by Kristie Cook
“You do not have to do this, Kristia.” It came out as a plea.
“Yes. I do.” I took a deep breath, shook my hair loose from its bun and smoothed the front of my too-big sweater. It was now or never.
Olaug headed to the library, where she pulled a book from the shelf. The wall folded out to reveal a staircase leading down, lit by wall sconces and carpeted in the softest of fabrics. These waters were too deep for me. I shot Ull an accusatory glare. “You didn’t tell me you have a secret hideout!”
Ull shrugged. “It never came up.” He gestured, and Olaug led the way down the staircase, kicking off what I had no doubt would be a very stressful afternoon.
We walked down to a secret chamber somewhere beneath Ý dalir. Bows, arrows, and a suit of armor filled a dark wooden case, kept safe behind glass doors. Another held a sword and shield, each so massive they could only have been intended for Ull’s hands. And still another held skates, snowshoes, skis, and other cold-weather amusements. Dark leather couches were off to one side, and a large table sat beneath a huge screen. A small network of scanners and laptops was in another corner, while a full kitchen nestled behind us.
“So how does this work? How do I show I’m good enough to join you?” My choice was made, but I was completely unprepared. I had no idea how to sell Ull’s grandfather on letting me into Asgard. Especially considering, one, Odin didn’t like humans, and two, my very existence was threatening to take away one of his best fighters. Tactically, the latter gave me an advantage. Odin would rather take me than lose Ull. But what if Balder said I wasn’t good enough? Then what would we do?
Olaug caught my desperate look. “Just be yourself. They are going to love you.” Before I knew what was happening, the big screen was filled with the enormous vision of Odin. Long white hair flowed seamlessly into golden robes, and an eye patch covered a battle wound I could only guess at. The remaining eye, crystal blue, pierced through the screen to meet mine with authority. His weathered face was fixed in a gaze that was neither friendly nor openly hostile. My muscles were immobilized.
“Kristia Tostenson,” Odin’s voice boomed—the sound of thunder. “You wish to join the ranks of Asgard.” So there would be no small talk. No nice to meet you; I’m Ull’s grandpa. We were jumping right in. But I wasn’t moving—Odin had a terrifying presence.
Ull stepped to my side quickly, his hand firmly grasping my own. “This is my love, Grandfather, the woman I have chosen to marry.” He held up my hand to show Odin the symbol of his pledge, and Odin glanced at the ring. “You do not have to grant her admission to Asgard, Grandfather. In fact, I would prefer you did not. But if you decline, I will join her in Midgard. I mean no disrespect, and I do not wish to upset you. But I am to spend my life with Kristia, wherever that may be.” It was a statement, not a threat, and Odin’s displeasure was obvious. I cringed as he looked back at me.
“You are a human, Miss Tostenson. It is unnatural for you to mix with us. Why would you think you are worthy to join Asgard?” Odin wasn’t trying to be mean—he genuinely didn’t see how I could think so highly of myself. At the moment, neither could I.
“Your highness—your excellence—uh. Sir,” I floundered. There was no rule of etiquette that covered this meeting. Even my grandmother would have been at a loss.
Ull squeezed my hand and whispered, “Sir is fine. He is still just my grandfather.”
Sir, then. I took a deep breath. The fresh air slowed my heart rate a little, so I took another. Four breaths later, I was composed enough to speak. “Sir, I love your grandson. More than I love my own life. I know what the next few months will hold and I don’t care. If Ull is meant to die at Ragnarok, then I’ll go down fighting at his side. I don’t want to take anything away from him. It would kill me if he left Asgard to live as a human. That’s why I want to join you. Fight with you. And if it comes to it, I want to die with you.”
Odin’s gaze softened the slightest bit, and I hoped my words had made an impact. How could he argue with my willingness to die for his people? He had to see things my way. Odin opened his mouth, and a flicker of hope ran through my chest. But when his eyes fell to my throat I clutched my necklace.
“Miss Tostenson, what is that at your neck?” MjÖlnir. The misappropriated elfin-made treasure of Asgard. Oh God, no. No, no, no.
“It’s not what you think.” I tripped over my own words. “My grandmother gave it to me; I had no idea it was yours. I swear. One of her relatives got it from a woman in their village, Ms. Norna, and I promise, none of us ever knew it was stolen. You can have it back. Here.” I started to rip it off but Odin held up a hand to stop me.
“Ms. Norna?” He paused, deep in thought. I could see him working something through in his mind. A smile tugged at his lips, but he changed courses again, keeping me on my toes. “You would die defending Asgard, Miss Tostenson?”
“Yes, sir. I will do whatever it takes to stay with Ull.”
Odin thought, processing my declaration while my nerves multiplied. A full minute ticked by. When his words finally came his voice was emotionless. “Miss Tostenson, it is time for Balder to render his judgment.”
Another man came into the screen. Tall, thin, his face lined with laughter and eyes crinkled in a smile, Balder looked so kind I felt instantly at ease. I stood, feeling ridiculous, for what felt like hours. Finally, Balder opened his mouth to give his verdict. Ull squeezed my fingers.
“Asgard should be lucky to welcome you, Kristia. Ull,” Balder winked, “You have chosen wisely.”
I released the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, and Ull hugged me tightly. “Are you sure?” He whispered into my ear.
“Yes,” I whispered back.
“Do you, Kristia Tostenson, accept this invitation to Asgard? Do you willingly relinquish your human life and accept the responsibilities that come as protector and defender of our realm?”
“I do.”
“Then there is but one more approval that must be granted.” I looked at Ull, but he didn’t seem to understand what was happening any more than I did. The test had three prongs: A god must choose a human, Balder must judge her worthy, and she must accept the invitation. We’d done all that. What more was there? “Thor, will you grant your approval? After all, it is by MjÖlnir that the magic shall be cast, raising this mortal to Asgard.”
Ull’s stepfather came into the frame, his enormous stature dwarfing the other two gods. His fiery red hair was unkempt, and he bore the scars of a seasoned warrior. When he spoke, his voice was rough. “My son. Is this the woman you have chosen for your wife?”
“Yes, father,” Ull beamed.
“Why have you not chosen Skadi? She is the best of your generation’s warriors.” Oh Lord, there was another woman.
“Father,” Ull was obviously fighting to stay calm, “I have never wished to marry Skadi. You know this.”
“But she is your equal in every way.”
“No she is not. She is a god. And she is a warrior. But that is all we have in common. She is nothing like me. I will not marry Skadi. I have chosen Kristia. And if you do not approve, then I apologize for disappointing you. But my decision is final.”
Thor’s eyes flickered to me, and I held his gaze. He stared for a long time before looking back to Ull. “This is not natural, son. Gods are not meant to merge their fates with mortals. You know this.” There was no judgment; he was stating a fact.
“I know the law.” Ull’s tone was flat. “But as I love Kristia, I cannot live without her. It is unimportant to me whether I live as an Asgardian.”
“You would give up your immortality? For a human?” Again, Thor bore no malice, but his opinion of my value was clear. It stung.
“Unthinkingly. She is my life.”
Thor looked at Ull, then at me, and back again. He shook his head from side to side. “I am sorry, son. I cannot consent to this union. Skadi is the perfect match for you. A partnership with her would strengthen the Asgardian race, breeding stronger warri
ors and”
“I am not marrying Skadi,” Ull exploded. Thor’s eyes darkened.
“And I cannot approve of this union. MjÖlnir was not made to provide a means for a human enter Asgard.” The two gods glared at each other, Ull’s anger radiating in hot waves. After an endless moment, Ull took a breath. When he spoke his voice was composed.
“I am sorry to earn your disapproval. I hoped that you would welcome Kristia to your home as you once welcomed my mother and me. I understand that will not be possible.” No, no, no. Panic overtook me as I realized what was happening. Ull gave what I’m sure he thought was a reassuring nod before turning his attention to the hushed discussion on the screen.
“Thor,” Odin spoke under his breath, “Ull is one of my best warriors. Balder has deemed the girl worthy. Even I can see the sense of approving this request, and we all know my feelings on this.”
Thor shook his head. “I am sorry, Father. I do not agree. This cannot be the best thing for our people.”
Odin looked like he wanted to say more, but Balder shook his head. Odin closed his mouth and addressed his son. “Thor, I cannot force your consent. And I cannot perform the transformation without MjÖlnir. I do not agree with your choice, but unless you change your mind, my hands are tied.” Odin turned to Ull and me. His regret was clear. “I am sorry, Kristia your request is denied.” My heart sunk. Denied? That wasn’t an option.
That meant Ull would become a human, completely defenseless at Ragnarok. It meant that Ull and I wouldn’t be able to fight for his familyI wouldn’t be able to fight for him, and our fates were completely out of our control. It meant he would have to give up who he was to be with me. This couldn’t be happening.
“I understand, Grandfather. Will you still perform our marriage ceremony? It would not feel right for anyone else to do it.” Ull’s reply came with a grace I did not feel. How was he so calm?
Odin glanced at Thor before answering kindly. “It will be my honor. Olaug, I will be in touch with instructions for the matrimony.” His eyes softened. “Ull, Kristia, be good to one another. Ull has been alone far too long.” With that, the screen went dark and we were left staring at the blackness.
Chapter Seventeen
ULL AND I SAT ON the leather couch, staring at his armor long after Olaug had let herself out. Neither of us could process Thor’s decision. I fought against emotion, doing everything I could to not let my despair overwhelm my desire to comfort Ull. He had essentially been kicked out of his family and was about to lose his immortality.
His father had condemned his decision, choosing to lose Ull rather than accept me. Thor’s decision needled my fear that I wasn’t good enough for his son, but this wasn’t about me—it was about saving Ull’s immortality. We had to find a way out of this. Thor was right about one thing—I wasn’t worth that price.
It was clear Ull wasn’t going to be the first to speak, so I sat up. “Ull.” Squeezing his arm yielded no response. His gaze never moved from his armor. I wondered if he was thinking about all the battles he’d fought for Asgard, all he’d sacrificed. It wasn’t right that he had given so much just to be kicked out. My resolve strengthened. “Ull, Thor is right. You can’t give up who you are to be with me.”
Ull’s head snapped in my direction. “Kristia, do not speak like that. You are the most important thing to me.”
“And you are the most important thing to me. But your dad knows what he’s talking about. If Asgard has any chance of winning at Ragnarok, it needs to have the strongest warriors possible. If this Skadi girl is such a good fighter, maybe she would make the best partner for you.” My voice broke over the words, but I forced myself to go on. “Look, I need to know you are alive and happy, even if we aren’t together. I couldn’t live with myself if you turned your back on who you are because of me.”
“Kristia.” Ull’s eyes mirrored my pain.
“Will you let me tell your dad what I can do? If my visions can help Asgard, maybe he’ll change his mind about me.”
“Absolutely not. You have no idea the danger you would be putting yourself into. I will not allow it.”
“Well I won’t let you abandon your family. You have to fight. Even if it means we can’t be together.”
Ull slammed his fist into the couch. He let out an agonized sound before dropping his head to his hands. “This is not right. I should not have dragged you into this. I never should have let you seek entry to Asgard.”
I rested my fingertips lightly on his bicep. “It was my fault—I’m the one who thought we could have it all. I thought I could have you, and you could still have your immortality. Instead, I’ve just made a mess of everything. Listen Ull, I … I.” My voice broke. This was too hard. “I … can’t accept this.” I slipped his ring off my finger, fighting the tears. “I can’t come between you and your family. I won’t be the reason you lose them.”
“What are you saying?”
“I can’t marry you, Ull. I’m so sorry.” I caught just a glimpse of Ull’s stunned expression as I put his ring in his palm and raced up the stairs to the main part of the house. Collapsing onto my bed, I gave myself over to waves of grief. My tears flowed freely now, carrying all of the happiness of the past few months. I’d let myself believe this could all work out. I’d even seen myself fighting at Ull’s side. How was this happening? The sobbing left a dull ache in my stomach, so I breathed until the numbness came. It was easier than the pain.
After a short eternity, there was a knock at the door. In my haste, I’d forgotten to close it. Through burning eyes, I saw Ull stride purposefully to sit beside me. He propped himself against the pillows to lean against the headboard, lifting me easily into his arms. He took a tissue from the box beside the bed, and dabbed at my bloodshot eyes.
“Kristia Tostenson, you do not get to give gifts back to me.”
“Ull,” I began. But he stopped me.
“No. You do not get to interrupt either. Now, if you do not want to marry me because you do not like me, or because you have reached the very wise conclusion that a life with me would be far too complicated for you, then I accept that. But if you are giving this back to me,” he held up his ring, “out of some misguided effort to protect me … well, then I will not allow it.”
“You’re not the boss of me,” I muttered through my tears. Ull smiled, pleased I hadn’t lost all humor.
“Which is it? Is my life too much for you, or are you trying to protect me?”
“Um …” His eyes were endless. Of course I wanted to marry him. How could he ever think otherwise? Oh, right. I’d thrown his ring at him and run out of the room. “Trying to protect you,” I mumbled.
“Sweetheart. I need you to listen very carefully.” Ull looked at me like I was a disobedient two-year-old. “It was always my intention to leave Asgard. Even before I met you, I was running away. It is not necessarily the life I would have chosen. Meeting you only solidified my decision. From the moment I saw you, I knew I would give up everything if it meant we could be together. So I am not giving up anything for you.” I choked back a sob as he brushed the tear from my cheek.
“But what I get is so much greater than anything I might lose. Yes, I will miss some of the perks. But what I feel with you is so much more. I have never felt this peace. Never.” He lifted my chin, so I had to look at him. “So, Kristia Tostenson, if I may be so forward as to try to be the boss of you. Do not ever take this off your finger again. Am I understood?” He slid his ring back onto my finger, and my tears started anew. We lay together as I cried myself out, Ull’s strong arms wrapped tightly around me.
“What are we going to do?” I whispered when the worst of the tears were over.
“Well,” Ull drew small circles on my back with his thumb, “We shall live as all humans do. We plan our wedding. We take our honeymoon. We live as husband and wife, have adventures, share love. When we are very old, we sit on the bench in our garden, with our tea. If Ragnarok comes before then, it comes. There is no sense w
orrying about it. But I cannot imagine a more beautiful way to spend my life.”
“I can’t believe your father doesn’t approve of me.” Years of small town whispers were brought to a head by the scariest god ever.
“It is not that he disapproves of you—you must listen to Thor very carefully. He says exactly what he means. What he said was that Skadi would make a more suitable partner to strengthen the Asgardian race. He does not know you, and he was not judging you. Really,” he confirmed as I opened my mouth to protest. I sure felt judged. “Darling, he does not understand the value you could bring to the realm. He does not know anything about you, your heart, your loyalty, your stubbornness.” He tweaked my nose.
“My visions?” I’d seen myself fighting next to Ull as a goddess. Had Thor’s verdict changed my future?
“No.” Ull’s brow furrowed. “I will not let him use your visions. I cannot lose you. Kristia, it is not important to me to keep my immortality. Please understand that.”
“Well it’s not right to turn your back on your family when they need you the most. And it’s important to me to protect your world. And mine. Just how are we supposed to convince Thor if you won’t let me tell him what I can do?”
“I am not sure that we can.” Ull’s blow was soft. “But let us not think of it any more tonight.” Outside the window, darkness had fallen on Ý dalir.
Glancing at the ring on my finger, I whispered into Ull’s chest. “Are you sure you want to marry me? Even if you have to give up your family?”
“You are my family. Marrying you is the one thing I am absolutely sure of. The rest will fall into place.” He kept saying that.
“Easy as that, huh?”
“Easy as that.” He kissed the top of my head as I fell into an exhausted sleep.
***
After the week I’d had, Cardiff felt like something from another lifetime. How was I supposed to focus on school when I needed to plan a wedding, make Thor like me, sell Odin on making me a goddess, save Ull’s immortality and fight to save the cosmos? Going to class and writing papers seemed like an insanely frivolous waste of time given the enormity of my to-do list.
