“You can’t do that job.” She sat up straight, displacing Gertie’s head. “If you do that, you could get hurt. You could go back to jail if you do what I think you’re going to do. And where would that leave me?”
I gritted my teeth.
“I won’t go to jail, and I won’t get hurt.”
She sat forward.
“You don’t know that,” she snapped. “You’re so far from rational about this that you can’t see what everyone else does, and that’s that this is a bad idea. I mean, really, Evander, what are you thinking?”
What was I thinking?
“I’m thinking that if I don’t do this, that stupid motherfucker is going to be a thorn in my side for the rest of his life. I’ll have to deal with him doing his business at the end of my road, living with just a few acres separating him from me, and there wouldn’t be a goddamn thing I could do about it.”
“Your brother…”
I immediately shook my head.
“Not happening,” I immediately disagreed. “He’s not been there at all for me in a long time. I’m not bringing him in on this.”
She growled under her breath and looked away as angry tears started to form in her eyes.
“This is the worst idea—it’s not like you.”
“You don’t know it’s not like me.” I stood up and threw my hands in the air. “That’s the problem we have here. You don’t know me, Kennedy. You only know what you want to know.”
“What do you mean I don’t know you?” she hissed, standing up now, too. “I know you!”
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at her, trying not to think about how hot she looked when she was pissed.
“You don’t,” I countered.
She stalked toward me, finger raised and poked me in the chest at the same time she said, “I know that you love me.”
I snapped my mouth closed.
I did fucking love her.
I wouldn’t admit that, though.
Admitting it meant that she’d just have one more hurdle to jump over when this all turned south.
And I wasn’t lying to myself. This very well might turn south. I might end up back in jail after I did what I had to do. I might be fucking dead.
But there wasn’t a goddamn thing that was going to stop me from exacting this revenge. My heart couldn’t live with it, and if she really loved me, she wouldn’t ask me to.
Until this was all over, I wouldn’t say those words to her. I wouldn’t give her the false hope.
So I remained silent.
And broke her heart in the process.
It’s too bad that I didn’t realize that I was breaking her heart while I was doing it, though.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” I said, taking a seat on the bed and dragging my boots to me.
“You’re going tonight?” she asked in alarm.
I nodded, slipping my feet into the boots and standing up.
“Don’t do this, Evander,” she pleaded. “This isn’t a good idea. I have a bad feeling about this.”
I walked to her and hugged her, dropping a kiss on the top of her brow.
“I’ll be fine.”
Then I let her go.
“I love you, Evander.”
My heart swelled at her words, but I didn’t let them stop me from leaving.
But I really should have.
She looked just fine.
She looked like she was okay with me not saying it back to her.
As I got to the end of the sidewalk, though, I couldn’t stop myself from turning around and heading back up the stairs.
She looked so fuckin’ hopeful that my steps faltered.
“Gotta get Gertie,” I rumbled. “Gertie!”
Gertie was at the door moments later.
And as I turned to leave, I got a good look at her face.
I saw the moment it fell.
Saw the resignation and hurt there.
I promised myself that I’d make it up to her. I promised myself that I would tell her everything. Show her everything that was in my heart.
As soon as I got home.
But when I got home would be too late.
I just didn’t know it yet.
***
“Worst fuckin’ idea, ever,” Rafe grumbled, watching the house.
I watched it, too.
I’d done this a lot. Sat here, watching, waiting, hoping that Balthazar would come out so I could get my chance and grab the fucker.
But he never came out. I didn’t know if he knew I was out there. I also didn’t know if he would even care.
I’d done this before. I knew what I was about to do was stupid.
But then I got a phone call.
And what was said sent shock straight through me, right to my core.
“Hello?” I answered.
“You don’t happen to know why I have three goats and a dog tied up outside the police station with a note to me on it, do you?”
That was my brother.
“What?” I was confused.
“A dog. Three goats. Tied to my cruiser.”
My brows furrowed.
“What does the note say?” I asked distractedly.
I honestly didn’t know why I would care whether he had a dog and three goats tied to his cruiser.
“Got a note. From your woman.”
My heart froze.
Now I cared that he had a dog and three goats tied to his cruiser.
“How do you know it was my woman and why would she have anything to do with that?” I asked, sitting up straighter.
Not comfortable having this conversation in the car with Rafe, I pulled the door handle and bailed out of the truck, heading to the tailgate so I could lean against it.
“Because the note is signed ‘Kennedy’,” he drawled. “How else would I know they belonged to her?”
A sick feeling of dread hit me.
She wouldn’t leave…would she?
“What did the note say?”
“Nothing that I’ll be sharing with you,” he shot back. “Get here and get these goats. I live in a fucking subdivision. I won’t be able to do anything with them.”
Then he hung up, leaving me staring at the fence of my worst enemy.
Knowing that I wouldn’t be going in there today.
Not today and maybe not ever.
Not if it meant losing Kennedy.
Chapter 21
Consider this diem carped.
-T-shirt
Evander
I went to Kennedy’s house first.
It was an hour past dawn, and the only thing in the entire house making noise was the hum of the lights as they buzzed above me.
I was staring at the note, dread making its way through my gut.
The note that said only a few words. However, those words were enough to chill me straight to the bone.
Evander,
I’m tired of being second best.
I deserve to be someone’s first choice.
Thank you for giving me a few great weeks. I’ll remember and cherish them for the rest of my life.
Take care of my chickens.
And that was it. Not another damn word was said. It wasn’t even signed.
When I went to her closet, it was to see most of her clothes gone, some had fallen hastily to the floor. The kitchen was empty, her coffee cup still in the sink.
It was as if she’d left for a short weekend.
When I went outside, it was to find her truck still there.
I was supposed to look at it and hadn’t yet.
It’d died the day prior, again, and I hadn’t found time to look at it.
Her goats were gone, though, as well as her dog.
My eyes went to the chicken pen, and I realized another thing.
I didn’t know how to take care of chickens.
I’d seen her do it but was that
really all there was to it?
“She’s gone?”
I looked behind me to see that Rafe hadn’t left. He was still there, standing in the middle of the yard, waiting for me to make my decision.
Go back…or chase after Kennedy.
“She’s better off without me,” I said.
He snorted.
“I thought that about my sister once.” Rafe looked away. “What I thought was only going to be a few months turned into years. It took me months to get back into her good graces, and even now, months later, I’m still wondering if she only tolerates me because she knows that I miss her.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
He was right, though.
Kennedy may be better off without me, but at this point, I didn’t think I could live without her.
She’d wormed herself into my life, planted herself so deeply into my goddamn heart that I didn’t think I’d ever be man enough to let her live without me.
Why make it harder to get her back when I had the power to do it right now just by saying three words to her.
Three words that I felt. Deeply.
“Fuck,” I growled. “Let’s go.”
Rafe waved me off. “I’ll keep doing the recon.”
And that was that.
He waved me off and stepped back into the shadows, disappearing into the shadows like he had never been there in the first place, leaving me free to follow after my wayward woman.
I turned away from the yard and stared blankly at the wall.
The only question was, where did she go?
***
Four hours later, I found her on a bus halfway to El Paso—the bus’s destination.
The next hour was spent following behind the bus, waiting for it to stop. After sixty miles of it, I realized that it wasn’t going to stop—not any time soon.
So I did what any sane man would do.
I rode my motorcycle past the bus, cut over in front of it, and started hitting my brakes.
“Here’s to hoping you’re paying attention, motherfucker,” I growled, watching the bus in my rearview.
The bus didn’t slow at first.
I assumed he thought I was taking the exit, but when I didn’t, the bus started to slow.
The more I slowed, the more it slowed, until the bus driver decided to pass me.
When it went to whip over to the next lane, I followed in front of it.
This continued for another ten minutes as I pointed to the shoulder.
It was more than apparent that the bus didn’t want to stop.
And I could understand that.
I was a big guy, covered in tattoos, and riding a motorcycle.
I wouldn’t pull over for me either, but it was happening.
It didn’t matter if I had to do this all fucking day long.
I’d do it.
Kennedy wouldn’t get away from me.
It didn’t get to end like that, I’d decided.
After another ten miles of this back and forth shit with the driver, the bus finally pulled over and came to a stop.
Likely, they’d called the cops, too, so I tried to make it fast.
The moment it stopped only ten feet away from me, I got off my bike and walked up to the driver’s side window.
Hopefully approaching him this way wouldn’t freak him out too bad.
But I could tell by the wary look in his eyes that he was freaked.
Oops.
“You have my woman on your bus, and I want to give her a ride back home,” I said to the older man, likely in his early fifties.
“Why?” he asked suspiciously. “What if she doesn’t want to go with you?”
I shrugged. “Why don’t you ask her?”
The man pursed his lips.
“What’s her name?”
I rolled my eyes.
He knew who she was. She was sitting almost directly behind him, and I saw her head poke back and forth from behind her seat for the last ten minutes.
“Kennedy.”
“Kennedy who?”
I gritted my teeth. “Kennedy soon to be fuckin’ Lennox.”
“No, I will not!” she denied from two seats back, plastering her face against the glass window of the bus.
She was so close to the window that her nose was scrunched up, and it was causing her nostrils to open wide.
Her glare was ferocious.
I tried not to laugh.
“I can see your boogers.”
She immediately removed her nose from the window, then gave me the finger.
Then, to add insult to injury, she breathed over the window, fogging it up, and wrote, ‘Fuck yo’
She breathed on it again, and then wrote ‘u’ underneath it.
I snorted, and tried really, really hard not to burst out laughing like I wanted to.
Really, I did.
But the way she scrapped it once she realized how non-perfect it was, and started over, this time further from the side of the window, I just couldn’t help it.
I bellowed in laughter. It couldn’t be helped.
“Can’t you just run him over, Mr. Bus Driver?”
I looked over to the bus driver, who was trying not to laugh right along with me.
“I can’t, Ma’am,” he apologized. “And since you told me I couldn’t call the police, there’s really nothing we can do but sit here until he moves his bike.”
“You could back up?” Kennedy suggested.
The bus driver sighed. “I already thought about that, but he’s got more maneuverability with that monster bike of his.”
I looked over at my bike.
It wasn’t really a monster. It was more of a pretty girl—at least, in my opinion.
But whatever.
“Well, that’s just perfect,” she snarled. “Can you open the little hatches underneath so I can get my suitcase?”
I hid my grin and winked at the bus driver, who was standing up from his seat.
“Yes, Ma’am.”
I walked around the side of the bus and waited for her to get off.
The moment she did, she glared.
“How did you manage to get onto an empty bus?” I asked her, walking alongside her to the doors that were holding only a single suitcase.
“I don’t want to talk to you,” she snarled, turning her head away and crossing her arms over her chest while she tapped her foot impatiently.
I held my breath, then nodded my thanks to the driver when he wheeled her suitcase over to me.
“Have a good one, Ma’am,” the bus driver said as he made his way back to the bus. “Don’t do anything stupid, Son.”
I snorted.
“Already one step ahead of you. Now I just have to get her to accept my apology.”
“Like hell I’ll accept anything from you,” she snapped.
My eye twitched.
“Okay,” I said as I rolled the bag over to my bike, then looked at the huge bag and my bike uncertainly.
I hadn’t thought this part through really well.
I’d just gotten on the damn thing and took off in her direction the moment my brother confirmed that she’d been seen getting on a bus to El Paso.
Now, I was thinking that she might be mad at me when I told her that we’d have to leave some of the stuff behind.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she asked as I pushed the suitcase onto its side and started unzipping it.
“We’re gonna have to shove all this shit into the saddle bags,” I told her. “Why do you…”
I stopped when I saw my t-shirt right on top.
She caught my raised eyebrow and narrowed her eyes.
“You can leave that one on the side of the road,” she snarled.
I swear to Christ. This woman was my fuckin’ heart.
“Whatever,” I mumbled, setting it aside. I wouldn’t be leaving it, though.
<
br /> It was one of my favorite ones. I’d purchased it almost fifteen years ago when I went to see Journey in concert.
It was soft, threadbare, and fucking comfortable.
The next thing underneath my shirt was her purse, which I shoved inside the saddle bag.
The rest of her shit, which wasn’t very much, went into the other bag.
The only thing that was left was a box of tampons.
“You need this now?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No.”
Nodding, I tossed it back into the luggage, and then shoved the luggage further off the side of the road until it was nestled in between two trees.
“You can’t just leave that here!” she cried out. “That’s littering.”
I raised my brows at her.
“Yeah, but I have nowhere to go with it, and we need to the get the hell off the side of the highway before we get run the fuck over.”
Her eyes looked up one side of the highway and down the other.
It was long and straight, and not one single person had passed us the entire time we’d been pulled over.
“You’re so full of shit,” she countered. “Why are you even here?”
The venom in her voice gave me pause, then I came up like a tiger launching himself at dinner, and wrapped my arms around her before she could step away.
“I’m here because I love you,” I told her. “I wanted to finish what I’d started. I wanted an ending before I gave you a beginning. I wanted to make sure that what I had to offer you wasn’t tainted in that motherfucker’s bullshit and lies. But you didn’t wait, so I couldn’t either.”
Her mouth snapped shut so fast that I heard the click of her teeth.
“You’re lying.”
I laughed, tilting my head back and barking it at the clear blue sky.
When I finally gathered my composure, I looked back down at her, a wry smile on my face.
“How many men that don’t love you would drive four hours away, breaking their parole, to bring you back?”
She sniffed at me.
“I don’t really care.”
“You don’t care if I go back to jail?” I asked.
She nodded, looking away.
“Then why didn’t you let the driver call the cops when I was trying to get y’all to pull over?” I teased.
She shrugged.
“That was his idea,” she lied.
Bringing my hand up to her face, I cupped it and tilted her chin, forcing her to look at me.
Hail No (Hail Raisers Book 1) Page 16
