Also, the second I let him into my pants, I’ll inevitably let him back into my heart. With RJ, there isn’t one without the other.
I tune back in to their one-sided conversation. “You know what, little man? I think I’m making some progress with Mommy.”
Kody babbles and smacks the water, splashing him in the face.
“I know. It’s only been a couple of weeks, and I have a lot of work to do still . . . but dude, I gotta tell you, your mom’s a MILF—and if you ever tell her I said that, I’ll straight-up deny it. But God, she’s beautiful.”
Kody shrieks and kicks at the water.
“You’re handsome, no doubt about that, little man. Can I tell you something important?” Kody giggles when RJ tickles the bottoms of his feet. RJ smiles, then turns serious. “I think if it wasn’t for you, your mom wouldn’t be giving me a second chance. So thank you. I love you, buddy, and I’m hoping I get to say that to you every day for the rest of my life. Even when you’re a teenager and it embarrasses the shit out of you.”
My heart squeezes as I take in this giant of a man telling his son he loves him.
“You know who would have loved to meet you and your mom?”
Kody babbles, as if he’s answering his dad’s question.
“Your grandpa Steven James, my dad. You and me both have his dimple.” RJ touches his cheek and leans in to kiss Kody. “God, I miss him. He was such an awesome dad. We had the farm, and he was always so busy, but he still managed to make time to come to all my hockey games. I really don’t know how he did it. Farms are hell to run. Long hours, hard work, but he did it with a smile and cheered me on. I wish he was still here.” RJ squeezes shampoo into his palm and starts washing Kody’s hair.
“Your grandpa worried about me a lot. I’ll be honest, little man, I didn’t always make the best choices, especially when I first made the NHL—and I’m going to try my best to help you make better ones than I did. But your mom was definitely the best thing that ever happened to me, and so are you, and I think your grandpa would’ve loved you both so much, just like I do.”
CHAPTER 22
CAN YOU HANDLE IT?
Rook
Hours at the gym have become an absolute necessity these days, because otherwise, I have no way of exorcising the pent-up, restless energy that comes from being around a gorgeous, sexy woman who is also the mother of my child. Lainey is effortlessly beautiful, and she’s an incredible, patient mother—which wouldn’t have been a turn-on less than a month ago.
To be fair, I’ve seen a lot of boob recently. Seen but haven’t been able to touch. It’s an odd kind of torture. There’s been a lot of hugs and kisses on the cheek and flirty touches, but I don’t want to push too far too fast.
Then there was last night. Kody has been fussy the past few days because he’s teething, and Lainey was wiped from lack of sleep. I offered to stay over and take the middle-of-the-night feeding so Lainey could get more than a couple hours in a row. I was prepared to spend the night on the couch, and in hindsight that likely would have been a hell of a lot smarter.
She lay down with Kody on her chest, and I waited until they both fell asleep before I transferred him back to his crib. I figured it would only be a couple hours before he woke for a feeding, and her bed is so much more comfortable than the couch, so I stretched out beside her.
The middle-of-the-night feeding never came, though, so I didn’t relocate to the couch. Instead I woke up spooning Lainey, with my morning wood pressing into her back and one hand very close to cupping her boob. Thankfully it didn’t make things too awkward, which I’m taking as a good sign.
Regardless, the mounting sexual tension is the reason I’m on set number six of chest presses.
“What rock have you been hidin’ under the past couple o’ weeks? The only time I see you is practice or workouts.” Lance is my spotter.
“I’m a little busy these days,” I grunt through the eighth rep.
“When you gonna stop hiding yer tour guide?”
“I’m not hiding Lainey—I just don’t want to subject her to my shitstorm. And we’re kind of figuring out how we work together. The last time we went out, I got mobbed, and it freaked her out.”
“She can’t get used to it without exposure.” Lance racks the bar for me. “You can’t hide her from the world, and it doesn’t do her any good if you’re trying to protect her from the media. Rip the bandage off, Rook. Bring her to a practice—and when she’s ready, bring her and Kody to a game so she can meet the wives. She needs to know she’s not alone. Your team is your family.”
“She hates big crowds.”
“The boxes are safe. And Poppy and Sunny are like the Zen team—they’ll make her feel right at home.” He slaps me on the shoulder. “I’m hitting the sauna, and you should too, if you don’t want to be crying like yer baby later.”
He has a point. I’ve asked Lainey if she wants to come to practice pretty much every time we have one. And it would be great if she could attend before an actual game when it’s total mayhem. I decide I’ll bring it up again tonight, once Kody is in bed.
I fire off a message to see if Lainey wants to have lunch. Most of the time I’ll pick something up and bring it to the aquarium, but today I’m thinking we could try a café. Baby steps and all.
I don’t hear from her before I reach the aquarium, but that’s not all that surprising. She doesn’t respond to messages when she’s leading a tour or with the animals. I find out from Eden that she left work about an hour ago and that she was feverish, with the chills, feeling nauseous.
I try calling her again, but there’s still no response. “What about Kody?” I ask Eden.
“He’s still at day care, as far as I know. At least I hope he is. I don’t think Lainey’s in any state to take care of him right now. She really didn’t look good when she left.”
“I’m going to check on her. See what she needs.” I’m halfway across the lobby when I realize I don’t have a key, and if she’s not answering her phone, I can’t be sure she’s going to answer her door either.
I turn to find Eden dangling a key chain from her finger.
“Can I borrow those?”
“No. I thought I’d taunt you with them.” She shows me which one gets me into the building and the one for Lainey’s apartment.
I rush across the street and take the elevator to her floor. I knock first, so I don’t scare the crap out of her, but when she doesn’t answer after about thirty seconds, I use the key to let myself in. “Lainey?” I call out as I close the door and lock it behind me.
I slip the keys into my pocket; anxiety makes my heart beat faster as I walk down the hall. I peek in Kody’s room but keep going when I see it’s empty. I pass the open, unoccupied bathroom and head for Lainey’s bedroom. The comforter is turned down; there’s a bowl on the floor and a half-full glass of water on the nightstand.
“Lainey? You here?”
“RJ?” It’s more of a croak than my name, and it’s coming from the bathroom.
“Eden said you weren’t feeling well.”
“I’m okay. Just give me a minute.” That declaration is followed by a horrible retching sound, a splash, and the flush of the toilet.
I find her hugging the bowl, her cheek resting on the edge. She’s wearing a loose nightshirt, legs bare and mostly exposed. Her hair hangs in a haphazard braid down her back, flyaways poking out, strands stuck to her neck and forehead. Her normally tanned skin is pasty white, and a fine sheen of sweat covers her face and neck despite the fact that she’s covered in goose bumps.
“You don’t look okay.”
Her eyes are glassy and slow to track. “You shouldn’t see me like this. I look awful.”
I ignore her as I crouch down, and she tries to wave me away. I press the back of my hand to her forehead, then lean in and follow with my lips, like I remember my mom used to do.
She makes a little noise, sort of like a hum combined with a groan.
“You
’re burning up. Do you have a thermometer around here?”
“There’s one in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom across from Kody’s room, but I’m fine. It’s just a bug. I need to sleep for a few hours.”
“I don’t know that sleeping wrapped around a toilet is a great option, Lainey.”
“The bath mat is pretty soft.” She shivers and looks over her shoulder at the floor.
“Let me help you back into the bed.”
“I can’t yet. The nausea is ge—” Her face pales further, eyes going wide, and then she pulls herself up, arms shaking, fingertips going white as she clutches the seat and heaves violently. She tries to tell me to leave, but she can barely get words out before she heaves again; this time nothing comes up. She flushes the toilet, but spasms continue to rack her for a good two minutes until she finally sags again, cheek resting on the seat.
I grab a washcloth and wet it so I can clean her up. She’s so weak and spent that she doesn’t put up a fight. “How many times has that happened?”
“I don’t know. It comes in these awful waves. I’ve been in here since I came home, and that was before lunchtime.”
“I’m going to get the thermometer so I can check your temperature and get you a glass of water so the dry heaves aren’t as painful.” I smooth her hair away from her forehead. “I’ll be right back.”
I fill a glass with water first, then search the bathroom for the thermometer. By the time I get back she’s dry heaving again. Once she’s done with that round I take her temperature, which is over 103 degrees. It’s another hour before she finally stops heaving. She’s pale and sweaty and exhausted. I pick her up off the floor and carry her back to bed.
Lainey struggles to sit up, shivering, eyes bloodshot and glassy with fever. “I need to get dressed and pick Kody up from day care.”
“You’re not going anywhere. I’ll pick up Kody—you lie here and get some rest.”
“But I—”
“Lainey.” I put a gentle hand on her shoulder to keep her from sitting up. “You need to let me help you. You don’t want to risk Kody catching what you have.”
Lainey’s eyes flare. “Oh God, I didn’t think of that.”
“I’m here, and I want to be involved. Let me show you I can do this with you.”
She settles back on her pillows with a groan, teeth still chattering even though she has ten blankets piled on top of her.
“Do you want me to get you something warmer to wear?”
She pulls the covers up to her chin. “N-no. I’ll get the s-sweats, and then I’ll have to t-take it off anyway. I’ll s-stop s-shivering eventually.”
There’s no way I’m leaving her here alone when her teeth are chattering like she’s in a freezer. I round the other side of the bed and strip off my shirt.
“What’re you d-doing?” Lainey asks.
“I’m gonna make you warm.” I fold back the covers and slide under them.
“B-but I’ll make you sick.”
“I’ll be fine unless you try to make out with me.” I scoop her up and settle her in my lap, wrapping my arms around her.
She’s too tired to resist or even consider fighting me on it, so she snuggles right in, tucking her frozen feet between my thighs. Her clammy forehead rests against the side of my neck, and she settles her palms against my chest. “You’re s-so warm.”
“Big teddy bear, remember?”
“Mmm. I remember.”
Her hair tickles my arm, and I run my hand gently up and down her leg, waiting for the shivers to subside.
She keeps shifting in my lap, and despite that fact that she’s sick as a dog, my body starts to react inconveniently to her proximity, the feel of her hands on my chest, and the inadvertent friction.
“RJ?”
“Yeah, baby?”
“Is your phone in your pocket?”
“No. Why? You need me to call someone?”
She wriggles around some more in my lap. “No, but there’s something hard—oh.” She lifts her head, bloodshot eyes meeting mine. She covers her mouth with her palm, and for a moment I worry she’s going to be sick again, until she asks, “Are you . . . do you have a hard-on?”
I don’t bother fighting my grin as I lift a shoulder and let it fall. “You’re doing a lot of moving around. Some parts of my body are inconsiderate and don’t really care that you’re sick.”
“I look like hell, and I probably smell terrible.” She drops her hand, giving me a quick glimpse of her smile before she snuggles back into me. Eventually the shivering subsides and her breathing evens out. Once I’m sure she’s asleep, I move her off my lap and cover her in blankets.
I make sure she has everything she needs before I put my shirt back on.
I wash my hands in the bathroom down the hall, making a mental note to call Lainey’s housekeeper so she can come in and disinfect. The last thing any of us needs is for this to be passed along.
I grab Lainey’s keys so I can return Eden’s to her, then rush back to pick up Kody. I’m grateful Lainey had me added to her very short list of approved adults who can pick him up. Currently it’s Lainey herself, Eden, and me. I’m happy to note Walter has never been given that privilege.
“Lainey working late tonight?” Kristen, one of the day care providers, asks as she leads me over to where Kody and the other infants sit in their activity centers, playing with the light-up buttons or squeezy, crinkly things. One of the other staff is sitting cross-legged on the floor, keeping them entertained.
“She’s not feeling well, so I thought it would be a good idea for me to come pick up Kody. How’s he been today?”
“He’s been great—slept well this afternoon, and he’s really loving the cereal Lainey’s been sending with him. There’s a flu bug going around, so we’ve been watching all the kids closely and, of course, making sure everyone is washing their hands.”
“I don’t think working at an aquarium with thousands of people going through on a daily basis helps much with the germ exposure.” I crouch down so I’m at Kody’s level. “How’s my little man?” I lean in and give him a kiss on the forehead, checking to make sure he’s not hot too. He smiles and makes a happy sound, holding out his arms like he’s asking to be picked up. I lift him out of the activity center, and Kristen helps me gather his things. I didn’t think to bring the stroller with me, which Lainey usually does, so it’s a bit of a juggling act, but I manage to shoulder the bags and keep my hold on Kody with a little assistance.
We head back up to Lainey’s apartment, the elevator half-full with people returning home from work.
“Mommy’s not feeling all that hot, buddy, so we’re going to take care of her, and you and me are going to have a boys’ night. Sound good?” He squawks at me, like he’s in agreement with this plan, so I keep talking. “We can watch some hockey, and I’ll even let you drink all the mommy milk you want, as long as you don’t rat me out.” Kody makes more baby sounds at me and reaches up to smack uncoordinatedly at my face. “You high-fivin’ me?”
The elevator dings and I glance up, checking to see if it’s my stop, which is when I notice that every woman on the elevator is staring at me. Thankfully, it’s my floor, so I excuse myself, and they all clamber to either move out of the way or hold the door open, since I’m laden down with baby things and a baby.
“I think my ovaries just exploded,” says one woman as the doors start to shut.
“He’s like the poster boy for DILFs,” says another one.
I don’t get to hear any more commentary, because the doors slide closed. I have to set all the bags down and root around in my pocket to find the keys.
The door across the hall opens, and Walter appears. I’m loath to admit it, but he’s not a bad-looking guy. Lean, almost wiry build, still has all of his hair—but there’s a hint of recession flirting at the temples, which means in about ten years he’ll have a horseshoe. Solidly average, maybe, but that doesn’t make up for the fact that he’s an asshole. “Yo
u look like you’re struggling.”
“I got it,” I mutter, finally snagging the keys.
“Just so you know, I’ll be right here, waiting for the day when all the fun of playing house wears off and you abandon Lainey again.”
I glance over my shoulder and find him leaning against the doorjamb, arms crossed over his chest. He’s got balls, I’ll give him that. “Look, I know my showing up threw a wrench in your plans, Walt, and I appreciate the fact that you were here to help Lainey when she needed it, but you should probably move on. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’ll believe that when you’re still here six months from now. You’re on the road all the time, aren’t you? Professional hockey player and all that. Must be hard on relationships, being away that much. Lainey’s bound to need some help when you’re not around, and me being right across the hall makes it easy for me to step in.” He smiles wryly. “Have a good night, RJ.” He turns his attention to Kody and gives him a little tickle under the chin, his tough-guy facade turning into wistful sadness. “Be good for your mom.”
He disappears back into his apartment, and for a few seconds I feel bad for him. He was here when I wasn’t. He wanted Lainey despite the fact that she came with a brand-new baby that wasn’t his. He knows how special she is. But he’s wrong about being around to help out, because as soon as she’s ready, I’ll be moving them into my house, so Walter will effectively be removed from any and all equations.
I might feel bad for him, but I sure as hell don’t want him as my competition.
I put Kody in his activity center in the living room before I grab the fifty million bags Lainey sends with him to day care. I drop them all on the couch, lock the door, pick Kody back up, and head down the hall to check on Lainey.
I peek in the room and find her sleeping, which is good. She obviously needs some rest. I mentally scroll through the list of things Lainey typically does when she gets home from work. Usually she feeds Kody right away, and considering how he’s bumping his nose on my shoulder, I have a feeling he’s not going to be quiet about how hungry he is soon. And there’s no way I’m going to wake Lainey up to take care of him right now.
A Lie for a Lie Page 19
