by Matthew Fish
“Yeah,” I say as I remember back to the footage. “So I guess my mission now is to get this info into the media’s hands or someone that can do something so people will stop killing the Unstables out of fear. It is the Calm that makes them worse—that will most likely cause them to go Aggro. With C-Shapes gone, and the supplies running low a lot of people are going to get very scared.”
“It’s already happening man,” Robert says as he shakes his head. “In Flagstaff you have people with guns running around killing Unstables, the Hunters… anyone affiliated with C-Shapes. Some people out there just killing other people… you got guys out there with signs that say it’s the end of the world, and fuck all if most people don’t believe it. It’s looting, constant fires…”
“I had no idea it was so widespread,” I say as I begin to wonder if I am on a fool’s errand. “I heard about Los Angeles…”
“It’s spread to Chicago… St. Louis, New York, Miami, New Orleans, Denver, and Las Vegas. I hear very few cities are still normal… I think Seattle is fine. Some of the northern states are being more rational. A lot of places are locking up their Unstables… it’s cruel but—it’s more humane than death.”
“I don’t even know what I’m doing…” I whisper as I realize that things are far worse than I thought.
“Well at least you’re doing something,” Robert says as he punches me in the shoulder. Although it isn’t very hard—my body has not exactly been treated very well lately. “Most people are hiding… present company included.”
“Yeah, but I have no idea how to get the info out there… I have a metal case I don’t know how to open—I’m suppose to give it to someone important—I don’t know who to trust,” I begin to list off all of the obstacles In my path. The more I talk about them the more impossible it sounds. “I got it from an Unstable, or a man pretending to be an Unstable… either way, I don’t even know who will listen.”
“You feel like you got yourself into something you have no idea how to handle, or how it will work out?”
“Pretty much,” I say with a nod.
“Every day I was deployed—that is how I felt, I didn’t know what my purpose was. I didn’t even know why I was there half the time. I knew I made a mistake in joining up—but I stuck in there. That’s what you do; you stick in there until it makes sense.”
“Did it eventually make sense to you?”
“Fuck no,” the man says with another hearty laugh. “But I survived, I was a mess when I got back—but… A lot of friends man… they didn’t get to come back. So was there a point? I don’t know… I feel like I would have been better off dead then live to see days like this.”
“That’s just about my plan these days… to survive, keep her safe…”
“I’m his caretaker…” Claire whispers. She has been silent the whole time.
“Well, she keeps me safe. Probably more than I have kept her safe.”
“You are definitely welcome to stay,” the man says as he rocks back and forth in his chair. “There is a shower on the loft up there—you guys can have the bed. I’ll take the couch down here.”
“Thank you,” I say as I begin to head up the stairs. “Do you need anything? We have some stuff—I don’t know if any of it will be helpful.”
“You have any meds?” He asks. “I get terrible headaches.”
“I dig into my backpack and toss the man a bottle of Ibuprofen. “I got an extra bottle you can keep that one.”
“Thank you, both of you—I’m glad you came around… sorry if I scared you.”
“These are scary times…”
“Scary times,” Claire repeats as she follows me up the staircase.
I toss the backpack onto the bed and follow her into the shower. We undress each other and toss our dirty clothes onto the floor. We spend a long time in the warmth. She begins to kiss me as the warm water falls against our naked skin—I want her so badly, however, the situation isn’t exactly ideal. Especially when the warm water runs out and turns cold…
“I really wanted you,” I whisper as I unpack some fresh clothes from the bag.
“I know,” Claire says as she laughs. “I could tell.”
As we finish dressing we leave the bathroom. I look down from the loft and see Robert sitting in his rocking chair. He is holding a small television set and is listening intently.
“Any good news…?” I ask.
“Might be a good idea to only stay one night,” Robert says as he gestures for me to come down. I descend the staircase and stand beside him looking into the small monitor. I see the same woman from earlier, she is reporting from the ruins of the White House.”
“Who are these people?”
“Just normal people who have picked up cameras and decided to be reporters I guess,” Robert says as he shrugs his shoulders. “People have to know what’s going on. I don’t think I could do it.”
“What’s going on?”
“The President is warning that action will be taken tomorrow at noon on major cities if the riots do not end by morning…”
“That’s just… empty threats though right?”
“Never know… we don’t know what his mental state is—the people in charge, they could all be going nuts, I mean the government is basically declaring war on its own people. It might not have much of a military left after the fight with the Aggros, but they still have jets—bombs… I don’t think they’d ever bomb one of our own cities… but then again I don’t know much these days.”
“We’ll head west in the morning,” I say as I nod. I walk out to the car and grab a few meals for me and Claire. I grab an extra bagged meal for Robert—he seems to rather enjoy them, perhaps a little too much.
As I walk in I toss the meal to Robert who smiles happily as he tears into the bag. “Do you mind if I use the stove.”
“It ain’t even mine,” Robert says with a laugh.
“I warm up two giant bowls of soup and head upstairs and hand one to Claire. We eat in silence. I am still trying to figure things out in my head. There is so much going on—I still can’t quite get a grasp of things. I am so terrible at this.
As it gets later Robert turns off the downstairs light.
“No fucking up there now!” He shouts as he crawls into the couch, laughing hysterically.
“Goodnight Robert,” Claire shouts down.
“Goodnight, both of you…” Robert quietly answers back.
We wrap the warm covers around us as we cuddle close together.
“You looked troubled at dinner…”
“I don’t know what to do with the information Noah gave me,” I admit. Although I’m sure she already well knows at this point.
“Well…” Claire says watch her close her eyes and attempt to concentrate.
“Don’t strain yourself…” I say as I place my hand and run it gently through her hair and rest it upon her shoulder. “It even gives me a headache.”
“Why did you… trust Noah in the first place?” Claire finally asks. “Why didn’t… didn’t you just—think that he was not right?”
“I guess, a lot of the stuff he was saying was making sense—a lot of it came true.”
“But… at the time… time… I was in the hall so I don’t… you didn’t have to believe him, none of this had happened yet?”
“He said something that really hit home… he said that he got me into the C-Shapes program, and that he knew that I had lied on my application. That I was never going to get in because even C-Shapes knew that I had lied.”
“What did you lie about?”
“I told them I never had any mental issues in the past.”
“And… and you did?”
“Yeah,” I whisper as I remember that terrible time. “I told you about how I wrecked my parents’ car—well put it in a lake.”
“I almost lost you then,” Claire whispers as she squeezes me tightly. “Even if we didn’t know each other I’d be sad? I guess I wouldn’t know any better… but�
� I remember the story.”
“Well when I got back, my parents were sitting at the kitchen table. Just… doing nothing at all, they had both gone Catatonic. The spent years like that, just sitting in one place and doing absolutely nothing at all. I took care of them, cleaned them up—fed them. Finally the Sitter program came around and I got help. I stayed in the house, always waiting for them to just snap out of it one day. I heard rumors that it was permanent—that there was violence going on, and that terrible things were happening all over the world, my mind just shut it all out. I was just waiting… I’ve spent my whole life waiting, I guess you could say. Anyway, when giving my parents their dose one day, the Sitter notices a change. My parents both get up and start throwing furniture—they become so… different that they don’t even look like my parents, but some kind of monsters.”
“They got really angry and couldn’t calm down.”
“Yeah,” I say as I continue. “They both went at the same time. I remember having to run and dodge things flying all around me—chairs, dishes… anything they can get a hold of. Hunters arrive after what seems like forever… The Sitter has pulled me out of the house and into the yard. My parents, finished basically destroying the inside of the house, come charging out. I try and run to them… I don’t want to lose them. One of the hunters grabs my by the back of my shirt. I watch as both of my parents are gunned down. There is so much blood.
“I’m so sorry, Ethan,” Claire whispers as she wipes away a tear from my eye and softly kisses my cheek.
“I move to the city and start working… I don’t do well. I’m always sick—I always feel like I’m going to die.”
“Anxiety attacks…”
“Exactly, and they started to happen all the time—so I was put on Clonazepam. I got better, I worked, and I went through terrible withdrawals when I had to get off of them… thought I was going to die for sure then as well. I guess though, it was always on my record. I didn’t figure that with everything going on they kept records. The doctor that gave me the Clonazepam wasn’t even a psychologist… they couldn’t spare any. So when I applied and interviewed the very first time, I said that I had never had any mental issues, and that they were away in Wisconsin when they died. I suppose they knew the real truth—that’s why I had to wait years until Noah got me in. That’s when what he said made sense to me. I suppose, he had a plan for me. Whatever it was, I don’t think he intended things to end up this way.”
“He couldn’t know everything that was going to happen,” Claire says as she brushes closer against me.
“That’s true,” I say as I place my hand on her leg. “He thought I’d just… feel compassion for you, sympathy because you’d be like me… he never knew that I’d fall in love with you.”
“I can be very quiet if you can be,” Claire whispers as she lifts up her nightshirt and slides my hand between her legs.
“I think I can manage that,” I whisper as I begin to kiss the back of her neck. She raises her leg and I position myself behind her and gently slide myself upward and inside of her. In hushed breathes we work ourselves into a quiet motion—a mere rustling of the bed sheets. We make love slowly, quietly. The slow movement heightens my anticipation as I have to nearly bury my head into the pillow as I come. As she turns to face me I can see indentations in her bottom lip from where she had to bite down hard. We begin to kiss and I taste the slight salty iron flavor of blood.
“I had a hard time…” Claire whispers as she stifles a giggle.
“I did too…”
“We’re not so different… I think,” Claire whispers as she continues to kiss me.
“Not really at all… I don’t think we ever were.”
We rest in each other’s arms. It is times like these that make me forget all about the grander scheme—I do not know if that is for better or worse. After all, so much is at stake—but I imagine that I am allowed some comfort, some love, no matter how dire the situation. If we have love, no matter how we found it—we should be afforded the opportunity to enjoy it. I fall asleep comforted, in her arms. After all, she is my caretaker.
14. Evil
Robert wakes us up early. “Sorry guys—you should really get out of here. Lot of strange chatter going on,” he adds as he holds up his radio band-TV. “The riots, of course, haven’t stopped and I think shit is about to hit the fan.
Claire and I get out of bed. It is a cold morning. We get dressed and gather our gear. As we make our way down the staircase Robert is cooking up some soup.
“Thank you for letting us stay,” I say as I shake Robert’s hand.
“Thank you…” Claire repeats.
“You have a purpose—get it done, even if you don’t understand it.”
We begin to walk away… and then I pause. This doesn’t feel right. “Robert?”
“Yeah…?” He says as he turns to face me. He is still dressed in his military uniform.
“Come with us,” I ask. “We have food, more than enough food. We could use someone like you in case we run into any problems.” I add. I want him to feel as though he is needed and will not be a burden. Leaving him here with such little food and such little hope just seems wrong.
“I’m like the cowardly lion,” Robert says as he shrugs. “I don’t know how much use I’ll be…”
“Cowardly lion…?” Claire repeats.
“Before your time…” Robert says as he thinks for a moment. “A soldier has to have a mission, right?”
“Right,” I say confidently. “Besides you have a bad ass uniform and an assault rifle, and you’re huge—who is going to mess with us when you’re with us?”
Robert begins to nod as a wide grin spreads across his face. “Fuck yeah. Can I bring my soup?”
“Sure…”
Robert hurries off and picks up his large assault rifle. He grabs his small TV and a backpack and pours his soup into a large cup.
We walk out to the car—the air is crisp and cool. Everything seems calm. Claire climbs into the passenger seat. I pull back the chair and Robert squeezes into the back. There is plenty of room—however he is rather tall and large. He places his gun upon the floorboard and happily starts to drink his soup.
“This is a nice car,” Robert says between sips of warm soup.
“Saved my life more than a few times,” I add as I put it into drive and begin my way further west.
After navigating a maze of country roads, I meet back up with interstate 40 West. We make it exactly 83.3 miles… according to the GPS, when we hear a terrible roar—almost like a freight train. A flash of blinding white light fills my view forcing me off the road completely. The flash is gone just as quickly as it appeared.
“What the fuck was that,” Robert says as he looks behind us.
A shockwave follows that causes the car to rumble against the ground. It almost feels like an earthquake. Trees shake all around us and rocks rattle against the road.
“Estimated drive… dri… 129 hours at… this… 12 hours,” The female computer stutters.
Once things quiet down, I look over to Claire—she has her hands over hear ears. She looks terrified. I cautiously step out of the car; Robert quickly pushes the seat forward and emerges from the back.
“They did it…” Robert whispers as he falls to his knees. Tears begin to stream down his dark brown eyes. “They actually fucking did it.”
A large mushroom cloud looms upon the horizon. Up high on the mountain, smoke fills the air in huge clouds of dirty brown ash. We watch in awe, in terror, at the evil that has been unleashed by the government on its own people.
“It’s all gone,” Robert says as I attempt to get him back to his feet.
“We’ve got to keep going,” I say as I try and pull him up.
“They’ve killed everyone—just like that…”
“Get up soldier!” I shout, although I do not know where it comes from—perhaps a book I once read.
Robert slowly gets up to his feet as I lead him back into the
car. I help into the back and climb in. I place the car into drive and fly as fast as I possibly can. The map is gone—the computer is unresponsive.
Frustrated, I try one more time. “GPS…”
“Rebooting…”
Finally, everything comes back online.
“You are going a hundred and twenty miles per hour, it is suggested that you slow down to lower your chance of getting pulled over in this area.”
“For fuck sakes,” I whisper… mostly out of relief. I’d be lost without the map.
I slow down a little, just to be safe—I don’t want to wreck. I figure I’ve cleared quite a distance. I look back and see that Robert cannot take his eyes away from the cloud that is slowly disappearing into the distance.
“Robert…”
“What did you see?” Claire asks, her ands still covering her ears.
“Something terrible…” I say as I nod to Claire. “You can uncover your ears… we’re safe now.”
“Nowhere is safe… not if they are launching nuclear strikes on our own people…”
“Robert, calm down… please,” I add as I let out a sigh. I know things cannot get much worse—but dealing with two people in a state of anxiety would not exactly improve the situation at all. “We’ll fix this—we’ll… we have to make sure our story gets heard.”
“My home, everything I knew—just gone. Just like that. I planned on returning when things had settled down.”
“We don’t have a home either,” Claire says as she reaches over the seat and holds onto Robert’s large hand. “We can never go back. You’re like us now and that’s not so bad. It seems like it at first… but it’s not so bad.”
Robert looks back once more and slowly begins to nod. “I’d be dead. Thank you.”
“We’d all be dead if you hadn’t been listening in on the radio,” I say as I attempt to keep him calm and collected. “Because of you, the mission goes on.”
