“Taking a nap. The flu took a lot out of her.”
He nods and looks around the room. “This is, uh . . . an expensive-looking room for an infant.”
Kody keeps crying—not loudly, but still squawking all the same. I want to take him, but I don’t want to deprive his grandfather of the opportunity to soothe him either. It’s definitely not an easy situation to navigate. “Maybe we should take Kody downstairs. I don’t want to disturb Lainey.”
Simon follows me to the main floor. I’m not 100 percent on what all of Kody’s different cries mean, like Lainey seems to be, but I can tell by the way he’s bopping his face on Simon’s shoulder that he’s probably hungry. I root around in the baby bag until I find one of the bottles packed in the separate cooler space and put the spare in the fridge.
Simon frowns. “I thought Lainey was breastfeeding.”
“She is, but she pumps so he can have bottles when he’s at his day care. It also means I can be involved in feeding him and she can have a break when she needs it.”
I offer him the bottle, but he shakes his head. “I never really got the hang of that.”
“Doesn’t hurt to give it a shot, though, does it?”
After a short stare down, he allows me to show him how to hold Kody so he can feed him. I’m a little annoyed when he takes the bottle without a problem, mostly because I want an opportunity to show Simon I’m good for more than just my bank account and my sperm donation.
“I can’t believe Lainey’s already working again. She should be raising Kody, not some day care provider.” He adjusts his hold on Kody and shoots me a pointed glare.
I maintain eye contact, aware that looking away would be like backing down with a bear. “She likes her job.” At least that’s the impression I’ve gotten from her. I don’t see why she’d move across the country and take a position like this if she didn’t want to. Or maybe she felt it was the only option.
“If she came back to Washington, she could just stay at home and she’d have our help. She wouldn’t need to work.” He scans the living room, eyes bouncing over the expensive electronics, the leather furniture, and the hockey-themed art before they settle on me again, cold and accusatory. “I did a little research on you, son—you’re making more than enough to support them both, so the question is, why aren’t you?”
I knew this conversation was imminent, and I tried to prepare myself for it, but I’m not sure I quite understood the wrath of an angry father until now. “We’re just getting reacquainted, and if I know anything about your daughter, it’s that she’s not very fond of feeling like she’s being taken care of or like she’s being forced into situations that are out of her control. So I’m doing everything I can, and everything she’ll allow, to involve myself in raising Kody.” I fight to keep my hands at my sides and not give away my nervousness by jamming them into my pockets.
Simon doesn’t respond right away—processing, digesting, maybe trying to decide how sincere I’m being. “What are your intentions with my daughter?”
I have to give it to him. He’s meeting me head-on, like any protective father would. I’m having second thoughts about the whole “Lainey staying in my bedroom with me” thing while Simon is in the house. He’s a dairy farmer. He’s had to put animals down, which means he knows how to use a gun. Not a comforting thought, really. “Well, sir, I plan to take care of Lainey and Kody in whatever capacity she’ll allow me to. I’ve already missed Lainey’s entire pregnancy and the first few months of Kody’s life—I don’t want to miss out on any more time with them.”
He arches one unimpressed eyebrow. “You’re still going to miss a lot of time, though, with how much you have to travel. Your career isn’t very conducive for family life.”
“I have plenty of teammates who are happily married with families.”
He frowns, eyes narrowed and still fixed on me. “Is that part of your plan? To marry my daughter?”
I feel a lot like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff, waiting to be pushed over the edge. I swallow down the horrible anxiety. “If I’m going to be one hundred percent honest with you, then yes, eventually, with your permission I’d like to ask Lainey to marry me, if we get to a place where that’s something she wants.”
“And if she doesn’t get to a place like that, then what?”
I don’t like these questions, because they bring up fears that already plague me. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking.”
“What if Lainey finds someone else? What if she wants to move back to Washington and she meets someone better for her? How will you handle that?”
I blow out a breath and rub the back of my neck, my stomach twisting at just the mention of this—or the idea that there’s someone better for her than me. “Honestly? I’ll be devastated. Sir, I fell in love with your daughter, and I’ve spent the last year wishing I’d made different choices when it came to her and our relationship. But if she decides I’m not the right person for her and she meets someone else, I won’t stand in the way of her happiness, and we’ll figure out a way to raise Kody so he knows we both love him. Until that happens or she tells me she’s not interested in trying to make this work between us, I’m going to do everything in my power to win back her heart.”
He seems to relax the tiniest bit, but his face remains a stony mask. “You’re going to have to do a lot more than throw money at her if you want that to happen.”
“I’m aware, sir. Money can certainly make things easier in a lot of ways, but it isn’t a replacement for time and love—and I plan to give Lainey and Kody as much of both as I can, in spite of the fact that my career means I can’t be with them all the time.”
He nods, but his posture remains guarded. “I hope you mean that, son, because I’ve never seen Lainey as devastated as she was when she came back from that trip, and I never want to see her go through that again. She might be strong in a lot of ways, but she has a soft heart. I won’t watch it get stomped on by you or anyone else—I don’t care how much money and flash you throw my way.”
“I understand your reservations, and I respect that you want to protect Lainey, but I flew you out here so you could spend time with her and see for yourself that I’m head over heels in love with your daughter—and our son.”
CHAPTER 25
HOCKEY HAZING
Rook
Based on Lainey’s recent bout of flu and the fact that her parents are visiting, the aquarium gives her the rest of the week off. Apart from ice time and training, I spend every spare moment I have with Lainey and Kody and her parents.
They see, maybe in a way they haven’t before, how incredibly competent and independent Lainey has become. I also get to see the overprotectiveness in action, and I understand better why Lainey came to Chicago.
Once Lainey’s back to herself, I decide a good way to help make her parents see that Lainey will have support when I’m on the road is to invite my teammates and their families over for a dinner party. In theory it seems like a great idea—the reality is a little different.
I’m currently standing between the kitchen and the living room, trying to figure out how nearly four thousand feet of living space suddenly feels cramped. The living room looks more like a ransacked toy store than a place we can relax in.
Some of the wives and Lainey are sitting in a circle in an area that’s been cordoned off with an extensive series of adjustable baby gates and fences meant to corral the toddlers and infants who are too young to go wandering around the house. It’s a friendly version of baby prison.
The older ones, who are less at risk of falling down stairs or putting dangerous objects in their mouths, are in the backyard with Alex and Miller—playing hockey, of course.
Lainey’s mom is in the kitchen ordering around Lance and Randy, who are currently wearing aprons and seem either too scared or too bewildered to do anything but follow her directions. I see where Lainey gets her kitchen bossiness from.
Violet is standing just outside t
he cordoned-off area where the infants are, talking animatedly to Simon and the wives. That could be a good or a bad thing, since pretty much whatever Violet’s thinking comes out of her mouth unfiltered.
Kody has learned how to roll over, but only in one direction, so he barrel-rolls across the floor until he bumps into the barrier of the gate by Violet’s and Simon’s feet.
I grab a nonalcoholic mimosa, which is essentially orange juice and fizzy white grape juice, from the counter and a bottle of beer from the fridge and make my way over to them.
“Alex was so enamored with Robbie the second he popped out.” Violet’s eyes are wide, and she leans in. “I mean, babies are all kinda funky looking, though, right? At least at first. Robbie looked like an alien. His head was shaped like a damn cone, and he had these crazy puffy eyes. He looked like he’d been smoking all kinds of the green demon while he was waiting to ruin my damn vagina.” She pats her belly. “I’m hoping this one looks a little more like a regular human than a distant relative of E.T. when he comes down the chute.”
I expect Simon to look scandalized, but instead he throws his head back and laughs. “The first one always looks the strangest. After that they start coming out looking a little less squished up.” He leans in and drops his voice. “Lainey came out looking just perfect right from the start. We knew we weren’t going to have any more kids after Lainey, so Elaine asked the midwife to fix things up a little.” He makes a hand motion below his waist.
“Oh my God, Dad! Are you serious?” Lainey looks mortified.
In Simon’s defense, people have been handing him beers steadily for the past three hours, and I’m about to offer him one more.
Violet doesn’t seem bothered in the least by this discussion. “Did it work? Alex wants us to have a hockey lineup, thanks to that one.” Violet thumbs over her shoulder at Sunny, who is also Alex’s younger sister. “I told him three is my max, because after that point I think they just kind of slide right out on a sneeze, you know?”
Simon chuckles. “It was like we were newlyweds again.”
And that, right there, is far more information than I ever needed about my future father- and mother-in-law. “Anyone need a refill?” I ask, sounding a lot like a prepubescent teenager.
Simon and Violet startle a little, possibly at my squeaky voice. Violet takes the glass from me and drains it in two long gulps. “I’m so freaking thirsty all the time, but this kid is trying to use my bladder like it’s a trampoline.” Violet pats Simon on the shoulder and then gestures below her waist. To Simon’s credit, he keeps his eyes on her face. “Thanks for the reassurance that my lady bits won’t be permanently ruined, but if you could avoid sharing that story with Alex, that’d be great. I’d rather he not know I can have six kids and still be a size extra small.” Violet waddles off toward the main-floor bathroom.
“She’s a lot of fun, isn’t she?” Simon tips the bottle back and takes a swig.
“She certainly can be. Pretty much always says exactly what’s on her mind.” Kody bumps up against the gated barrier, but when Lainey tries to move him back to the center of the circle, he squawks his irritation and reaches for me.
“You want to hang out with me and your gramps, little man?” I take him from Lainey, lifting him high in the air before I bring him in for a raspberry on the tummy. He giggles loudly and flails. Another, less adorable sound comes out of the back end.
Lainey glances at the clock. “I should feed him soon, or he’s going to get fussy.”
“How about I give him a bottle, and you can have a real mimosa and enjoy your time with the girls instead?” I offer.
“Are you sure?”
“Positive.” I kiss her on the cheek, get her a mimosa, and warm up one of the bottles from the fridge so I can feed Kody. At first he used to balk when I’d try to give him a bottle, but now he’s used to it. Lainey being sick, while not great for her, has been helpful in getting Kody to take a bottle easily from me. I get comfy in one of the lounge chairs, and Kody settles right in, sucking loudly.
Simon drops into the chair beside mine.
“You know, Lainey never really used to speak her mind, not until last summer. And I have to say, I think it’s a good change, even if it was hard to get used to at first.” Simon taps the arm of his chair and surveys the living room. “Your friends tell me a lot about who you are as a person, RJ.”
“They’re like a second family. Lainey won’t ever be alone—even when I have to travel, she’ll have people she can rely on.”
Simon nods, his attention shifting from Elaine in the kitchen, trying to help Randy take the hairnet off his beard—that he let her put it on in the first place is a miracle—to Lainey and the wives laughing with each other while they take turns tickling babies. “I can see that, and as hard as it’s been giving her space and independence, it’s clear that it’s been good for her. You’re good for her.” He says it almost reluctantly but with a smile that tells me I’m finally winning him over.
“She and Kody are the best thing to happen to me.”
The dinner party seems to be a turning point for me and Simon. After that he loosens up and lets his guard down. We talk baseball and farming, and I take him and Kody to the arena one afternoon while Lainey and her mom are at the spa getting pedicures together.
Two days before Lainey’s parents are scheduled to fly home, Elaine announces that Lainey and I need to go out on a date. “It’s wonderful that the two of you are so involved with Kody, but give us grandparents a night with him and go enjoy yourselves. Take Lainey for a nice dinner and a movie.”
“Are you sure? Kody can get fussy around seven, and sometimes he’ll cry for an hour.”
Elaine gives Lainey a look. “I raised eight children. I’m practically immune to the sound of crying. Go have fun, enjoy each other’s company.”
Since the get-together, Simon has lightened up a bit, so I feel a lot less like I’m walking on eggshells.
I make a reservation at one of my favorite exclusive restaurants where I won’t get mobbed by fans.
One of the biggest challenges so far is finding time to be adults without an interruption. So we take the opportunity that’s offered. I throw on a pair of black pants, a button-down, and a tie while Lainey gives her parents an outline of Kody’s every need and want—including a rundown of possible atypical scenarios—until Elaine holds up a hand and tells her that she’s pretty sure she can handle one night with her infant grandson and not to rush back.
And with that, she ushers us out the door.
We stop at Lainey’s apartment so she can change into dinner-appropriate attire, since she didn’t have anything formal to wear at my place. While I wait, she offers me a glass of white wine, the only alcohol she has, apologizing for the lack of options since breastfeeding and booze don’t really go well together.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m just happy to have time with you—I don’t care about your wine selection.”
She disappears down the hall into her bedroom. I’d like to follow. The time with her parents has been good, but I’ve felt a lot like I’m back in high school being monitored. Beyond that, there really haven’t been any opportunities for actual privacy, and by the time everyone is in bed, we’re both exhausted.
So when Lainey appears in the hallway in a slinky black dress, asking me if I can help her zip it up, all the blood in my head rushes to the one south of my navel. The prospect of having to sit through dinner with a raging, potentially embarrassing erection is rather unappealing. And peeling her out of that dress and worshiping every inch of her becomes the only thought I can entertain.
“Rook?” Lainey snaps her fingers a couple of times.
“Huh?” She never uses my given name, so I must have missed something.
“Never mind. I’ll change into something else.”
“Wait. What? No. I don’t want you to change. You look stunning.”
She scoffs and self-consciously runs her hands over her stomach.
“My body is different.”
“The only difference I see is up here.” I pat my pecs. “And I’m sure as hell not going to complain about that.”
“You might when I’m not breastfeeding anymore and they resemble sad mud flaps.”
I push out of the glider—they’re ridiculously comfy and soothing to sit in—and cross over to where she’s standing. “Enough with the self-deprecation. You’re gorgeous. End of story. My body doesn’t lie.” I motion to where my pants are snug at the crotch.
Lainey’s eyes dart down, and that blush I’ve missed so much colors her cheeks. She ducks her head. “You haven’t seen me naked in a while. Nothing is the same under here.”
“Is that an invitation, a challenge, or a statement of fact?”
She settles her palms on my chest, and for a moment I think she’s keeping me at bay, until she says, “Can it be all three?”
“I’ll accept the invitation and the challenge, but I don’t think it’s a statement of fact. Maybe you see yourself differently than I do.” I brush her hair over her shoulders, appreciating the slight tremor and her sharp inhalation as I move into her personal space.
“You’re blinded by the boobs.”
“They’re pretty incredible.” I ease a hand up her side. “But then, so is the rest of you.”
She steps into me and tips her head up. I don’t need more encouragement than that. I’ve kissed her on the cheek countless times in the past few weeks, but this isn’t the same. This is the first time I get to kiss her—really kiss her—since we said goodbye in Alaska.
I caress the edge of her jaw and sweep my thumb along the contour of her bottom lip, enjoying the anticipation before I drop my head and touch my lips to hers. A million memories come flooding back at her soft whimper and the bite of her nails against the back of my neck. And just like every single other kiss that’s had the intention of becoming more—and even the ones that didn’t—it starts out sweet. She tastes the same, feels the same—but better. She feels like mine and home and love.
A Lie for a Lie Page 22
