by Kristie Cook
Chuckles came from the students. I glanced at them.
“These unique names define us out there in the water during meets. What you may not know …” I made eye contact with Kate’s parents then glanced at the section with the swimmers. “What most of us didn’t know was the identity of the person behind these names. The person who listened, observed, and came up with the perfect nickname for each and every one of us.” I paused for effect. “Kate.”
Excited murmurs came from my friends again. Some turned and looked at each other in surprise.
“The coolest thing is there’s always a story behind whatever she picked. My name is Slinky. I wish it’s because I’m fast or smooth under water. My father bought me a slinky toy, which I’d take to meets to calm my nerves when I was with the Dolphins. Kate remembered.” My eyes smarted as thoughts of my father intruded. I swallowed and pushed them aside. I pointed at Marj. “Marj is Zoomer because it took her forever to master the use of her Finis Zoomer fins. Randy over there,” I pointed at another swimmer, “is Stoner. He acts high after practice because chlorine messes with his head.”
Giggles came from the students.
My gaze met with Jimmy Baines. “Jimmy is Condor because he has the perfect form when he swims butterfly, like a condor. Coach Fletcher is Doc because he’s been working on his PhD, like …”
“Forever?” someone yelled from the audience, and laughter followed.
“And Kate was Shelly, because she was quiet and shy until she was in the pool. Then she crawled out of her shell and shined like the star she was. I can list more things that made Kate special. From setting records in her freshman year to how she was always the first one in the pool and the last one out, but it won’t take away the pain of losing her, of knowing …” My voice shook, and tears filled my eyes, thoughts of my father returning and blindsiding me. I cleared my throat and blinked rapidly to stop the tears from falling. “The heartache of knowing that someone you love has been taken from you so suddenly, that you’ll never see him … her …”
More images of my father flashed through my head, and the floodgate opened. The harder I tried to stop crying, the faster the tears flowed. Through the haze, I saw two people move toward the stage. The next minute Eirik and Cora flanked me.
While Eirik finished my speech, Cora led me outside to the church’s stoop. She held me while I cried. She mumbled something over and over, but I didn’t hear her. The tears kept flowing. Kate’s parents had no idea how lucky they were to have closure. Not knowing whether my father was alive or dead just made everything worse.
A second thought crept in. I’d broken down in front of everyone. That was beyond humiliating. The thought of riding the bus to the cemetery then to school with them only made me feel worse.
“I wish we could leave before the others come out,” I whispered.
“I can give you a ride home,” Torin said from behind me.
I wasn’t sure I should. “We still have to go to the cemetery.”
“Go with him, Raine,” Cora urged. “Everyone will understand.”
I hugged Cora and started toward Torin’s bike. We didn’t speak during the brief walk. He wiped some of the wetness from my cheeks before snapping the helmet into place, his expression filled with concern. More tears threatened to fall. I hated it when people pitied me. It was as though their pity made things seem worse.
Needing his warmth, I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, for once not stressing about holding him. As though he knew it, he gripped my hands before starting the engine. When we got home, he walked me to the door, his hand reassuring on my arm.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said.
“Anytime. If you want to talk, I’m a good listener,” he said softly.
I did want to talk. “Okay. Come inside.”
Mom was gone, but she’d left the TV on. I switched it off, removed my coat, and draped it on the back of a dining room chair. I glanced at Torin. “Would you like something to drink?”
He shook his head and waited until I got bottled water and sat on a stool before he did, his eyes not leaving me. “I wish you wouldn’t stare at me like that,” I whispered.
“Sorry.” He still didn’t look away. “You miss him, don’t you?”
“What?”
“Your father.”
I blinked. “Yes. How did you know?”
“Something you said in your speech. The tears and the pain I see in your eyes are more personal.”
I stared at him, amazed at how well he could read me.
“Tell me about him.”
I remembered what he’d said last night about knowing those he recruited. “But you already know about him.”
“All I know is that he was flying home from a business trip when his plane crashed. It’s been months, and they still haven’t found his body.”
“The last time we spoke, he was at the airport,” I started, but soon I was talking about my childhood, the things we used to do, places we went as a family, the way he was always there for me. I talked until my voice was hoarse. “Mom believes he’s alive,” I whispered. “But I’m scared she’s deluding herself, maybe losing it.”
“Why do you say that?”
“She talks to herself. I mean, she stands in front of that,” I waved toward the living room mirror, “and pretends she’s talking to him. I can’t afford to lose her, too. She’s all I have.” I didn’t realize I was crying until Torin reached out and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I swiped at my cheeks, too. “I’m sorry. I don’t usually break down like this.”
“Don’t apologize.” He tugged me into his arm. “Cry all you want. I’m here for you for as long as you want me.”
Needing the comfort, I clung to him. I was surprised I had tears left. When he leaned back and ran his knuckles along my cheekbones, drying the wetness, his touch was so gentle. My heart picked up tempo, and I struggled to breathe.
“Freckles,” he said softly, his voice low and urgent. “Look at me.”
I looked up and immediately wished I hadn’t. Blue flamed flickered in the depth of his eyes, their intensity taking my breath away.
“You feel it, don’t you?” he said. “This thing between us.”
‘Thing’ didn’t begin to describe how I felt about him. He was an obsession, a craving. I had Eirik whom I’d loved since we were children, and that wasn’t about to change. But Torin affected me in ways I couldn’t begin to describe. I was miserable without him, yet when with him my emotions were all over the place. He made me mad one minute and euphoric the next.
“I, uh, I need to wash up.” I moved out of his arms and went to the downstairs bathroom. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without feeling like a fraud. How could I love Eirik and want Torin? It didn’t make sense.
Taking a deep breath, I left the bathroom. Torin stood in front of the mirror in the living room, the same one Mom often talked to. He turned and smiled, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Feeling better?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
He closed the gap between us. “Could you do me a favor?”
I nodded warily. “Sure.”
“Give your mother the benefit of the doubt when it comes to your father.”
“What do you mean? Do you know something you’re not telling me?”
“True love transcends logic, Freckles. It’s a blending of minds and souls.” He stared into my eyes, and at that moment I knew he could see right through my bullshit to what I really felt for him. “It makes us feel and see things in ways that normal people don’t. You don’t question it or try to understand it. You just accept it for the gift it is. So if she believes he’s still alive, give her the benefit of the doubt.”
“Okay.”
“Good. I, uh, better go. I have guests.” He ran his knuckles along the side of my face then headed out the door.
I ran to the window, expecting to see Jess and her friends. Instead, a furniture truck was backing into his driveway. Cora and Eirik
arrived while the people were still carrying huge boxes into Torin’s house.
“You okay?” Eirik asked. I nodded, but we didn’t discuss my breakdown. “Come on. I’ll buy you two ladies lunch,” he said, placing one arm around Cora’s shoulder and the other around me.
“Does that mean you’re going shopping with us, too?” Cora asked.
Eirik laughed. “In your dreams.”
***
“Come out and give me your honest opinion,” Cora called out.
I poked my head out of the changing room and studied her. She preened in front of the three panel mirror at the corner, turning left and right, the pink dress frothing around her knees. “I love it, but it’s a bit tight across the chest.”
“I know.” She tugged at the neckline. “I love the color, though. Did I mention that Keith came to my place last night and asked me to the dance?”
“No, you didn’t. So we’ll go together?”
“Absolutely. He had a surprise for me, too. He’s made the final list for Homecoming King.”
With everything going on in my life, I had completely forgotten the tradition my school took so seriously. “That’s great. With everything he does, he might beat Blaine hands down. It would be nice to have a king who wasn’t a quarterback.”
“I know. Go try the green dress. I want to see how you look.”
I disappeared inside the changing room and slipped on the emerald-green dress. I studied my reflection and grinned. I loved it even though I was worried about the back. It had a plunging neckline, which meant I’d have to wear it without a bra. Also, it was way above my budget.
“Well?” Cora called out.
“It’s cute,” I said.
“Cute? Your first Homecoming Dance deserves a dress that’s more than cute. I want to see it.”
Rolling my eyes, I stepped out of the changing room, but she was still in her changing room. I walked to the mirror she’d been using before and studied my back.
“You look stunning.”
I whipped around, my heart skipping. Torin leaned against the wall, a heated look in his sapphire eyes. “What are you doing here?”
“Looking for you.” His eyes ran along my shoulders, left bare by the thin straps, a wicked smile curling his lips. My body reacted as though he’d reached out and touched me. He pushed against the wall and moved closer. My heartbeat picked up tempo. “Following your essence hasn’t been easy. You’ve been all over the mall.”
“My essence?”
“Yes, your essence. Andris is back, so I thought I’d give you a heads up.”
“Where was he?”
“He took a friend home.” His voice deepened with each word as he continued. “You take my breath away, Freckles. You always have, but in that dress... I want to claim you and to Hel with the consequences.”
His voice washed over, and the adoring look in his eyes held me spellbound. He came and stood in front of me, his eyes locked with mine. “The color adds green flecks to your eyes, and the material,” he leaned back and gave me a once over, “hugs your lush curves in just the right places.”
I swallowed, my face burning. I wanted to say something witty, but my mind had gone blank, and my tongue stayed glued to the roof of my mouth. His hands rested on my hips and slowly pulled me closer until our bodies touched. I quit breathing all together.
“If you were mine,” he whispered, “we’d have a private dance for just the two of us before I shared you with the world.” Suddenly, runes appeared on his cheeks and forehead.
“Who are you talking to?” Cora asked from behind me. She’d stuck her head out of the changing room. Torin’s hands dropped from my waist, but he didn’t move away.
“I, uh, I was talking to myself,” I stammered.
“How could you say that is cute? You look fabulous,” Cora gushed. “Turn around.”
I turned, aware of Torin watching my every move, his eyes gleaming. He reached out and ran a finger down my back. Heat shot up my spine, and my knees nearly gave away. But he was there, tugging me against him so my back rested against his chest. He was tormenting me whether he knew it or not, and worse, I couldn’t scold him without looking and sounding like a lunatic.
“You okay?” Cora asked. “You just stumbled.”
I blinked. “I did? I must be more tired than I thought.”
“Then let’s finish here. Oh, and you’re buying that dress or I’m never shopping with you ever,” Cora threatened, moving closer to the mirror to study her own reflection.
“I’ll shop with you,” Torin whispered. “You can buy anything you want.” He dropped his head and kissed my shoulder. I trembled, shocked by his boldness and the sensations rocking my body. He was seducing me right in front of Cora. Worse, I didn’t want him to stop. His lips moved along my neck. I moaned and closed my eyes, tilting my neck to give him better access.
“What are you doing?” Cora asked, studying me through the mirror.
My eyes snapped open. “I’m, uh, imagining I’m dancing in this dress,” I said in a squeaky voice then tried to put some distance between me and Torin, but he wasn’t ready to let me go. “I’d love to buy it, but it’s outside my price range.”
“Charge it,” Cora said. “Your mother gave you a credit card, didn’t she?”
“No, just the debit,” I corrected her.
“I have money, Freckles. Plenty of it. I’ll buy it for you,” Torin offered, his voice seductive and hypnotic. “You can wear it just for me.”
“Okay, I’ll buy it,” I said, answering both of them. Torin chuckled and stepped back from me, while Cora grinned as though she’d won the argument. If only she knew.
I ran into the changing room, expecting Torin to follow. He was so bold I wouldn’t be surprised if he did. I wanted him to. I could still feel his lips on my skin. A delicious shiver shot up my spine.
“You didn’t tell me what you thought of my dress,” Cora called out.
“I’ll be out in a second.” By the time I pulled on my jeans and stepped out, I was calmer and Torin was gone. Disappointed, I studied Cora’s outfit. “It’s nice, but I like the blue one better.”
“Me, too,” she said. She disappeared inside her changing room. “Be out in a second.”
We paid for our purchases and headed home. Marj, Catie, and Jeannette, the three girls who’d helped Eirik and Cora with my birthday party, were getting groceries from an SUV outside Torin’s house. They saw us and waved.
Marj walked over, her curly hair rolled up in a bun. As I studied her, she looked more and more like the nurse at the hospital. It was spooky. I shivered a bit.
“We didn’t know you and Torin were neighbors,” Marj said.
“I’m not, Raine is,” Cora said. “What are you guys doing?”
“Helping Torin. He’s gone all out, and his place is amazing. Are you guys coming over to help?”
“I will,” Cora said. She glanced at me and cocked her brow.
I shook my head, just as Torin stepped out of his house. Our eyes met and heat sizzled between us, my senses remembering the incident at the mall. He grinned as though he’d read my thoughts. Cora, oblivious to the undercurrent, walked over to chat with him.
“I guess we’ll see you tonight,” Marj said.
“Sure. Uh, Marj? Are you by any chance related to the Guillaumes? I met a nurse at the hospital by the name of Gabrielle, and you two could be sisters.”
She blinked. “Yeah, uh, we’re cousins,” she said, laughing. “But I look nothing like her. See you later.”
As I watched her go, I wished I had agreed to help with the party just so I could ask her about her cousin and aunt. On the other hand, one second in Torin’s presence and they’d all know how I felt about him.
Sitting on the window seat, I started on something I had put off since our visit to the hospital. I pulled out the phone book and tried to track down the other two nurses.
Mullin was a common local name and yet I still couldn’t find a Sally Mull
in or anyone who’d known her. Kayla Jemison wasn’t even listed.
***
“Have fun,” Mom called out hours later.
Even though she smiled at the three of us—Cora, Eirik, and me—I knew she was talking to me. My heart picked up tempo the closer we got to Torin’s. Along with the excitement was worry. What if Jess was there and she saw me staring at Torin like a love-struck idiot? I wasn’t even sure what I felt for him was love. All I knew was that I wanted him. Needed him. He made feel alive, special.
Some students lounged on the front porch while others were in the backyard, plastic cups in their hands. The thrumming music didn’t seem loud, until we entered the house. Sketches of runes in neon ink ran across the walls. Maybe they had something to do with the dampening effect of the music.
I searched for Torin among the dancers in the living room, but didn’t see him. Jess wasn’t around either. Were they making out somewhere? I had no idea where the thought had come from, but it made me sick.
Pushing aside the thought of the two of them together, I looked around. Instead of the single couch I’d seen before, several lined the wall. A band played on the large flat-screen TV above the fireplace, giving the illusion of a live show. For someone who didn’t like technology, he’d sure gone all out on the latest gadgets.
Loud laughter drew us to the kitchen. The L-shaped kitchen counter and the island had chips and dips, crackers and cheese, and pitchers of drinks. Some students sat on the stairs leading to the second floor. Others were crowded in the family room across from the kitchen, watching a four-player game on another large-screen TV.
“Happy you could make it, guys,” Torin said from behind us, and we turned. Jess clung to his arm like a leech.
“We won’t stay for long,” Eirik said, his arm tightening around my shoulders.
“Then help yourselves to anything and have fun.” His gaze lingered on my face, or maybe it was just my imagination.
“I hope you don’t mind, Jess, but Torin promised me a dance.” Cora grabbed his hand and tugged until Jess let him go. She pulled him toward the living room.
Jess stared after them, then turned and faced us. Her friends, Danielle, Savanna, and Vera stood behind her like courtly entourage.
