by A. M. Wray
Only a few moments passed before I felt the bed shifting under his weight. He was toward the head of the bed, out of my eyesight.
“No worries,” he said. “I’m still fully clothed. That’s how I’ll say. Okay?”
I nodded. I liked that he was going out of his way to make me comfortable with… whatever that was he was doing.
The bed shifted again and the weight was closer to my torso. Then I felt him straddle me. I felt warm hands first on my shoulders. They were slick with oil. A loud moan involuntarily escaped with his first squeeze. It was then that I discovered his plan. Sweet, sweet massage. Yes.
The oil very quickly revealed itself to be of the self-heating variety. The kind that warms as you rub it in. The combo between his amazing hands and that magical oil was something dreams were made of. It was perfection.
“Does this feel okay? he asked.
My only response was a loud moan as his hands gripped my shoulders again, his thumbs pressing directly into the tense spots just behind my shoulder.
“I’ll take that to be a firm, ‘yes’.”
I only nodded, moaning mmhmm.
Alex’s movements were slow and steady. His hands were strong and meticulous. There was no talking as he massaged his way down my back, paying close attention to the areas that felt the tensest. He worked his way around my back, down my sides, and then down each arm. No rushing. No places missed.
Just as he finished the top of my hips, he leaned over me, his body hovering above mine, but keeping enough distance that we didn’t touch. His lips found the sensitive juncture where my neck and shoulder meet as he placed a kiss there. It was more than the sweet kisses that he usually places on my forehead. This one lingered, the heat of his mouth meeting my skin. My body immediately shivered in response. With my legs parted in the way that they were, nothing covering the most intimate place on my body, that kiss felt even more potent.
“I’m moving down to your feet, beautiful. Is that okay? Do you want more? On your back, I mean.”
Yes. Yes, I want more. So much more.
“I’m just fine, thank you. It feels… I really have no words.” And I didn’t. I was so relaxed. The exhaustion was taking a deep hold, but I still found the desire for him.
Alex continued to work, his strong hands never feeling weak as he gripped and pressed against every sore spot on my sensitive feet.
I gasped as he leaned forward and kissed the back of my thigh, mere inches below the curvature of my backside. That small, simple action made my body tense and pain grow deep within me.
He sat between my legs on his knees, his hands moving in circular motions from my inner thighs to the outside. As he made his way up my thighs, his thumbs repeatedly grazed the place I hungered for him most. He knew what he was doing. He knew it was driving me insane, but I couldn’t say anything. He said no sex and I still hadn’t made up my mind, though I was about to break.
His thumbs brushed me again and I moaned as my hips involuntarily lifted. I felt embarrassed, but also very brave at that moment.
HMM, he moaned.
His hands gripped my backside, massaging and moving slow. My breaths were coming heavier, my heart pounding in my chest. I felt myself grinding against nothing as the pain grew. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than for him to touch me.
Please, I thought to myself. Please.
Alex’s fingers slipped between my legs, earning another gasp from me. I was caught between need and a disbelief that it was happening at all. After all the time we'd spent together, I couldn’t fathom us moving onto this stage. We were best friends. I was very serious about my no dating rule. Sure, it had occurred to me to have a beneficial friend, but I never in a thousand years thought it would be Alex. Right then… I was incredibly grateful that it was.
I cried out as he moved his fingers inside of me, his body once again leaning over me and his lips pressing against my ear. He kissed the sensitive spot before pulling the lobe into his mouth and sucking gently.
“Is this what you wanted?” he whispered.
“Yes!” I said, my voice rushed as I gasped for air.
He said nothing else, only gave a low moan in response to my excitement. Over and over he kissed my face, neck and shoulders as he moved. When I found release, very shortly after, he began kissing my back as he gently rubbed my hips to calm me.
“Ready for bed?” he asked.
I nodded, incapable of much else.
“Good girl. Go ahead and flip over on your back and come up to the head of the bed. Close your eyes and I’ll rub you down until you fall asleep.”
“What about you?” I asked, barely able to keep my eyes open at that point.
“I told you… This was all about you. Now, be a good girl and do as I asked. Lie back and relax. You spent a very hard day taking care of everyone else. It’s time to let someone else take care of you, now.”
I did as I was asked, turning around and lying down at the head of the bed. My eyes closed as I felt him run his hand across my stomach. I couldn’t remember a time when I felt so calm and relaxed. Alex was amazing. I’d never thought of him in that way, let alone imagined what he would be like. He was both attentive and dominant. It was the sexiest thing I’d ever experienced.
I needed to talk to my other best friend. I needed Elizabeth. I needed to find out what I should do. I didn’t want to hurt him if things went badly, but my God… the sex would be amazing. Without a doubt, I knew my mind was made up. I knew what I wanted, but I still needed the advice from someone on the outside. I needed to know if I should move forward. If we should be more than just friends.
Chapter Five
The next morning, I woke up alone. No Alex. No massage oil left out. No dirty dishes. No mess. It was like I’d dreamed the entire thing. Had I? Hmm… I rolled over to check my phone and found a blinking blue light. There was a message from Alex.
Have a wonderful day tomorrow! Thank you for relaxing and allowing me to give you a night you deserved. I cleaned up and let myself out. I figured you’d freak out if I was still there this morning. Rule #1 in friends with benefits: no sleeping over. Text me if you get bored. Bye!
Hmm… That was my second hmm of the day and I’d only been awake for approximately five minutes. I read the text a total of three times before staring off, debating on how to respond. He was right. That was certainly the biggest rule, and I would have found it to be rather intrusive for him to sleep over. Not because I didn’t appreciate the dreamy night that we shared, and I use dreamy in the literal sense, given that I wondered if it had been an exhaustion fueled fantasy. No, it was because that was a bit too much closeness for my liking.
It was a little strange and pathetic to me that I was so worried about a man staying over. More than that, I found my emotions even more irrational when I took into account that the man in question knew me well enough to know the truth of my apprehension. I sat up, holding my phone in both hands. Taking a deep breath, I went ahead to respond.
Thanks for last night. I really appreciate it. I’d almost forgotten how much I actually enjoyed physical attention. Seems like only my drunk-self remembers. I’m sorry that I’m so messed up. Don’t say that I’m not. Haha. I know that I am, but it means a lot to me that you’re patient and understanding with it. You did everything right, including giving me the space that I need. I have to get ready for work, so I’ll talk to you later.
I sent it. Alex was such a great guy, but I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about it. There was just too much there. If Alex didn’t have feelings for me, then I wouldn’t care. But, I didn’t want to lose my friend if something bad happened. I needed advice. I couldn’t go at something like that alone.
“Hey!” Elizabeth said as she answered the phone. “How are you?”
I had no idea how to answer that. “I’m good,” I said. I could hear the hesitation in my own voice. I knew that she would, so I moved on quickly before I lost my nerve. “I have something that I need to talk t
o you about.”
“Oh? Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Uh… Debatable. Well, yes. Yes, everything is okay. I’m just very confused. I don’t know how to handle something that’s happened. You know how I am with men and all that.”
“Yeah. You don’t. That’s how.” She laughed at her comment.
She wasn’t wrong, exactly.
“It’s Alex,” I blurted out.
I wish that I could describe and put into words the sound, the shrieking, that came from the other end of the phone, but it’s impossible.
“Tell me everything. Tell it to me. Tell it to me, now!” she said. I could hear the incessant smile in her voice. She was far too excited for my liking. “What happened? Come on!”
I rolled my eyes. It was at that moment that I understood why she always rolled her eyes at me. Damn it. She’d always been right. I was super frickin’ annoying. She was taking everything I’d given her about Jax and throwing it right back at me. I don’t think she did it on purpose, but I could honestly say that her absentminded punishment right then was more than enough to make me want to never act like that again. Duly noted.
Once she was done shrieking and acting like me, I told her about how we’d hung out and that I’d gotten drunk. I told her all about how the topic of friends with benefits came about, and that he came over last night to… pamper me. On his own accord, of course. When I’d asked him to come over, I didn’t mean for it to turn sexual. I didn’t not mean for it to either… Maybe I did mean for it to. I didn’t know.
“This is the best thing ever!” Elizabeth shrieked. “I can’t believe this!”
“You can’t tell Jax,” I pleaded. “I know that you think this is great, but these boys are different. They aren’t normal men. Alex, though… There’s something a bit darker in him than Jax, I think. Still, I’m worried about hurting him. You know I’m incapable of anything relationship.”
“Relationshipy?” she asked. “Look, you need to stop this mess. Just be honest with him. As long as you are honest, make sure to keep an open line of communication between the two of you, and don’t purposely do anything shady, which is not in your nature, then you’ll be just fine. Honey, you worry far too much. I’ve been telling you this for a long time. I just didn’t understand it until everything happened with Kevin. Oh, crap.”
“What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?”
There was shuffling on the other side of the call before a masculine voice spoke.
“Hey, Andi,” Jax said.
Oh, crap. I then understood why Liz had said something.
I laughed nervously. “H-hey, Jax. How’s it going?”
“Good, actually,” he started. “Don’t be mad at Elizabeth. I was working on something in the other room, and I overheard the conversation.”
“I see,” I said. “Well, let’s have it, then.”
“The fact that you’re worried about Alex tells me that you do care about him. That means that everything will be just fine. He has feelings for you. He has for a while now. He’s also a man that hasn’t been in a relationship in a long time, as you are a beautiful young woman that hasn’t been in a relationship in a long time. Neither one of you want anything serious –”
“That’s a lie, Jax. I know that if I told that man that I wanted a real relationship with him, he would jump. Not because I’m the most amazing woman in the world, but because he’s hinted around at it for so long,” I said.
He laughed. He was always so happy. I had no idea how he maintained that level of excitement about life.
“You didn’t let me finish, my dear. I was actually getting to that point. Neither one of you want anything serious. If he can’t have you in a traditional relationship, he wants nothing with anyone. He also has trust issues, but that’s one of the big reasons why he trusts you, the mutual respect. That doesn’t mean that he isn’t capable of having a sexual relationship with someone. I’m not trying to be a wingman for my brother just to get him laid. I think you know me, and him, well enough to know that we aren’t like that. It’s painfully obvious, however, that you want to do this. If you didn’t, then you wouldn’t have called Elizabeth and asked for advice. A solid no is a solid no. You want this. He clearly does, too. You’re both consenting adults. Like Elizabeth said, stay honest and everything will be okay. Hell, tell him that it’s trial-based only. Give it a time frame. If it’s going badly then cut it off. He will understand. Alex isn’t the delicate flower you’d like to think. A man can be sensitive in nature and sensitive to a woman and her needs without being a total vagina, for a lack of better words.”
Everything that he said made perfect sense. It was his brother. Of course, he’d know Alex better than anyone else. They were twins. I sighed.
“I’ll lay down some ground rules. That way, I’ll know we are on the same page,” I said.
We finished chatting a bit about the situation before I happily changed subjects over to baby Hunter. He was the cutest little thing I’d ever seen. I couldn’t wait to see him again. I hadn’t seen him since he was a month old. It wasn’t long after that they moved up north to be with Desiree, Aiden, and their growing baby bundle. All the baby talk and hearing baby Hunter cooing over the call made my biological clock tick louder and louder. One of my ovaries nearly exploded every time I heard him laugh.
She asked about the dresses, and I told her they were coming along pretty good so far. I needed to work faster, but I still had a good start. They would absolutely be done on time, but I wanted to get them done way early. Just in case. There was a lot more bead and crystal work than anticipated once we got planning.
“Okay,” I said out loud to no one but myself, prepping to stand and get ready for work.
As I moved, I realized that my body ached a lot, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Alex had done a wonderful job. After giving my body a good stretch, I headed into the shower, completely having forgotten to grab a towel. Oh, well. Benefits of living alone.
Once I’d finished, I headed out to the local bakery and grabbed a box of various kinds of donuts for the girls in my unit. If I knew my patient was non-diabetic and on normal foods, I’d sometimes slip them to the ones that were extra sweet to me or my girls. No reason to be even more miserable.
The girls were excited to see me, no doubt having seen the box in hand as soon as I stepped off the elevator. Suck ups. That’s okay. I’d pledge my undying love for anyone bringing donuts to me, too.
“Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” Jessica asked.
She was on my floor that day. Third floor and ICU were together. I would be floating between the two. Jessica was the charge nurse on three. I’d be checking on her, but I’d spend most of my time in ICU, as usual. I was glad that she was there. It gave me the opportunity to thank her for all her help the day before. I was feeling quite refreshed after the night before. It only further pushed me to think that having fun with Alex was a wonderful idea.
“Nope, you sure haven’t, but you’re certainly one of mine. Thank you so much for everything you did yesterday. I couldn’t have done it without you,” I said.
Jessica smiled, the gesture clearly meaning something to her. “No problem. It was kind of awesome watching you work. I know you had some trouble because of Little Andi, but you did great. If it weren’t for you, she wouldn’t have made it. In fact, I decided that I’m going to go back to school.”
“Really?” I asked, my eyes wide. “Jessica! That’s amazing!”
Her excitement grew tenfold as soon as she saw mine. I sat the donuts down on the desk and gave her a hug.
“That is wonderful! I’m so proud of you. You’ll do great,” I said.
Soon after checking in for report with the nurse that I was replacing, I made my rounds to meet my patients. Most of them were children that I’d met the day before. Only three were adults, including the unfortunate soul that had caused the accident. I was happy to see even more goodies in his room. It made me happy
that he was being taken care of.
That day, I was very happy to be in ICU. I got to sit with Little Andi. Her father called me Old Andi when I walked in the room, and I knew one of the other nurses had ratted me out. I laughed. I didn’t mind. I told them all to call me that since she picked it out for me. I didn’t mind at all!
Several times throughout the day, when I had some down time, I texted Alex. I decided to get a feel for where his head was. It seemed like he still felt the same. It was very impressive how casual he was being. Very impressive, indeed. At lunch, he called me.
“What’s up, buttercup?” he asked.
I laughed. “You’re a dork. I just got sat down in my car. I’ve been snacking at the station, so I’m not really hungry.”
“Sounds good. Let’s you hear my sultry voice,” he said.
I rolled my eyes, a smile on my lips. “Again… dork. Anyway – I think we should talk about last night.”
“Oh, no,” he said. “You’re not going and getting clingy already, are you? Man… What a shame.”
“I don’t think you’re capable of taking anything seriously,” I said. “I was actually going to say that I think we should do it.”
He started to say something smart again, but stopped, like my words actually hit him.
“Really?” he asked. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m excited as hell. I just didn’t think you’d give in. Last night was me just wanting to help you relax. I know how hard it was with that little girl.”
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see it. “I didn’t think you’d be able to do it. Keep a distance. I’m actually very impressed. You’ve not been weird about it at all. I’d forgotten just how much of a stress reliever good sex could be, and we didn’t even have sex.”
“If I did that with my hands, imagine what I can do with everything else,” he said. I could hear the smile in his voice.
“You are so full of yourself,” I said, poking at him. “I have a few rules.”
“Oh, by all means. Tell me.”
