“I just knew there was going to be a however,” Molly said to me. “Didn’t you just know there was going to be a however?”
“The engine has never been properly tested,” said the Armourer. “Most of us aren’t even sure it will work. It was only ever activated once; and after what happened on the trial run . . .”
“Did you build this engine?” said Molly.
No! No . . . that was the Armourer before me. Your great-uncle Francis, Eddie. Grandfather Arthur’s younger brother. A brilliant mind, but I think he must have been dropped on his head as a baby. Repeatedly. Francis Drood was an excellent designer and weapons maker, no doubt about it. But unfortunately, he was what these days we would call an extreme lateral thinker. . . . Or completely off his bloody head, as we said at the time. He produced a lot of really useful equipment, which field agents still use today; and he designed three of the forbidden weapons locked away in the Armageddon Codex. Weapons so powerful and potentially destructive that we’ve never dared use them. Simply reading the instruction manual is enough to bring you out in a cold sweat. . . . I’ll say this for the man: He never had any problems thinking big. Thinking rationally and responsibly, yes, major problems there . . .
He created Alpha Red Alpha after the Chinese tried to nuke the Hall back in 1964. Bit of an overreaction, I always thought. . . . Anyway, Francis talked the then Matriarch into setting the engine up for a trial run. We moved most of the family out into the grounds, just in case. . . . We were all very interested to see what would happen, but preferably from a safe distance. Your uncle James came home specially from East Germany, I came back from Nepal and your parents came back from Peru. Then the Matriarch asked for volunteers from among the field agents to accompany and protect the Hall wherever it went, just in case. We tended to use those three words quite a lot, whenever Francis was involved. . . . So the four of us, and four more, volunteered, and we were all there inside the Hall when Francis fired up Alpha Red Alpha for the first time. We had no idea where we were going, where we’d end up. All Francis had was a whole bunch of mathematics that made sense only to him, and assurance that his engine would most definitely send the Hall away. . . .
At first, everything seemed to go fine. The actual transition was a bit . . . disturbing when the Hall dropped out of the world, but it did very definitely reappear Somewhere Else. Not an alternate Earth, or even another reality, but an entirely alien world. Once we came up from the basement and looked out the front windows, the first thing we saw was two suns, blazing impossibly bright in a sick green sky, and when we opened the front door, the air was so packed with excess oxygen and really nasty trace gases that we couldn’t breathe it. We had to armour up to survive in the strange new world that Francis’s engine had brought us to. We’d been dropped right into the middle of an alien jungle full of plants and animals and . . . creatures we’d never seen before. Some of them so different and disturbing they hurt your head to look at them. Everything was wrong . . . a living nightmare packed with horrible things everywhere we looked.
And while we were still getting our heads round that, the whole jungle rose up at once and attacked us. Not only the awful things that lived in the jungle, but the plants themselves. Raging, thrashing, whipping long tendrils at us . . . Everything was alive and angry and utterly antagonistic. Thousands of creatures hit the Hall at once, from every direction, smashing through the windows, hammering against the closed doors, rising up to try to break in through the roof. We fought them off as best we could, sending Francis back down to fire up the engine and get us all home again. It couldn’t have taken him long, but it seemed to take forever. It was like fighting in a nightmare against horrible things that keep coming at you, no matter how hard you fight. I saw young Alice fall with a hundred thorns blasted through her armour. I saw Oliver pulled down and ripped apart by thrashing plants that crawled all him, his armour no more protection than tinfoil. I saw plants eat them both, and drink their blood.
I still have nightmares sometimes. . . .
“But finally Alpha Red Alpha kicked in again and we came home. The Hall was a mess: battered and broken and infested with all kinds of alien life-forms that had forced their way in. Luckily they couldn’t live in our air, so we stood well back and watched them die. They didn’t understand what was happening to them, but they still tried to kill the few Droods who tried to help. There’re always a few who do the ‘if only we can communicate with them’ thing. . . . I would have taken a flamethrower to the lot of them. We waited till we were sure everything was dead, and then Droods in their armour dragged them all out of the Hall, chopped them up fine, to make sure, burned them in great piles and then buried what was left in a far corner of the grounds. To this day nothing else will grow there.
“It took weeks to reopen the Hall. And fumigate it, because some of the little bastards had left spores to be breathed in by the unsuspecting. . . . After the Matriarch got a good look at what had come back with us, and listened to our story, she told Francis to his face that he was never to use the engine again until he could be sure of where he was sending the Hall. And that Alpha Red Alpha was only ever to be used as a very last resort, after we’d tried everything else, including prayer and closing our eyes and hoping it would all go away. Francis spent the rest of his life, as Armourer and after, in retirement, trying to figure out how to control what he’d created, but he never did. The family buried the engine deep under the Hall, called it Francis’s Folly and wiped it from the official records.
“For everyone’s peace of mind.”
“But,” I said, “could it get us into the Timeless Moment?”
“Somehow I knew you were going to say that,” said the Armourer. “I tell you the most cautionary story I know that doesn’t involve sex, and it didn’t even slow you down. Technically, yes, I suppose it’s possible. But . . . all I could do would be to turn the bloody thing on. And hopefully off again. I have absolutely no idea of how to steer the damned thing, and neither does anyone else.”
“But I can help with that!” said Molly. “My link with Isabella will point us in the right direction. . . .”
“And I can focus that link through the Merlin Glass to take us where we need to go!” I said. “You start the engine up, Uncle Jack; Molly will aim it, and I will steer it. Right into the Timeless Moment.”
The Armourer smiled suddenly. “You know, it’s a crazy idea, but it just might work!”
I looked at Molly. “It always sounds so much worse when he says it.”
The Armourer looked at Molly. “If all you Metcalf sisters are linked to one another . . . does that mean the dreaded Louisa knows what’s happening?”
“Almost certainly,” said Molly. “But don’t worry; it’ll take even her a long time to get back from Mars.”
The Armourer’s face twitched. “I’m not even going to ask what she’s doing on Mars.”
“Best not to,” I said. “Now, where is Alpha Red Alpha, exactly? You said you buried it under the Hall?”
The Armourer’s mouth winced, as though he’d tasted something bitter. “I had hoped I’d never have to go down there again. Or at the very least, that I’d be very old and safely retired before some other poor bastard had to do it . . . Come with me.”
He got up out of his chair with a certain amount of effort and the usual pained noises, and led Molly and me to the very back of the Armoury, out beyond the firing range and the corrupt-spell dumps. Three lab assistants were standing around the sparkling watercooler, commenting excitedly on the miniature mermaid they’d dropped into it. The Armourer drove them back to their workstations with barked commands and harsh language. He finally stopped before a large, hulking piece of machinery of no immediate significance. It didn’t even have a nameplate.
“Armour up, Eddie,” said the Armourer. “I need you to move this machine two feet to the left. My left, not yours. And be careful. It’s heavier than it looks.”
“What is it?” I asked after I’d armoured up. Mol
ly was already poking and prodding and kicking at the machine’s solid steel sides in an experimental sort of way.
“It was supposed to be a food synthesiser,” said the Armourer. “The idea was all the rage back in the seventies. And it would have helped to take the strain off feeding a family of our size. But we never could get it to work right. Francis tried, I tried, and now and again one of the more than usually ambitious lab assistants will take a crack at it, but even though the theory works out to a thousand decimal places . . . no matter what settings we try, all the machine ever produces is a kind of glowing green porridge that looks bad and smells worse.”
“What did it taste like?” said Molly, ever the practical one.
“We never found out, because if you got too close to the stuff, it ate you,” said the Armourer. “And once we had the stuff, we couldn’t get rid of it. We tried everything, including fire and acid and beating it with sticks, but it was a stubborn little organism. . . . In the end, we teleported every last bit of it to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Where for all I know it still is, crawling across the ocean floor and scaring the crap out of the giant squids that live down there.” He paused for a moment. “The numbers do seem to be dropping off of late. . . .”
“Then . . . why haven’t you destroyed the machine?” I said.
“Oh, really, Eddie, you should know the answer to that. Because someday the family might have a need for really vicious green porridge that eats people,” the Armourer said. “The family never wastes anything. And the machine does serve a useful purpose in itself, as you’ll discover when you stop arguing and move the bloody thing two feet to the left. My left, not yours.”
I put my golden shoulder to the huge machine and applied a steady pressure. The machine didn’t budge an inch. I settled myself, dug my feet in and threw the whole of the armour’s strength against the damned thing. For a long moment nothing happened, except that the steel section under my shoulder began to buckle from the pressure; and then the machine jerked a few inches to the left. Reluctantly, and fighting me all the way, the stubborn machine moved two feet to the left, revealing a solid wooden trapdoor in the rough stone floor. I stood up slowly, stretching my aching back, while Molly crouched down to take a good look at the trapdoor.
“I’m not sensing any protections or defences,” she said.
“Of course not,” said the Armourer. “They would only have drawn attention. And besides, if we ever do need to get to the engine we’ll probably need to do it in a hurry.”
He knelt down beside the trapdoor, his knees complaining loudly. He picked up a solid steel padlock and hefted it in his hand for a moment before concentrating and armouring up his left hand. He then extended a complex golden key from his index finger and inserted it carefully into the padlock. The key turned easily, and the padlock opened. The Armourer removed the padlock, placed it carefully to one side and retracted the golden key into his fingertip. Then he hauled the heavy trapdoor open, the great wooden slab swinging back easily and silently, as though its massive brass hinges had been oiled only the day before. We all stared down into the dark hole in the floor.
All I could see was darkness, and the first few rungs of an iron ladder heading down into it. Even the overbright lighting of the Armoury couldn’t penetrate the darkness more than a few inches. I studied the opening through my armoured mask, using infrared and ultraviolet, and finally my Sight, and none of it helped. The darkness remained absolute, holding secrets within. I checked for electromagnetic radiation, and half a dozen other warning signs, but still, nothing. My armour couldn’t detect a single thing about what was down there. Which should have been impossible.
“I know the details of the key,” the Armourer said quietly. “So does the Sarjeant-at-Arms. No one else. Not even the Matriarch knew how to access Alpha Red Alpha, by her own command. It’s too dangerous. Eddie, you’re always complaining the family keeps secrets from you . . . this should cure you of that. Follow me down the ladder. Mind your step, don’t crowd me and when we get to the bottom don’t wander off and don’t touch anything.”
He went down the iron steps with an ease and agility that belied his years. The show-off. I followed him down more cautiously, and Molly brought up the rear, sticking so close to me she practically trod on my fingers. The trapdoor slammed shut over us the moment we were all inside. I was still in my armour. I have a tendency to do that when descending into complete darkness containing unknown threats. The steps seemed to fall and fall away below me, going down and down until my leg and back muscles began to cramp from the strain. The only sounds were the clanging of our feet on the iron steps, and the Armourer’s loud breathing below.
“It’s all right!” he yelled back up cheerfully. “The trapdoor’s supposed to do that! Safety feature. Not so much to keep lab assistants out as to keep anything here from coming up into the Hall.”
“Like what?” Molly said immediately.
“No idea,” said the Armourer. “But it’s best not to take chances.”
After enough descending that I was getting really fed up with it, I finally reached the end of the ladder, and my armoured feet found a rough stone floor. I stepped away from the ladder to get out of Molly’s way, and lights suddenly flared up, dazzling me for a moment. My mask quickly compensated for the glare, and I looked round a massive stone cavern stretching away in all directions. My first impression was that the cavern had to be bigger than the Hall itself, but that couldn’t be right, or the Hall would have collapsed into it long ago. Even so, it was really big. . . . The stone walls were covered with line after line of carefully delineated mathematical symbols, none of which meant anything to me. I looked at Molly, and she shrugged.
“Mathemagics,” the Armourer said cheerfully. “Designer theory, only supercharged. Don’t look at them too long, or your eyes will start to bleed.”
He had more to say on the subject, but I wasn’t listening. I was looking at what the huge cave contained, packing it from wall to wall and from floor to ceiling, with only narrow walkways between: strange machines and intricate technology, and weird objects that might have been really high-tech or particularly worrying examples of abstract art. No flashing lights, no obvious control panels; often one piece would seem to slide or evolve into the next. Some parts were actually blurred or indistinct, as though my eyes couldn’t properly understand what they were seeing. Mile upon mile of colour-coded cables stretched back and forth across the cavern, linking everything together, and hung in a complicated web between the upper heights and the ceiling. I moved slowly forward into what I reluctantly recognised as one big machine. It was like walking through a technological jungle. Molly stuck close by my side. The Armourer was, of course, already ahead of us, bumbling along with his hands in his coat pockets, muttering happily to himself.
Things were constantly moving, rising and falling, or turning this way and that. Other parts leaned and slumped and sort of merged into one another. Some were slowly changing shape, as though unable to settle, humming loudly to themselves in an important sort of way. There were even things that seemed to be watching me thoughtfully. I couldn’t make sense of any of it. Except that for a machine that hadn’t been used in years, an awful lot of it seemed to be very busy. . . . All I knew for sure was that being down here creeped the hell out of me. It didn’t feel like a place where people should be, where anything as limited and fragile as people had any business being.
All my instincts were yelling at me to get the hell out while I still could, or at the very least give the machine a good kicking to make sure it knew its place.
“Armour down, Eddie,” the Armourer said quietly. “We don’t want to start anything.”
I did so, reluctantly. The first thing that hit me was how warm the cavern was, almost uncomfortably hot and humid. There was bristling static in the air, which smelt of iron filings and something burning. Molly slipped her arm through mine, and I patted her hand absently.
“Try not to be so impressed,”
the Armourer said dryly. “It’s only a machine. All right, there’s a lot here I don’t understand as yet, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be useful to the family. Your great-uncle Francis was a brilliant man, Eddie, and only occasionally seriously disturbed. Yes . . . I can handle this. Turn it on. And off. Everything else should run itself, I think.”
“Given how seriously wrong your first little trip went,” said Molly, “why keep this around? I know something really potentially dangerous when I see it, and I’m looking at it right now.”
“Because Francis always had a reason for everything he did,” the Armourer said patiently. “Not always an obvious reason . . . Alpha Red Alpha was never intended to be just a bolt-hole for us to hide in; he had all sorts of ideas for it. He wrote them down in his workbooks, and one day we’re going to break that code, and then, my word, we’ll know a thing or two. No, Molly, Droods never throw anything away that might be useful someday. And this would appear to be Alpha Red Alpha’s day. I do see what you mean, though. To be honest, being down here after all these years is disturbing the piss out of me.”
He came to a sudden halt before one huge machine as big as a house, rising all the way up to the high ceiling. It was like a plunging waterfall frozen into solid crystal, with glowing wires running through it like multicoloured veins, etched with row upon row of strange symbols and studded with pieces of clearly alien-derived technology. It all surrounded a massive hourglass some twenty feet tall, fashioned from solid silver and glass so perfect you could barely see it was there. The top section of the hourglass was full of shimmering golden sand, all of it in place, with not one golden mote falling down into the chamber below.
For Heaven's Eyes Only sh-5 Page 36
