by Nora Phoenix
As his breathing slowed down, so did the frantic barrage of thoughts in his head. He wasn’t prone to anxiety, like Enar was at times, and Vieno even more. In that sense, he and Palani were more alike, systematic and rational in their thinking. But that didn’t mean he was without feelings, that his emotions couldn’t get the better of him now and then. They had now, and as he felt himself settle down, he realized how deeply Vieno had cut him, probably without intending to.
No, not probably. Certainly. There was no way his mate, his wonderful, sweet Vieno, had hurt him on purpose. Even if he had lashed out in his current state of mind, it had to be because of what he was going through, as Enar had pointed out. Lidon hadn’t been able to process that at the time, but now he realized that Enar had been right. It hadn’t been Vieno talking, it had been his depression and anxiety.
And if Lidon was honest, his anger and hurt hadn’t been aimed at just Vieno either. Yes, his omega’s expression of distrust and fear had cut deep, but Lidon’s anger encompassed more than that. There was a good portion of him upset with the others for missing all the symptoms Vieno must’ve had indicating he wasn’t doing well. And the biggest part was rage with himself for missing them.
He and Vieno were connected on such a deep level, so how could he have missed this? He’d kept his distance from him, not wanting to pressure him into something he wasn’t ready for. And he missed him, god, he had missed him. Not just physically, though he couldn’t deny that was the case. But he missed their emotional connection even more, the merging of their souls.
The first week after Hakon had been born, Lidon had still sought his company, had cuddled with him while holding their son together. But after a week, he noticed his own body reacting to Vieno’s, and he had withdrawn, not wanting to appear like he was only after sex. Sure, he noticed Vieno had looked confused at times, but he figured it was better to keep a little distance from him. How wrong he had been. And how unbelievably fucking stupid.
He tried to recall what he knew about postpartum depression, but it wasn’t much. The word depression indicated enough, he figured, which meant it wasn’t something that could be healed overnight. Then again, Vieno’s earlier symptoms that had been a result of the gene had all but disappeared after he connected with Lidon, hadn’t they? Lidon and Palani had even discussed this, how stunned they had been to see not just Vieno’s physical symptoms disappear but his mental symptoms as well. Could that be the case again?
Lidon mentally frowned. What if the solution to Vieno’s current physical and mental struggles was the same as it had been before? He thought back to the delivery, and how sharing the power in that room between the four of them had proven to be what Vieno needed to survive the delivery. Lidon had asked Enar a few days after if Vieno would’ve made it without that, and Enar had shaken his head after a short hesitation. “Precipitous labor for omegas is extremely dangerous,” he said. “Their bodies need the time to adjust before the baby is born, so the mortality rate for cases like this is high, about seventy percent. I’ve never seen an omega come through it as unharmed as he has, so yes, I credit your alpha powers,” Enar had said.
“Our powers,” Lidon had corrected him. “You know damn well it wasn’t just me. It wasn’t till we were connected with the four of us that he felt it work.”
That exchange made Lidon wonder if that was what they needed to do again, somehow create that same connection. It was worth a try, right?
But first, he had some things to make right with his omega, his mate. It was a sobering thought that a few weeks into the whole fatherhood thing, he had already fucked up big time. As he rose from his spot under a tree where he'd been resting, Lidon vowed to do better.
He started the run back at a much lower speed than before, his body tired from the miles he’d already put in. It was interesting, though, that he’d managed to shift so easily. The previous time, when they’d announced to the pack they were experimenting, it had taken him two hours until he’d managed. This time, it had been a matter of seconds, of instinct, not a conscious and deliberate attempt. What had made it work? He kept pondering this as he made his way home, but couldn’t come up with a satisfactory explanation.
He shifted back near the back door, not even sure how he pulled that off either. One second he had been a wolf, and the next he realized he couldn’t open the door in wolf form, and he had shifted back to being a man. Hmm, he needed to figure out why it was so easy now when it had been so hard when he’d tried before.
He should have known Palani would be the one waiting for him, sitting in the kitchen with a large cup of coffee. Palani looked up from a book as Lidon entered the kitchen, naked, shivering, and dirty. He slowly rose from his spot at the table, putting his coffee mug down. Lidon tried to read him, to get a sense of what his mate was feeling, but for the first time ever, he couldn’t.
Palani walked over to him, his face still unreadable. “Don’t you ever, ever run away from us like that again,” Palani said, and now the beta allowed his emotions to show. His eyes spewed fire, his face pulled tight. “Do you know what time it is? Do you realize how long you’ve been gone? I was worried sick you’d either gotten shot by some overzealous hunter or that you’d shifted back and were lying in a ditch somewhere, and we would have no idea where and how to find you. You can’t do this, Lidon, you can’t take off like that.”
Palani’s eyes welled up, and hell if that didn’t make Lidon feel like the biggest asshole ever. His eyes stole a glance at the clock, and dammit, it was five in the morning. He’d been gone the whole night, and all that time, Palani had waited for him. If there was a bigger sign of how much the beta loved him, Lidon didn’t know.
He reached for him, but Palani stepped back, and Lidon’s heart clenched in his chest. Palani had never done that before, had never avoided his touch. Had he fucked it all up, the most important thing in his life?
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize. I wasn’t thinking, I swear.”
Palani studied him for what felt like a minute, then slowly nodded. “I believe you, but I’m beyond angry, Lidon, so it’ll take me a while to cool off. I’m going to bed now that I know you’re safe. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
The cold, hard lump in his heart grew bigger. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right,” Lidon swore.
“Right now, you can sleep in the guest room so you don’t disturb Vieno and Enar,” Palani said, and walked out.
Lidon sat for a long time before he finally made his way to the bedroom, where he lay awake even longer, hoping and praying his mates would forgive him.
8
Bray lounged on his bed, watching some TV while forcing himself to eat a microwave meal. He’d worked out earlier, and after taking a shower, he was just too tired to cook. That happened too often, he admitted to himself. He worked long days and at the end of the day, he was often too tired to bother with a decent meal.
It was stupid, because ever since the bunkhouse he was staying in had been finished—and Bray didn’t know why they called them bunkhouses, when there were no bunk beds—he had a full kitchen at his disposal. And it was stocked, too, the grocery ordering system Palani’s brother Rhene had developed assuring everything was restocked on time.
They’d named the buildings that were ready. Omega One was the omega building that was finished, and it was the home of Sando, who seemed to be settling in well. Bray admired Enar’s vision of opening a safe place for omegas, especially those with the gene, but he’d be lying if he said it didn’t scare him a little as well. His encounter with Sven was still burned onto his mind, one of his biggest moments of shame ever. He could only hope that keeping the omegas separate would prove to be enough.
The building he was staying in with Adar, Isam, and Maz—when the latter was staying on the ranch—had been dubbed the Alpha House for obvious reasons. Jawon, Servas, and Ori stayed in another one, which they called the Workers' House. As an omega, Servas could’ve stayed in Omega One, but
since they were family, he’d opted to share housing with his brother and cousin. Kean shared housing with Lucan, who, like Bray, had left the main house when their dad had started seeing Lars and Sven. Their house was dubbed the Beta House, which wasn’t gonna win prizes for originality, but was aptly named.
Bray liked staying in the bunkhouse. It beat the hell out of the main house where he risked coming across his dad with one of his boys on his knees servicing him, as he’d been unintentionally subjected to once. The only downside was that it made seeing Kean difficult, at least without everyone else finding out. They’d met a few times now to hook up. He suspected others knew but were too polite to say anything about it. That worked for him. He didn’t care if people knew, as long as they kept their mouths shut.
He’d just shoveled the last few bites into his mouth and put the plastic tray on the floor when a wave rolled over him, sucking his strength out in a second. Bray lay down on his bed, gasping with the force of it. Lidon was shifting, he thought, but why? Palani hadn’t announced anything, so it was a spontaneous thing. Was something wrong? Or was it someone else?
He braced himself for what he knew would follow, and seconds later it came, this surge of power that made him jerk, his muscles contracting all at once. Damn, that shifting-shit was powerful. Lidon really needed to learn how to control that. His heart raced and of course, his cock was hard in an instant. Hmm, maybe the latter wasn’t so bad? He wouldn’t mind rubbing one out, though he remembered from last time, that hadn’t done much good.
Now he really wished he lived in the same bunkhouse as Kean. He could find him, though. The beta had to be affected as well, right? They could help each other out. Before that thought had fully formed, he stood next to his bed. He found his shoes, didn’t even bother to tie them. In the hallway, he stopped when he heard unmistakable noises coming from one of the other rooms. Maz’s room. It sounded like the alpha was having one hell of a good time. Who did he have in there? Bray wasn’t about to wait and find out. Not now. Not when his cock was leaking at the thought of being inside Kean again.
He met him halfway between their houses, Kean apparently having the same thought. Bray grinned, then jerked his head toward Kean’s house. “Your place,” he said. “Maz has someone in his room.”
They spent precious little time talking, both stripping naked as soon as Kean had closed the door behind them. Bray had him flat against the wall a second later. God, he loved the strength in Kean’s body as he pinned him with his own. He relished that he got to be more aggressive with him, that Kean could not only take it, but welcomed it.
Their mouths met, hot and wet, fueled by the same restless energy. Bray gently bit his lower lip, and Kean moaned. “God, I love it when you do that,” the beta said.
“I love the sounds you make when I do that,” Bray said with a grin.
His right hand snuck in between their bodies, finding Kean as hard and leaking as he was.
“I need to feel you,” Kean groaned into his mouth. “Hurry the fuck up, please.”
“Lube?” Bray asked.
“On the bed.”
“On the bed?” Bray said, smiling. “Were you expecting company?”
“I was literally fucking myself with a dildo when that surge hit. I came on impact,” Kean said, and Bray almost choked on his breath at the visual those words gave him.
“That means you’re…”
“Yes. No prep needed,” Kean confirmed. “So hurry the fuck up.”
The bossy beta was a far cry from the more timid omegas Bray preferred, but he’d be lying if he said Kean’s verbal matches didn’t amuse him. And turn him on, because that impatience was intoxicating.
“Bend over, hands flat against the wall,” he told him.
The wicked grin Kean shot him as he obeyed made his cock even harder. He grabbed the lube, found a condom on the nightstand, and rolled it on with impatient fingers. When he turned around, Kean stood ready for him, a bronze display of smooth lines and curves, that pale ass sticking out, demanding to be seen.
“You really need to sunbathe naked some time. Your pale ass could use some sunlight,” Bray said as he walked over and slapped said ass, resulting in a satisfying jiggle. Oh, there was a sight. He did it again on the other side, his handprint leaving a mark. “Though I have to admit, that’s a damn fine ass you have. I think it would look even better after a solid spanking,” he decided.
Kean rolled his eyes at him even as he moved his ass backward against Bray’s hand, which was kneading it none too gently. “You’re such a romantic. What’s next, Shakespeare? You’re gonna compare my ass to a summer’s day?”
Bray shoved his head down to make him bend over deeper and lined up behind him. “There’s nothing summery about your ass.”
Whatever Kean wanted to say turned into a long grunt as Bray pushed in with one deep surge, not stopping until he was buried deep and his balls slapped against Kean’s cheeks. Kean pressed his face against his arms, pushing back, and how Bray loved to see him like this, so greedy for more. He slammed in hard, the choked gasp from Kean music to his ears.
Bray found himself wanting to hurt Kean just a little more because of the glorious sounds the beta made. He might not be a sub, but he endured Bray’s rough treatment so beautifully, his strong body taking what Bray dished out. He wanted to explore that more, to see what other intoxicating sounds he could elicit from him.
His orgasm snuck up on him, slamming into him before he realized it, making him pant with the force as he pumped the condom full.
“Bray…” Kean said, coming close to whining.
He pulled out and got rid of the condom. “You’re even prettier when you’re desperate.”
That got Kean to look over his shoulder. “You think I’m pretty?”
Was that a weird term to use for a beta, Bray wondered? Maybe he should’ve used handsome or gorgeous. “You are when you’re in a little pain,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Those sounds you make are addictive as hell.”
Kean’s eyes widened before a blush crept up his neck. “I’ve been tested recently,” he said after a beat.
Bray raised an eyebrow. They all were, courtesy of a requirement for monthly testing from Enar. What did…? Oh. He considered it, then decided he’d love to see his fantasy of his cum dripping out of that bouncy ass come true.
“You sure?”
Kean nodded, a slow smile spreading over his face. Bray’s heart skipped a beat. He grabbed his cock with his right hand, Kean’s throat with his left, and held him tight as he pushed in.
“Dammit, Kean, I wanna keep doing this until we’re both too exhausted to come,” he grunted as he rammed right back in again. “Can you take this? Can you take me?”
Kean’s breath came out a half-sob. “Anything,” he promised. “Anything you dish out.”
His fingers dug into Kean’s hips as he fucked him relentlessly, his cock throbbing deep inside him, unencumbered by even the thinnest barrier between them. Kean’s arms buckled from their hold on the wall and Bray reached under his arm and held him up with his left arm, continuing his assault on his hole with long, deep strokes. Both their breaths came out harsh now, shallow puffs increasing in frequency.
Bray found Kean’s neck with his mouth, sucked hard, then bit down. Kean was now making sounds Bray had never heard before, almost animalistic. The beta’s body trembled against his, and Bray held on tight in case his legs gave out. He sneaked around with his right hand, gripping Kean’s cock with a tight fist. He swiped his thumb over the slit, catching his precum, then stroked him firmly.
It only took four, maybe five strokes before Kean exploded against the wall, shooting rope after rope, tremors wrecking his body. Instinctively, his ass clenched, and that was enough for Bray to release. He fucked Kean brutally through his orgasm, not stopping until he’d deposited every last drop of cum inside him, both of them shaking with the effort.
He let go of Kean’s dick and rested his head against the beta’s sweaty bac
k. “That was…”
“I need to lie down…my legs are shaking.”
Bray pulled out, and they stumbled to the bed, crashing on it together. A relaxed smile curved Kean’s mouth as he nestled against Bray’s shoulder. He looked blissed out, Bray thought, then realized he probably sported an identical look.
“That was perfect,” the beta sighed. “Man, I love your cock.”
Bray decided Shakespearean poetry was overrated.
For the first time since his men had moved in with him, Lidon woke up not only alone, but feeling lonely. He let out a deep sigh as he pushed himself out of bed. A faint headache brewed behind his eyes. No wonder after the all-nighter he’d pulled, and the day ahead.
He wasn’t sure what today would bring, but groveling would be involved and lots of it. God, he'd fucked up. He had no idea how to make things right with his mates. It wasn’t just Vieno, he’d realized last night. Palani had been beyond angry as well. The man had stepped away from his touch. That said enough, didn’t it? And he had deserved it. Hell, Palani hadn’t even given him half of what he deserved. He’d been selfish, too caught up in his own pain to realize what he was putting his mates through. Lidon couldn’t believe he had been that stupid.
He debated taking a shower, then decided he wasn’t that much of a coward. He had to face the music. Wasn’t it strange how he had no problem facing a drug gang, but now shook in his metaphorical boots at facing his mates? He wasn’t used to failing on this level.
Maybe it was good that he was taken down a peg. That was something Palani would say, and Lidon smiled. The beta was never one to mince his words. How angry and hurt he had been. Vieno had lashed out because of what he was going through, Lidon realized that. But Palani, that had been different. That had been fueled by the beta's love for him, by him being worried sick something had happened to Lidon, and that was not so easy to dismiss.
