched by the horror of the War.”
Alex was ashamed for doubting her virtue for even a moment but thought better of admitting that aloud. “That’s ironic, isn’t it? That your parents sent you away to escape the horror of death when all they succeeded in doing was—”
