by Cooper West
“It means you weren’t in it for the thrill of it. That you did all this for me.”
“Of course I did!” Benjamin huffed out, because, why would he do otherwise? But then he looked at Frank’s expression and realized, maybe for him, it was not that clear-cut. Maybe he expected people like Teague and complete strangers and hell, even his own family, to use him for something. He knew that Frank’s father and sister loved him, that was powerfully clear, but he was still a piece on the board to be moved as they needed. “Of course I did,” he said again, softly, as he stepped closer, caging Frank up against the counter.
“Of course you did,” Frank agreed with a smile before kissing him.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
THEY STOOD there in the kitchen for a moment, Frank holding Benjamin’s face in his hands, kissing him. Benjamin clutched at his arms in his usual frantic way for a moment before slowing down and settling his hands on Frank’s waist. There was still a few inches between them, so while the kiss itself was wet and messy, things were rather chaste overall. Frank was fine with that, for the moment. It felt more like they were building a connection than chasing lust, and that was what he wanted. It was a chance to renew their battered feelings, or at least it was on Frank’s side. He suspected Benjamin had been hiding his hurt and fear, and respected him for it given the circumstances. But Frank had made his peace and made his choice, and he wanted Benjamin to know that. He flexed his fingers as he pulled away from the kiss, letting his thumbs rub gently over the corners of Benjamin’s kiss-swollen lips.
Benjamin closed his eyes. “Thank you.”
Frank finally dropped his hands, and they both shuffled a little farther apart. “The kiss was that good?”
“Yes. It was.” Benjamin did not rise to the joke, instead looking directly at Frank, his eyes dark and hooded. “I thought I’d never get to kiss you again. So yeah, that was an amazing kiss.”
Frank tipped his head. “There’s more where that came from.”
Benjamin slapped a hand over his face. “It’s a good thing you’re pretty because your pickup lines suck.” Then he reached out and grabbed Frank’s hand. “I haven’t, uh, changed the sheets since the last time you were here.”
Frank squinted at him in confusion. “You want to do laundry? Now?”
“No! No, for fuck’s sake, I was just… I mean, we might as well get them dirty. Again?” Benjamin tugged at his hand but didn’t move, and Frank could see the small nervous tick that gave away Benjamin’s insecurities. He leaned in and gave him a light kiss on the mouth. Benjamin looked a little stunned, as if kisses from Frank were some kind of benediction, so Frank headed for the bedroom and pulled Benjamin along behind him. They walked into the room, and Benjamin closed the door behind him, probably out of habit more than anything, then slipped out of his shoes. It was far more sedate than the time they had stumbled into bed just a couple of days before, the energy less frenetic… but also less exciting.
Frank felt that the moment was in his hands. Benjamin was letting him decide the pace as well as the intensity, possibly out of remorse but definitely out of hope. He stood in the middle of his bedroom and simply waited for Frank to make the next move, to let Frank take back the sense of control he had lost in the midst of all the scandals and lies and drama. He could see the uncertainty in Benjamin’s eyes, a counterpoint to the proud tilt of his chin.
Frank slipped off his own shoes before walking over and gently pushing at Benjamin’s chest until he walked backward into the bed. Frank gave him a little shove, and Benjamin took the hint, silently scrambling onto the bed and lying on his back. They stared at each other again for a long moment before Benjamin jerked his head to the side, looking away. “Not to be maudlin, but I thought I’d never see you in here again,” he said, waving a hand around before chewing on his bottom lip, still avoiding Frank’s gaze.
“Yeah.” Frank could not really think through a long explanation, so instead pulled Benjamin’s socks off, then crawled up on the bed to help him pull off his shirt. Methodically, Frank stripped Benjamin’s clothes off him, and soon enough, Benjamin was naked, his body stretched out on the bed, his cock plump but lying heavily against his thigh. Then he sat back on his heels and just looked.
“Uhm?” Benjamin cleared his throat, obviously uncomfortable under the scrutiny.
“I like what I see.” Frank shrugged, then slipped out of his own shirt. Benjamin’s eyes went from timid to hungry with a blink. “You really like the fuzzy look, huh?” Frank said, scratching at his hairy chest.
“Fuck, yeah.” Benjamin nodded, but he kept his hands down by his side.
Frank ran a hand all the way down Benjamin from his shoulder to his knee, causing him to shudder. “Frank—”
“Shhhh. This is for me.”
Benjamin nodded quickly. “For you. Whatever you want. I’m sorry—”
“Shhhh. I mean it. Be quiet.”
“It’s like you don’t even know me,” Benjamin huffed, and Frank had to chuckle at that.
Instead of arguing he managed to get his own pants off, and then they were naked together, again. This time, though, it felt that so much more was in the balance. Sex couldn’t fix everything, and Frank knew he would be battling his trust issues and his fear of commitment for a while yet, but he could have this. He could have Benjamin giving up anything and everything for him, willing to do whatever Frank asked for no other reason than it would make Frank happy, or protect him, or….
“What do you want?” Frank asked, shifting to straddle Benjamin’s knees, holding himself up just enough to keep too much skin from touching.
Benjamin let out a long breath and shook his head, for once clearly at a loss for words.
Frank leaned down, one hand on the mattress by Benjamin’s head. His dick swung freely, the tip grazing against the crease in Benjamin’s hip, causing him to gasp as Frank put his mouth against his ear. “I’m going to fuck you, hard. And you’re going to take it.”
Benjamin let out an honest-to-God squeak and nodded. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll… take it, okay.”
Frank huffed out a laugh before kissing him again, this time wet and messy, just the way he liked it, all tongue and power and heat. Benjamin opened for him, letting Frank in to own his mouth. His pushed his knees out, trying to splay his legs, but they were still caged in by Frank’s own. He pulled up out of the kiss, sitting up to move his knees to the inside of Benjamin’s thighs. Gently, he grabbed Benjamin’s knees and lifted him up a little so that his thighs rested over Frank’s, holding him up and open. Frank ran his hands down Benjamin’s legs, soft and slow, then continued the stroke down over his hips and belly.
Benjamin snorted. “Ignoring the good parts?”
“I’ll get to your dick. Patience.”
“Because I’m known for my patience. Right. Sure.” Benjamin rolled his eyes and threw his hands up over his head, probably in frustration, but the effect was to lay himself out completely under Frank’s touch, and he wasn’t going to waste that. He leaned forward again to grab both of Benjamin’s wrists with one hand, pressing them into the mattress. He wasn’t sure if it was that show of dominance or the fact that their cocks rubbed against each other that caused Benjamin to whine, but either way, Frank was pleased with it. He wanted Benjamin reacting, not thinking or planning or feeling guilty.
“There we go,” he whispered, peppering kisses over Benjamin’s cheek and down his neck. He took a moment to suck and nibble in one spot, sure to cause a blistering hickey later, but Benjamin squirmed and moaned in pleasure anyway, so Frank had no regrets. Marking Benjamin as his seemed the least he was owed.
He glanced up at Benjamin then, before letting his free hand roam down Benjamin’s body. “Supplies?”
“Oh fuck, yeah, um.” Benjamin jerked his chin toward the singular rickety and beat-up bedside table. It was a reach, but Frank managed to get the drawer open and pull out the half-full bottle of lube and a couple of condoms. He tossed the condoms aside for the moment but
wiggled the bottle in Benjamin’s face.
“What? It was on sale!”
Frank did not let go of his wrists, instead squeezed them before releasing them and using the hand to hold himself up. He rolled his eyes. “I’m otherwise occupied, Kaplan. Open the damn bottle.”
“Oh. Right.” Benjamin used his newly free hands and did as instructed. Soon enough, Frank’s slick fingers were probing into the dark recesses of Benjamin’s body. The man under him squirmed and groaned and bitched about the intrusion, but he was also starting to pant and jerk his hips, so Frank knew he was moving things in the right direction. The arm holding him up was sore and starting to shake, but Benjamin was tight around his fingers and so, so responsive that Frank lost himself in the pleasure of fingerfucking him for a while. Looking down, he saw that Benjamin’s cock was red and swollen and weeping as it strained up at an angle, almost but not quite touching Frank’s own cock, which was still swinging free. Benjamin’s body was in a constant state between tension and relaxation. It was a bit of stretch, holding himself up with one hand while opening Benjamin up with his other, but it kept Benjamin at his mercy, and that thought made Frank’s blood spike with pleasure and lust and possessiveness.
He kept pushing his fingers into Benjamin, making the other man grunt and his stomach muscles clinch as his hands scrabbled against the blanket. “Hey. Hey, put a condom on me.”
“You… ergh… want me to do all the work?” Benjamin’s eyes snapped open, but the hostility in his words was not in his eyes, which were blown with lust.
“I’m kinda busy.” Frank scissored his fingers hard, making Benjamin yell out in surprise.
“Okay! Fuck. Okay.” Benjamin’s hand flopped around but finally grabbed a condom, and it took him two tries to tear open the packet while Frank thrust his fingers into him hard and rapidly. Benjamin looked up at him with an inefficient glare, and Frank just grinned back down. The sensation of the condom being rolled onto him made Frank grimace—he looked forward to a time when it would not be necessary and then wallowed in the pleasure of knowing that they had that kind of time, which took a bit of the edge off. He looked down at Benjamin, who was actually looking unsure. “It’s… it’s okay if you want to stop.”
Benjamin gave him a lopsided grin and shook his head. “Don’t you dare stop. It’s been a while, but dammit—”
Frank finally let himself drop down to rest on his elbow and kissed Benjamin, putting all of his thoughts and fears and hopes into the kiss. Benjamin wrapped his arms up over Frank’s back and dragged him down a little. Frank pulled his fingers out but quickly grabbed his dick and lined himself up. “Fuck, Ben… I’ve really wanted you like this. The thought I’d never get to have you… that you never really wanted me—”
“I always wanted you, asshole. Since the day I met you, okay? Because you are a jerk and you’re smart and you… you, fuck, you wanted me, and I didn’t know what to do with that, and I could not let you go and—”
“Shut up and let me fuck you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Benjamin sucked in a huge breath and let it out as Frank slid in. It was possible that they should have probably dragged the foreplay out, but Frank was done, just done, and he wanted to be inside Benjamin. He wanted to put everything he had into marking him inside and out as taken and mine and claimed. It was a primal, brutal urge, and Frank let it overpower him as he bottomed out, pausing for just a moment before pulling out to slam back in. Benjamin yelled outright, his back arching up and his arms spasming as they clutched around Frank’s back. He leaned forward again and put his mouth to Benjamin’s ear.
“I don’t care. I don’t care who you’ve been with, or let fuck you, or who fucked me, or who sucked me off. It’s just us. Us. No one else. You’re mine and dammit, I’m yours, all yours. Please don’t ever throw me away, because all I want is you,” he mumbled as he thrust into Benjamin, his hips a steady, hard rocking. He grabbed Benjamin’s cock and stroked it swiftly, a counterpoint to the snap of his hips.
“Never, never. Promise. Oh fuck. Dammit. Frank, I’m… I’m gonna… only you, okay? Only you!” Benjamin bit out the last in a shout as he came, his come splattering over his stomach muscles as his body clenched up in release.
“Yeah. Baby, yeah, okay. Just let me.” Frank could not even finish his thoughts, bowing his head to rest his forehead on Benjamin’s shoulder. He could smell them, the tang of sex and the salt of sweat as his body gave over to the need. His orgasm exploded through him, all at once, his brain whiting out as his hips jerked without rhythm and slammed hard three times before clutching up, frozen, as he spilled into the condom.
“Oh. Wow.” Benjamin breathed out the words as Frank shuddered through the aftershocks.
“Yeah,” he whispered, holding himself still, too sensitive to pull out, too scared to move.
“We’re good, you know that, right? I’m never letting you go. Ever.” Benjamin rubbed his hands up and down over Frank’s back. “Not like… I mean, you know, I’m keeping you.”
It was odd, coming down from a climax so sharp and intense, to realize for the first time how much Paulie had hurt him. How much of a betrayal their relationship had been, almost from the start. He shook his head, warding off tears. “I know. You aren’t like him. You… you’re better.”
He expected a snarky reply, something they could laugh at together, but Benjamin just sighed. “I’ll try to be. Always. For you.”
They both unwound at that, laying out and shifting slowly until Benjamin was wrapped around Frank as the big spoon, holding him close. Frank relaxed, his body sore and his heart aching but hopeful, and he let himself drift off to sleep as Benjamin mumbled something about aerodynamics into his ear.
Frank woke up a little later, flat on his back but feeling loose and relaxed. Benjamin was curled up against him, looking younger in sleep, his head flopped over Frank’s arm in what had to be an uncomfortable position. Frank extracted his arm slowly and shifted Benjamin around until he was on his side, clutching a pillow and mumbling. Frank did not even bother trying not to smile, instead taking a moment to bask in how adorable Benjamin was right then, all fucked out, pliant, and trusting.
Sighing, he got up and pulled on his slacks. Their little nap had refreshed him, but he was ravenous, so he slunk into the kitchen, where he came face-to-face with Rachel.
They stared at each other. She was folding up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at the table. Frank had a terrible vision of her sitting in the kitchen while he and Benjamin were loudly screwing around—oh, so loudly.
She smirked at him, obviously reading his mind. “Don’t worry, I just got home a few minutes ago.”
“Okay.” He continued to stand there, not sure of the etiquette.
“Sit. Make a sandwich. Sounds like it’s been a stressful day. You need to eat.” She pushed the loaf of bread in his direction.
“True enough,” he allowed, sitting down and making his own sandwich.
“You don’t use enough jelly,” she commented, critical and judgmental.
“I use just enough jelly, and no more,” he said before taking a huge bite.
She rolled her eyes, and in that moment, she looked like a mirror image of her older brother. Frank chewed for second, looking her over. “How are you doing?”
She shrugged. “No one wants to talk to me, so it was easy to make an end run around the press. Only two vans outside. I think they are waiting for you to leave in a rage or something.”
“They’re going to have to wait a long time,” Frank said and took another bite.
“So you two are back on, now?” She finished her sandwich and put both elbows on the table, chin in hand.
“I’m not completely sure we were ever off. But yes, we’re on.”
“Figured.” She nodded at him and stood up. “I listened to that recording. You are one stone-cold son of a bitch.”
He lowered his sandwich. “Is that a good thing?”
“That evil bastard used you, and you g
ot him to admit it to your face.” She shrugged again. “More than I ever got. So, I respect that, and I respect you.” She stood up and leaned over the table. “You have my blessing. But if you ever hurt my brother, there will be no place you can hide. Got it?”
He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Rachel!” Benjamin shrieked from the doorway, pointing at her. “I told you to stay at Maddox’s!”
She rolled her eyes so hard that Frank thought she might pull a muscle if she wasn’t careful. “It’s my home too; I can come here whenever I want! And before you ask, no, I did not drive. Maddox had to go take a shift at the restaurant, so he dropped me off here on the way. I don’t have to be at the salon until tomorrow morning anyway.”
“Damn, what time is it?” Benjamin said, half stumbling to the table and making grabby hands at the peanut butter.
“Seven.” Rachel went over to the fridge and pulled out a soda. “I’m going to go take a shower and then hide in my room with my headphones on, because I will never be old enough to hear that shit. Try not to make too much noise. See you in the morning.”
Benjamin was still sputtering out incoherent denials as Rachel sauntered out, radiating satisfaction. Frank watched her go in admiration. “She’s a menace.”
“Oh no, don’t you start.” Benjamin waved the peanut butter knife at him.
“I’m used to the type,” Frank said, smiling. He held up the last of his sandwich. “You really know how to wine and dine a guy.”
Benjamin glanced at him, then put down his sandwich makings, spreading his arms wide. “You see before you the Kaplan Empire, in all its glory. If you deem it unworthy, you may choose to leave.” The slight hesitation at the end betrayed his nervousness.
Frank reached out and grabbed his hand. “Relax. I’m staying. Tonight, and for a long time, I hope.” He stopped short of specifying how long he had in mind, wary of scaring Benjamin off so quickly after all the drama from earlier. He figured it gave him time to plan, anyway. “I’m staying,” he repeated softly, rubbing his thumb over Benjamin’s knuckles.
