by Nora Phoenix
Lars wanted to cheer, but realized in time that would not be good form. He would’ve loved to see Grayson's face as he did, though, but he'd better not push his luck. Grayson was beyond pissed off, so not the best time to push his buttons.
Much to his surprise, Grayson's expression softened. “You’re absolutely right, and I apologize, Enar. I was way out of line. I hope you’ll understand that this was my emotions speaking.”
“Grayson, I understand, believe me. But I’m glad you realize it too.”
Grayson nodded, then turned toward Lars. “I will leave you alone, and Enar was right that you deserve the time to cool off. I want you to know that I love you more than anything and so does Sven. This whole situation is not what you think. I hope you’ll come to that realization yourself, and when you do, or you want to talk, we will be there, waiting for you.”
Lars watched him walk away, and something in his heart shifted. What did Grayson mean that this situation wasn’t what he thought? Was it possible he had misunderstood something? He replayed the scene he had walked in on in his head. There was no other explanation than that Sven was pregnant. Enar hadn’t denied it either.
No, he hadn’t misunderstood. Not the pregnant part, at least. And he was sure he’d heard Grayson say it, that he and Sven would raise the baby together. Those had been his literal words, right? He went over them in his head, trying to look at them in a different way.
“Do you think he’s right?” he asked Enar, who had sat down next to him again. “Did I misunderstand them?”
Enar’s look at him was soft and kind. “I wasn’t in the room, so I don’t know what you overheard. But maybe the question is not what they said and whether you interpreted it correctly. Maybe you should ask yourself if the conclusion you came to fits what you have learned about their characters over the last few months. You’ve known Sven for such a long time, is this something he would do? You know he loves you. And so does Grayson. Lars, I see the way he looks at you, like you’re his sun, moon, everything. You and Sven, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you. He’s been such a good Daddy to the both of you, do you really think that what you accuse him of fits his character and behavior?”
Enar’s words hit him like a sledgehammer, breaking through his conflicted emotions and cutting straight to the core. One of the reasons why it had hurt so much was that he couldn’t believe they would do this to him. Enar was right, it didn’t fit their characters, neither of them.
Sven would never do something like this behind his back. They had made every decision together over the last few years, and even now when he struggled with something, it was often Lars he came to first, something that frustrated Grayson sometimes. And Grayson was far too honorable to go behind his back like this, he realized. Sure, they butted heads sometimes, especially when he needed something from him but wasn’t ready to admit it. Grayson had a way of getting under his skin, of pushing unrelentingly until Lars caved. But not once had he done anything that went against Lars’s will. He had always respected Lars’s “no.”
“It doesn’t fit their character,” he said to Enar. “It doesn’t make sense at all.”
“You should ask questions, then, instead of drawing conclusions,” his brother advised him, his tone understanding. “It’s hard when something hurts this much to keep your emotions at bay and allow yourself to rationally look at the situation, but that’s your best option right now. If you walk away in anger now, Lars, you may destroy something that can never be healed again.”
Lars bumped his shoulder against his brother’s. “You’re pretty smart, even for a doctor,” he joked.
Enar bumped him right back, a grin on his lips. “Wait till you get my bill for this psychiatric consult,” he teased, and Lars smiled.
They sat for a few minutes in silence, their shoulders companionably rubbing against each other, and Lars felt himself cool off. The whirlwind of emotions in his head and body slowed down, and he knew he had to talk to his mates right away. “Thank you,” he told Enar. “You said things I needed to hear. And thanks for getting Grayson off my back.”
“You’re welcome on both counts. And for what it’s worth, Lars, you guys will get through this. It may not be easy for a while, but the most valuable things in life never are. If there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that. Everything beautiful and wonderful in my life has taken struggle and tears to achieve or acquire.”
Lars thought about that, the concept of his brother struggling in life. It didn’t take him long to realize that he was right. There was the obvious issue of him struggling with his alpha identity, but there was so much more than that. Being in a relationship with another alpha, constantly submitting to someone else, that couldn’t be easy for him, no matter if he identified as a beta or not. And then to see that other alpha conceive an alpha heir with their omega, that too had to hurt. Lars had never realized that he and Enar shared that hurt, of always being second choice, or in Enar’s case, even third.
He rose to his feet, then extended his hand to his brother and pulled him up. He hesitated for a second and then pulled him closer for a hug. “Thank you, bro.”
He found Grayson and Sven waiting for him in their room, as Grayson had indicated. Sven’s face was red and swollen with the evidence of a serious crying fit that had lasted for a while. Whereas Sven usually would’ve stormed right at him and hugged and kissed him till they both ran out of breath, there was now a hesitation that had never been there before. The truth of what Enar had said hit Lars. If he did this wrong, if they did this wrong, they could break something that couldn’t so easily be patched together again.
“Enar said I should ask questions instead of drawing conclusions,” he said softly. “So I’m here to ask questions.”
“We’ll answer them,” Grayson promised him, and even his voice was choked with emotion, Lars noted.
“Are…are you pregnant?” Lars asked Sven.
The omega’s eyes filled up with tears again as he nodded. “Yes. I’m about seven weeks pregnant. Enar confirmed it.”
“And you’re okay? I mean, you and the baby are healthy?” Lars asked, suddenly worried there was something wrong.
It earned him a grateful look from Sven and one from Grayson that beamed approval. “Yes. I’m just tired, that’s it. We haven’t done an ultrasound yet because…” He bit his lip.
“Because you needed to decide what you wanted to do first,” Lars said in realization.
“Yes. Enar said it was my choice.”
“It is,” Lars confirmed. “D-do you want to keep it?” He forced himself to keep asking questions rather than to listen to the voice in his head that insisted that he knew the truth already and had every right to lash out in anger.
Sven nodded. “I do. I know it’s soon and unexpected and that I’m young, but I want it, Lars. I want it so much.”
A single tear meandered down his cheek, and Lars pushed down the desire to kiss it away. “Is that why you talked to Grayson? And not to me?”
A quiet sob flew from Sven’s lips. “I didn’t talk to him. You have to believe me! I didn’t go behind your back. We wanted to tell you, but—”
“If you didn’t talk to him, then how come he knew and I didn’t? How come I walked in on you discussing raising a baby together I knew nothing about?” His anger bubbled up again, and he reined himself in when he saw the devastated look on Sven’s face. “Please, baby,” he pleaded, the sweet word falling off his lips. “Help me understand why.”
“Will you permit me to explain?” Grayson asked, and it was as much aimed at Lars as at Sven.
Lars mentally braced himself, then nodded.
“I recognized he was pregnant,” Grayson said quietly. “I have three kids, Lars, I know what a pregnant omega looks like. He was off the last few days, different, and it clicked for me. He didn’t tell me until I guessed it, and we both agreed to tell you right away.”
Some of the tightness in his chest released. “But you made the decision to
keep the baby together, the two of you,” he said. “Why wasn’t I involved in that?”
“We didn’t make that decision,” Grayson said. “Sven did.”
Lars’s eyebrows shot up. “Are you seriously trying to tell me you didn’t weigh in on that?”
“I needed to know he wouldn’t be angry with me,” Sven said, and that stopped Lars in his thoughts.
“Why would he be…? Oh.”
“He already has three kids. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to be a dad again. And I can’t do this without him…but not without you either. I want this baby more than anything, but I need both of you.”
His bottom lip quivered and Lars lost his last bit of willpower. He rushed over, pulling Sven into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry, so sorry. I’m here, okay? I’m here.”
He felt his own eyes water as Sven sought shelter against his shoulder, his sobs turning into wails. “Don’t be angry with me, baby, please!”
“I’m not angry anymore. I’m so sorry, baby. I misunderstood. I thought you didn’t want me anymore, that you wanted to be with Grayson.”
Lars would have given everything right then and there to turn back time, to not jump to conclusions, because as much as he’d felt rejected and hurt, he was only now grasping how much he had wounded Sven. And Grayson.
His eyes found the alpha’s over Sven’s head, expecting to see anger or disappointment, but there was something he didn’t expect. A profound sadness.
12
He hadn’t slept this well in ages, Ruari thought as he woke up. Jax was still asleep next to him, making soft little smacking sounds that shot straight to Ruari’s heart. He’d never known how much you could love another person until his son had been born. Ruari had never considered himself the paternal type, maybe because he’d had such a bad example in his own father, but he couldn’t deny that Jax had changed him. He loved him, wholly and completely, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to keep his son safe and happy.
Jax had slept peacefully as well, only waking up twice that night. No wonder, it was so quiet on the ranch, so calm and peaceful. The air was fresh, unlike the stale, moldy air in his apartment that had him so worried about Jax’s little lungs. Here, everything was fresh, clean, the whole room where he was staying brand-spanking new. And the sense of peace he experienced wasn’t just the absence of noise, but rather something that hung in the air. Ruari couldn’t explain it, but it felt like coming home.
Of course, that made zero sense. It had to be his imagination. This couldn’t be his home, not in the long term, anyway. He was beyond grateful to Enar for giving him a chance to stay, but there was no way he could stay any longer than a few weeks. His presence here endangered everyone on the ranch. If his father ever found out he was staying here, Ruari had no idea what the man would do, but it wouldn’t be pretty.
His father was capable of violence. He’d seen it himself growing up, and he caught enough snippets of conversations to understand the man could be ruthless toward his enemies. Hell, Ruari had even overheard part of a conversation about an attack he had ordered on some group whose ideas he didn’t agree with. Ruari had never mentioned it to anyone. He wasn’t that stupid. When you grew up with a father like his, you learned to be blind, deaf, and mute. It was the only way you could survive.
And after what he had learned about the ranch, about the pack, these people had to be on his father’s shitlist already. If he ever found out Lidon could shift, that the wolf shifters had returned? He would burn this place to the ground. He would make it his life’s mission to destroy each and every person here. The thought made his blood run cold in his veins.
No, Ruari couldn’t stay here permanently, but he would enjoy it while it lasted. It would give him the opportunity to figure out his next steps.
After making sure Jax couldn’t roll out of the bed in any way, Ruari took a quick shower. He laughed at himself as he got out, because it was one other aspect where his life had changed a lot. He used to enjoy long, luxurious showers. Now he was lucky to get three minutes in, if that. When you were on your own with a baby, long showers were not possible, he had discovered.
Even now, he heard Jax stir, soft little cries drifting in from the bedroom. The baby wasn’t angry yet, but that wouldn’t last long if Ruari didn’t come get him. He got dressed quickly, then picked up his son and after changing his diaper, dressed him as well. He'd have to feed him in the main house, where Kean had told him to go for breakfast to meet everyone else.
With Jax in the sling, he made his way over to the main house, amazed at how busy the ranch was even at this time of day. Various men were working on finishing up another building, greeting him with respectful nods as he walked by. Had they all been informed of his presence yet? Most of them were betas, but he did see one big alpha at work, and much to his surprise, there was an omega among the men as well. Apparently, Kean had been right when he told Ruari that the pack didn’t care much for status and looked at talents foremost.
He caught a glimpse of Kean, on his way to the big stable with the cows. He wanted to raise his hand and greet him, but Kean never looked up. Maybe he would have the chance to talk to him later. His heart did a little jump at the thought.
He hesitated for a few seconds when he heard voices in the kitchen. Kean had shown him where everything was, but he had only met one of the people who lived in the main house: Grayson, an older but handsome alpha. He’d been super nice to Ruari, who had felt comfortable in the man’s presence, despite what he knew from Kean about his prolific sex life.
He took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen, where several people were sitting at the table while an omega was making breakfast. A beta standing near the fridge was the one who spotted Ruari first, and he turned around to greet him with a big smile.
“You must be Ruari,” he said. “Enar told us that you would be staying here for a while. I’m Palani, one of Enar’s mates.”
Ruari nodded. “Yes, thank you. This is my son, Jax.”
Palani walked up close. “Oh, he is adorable. How old is he?”
“He’s almost twelve weeks,” Ruari said, as always filled with pride whenever someone admired to his son. It was another one of those strange emotions he’d never experienced before.
“That’s close in age to our son, Hakon. He’s eight weeks old,” Palani said with the same pride in his voice. Right, the alpha heir, Ruari remembered. How lovely that Palani referred to him as “our son,” even when the baby wasn’t his biologically.
The other men in the room rose, he noticed, and he turned toward them, bracing himself.
“Let me introduce you to the others,” Palani said, then pointed them out one by one. “This is Grayson, but I think you two met already yesterday. That’s Sven in the kitchen, one of his boys. Lars, his other, is already at work outside. Then we have Sando, who is our main researcher into the Melloni gene, and that’s Lucan, one of Grayson’s sons, who you may have met in the clinic as he’s the office manager there. Grayson’s oldest son is the head of security here, Bray. Have you met him yet?”
Ruari tried to hide his shock at hearing that Sando, an omega, was doing scientific research. What kind of place was this? “Erm, thank you. No, I haven’t met Bray yet, but I remember you from the clinic, Lucan.” He did a little wave with his hand. “I’m Ruari and this is Jax. Nice to meet you all.”
There was a round of friendly greetings, and then Sven, the omega in the kitchen, asked, “What would you like for breakfast?”
“I need to feed Jax first, if that’s okay. Can I please use a microwave to heat water for his formula?” Ruari asked.
“Absolutely. There is purified water in the fridge. Grab whatever you need, and ask me if there’s anything you can’t find. When you’re done, I’d be happy to cook you breakfast,” the other omega answered.
Ruari couldn’t believe how friendly and welcoming they were, and it made him feel even more guilty about his father. If these people knew, would they still have welcomed him?
Would they still have been as friendly? He doubted it, and he couldn’t even blame them.
He quickly grabbed the things he needed for Jax’s bottle from the diaper bag he’d brought, then measured water and formula. He’d done it so many times by now, he didn’t even need to think. When the water was done, he added the formula and shook it well, then tested it on the inside of his wrist.
It seemed he had gotten it right as the bottle was the perfect temperature. It was also perfect timing, as Jax whimpered and made noises that would soon become a full-fledged wail if he didn’t get something to eat.
He was just about to sit down at the table when Kean walked in, looking all male and sweaty. “Good morning,” Ruari said self-consciously, aware that there were many people watching.
“Hey,” the beta replied, his face lighting up when he saw Ruari. “I was hoping to catch you here.”
Without hesitation, he stepped closer and looked at Jax, whose volume was increasing. “A little impatient for your breakfast, young man?”
Ruari smiled, his heart doing strange little flips at Kean’s tender tone with his son. “Yeah, I’d better feed him, or he’ll break out the sirens.”
“Can I do it?” Sven asked a bit shy.
Ruari wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t want to turn him down, not in front of everyone, but he wasn’t comfortable handing his son over to a stranger, even if it was another omega. Sven looked as young as Ruari himself was, so did he even have any experience with babies?
“He’s great with babies,” Kean said, his voice kind. “He takes care of Hakon a lot.”
Ruari hesitated for a few seconds more, then decided it couldn’t hurt, not with him right there. If Sven did anything he didn’t like or trust, he could always step in.
