She didn’t answer and he didn’t push, enjoying the feel of her hair, smooth on the way down and ticklishly rough on the way up.
“We’re both… I mean… who’s the girl?”
It took Carla a moment to process the question. It seemed almost laughable to him, with his long history of dating men, women, and every blessed variation in between or outside of that binary, but clearly Charlie lacked that confidence. Or even knowledge, though it was surprising with the crowd she was surrounded by. All due to growing up in the wrong time and place and Lacey’s gender normative bullshit.
“I don’t think either of us is the girl. I’m genderqueer all the time. I’m a Dom some of the time, but that’s not a gender role. What we do in bed doesn’t change who either of us is.”
Charlie mumbled something into his shirt.
“What was that?”
“I-don’t-take-my-clothes-off.” It tumbled out as a single word.
“You don’t take your clothes off?” he repeated, trying to make sure he understood.
She sat up and pulled away from him. “I… I’ve never taken my clothes off with anyone. Just, like, maybe down to my undershirt.”
Carla shrugged. “That’s fine.”
She looked stunned. “That’s fine?”
“Sure. You get to tell me how you see your body. If there are parts of it that you don’t think of as being sexual, I won’t think of them as being sexual either. I’ll just ignore them and kind of forget that they’re there.”
“What do you mean?” her eyes narrowed.
He picked up her elbow and cradled it in his hand. He enjoyed the heft of it, the weight and muscular roundness under her shirt. “Most of sex is in people’s heads. And I can control how I think about you. Here, let me show you. Do you think of your elbow as being particularly sexy?”
She shook her head.
“How about my elbow?”
She gave in a curious look. “Um, not really.”
“I don’t usually, but it’s a choice we can make. May I show you?”
She looked distrustful but curious as she nodded.
With gentle fingers and all of the care it deserved, he opened the button at her wrist. He drew back her loose sleeve. It felt intimate, important. His first time undressing her.
He pulled back the fabric and stretched out her arm. The pale skin on the inside of her joint looked tender and exposed. And now that it was the focus of his attention, very, very sexy.
The angle was a little awkward, since he was sitting slightly behind her, but it would work.
He ran one soft finger across it, hardly touching, and watched her eyes grow wide.
He moved his finger back the other way, just the touch of his nail against the crease. She inhaled sharply.
Then he dipped his head to her arm and let a warm breath play over her flesh before following it up with his tongue. She was trembling from even that small contact and he couldn’t get enough of watching her.
He made out with her elbow, kissing and sucking, nipping at the tender skin and blowing cool breaths over it.
Before long, Charlie was panting, quiet moans falling from her lips. His own body was throbbing in arousal as he felt her soft skin against his lips.
When Charlie’s eyes fluttered closed, he gave one last bite just to see her mouth open in need, and then soothed it with his tongue. Reluctantly, he drew back.
It took her a moment to open her eyes and focus them on him, and he felt a rush of satisfaction. “See,” he grinned, “sexy elbows.”
He gently pulled down her sleeve and laced their fingers together, cupping her elbow between them. Even elbows needed aftercare.
“In the same way, I can just ignore parts of your body that aren’t part of how you want to present yourself. If your chest isn’t a sexual part of your body, I would just think of it like I would usually think of your elbow. It’s something we get to choose.” It wouldn’t be the first time he’d been in a relationship like that. It often came with dating trans people.
“So you mean, if I took off my shirt you just… wouldn’t notice anything?”
“That’s exactly right. Like, I’d notice you weren’t wearing clothes, but I wouldn’t be aroused by whatever was under them. Well, maybe I would be by your shoulders. God, I love looking at your shoulders.” He loved her belly, too, but he wasn’t going to say anything now. Society had so many hang-ups about weight and he didn’t know how she felt about it. That conversation would have to come later.
She looked surprised. “Really? My shoulders?”
“Yep.” He pressed a kiss to one. “Hella sexy. So broad and muscular and…” He gave her an open-mouthed bite through the fabric. He’d noticed that she liked his teeth.
“Would that be… enough for you, though?” The look on her face said it hadn’t been enough for many of the people she’d dated. His poor, broken baby.
He kept his voice light when he answered, though. “Sure. There are lots of sexual things we can do while you’re dressed. You could even fuck me if you wanted to.”
Her eyes widened and he repressed a smile. It was adorable how Charlie had surrounded herself by so many confident, sex-positive people but couldn’t quite talk about it herself. She’d defend to the death anyone’s rights to their identities and kinks, but she still looked shocked when he said the word fuck with her in the same sentence.
“You thought I wouldn’t let you fuck me because I’m a Dom?” He watched her as he spoke, letting the forbidden word linger soft and sweet on his tongue.
She nodded. Her blush was gorgeous, and her shy look up at him was better than he’d imagined.
He needed to have the sex talk, but he wanted to seduce her with his words while he did it. See what she responded to and get her aroused and needy for the possibilities. Show her what they could both have together.
“I bet you’re sexy as fuck with a strap-on. I would suck you off any day. Just open your jeans and pull out your cock, then take it in my mouth.”
Her eyes went wide.
“And you could bend me over and take me. I’m versatile.” That wasn’t a word he used often, but it seemed like it fit their dynamic.
“That doesn’t seem like… a very Dominant thing to do.” Was she asking for more dominance or just curious?
“It could be if I told you just how to do it. Just how to please me.” He watched her face carefully and could see the arousal racing through her. She liked that idea.
“Or if you were into it, I could tie you up so you couldn’t move, then ride your cock ‘til I got off. You’d have to watch me come, feel me grinding against you, but you wouldn’t be able to touch me. You’d just be there for me to enjoy.”
He could tell that she was imagining it. Wanting it.
“Would you like that, sexy? Your only job would be to relax and let me do everything. To please me just by letting me tie you up.”
“I… I think I do.”
He rewarded her with a kiss. That must have been difficult to say. “I would love that. I think you’d be gorgeous all laid out for me. I want you to know, too, that submitting never makes you weak or less than your Dom. I know that you’re strong. This would be something that you gave to me.”
Charlie wrinkled her nose. “I think I’ve heard that lecture a million times at Whirlwind.”
Carla chuckled. “Probably. But it still applies to you. It takes a lot of courage to give control to someone else.”
“Now I wish I’d listened to Dakota,” she murmured.
“What? What did Dakota say?”
“They said I should… you know. Come over here prepared. With a... you know.” She gestured vaguely, her fingers barely curled enough to form the lewd gesture.
“A dildo? A strap-on?” At Charlie’s nod, Carla laughed harder. “Oh, God. I can just imagine Dakota telling you that.” Dakota and their partners were incorrigible.
“God, I feel like such a teenager again. I should be able to say these words.
Ugh. Dakota told me to take a strap-on, definitely as part of some stupid bet, and I wish I had.”
She looked annoyed with herself, and it was adorable. Another peek under her usually composed exterior.
It was amazing the change that had come over her in the past few minutes. Almost like he’d turned some key and opened a door for a more genuine Charlie to step through. This wasn’t her stern, gruff exterior or the aching, timid butch who’d been hurt so many times. Those aspects were still there, but there was a new level of confidence, too.
Was this about supporting her in keeping her clothes on? Letting her know that she could still be masculine and a sub at the same time? The relief of sharing her story and being accepted just as she was? Perhaps it was some combination of all three.
He hadn’t expected to do anything with Charlie tonight beyond, maybe, making out on the couch. At best, he’d been thinking that they’d build up to things after a few dates, but he would have been fine with anywhere that things went. Hell, even ten minutes ago he’d thought Charlie was going to take off on him.
But if she was thinking about anything involving a strap-on, he wasn’t going to say no.
“Is that really what you want? I don’t want to push anything on you just because it’s something I enjoy.”
Charlie didn’t answer at first, but when she did, she spoke with conviction. “I think I… I want to try this. I’m still figuring things out, but… well, I’m figuring things out.”
He gave her a moment to think.
“I already told you about the whole… body thing. But I also… There was an expectation that I would take charge, too, especially since I didn’t want to be touched. And that was stressful, too. So I just didn’t sleep with anyone for a long time.
“When you started flirting with me, I just couldn’t figure out how it would work. But the way you explain it… I mean, if it’s still what you want, I’d like to try it, too. I just, um, want to know if there’s actually something that I like.”
As soon as she said it, her eyes dropped down again. But it felt different this time. Less shy and more submissive.
He tilted her face up again, moving slowly so she could see his intentions. “And you want to explore that with me?”
“Please.”
There was something about that single word that hit him hard. Charlie didn’t always speak a lot, which made each word more precious. This was her asking for what she wanted, even if she didn’t have the words for it yet.
He cupped her face in his hands, noticing her desire and her willingness to be led. Whatever submission meant to her, she was slipping into that place now.
He’d kissed her twice now, once on the cheek and once on the lips. He’d worshiped her elbow, which was sexy as fuck, but more of a demonstration.
He wanted her to remember this kiss forever.
He brushed their lips together, keeping things chaste and slow, though he wanted to devour her.
He explored her face, getting to know the shape of her with his mouth, the scent of her skin.
Her lips parted with another quiet moan and he took that as an invitation. He traced her bottom lip with his tongue, nibbling and sucking along the places he’d wet.
She held completely still, letting him control the kiss, but she was delightfully responsive. Was that uncertainty or a natural submission?
He explored the corner of her mouth and was rewarded with a small “oh!” He wondered if she hadn’t been with anyone before who took the time to kiss her properly. He was looking forward to showing her everything that she’d been missing.
He let his tongue dip into her mouth and her rapid breaths fanned his lips. He brought up his other arm behind her back to pull her closer, and her fingers tightened around his hand. She wanted to be closer, too, but was letting him set the pace.
Everything about her was intoxicating.
She was so courageous but so vulnerable. So capable but so willing to open herself to him. And she was so fucking sexy with those broad shoulders and that no-nonsense haircut.
“Do you want more?” he asked. “This is plenty for me, but if you want to keep going…”
“Yes.”
That was clear.
He swung himself onto her lap, grinding against her and deepening the kiss. He couldn’t get enough of those broad thighs, the way that she moaned underneath him and let him take control.
He tangled his fingers in her short hair, holding her in place. His kiss was commanding and devouring, demanding that she yield to him.
Their tongues battled as they licked and bit, tangling together and then darting apart only to re-engage at a new angle. Their noses bumped together and their teeth clicked, but he couldn’t get enough of the wild dance between them.
He pressed closer to her, pinning her to the couch. And oh, it was good to feel her squirming beneath him and chasing her own pleasure.
He opened his mouth wider to let her in, accommodating angles to let her take the lead for a moment. She sure as fuck knew what she was doing in the kissing department when she was in control.
After a deliciously hungry kiss, however, she started to falter, a silent request for him to step back into the lead.
He cupped his hands around her skull and quieted the kiss, making it long and deep and endless. When he pulled away, her breath was heaving and he could feel his own lungs gasping for air.
“Anytime you want it, babe, I’m yours. We can take as long as you need, or move this to the bedroom now.”
She laughed, already looking more relaxed and more aroused, too. “Like I said, I should have listened to Dakota.”
He liked this confident side of her. This side that was reclaiming her sexuality, even if she was joking around the serious parts of it.
“If you need a cock,” he rubbed against her, “I have plenty of those. And a harness that’s still new in the box.” He leaned in to breathe across her ear. “I’d love to see it on you. I’d love to pull it out of your jeans and make you feel good. Just tell me that you want it.”
“Please.”
Chapter 5
Charlie
Charlie zipped her jeans and checked the effect. There was a noticeable bulge, pressing against the denim like it wanted to escape.
When she was younger, she’d slipped rolled up socks into her underwear to create a soft bump. It was probably hardly noticeable to anyone but her, but it had made her more comfortable getting dressed each morning.
This wasn’t subtle, though. This was pure sex.
She tugged it experimentally, adjusting it under the fabric. God, it felt good holding the thick length in her hand.
She joked about cis-men for touching their dicks all the time, but she could see the appeal. She felt strong. Sensual. It was just a piece of silicone, but she felt almost proud of it. Proud of what she could do with it.
Proud of how, hopefully, she could make Carla feel good.
She adjusted it again and gasped at the unfamiliar sensation. Carla had set the whole thing up for her, including tucking a bullet vibe into the internal pocket.
Charlie hadn’t used one before, at least not on herself. But she hadn’t taken it out either when she saw it.
It was pressing against her now, a small ridge rubbing against the part of her body that would have been her cock if she’d been built differently. She pressed the dildo down again, testing out the enjoyable response.
Usually it was difficult for her to give in to her own pleasure, but maybe like this, with her cock sticking out and that little bump hidden behind it, she could let go. The whole contraption felt a little artificial and silly, but it also felt incredibly right.
She could see herself this way, and she knew that Carla could see her, too. That made a difference.
She tucked her shirt back in, knowing that she was dawdling. She could hear Carla walking through the apartment, probably getting things ready.
That was the annoying thing about strap-ons. They were difficult
to put on and there really wasn’t a sexy way to do it. Hiding in the bathroom like this was really the best bet, so that you could come out fully dressed and try to make things feel natural again. It was what she’d always done in past relationships.
It felt awkward, though. As much as Carla had tried to make it sexy, it broke the flow of what they’d been doing before.
Not to mention that it was one thing to feel sexy in a room by herself. It was a completely different thing to walk out with an erection tenting her jeans. Something better for a few months into a relationship, maybe, when she wasn’t feeling so vulnerable.
She battled the worries back. No one had ever understood her as well as Carla. No one had just taken her at her word when she talked about her body. Carla, unbelievably, didn’t even seem bothered by all of her restrictions. The desire in his eyes had never faded.
She still didn’t understand everything that Carla wanted, how the submission would fit with her complicated gender. But she was still dying to find out.
If only she could make herself leave the bathroom.
She heard footsteps outside the door and then a knock. Oh, God. That was even more embarrassing. Had she been taking too long? Was Carla worried that she couldn’t figure it out or something? “Just a second,” she called out, feeling foolish. She was just too old for this.
“Take your time,” Carla replied lightly.
But now Charlie felt like she had to move. She turned the knob and took a slow step out into the hallway. Time for the awkward party.
Carla looked her up and down, lust in his eyes when they lit on her cock.
He took two steps toward her, and then she was pressed against the wall, Carla’s mouth devouring hers. She felt herself getting lost in the sensations. Carla’s questing tongue and wet lips. Carla’s thigh pressing between her legs and rubbing her cock with just the right pressure. Carla’s hand tight in her short hair, trapping her head to plunder her mouth.
It felt sinfully good to be held this way, to feel the evidence of his desire and know that it matched hers. To feel all of his strength and power aimed at her body.
Whirlwind Page 35
