“Yes, but I want new photos. Only of Todd Hamilton,” she yells over her shoulder. “Find me Victor’s last invoice.”
“Thanks, Bet—”
Her door slams shut.
I pull out my phone and search for my group text between Tatiana and Todd. They should both know at the same time.
Me: I got a show. Two weeks.
I tap my shoe, waiting for those three dots, and then Tati’s response comes up first.
Tatiana: Woohoo! Congratulations! I’m taking you to lunch today.
Then, it’s like a bombardment of texts.
Todd: Me, too. I’ll beat Tatiana there. I get the first hug.
Tatiana: Screw you. I’m leaving now.
Todd: I’m already on my way.
Tatiana: I’m on Wells.
Me: Guys, I have to work. Dinner at the apartment tonight. I have to get more pictures of Todd. You up for it?
Todd: You can have me whenever you want me.
My stomach flutters.
Tatiana: So unfair. I can’t offer Lia my naked body.
Todd: See? I’m the better friend. I’ll even let you touch if you want, Noodle.
Tatiana: Seriously, just screw each other, please.
No one responds for a few seconds, and I’m too busy trying to gain my composure after the touch comment.
Tatiana: Ha-ha! I’ve stunned you both to silence. I am the queen.
Tatiana: Hello?
Todd: Gotta go. See you all tonight. Congratulations.
Me: Thank you, guys.
Tatiana: How did this convo get so polite?
I click on a private text to Tatiana.
Me: Nice, Tati.
Tatiana: What? If you weren’t convinced before, you should be now. The boy wants you.
Me: I don’t know.
Tatiana: Yes, you do.
Me: Tati, what am I supposed to do?
Tatiana: Follow your heart.
I don’t respond to her. I can’t. I’m still grasping on to this different Todd who keeps emerging ever since Davis left town.
Shit. Davis.
I haven’t told him.
I flick to my calendar on my phone and see the heart in that box on that Friday.
His premiere. My plane ticket. Crap.
Not wanting to mention the conflicting date to him just yet, I place my phone down to think.
“Amelia!” Bette’s voice comes over the speakerphone.
I quickly press the Talk button. “Yes?”
“Come in here to discuss exactly what I want.”
My nerves spin out of control. I grab my notebook and pen, leaving my phone on the desk.
* * *
I insert my key into the lock, and the scent of garlic floats out of my apartment. Tatiana and Todd are dancing around the kitchen and singing.
The music is too loud for them to hear me enter, so I stay against the door, watching them laughing and goofing off. Without them, I’m not sure where I’d be. They believe in me more than I do.
Tatiana spots me first. “She’s here!” She runs into me with such force that I stumble back. “I’m so happy for you.” She holds me tight and jumps up and down.
Todd’s arms wrap around both of us, and he kisses my temple. “Congratulations. You deserve this and more,” he whispers.
My shoulders fall while I’m in the arms of my two friends. “Thank you, guys.”
They grip me tighter.
“I made your favorite tonight.” Todd disappears back to the kitchen.
I follow. “With Tatiana’s help?” I cock my eyebrow.
“She’s good for those menial tasks.”
Tatiana pushes his arm and he fake-stumbles backward, laughing the entire time.
I hop up onto a barstool at our kitchen counter. Todd poises a spoon right at the tip of my lips. I slurp the garlic sauce into my mouth and can’t help but notice Todd’s eyes on me. His intense stare confuses me, but I crave more of it.
His eyes dart to my cleavage as I’m leaned across the counter, and then he looks back to my eyes. Last, they fixate on my tongue as I lick the sauce from my lips. My breathing stutters, and I slowly back up from his closeness.
My phone chirps, and I jump in my seat. Todd’s eyes glance at it, and a sour look crosses his face. He ventures back to the stove, and I grab my phone.
Davis.
I haven’t talked to him since he left. He must be crazy busy.
“Hello?” I practically whisper from the guilt. Sometimes I feel because Davis and Todd’s relationship is so strained, I’m somehow wronging the other.
“Hey, beautiful.” Davis’s sweet voice fills my phone.
Instead of the calmness that usually overcomes my body, I’m on high alert.
“Hold on, okay?” I hold my phone to my stomach. “I’ll be right back,” I say. I turn around before having to see Todd’s face.
Neither Todd nor Tatiana makes a crude joke or even acknowledges that Davis is calling me. Both of their actions speak volumes about what has changed in only three days since Davis has been gone.
I shut my bedroom door and sit on the bed. “How’s LA?”
“It’s great, but they’ve had me running everywhere. I’m sorry I haven’t called.” He sounds sympathetic about not being able to talk at all lately.
I shouldn’t doubt him just from what Heather told me.
“It’s okay. I missed you.” I lie down, throwing my free arm over my eyes.
“Why the past tense? Do you not still miss me?”
“Oh, no! I still—”
“Relax, Amelia. I was just kidding.”
I suck in a deep breath.
“I miss you, too.”
“Still a month?”
“Unfortunately, yes, but only two weeks until the premiere.”
“Oh, shit, Davis.” I jolt up in bed, and suddenly, those nerves overtake me again.
“What? Are you okay, Lia?” His voice is frantic.
I realize I just scared him for no reason. “Yeah. Oh, I’m fine, but I have some bad news.” My teeth nibble on my bottom lip. “Bette gave me my own show.”
“What’s bad about that? Congratulations.”
“It’s the same weekend as the premiere.”
“Oh.” His voice lowers, and guilt racks me. “That’s the only date she can give you?”
“It was from a cancellation by another artist. That’s the only reason I got it. I’m sorry, Davis. I’ll reimburse you for the ticket,” I ramble, with the hope that my excuse is enough to throw away the cost of the first-class plane ticket to LA he already purchased for me.
“Oh.” It’s a simple word that speaks more.
“I’m truly sorry, Davis, but this is it for me. I’ve worked hard, and I’ve been waiting for this day. I hope you understand I cannot pass this up.”
Fear sets inside of me as I think this is it for us. He’ll give me an ultimatum, but I’m through with pushing my needs aside to please a man.
“Amelia, what do you take me for? A jerk who wouldn’t be happy for you?” His voice is even-keeled.
That scares me more than if he were yelling obscenities into the phone.
“No.” I release a breath into the receiver. “I’m just sorry. I feel bad.”
“It’s only a few hundred dollars for the airline ticket. I have been looking forward to it, but I understand.”
I finally relax, happy he isn’t giving me an ultimatum. “Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
The receiver muffles, and I hear him saying something.
“I have to get going. It’s time to judge my contestants’ foods. Hopefully, I won’t end up in the emergency room.” He laughs, and the carefree, relaxing tone reflects back.
“I’ll cross my fingers. I’m at the hands of Todd for my celebratory dinner tonight.”
“Todd’s there?”
“Yeah.”
“Man, Lia, I wish I were there to cook you dinner for your celebrat
ion. This distance thing sucks.”
“I know. It’s a month, right?” I allow the negative thoughts that a month is too long to enter my brain.
After such a short time, my feelings for Todd are resurfacing at a pace I’m not comfortable with, a pace that can surely finish Davis and me before we truly ever started.
“Yeah. Okay, I have to go. I’ll call you in a few days.”
“A few days?” The question leaves my mouth before I realize I’ve spoken it out loud. The last thing I want to be is a needy girlfriend.
“My schedule is insane. I’ll try sooner, but I don’t want to promise anything I can’t keep.”
“Okay. Miss you.”
“Miss you. Bye.”
“Bye,” I murmur to a dial tone.
I fall into my plush mattress in complete distress of what my life is turning into. I need to focus on my career and not worry about two guys who might just toss me aside for their own careers.
* * *
The next day, I’m happily sitting at my desk before Bette arrives for the day. I came in a whole half an hour early to complete the piles of work so I can get some pictures of Todd tonight. Coincidentally, we both have the night off from CHOPs, and I need to get these done.
I want to talk to Bette about stepping outside of my box and have a few of Todd by the lake, but I’m not sure how she’ll respond to it. Her friend was in yesterday afternoon, raving about the nude photographer she saw in Chicago. Bette showed her my work, and she hemmed and hawed about my pictures. I thought for sure Bette was going to cut my show from this lady’s opinion. Then, she saw one of Todd with his hands against the wall. His back is flexed, and the light shows the tension rolling off his skin. She said she was buying that one, hands down. Bette told her she’d better be willing to pay because it was going to be the showcase of the event.
“Amelia!” Bette calls out as she enters.
I stand from the authority in her voice.
“Good morning, Bette. I brought you a coffee.”
“We need to talk. You do realize how blessed you are that I’m giving you this show, don’t you?”
“Of course.”
Her heels click across the floor at a fast pace, and as I follow, I watch the small hole in her coffee lid, making sure the brown liquid doesn’t spill over.
“Then, why is your boyfriend calling me, asking for a different date?” She retreats into her office.
I stop in my tracks.
She glances back. “Don’t act like you don’t know exactly what he did. Like Davis Morgan is going to run my business.”
I recover fast and step into her modern office without a speck of dust. “I swear, Bette, I had no idea he was going to do that. I told him last night. He had given me a ticket to see a premiere with him in LA that same weekend.”
“Would you rather go to that?” She holds up the mirror to her face and puts on her red lipstick, puckering her lips.
“No!” I screech.
She pins her eyes directly on me.
“Bette, I’m grateful for this opportunity, and I’m not about to ruin my chances.” I panic, and right about now, I’m so spitting mad at Davis that I’d haul off and hit him, if he were in front of me.
“Good, because I have the morning show for the local station coming in for a segment on you.” She smiles.
Although it goes against everything I believe in, I want to fall to my knees and endlessly thank her.
“Thank you, Bette. That’s amazing.”
“Don’t thank me yet. There’s a catch.”
“Anything.”
“Todd has to be with you. I only want pictures of him, naked, to be on display.” She clasps her hands in front of her.
I guess my whole plan on having Todd dressed in a few would be a no-go, especially after the stunt Davis pulled.
“I’ll call him right now. Actually, is there any way I can get off a little early today? I’m working on Hender’s showcase invoice right now.”
“Is this for more pictures?”
“Yes. Todd and I both have the afternoon off.”
“Of course. Bring me what you have. I have sole decision-making on what will be hanging for the show, Amelia.”
“Of course, Bette. Thank you again.”
“You’re welcome. You know me. I like to help the starving artists. Please tell your boyfriend that I run Art on Wells, and I don’t care who he is.”
“I promise. I’ll call him now.”
“After Todd, I presume.”
“Yes. Todd first.” The irony of those words leaving my mouth makes my heart rate speed up because, lately, he’s been first.
Me: Hey. Can you come on Friday morning to Art on Wells for some publicity? The local morning show will be here.
Todd: Of course. Just let me know whatever you need. I’ll always be here for you.
Me: Thank you. Friday morning, and do your push-ups, big boy. Those Facebook likes will go through the roof.
Todd: The ladies love my pics, but I fear that if you’re with me, they’ll figure out they can’t have me.
Me: Funny. See you at one.
Todd: Meet you at the park.
Me: :)
After I get Todd handled, I call Davis. What he did completely overstepped any bounds. Like usual, I get his voicemail. Just hearing his voice aggravates me.
“Hey, Davis. It’s Lia. Um . . . Bette just came in. Er . . . give me a call, okay?”
Weak, Lia.
I should have been meaner. I should have gotten to the point and shown him that I don’t appreciate him nosing his way into my business.
I flip through the book of CDs containing all my pictures. There’s a picture of Todd etched in my memory from four months ago. I search out the approximate time I remember snapping the photo and insert the CD into my laptop. I grab a Diet Coke from the fridge and begin sorting through two thousand photos. I forgot how much I’ve photographed Todd over the past few months.
That day, Tati was gone, and our apartment was quiet. I was fumbling through every step, having to fix the lighting the whole time. I felt like it was my first shoot, and my hands trembled so badly. My camera wasn’t properly in focus.
Then, in one moment, everything came together, as though someone else were controlling my hands and vision. Todd sat in the middle of my floor, staring off into space, with a gray backdrop. I snapped the shot and instantly knew how profound the picture would become, even if it were only me who saw the handsome man looking lost but found all at the same time. As though he were in a world of chaos, but he was calm, like he had found exactly what he’d wanted.
I come across the sequence that’s been jogging my memory. Double-clicking on the picture, it pops up across my screen, and I’m not sure why I never noticed it before. Todd isn’t looking into space. His head is turned in the opposite direction of the camera, but he’s staring at the camera from the corner of his eyes.
How did I miss this?
His eyes are clear, bearing truth, as though he’s attempting to tell the camera his secret. My mouth drops open with the realization that it’s not the camera he’s staring at. It’s me.
My stomach flutters the more I intently dig into every aspect of the picture. The thought that Todd has been yearning for me all these months brings an excitement to me I didn’t know existed for him until recently.
My phone rings, disturbing me from my thoughts, and I jump in my seat. As my phone vibrates along the table, I struggle to get a good grip on the small black metal.
“Hello?”
“Hey, beautiful. I saw you called. I just got out of the shower.”
I’m so consumed with staring at the picture of Todd that I almost forget why I called Davis in the first place.
“Davis.” I sigh.
“I know. I’m sorry.” He sounds genuine.
I’m confused as to why he did it. “Bette isn’t happy, and she said she almost pulled me.”
“She wouldn’t do that, Lia. It was
selfish of me, and I am sorry. Just know I did it because I want to see you. I hate that I’m stuck here for a month.”
I smile from the sound of sincerity and caring pouring out of him. Too much has been coming to the surface since he left.
“Davis, we need to talk.”
“I said I was sorry. Do you not forgive me?”
“I understand you wanting to see me, but I’ve worked my ass off to get this showcase. I’m hurt that you tried to change the date. A movie premiere that you have a cameo in isn’t more important than my show.”
The whole talk-off-your-chest feels good. I never did it with Cam until the day I broke up with him.
“I really didn’t mean it like that. Lia, I know you’re talented enough to get a show again. That’s why I thought I’d ask.”
“It wasn’t your decision to make.” My blood boils. I refuse to let another man control me.
“I know. I’m really sorry. I felt like an ass as soon as Bette told me off.”
“You should have.”
“I said I did.” Even over the phone, I hear him speaking through clenched teeth. “What do you want from me?”
“What about Heather? There are rumors going around CHOPs.” I might as well go all the way. Let’s air this shit out.
“I hate fucking rumors.” A loud crash echoes through my phone. “Are you asking me if I fucked her?” His voice escalates.
I pull my phone away from my ear. My eyes stare at the Don’t disturb the art plaque right in front of my desk as I wish I could go off on him right now.
“I know you fucked her. I’m just wondering why you lied to me,” I seethe, looking toward Bette’s office doors to double-check that she can’t hear me. In all honesty, I’m assuming he fucked her.
“It was a drunken night a year ago. It meant nothing to me.”
“It obviously meant something to her. She was upset that we were dating.”
Him not caring about a woman he slept with scares me. How invested is he really with me? How quickly will I be forgotten?
“Were?”
“Were what?”
“You said we were dating. Are we not anymore?”
“It was a slip, but after this exchange, I’m wondering if we should be done.”
“Listen, Lia, I like you, and I don’t think I’ve given you any reason not to believe me.”
“Except for lying about sleeping with Heather and calling my boss to pull some strings you feel entitled to.”
Seeing You Page 17
