by W. W. Jacobs
like mad. Then I see that I 'ad gorn to numbertwelve instead of number fourteen. Your wife, your real wife, came outof number fourteen--and she was worse than the other. But they boththought it was you--there's no doubt of that. They chased me all theway up the road, and if it 'adn't ha' been for this cab that was justpassing I don't know wot would 'ave 'appened to me."
He shook his 'ead and smiled agin, and, arter opening the wicket atrifle and telling the cabman he shouldn't be long, he turned to me andasked me for the sixpence, to wear on his watch-chain.
"Sixpence!" I ses. "SIXPENCE!" Wot do you think is going to 'appen tome when I go 'ome?"
"Oh, I 'adn't thought o' that," he ses. "Yes, o' course."
"Wot about my wife's jealousy?" I ses. "Wot about the other, and her'usband, a cooper as big as a 'ouse?"
"Well, well," he ses, "one can't think of everything. It'll be all thesame a hundred years hence."
"Look 'ere," I ses, taking 'is shoulder in a grip of iron. "You comeback with me now in that cab and explain. D'ye see? That's wot you'vegot to do."
"All right," he ses; "certainly. Is--is the husband bad-tempered?"
"You'll see," I ses; "but that's your business. Come along."
"With pleasure," he ses, 'elping me in. "'Arf a mo' while I tell thecabby where to drive to."
He went to the back o' the cab, and afore I knew wot had 'appened the'orse had got a flick over the head with the whip and was going along ata gallop. I kept putting the little flap up and telling the cabby tostop, but he didn't take the slightest notice. Arter I'd done it threetimes he kept it down so as I couldn't open it.
There was a crowd round my door when the cab drove up, and in the middleof it was my missis, the woman next door, and 'er husband, wot 'ad justcome 'ome. 'Arf a dozen of 'em helped me out, and afore I could say aword the cabman drove off and left me there.
I dream of it now sometimes: standing there explaining and explaining,until, just as I feel I can't bear it any longer, two policemen come upand 'elp me indoors. If they had 'elped my missis outside it would be aeasier dream to have.
