by Georgia Hill
Jan had chosen wisely again. He and Julia were to dance the American smooth, which meant that Julia could safely rely on him to lead her. There was a tricky moment when she was out of hold but Jan had choreographed most of the dance so that he could control her every move. She needed it; she was still finding it incredibly difficult. She could now master the steps but when it came to adding in all the other details like her head hold or her arm shape, then it all went wrong. And then Jan dropped his bomb shell.
“We will do lift!” he declared and proceeded to show her.
“He wants to lift me up and swing me round then hold me on his shoulder!” she bleated a little desperately, to Harri as they shared a pizza after Thursday’s rehearsal. “And he goes and tries to put it into the routine today. We’ve only got two more days to practise!”
“Seriously?” Harri raised his eyebrows in shock. “Well, don’t do it unless you feel confident enough. He’s a tall bloke.”
“Tell me about it. He got me up there for the first time this morning and it’s like being hoisted onboard a giraffe!”
“How tall is he?”
“I don’t know. Six three, six four? Whatever, it feels bloody scary, I can tell you.”
“Well, don’t worry. He’s one of the world’s best dancers; He’s not going to drop you.” Harri smiled at her comfortingly.
“He’d better not! I’d break my neck. Are they paying us danger money for this?”
Harri laughed and took another slice of pepperoni, holding the stringy cheese up to his mouth.
Julia watched him as he ate and something warm inside her unfurled. He was nice she thought. Easy company, a great sense of humour and - nice. She relaxed a little and looked around her.
The restaurant they’d ended up in was buzzing with office workers getting early into the Christmas spirit. To their immediate left was a party of twelve, bedecked in ribbons of tinsel and paper hats and looking red-cheeked with high spirits. A soundtrack of cheesy Christmas hits played in the background. London was well and truly gearing itself up for the festive season.
“I’ve never been so hungry,” Harri said through a mouthful, as Slade’s Merry Xmas Everybody blasted out. “I’m eating like a horse and I’ve lost half a stone already!”
Julia looked at him, at his broad shoulders and well shaped arms with their subtle muscles. “You don’t look as if you need to lose any.”
“I don’t, that’s the problem. Eva’s a bloody tyrant. She’s got me rehearsing five or six hours at a time.” He flexed an impressive bicep and grinned. “Mind, I’ve never been in better shape. Reckon I’m about as fit as I’ve ever been. What about you?”
“Well, I tried to get fitter before all this started and I certainly needed to lose some weight.” Julia picked at a cheesy crust and nibbled.
“No, you didn’t,” Harri interrupted. “I like my women with a bit of flesh on them. Can’t stand Eva’s skinny bits.” He shuddered visibly.
Julia preened a little; she quite liked the idea of being one of Harri’s women. “No, I really needed to lose some. I wasn’t getting any parts.” She looked up at him to see he was watching her closely. “Mine’s a cruel profession. No room for the fatties.”
Harri put his hand on hers. It was slightly greasy from his pizza but she didn’t mind. His dark eyes burned into hers but all he said was, “You’ll do.”
As compliments went, it wasn’t the most effusive Julia had ever received but the warm glow inside her spread and she blushed hotly.
“So, what’s next for you?” Harri picked up his tumbler of water and emptied it in one swallow.
He was a man of hearty appetites Julia thought and, watching him, the question of what he’d be like in bed pinged into her head. Blushing yet more, she tried to concentrate on her answer. “There are - erm - one or two things in the pipeline,” she said carefully.
“Things that bad, eh?”
From anyone else the comment would have grated but Harri’s cheerful sympathy just made her feel better. She nodded. “That bad.”
“I loved you in Still Life.”
Julia smiled. “It was a great production, a great team. But the run was cut short. No money left. And no angel stepped in.”
For a minute Harri thought she was talking literally and then realised what she meant. “Oh, you mean a backer. So, have you really got nothing lined up then?”
“There’s a possibility … but it’s only a slight possibility so I’d like you to keep it under your hat at the moment, that I might get Cabaret.”
Harri sat up, his eyes shone as a grin spread over his face. “Sally Bowles? At the Endcott?”
“Maybe.” She saw his grin widen. He had a lovely smile, she thought, it lit up his entire face and then reached his eyes so that they almost disappeared. Such a charming man. She shook out any carnal thoughts which persisted in pre-occupying her, and got back to the more mundane subject of her career. “They saw I was going to be in this and mentioned they might audition me.”
“So you’ve got a lot riding on Who Dares Dances then?”
Julia shrugged. “Yes, I suppose so.” She finished her glass of wine, she shouldn’t drink midweek really, it stopped her from sleeping but she really needed to unwind after the latest session with Jan.
“Another?” Harri asked and, at her nod, summoned the waitress. “A house red and I’ll have a Becks please,” he said when the girl came over.
“Are you, are you Harri Morgan?” The girl, a younger waitress than the one who had served their meal, gasped and pushed back her felt reindeer antlers. “Oh my God, oh my God! I can’t believe it. Is it really you?”
“I was the last time I looked,” Harri said cheerfully.
“Could I … would you mind, could I have your autograph? I love Red Pepper. Oh I know I’m too old for it,” she chattered on as Harri took note of her tinselled name badge and signed a paper napkin for her, “but my younger sister got me into it and now I always watch it when I’m on lates.” She giggled and blushed bright red.
Julia smiled to herself, and thought the attraction of the programme probably wasn’t just how to learn to use sticky backed plastic.
“There you go then,” Harri handed over the serviette. “Would you like me to do one for your sister too?”
“Oh, would you? Thank you!”
Harri reached for another napkin. “What’s her name?”
“Debs,” the waitress squealed. “Wait ‘til I tell her who’s been in!” She turned to Julia: “Course, we get loads of celebs in here, it being so near the TV studios and everything but Harri’s the only one whose autograph I’ve wanted.” She did a double take and looked at Julia more closely. “Oh hell, you’re, you’re -”
“Julia Cooper,” Julia supplied.
The waitress looked from one to the other. “You’re both doing Who Dares Dances aren’t you?”
“That’s right.” Harri, his voice even and controlled, handed over the other serviette. “And that would be a Becks and a glass of house red please, Abi.”
The waitress took another long look at both of them and Julia wondered what was going through her mind. Then she took the hint, nodded and went off to get their drinks.
Julia giggled slightly. This sort of fame was new to her. Apart from a few hardy souls who waited at the stage door for her, she could get through ordinary life unencumbered by such encounters. She was intrigued by how Harri had handled it. “Does that happen often to you?”
Harri raised his dark eyebrows and grimaced. “Not too much when I’m not expecting it, like tonight. It’s different if you’re visiting somewhere, a school or a lifeboat station. Then you get yourself geared up for it.”
“Do you mind?”
He frowned. “No, comes with the territory, doesn’t it? It doesn’t get to me unless they get a bit over the top. One night a girl sat down at the table with us. Wouldn’t have minded but it was a family meal out for my mam’s birthday, see.” He winced. “Not the most tactful thi
ng to do.”
Julia laughed in sympathy and agreed. She lapsed into silence as Abi returned and, with infinite care, served their drinks and left. Then she asked him “So what’s in this for you? Who Dares Dances, I mean.”
Harri glanced at her over the rim of his bottle, took a long gulp, considered her question and finally answered. “What do children’s TV presenters do when they’re too old to jump out of helicopters and make pencil pots out of loo rolls?”
Julia giggled again. “I don’t know.”
“God, they end up presenting naff ghost hunting shows or sail around the Med on their yacht or disappear onto a digital radio station.”
“And none of that is for you?”
Harri shook his head. “No,” he said. “I know what I don’t want but I’m thirty two next year, I’m getting a bit past it for kids’ TV. So what do I do next?”
Julia shrugged.
“Exactly. What I’m hoping for is that I’ll get some kind of offer come in, something to broaden my career, something exciting. And,” at this he grinned again, “at least I’ll have the satisfaction of learning a brand new skill and raising some money at the same time.”
“Ah yes, the money, somehow we all forget that don’t we.” Julia grinned back at him and raised her glass. “To the charity Pennies for Pencils, then. May it prosper from our bumps, humiliations and bruises!”
Harri laughed out loud and clinked his beer bottle against her glass. “To Pennies for Pencils!”
Their quick meal over, they left the Christmas revellers to it and wandered out into the icy night. It had become chilly over the last few days and now the air sparkled with their frosty breath. Julia hugged herself; she loved this time of year. There was something truly magical about it, despite the cheap tinsel and clichéd pop songs.
Harri raised his hand and, almost immediately, a taxi did a neat U-turn and drew up at the kerb. He looked down at Julia, the flashing Christmas lights from the restaurant turning his face alternatively red then white. It made reading his expression difficult.
“Goodnight then, Julia, cariad.” He seemed awkward suddenly.
“Night night, Harri.” She reached up and kissed his slightly stubbly and very warm cheek. As she did so, he moved and his mouth came to within a whisper of touching hers. But, too soon, it was gone. A cold space replaced the fuzzy feeling Julia had enjoyed all evening.
“See you tomorrow then, Harri,” she called, disappointed that he hadn’t kissed her properly. She got into the cab and looked back for him but he’d already disappeared into the neon coloured night.
Step Five.
Julia allowed herself to be led to her mark to receive the verdict from the judges. She could tell yet again that Jan wasn’t pleased, his smile was forced and the arm he held around her was like banded steel – so tense was he with anger.
It was the third show. Julia had scraped through - somehow - without ending up in the dance off but her points had been consistently low. That she was still in the competition was as big a mystery to her as it patently was to the judges. But, for some reason, the public kept ringing in and still wanted her there, fighting her corner and staying in to dance another day.
As if in slow motion she saw Kevin, the most outspoken of the judges, open his mouth. Oh God, she thought, here comes another stream of abuse. Over the weeks, Kevin had reserved his cruellest, most cutting comments especially for her.
“Well, darling,” began Kevin. “You always entertain us, there can be no doubt of that but whether you can dance is another matter.” A cheer went up around the studio at his first comment and boos followed his second. Kevin looked scornfully around him, his disdain for the audience was well known. “Let me finish, please.” He fixed his pale eyes back on Julia and she braced herself. “Julia dear, your posture is still dreadful despite this being the third week of the competition and we’re nearly halfway through, your footwork is appalling and you’re still letting Jan do all the work. On this performance I don’t think you should go through to the next round, I really don’t, darling.”
At this, the audience actually hissed him. It was almost like a pantomime, thought Julia hazily, as Jan’s arm tightened its hold.
Sonya, the sole female judge and the most venomous, piped up through the audience’s booing. “I agree Kevin, it’s week three now and we should be seeing some improvement but each week you’ve come out, Julia, and trotted out the same old stuff. And it’s getting boring. You must listen to Jan; sort out your upper body and neckline and work, work, work on your feet.”
Julia was tired, she and Jan had put in over seven hours training each day that week and she was exhausted. She felt her throat thicken and tears caught at her. This was ridiculous she thought and tried to hide her reaction but it was too late; her shoulders began to shake and tears ran down her cheeks making a trail through the thick stage make up. The audience, scenting blood, quietened. Charlie the compere made an aaahing sound and said something like, “There there,” and then Jan dragged her off the dance floor. When they got to the back room he refused to wait for their scores and left Julia standing in front of Carol alone. Suni thrust a tissue into Julia’s hand.
Carol wasn’t quite sure what to say and stuttered a little until she got a prompt through her ear piece. “And now, after those shocking words from the judges, how do you feel?”
The fatuous question had what was left of Julia’s rational brain dissolving and she broke down completely. Someone tallish and solid took her in his arms and led her away from the cameras. She vaguely heard Carol flapping in the distance as she tried to fill the air time.
Strong arms held her and a soft voice whispered: “Don’t take on so, cariad bach, it’s not worth it.” As her sobs really began to take hold Harri took her through the doors, well away from any prying cameras which may have followed them and into the chilly corridor. He was now swearing quietly in Welsh – or at least that’s what Julia assumed he was doing, there was real vitriol in the tone of his voice which suggested anger.
He took her outside, to the courtyard in the middle of the television studios. There was a low wall which bordered a small garden and Harri led Julia to it. He sat with his arms tight around her until her sobs lessened and she was calmer.
Julia blew her nose into the tissue Suni had given her. “Sorry.”
“Uffern dan! What the hell for?” his accent sounded stronger and his voice was still full of anger.
“I’m such an idiot to break down like that. God, I must look like a mess.”
“You’re fine and it wasn’t idiotic. They really slammed into you back there. I could’ve punched Kevin.” Harri’s hand fisted.
Julia laughed, a little tremulously, but it was a laugh at least. “Thanks for coming to my aid. I really don’t think I could’ve coped with Carol or Jan …” she trailed off; the thought of having to face Jan was horrible. “God, I’ve really messed it up haven’t I?”
“What, by crying?”
“No, by showing I couldn’t cope with the stress.” Julia added mournfully, “I can’t see Cabaret coming my way now.”
“Don’t be so sure, cariad; in the face of what Jan’s made you do, they may see it as gritty determination. And as for the crying bit I think you’ll get the sympathy vote.”
“I don’t want the sympathy vote!”
“Do you want to stay in the competition?”
Julia thought about it. In some strange and possibly masochistic way, she did want to stay in the competition - if only to torture Jan. But she’d really like to prove to herself, and the viewers, that she could improve, that she could put two feet in front of one another without falling over. “Yes,” she said, in a determined voice. “Yes, I do want to stay in.”
“Well, there you go then. I think the viewers are seeing straight through Mr Moscow and can see how evil he’s being and are voting for you.”
“It’s twisted!”
Harri laughed. “It’s showbiz! Ready to go back?” He looked
at her, concern in his dark eyes.
Julia took a deep breath and gave him a wobbly smile. She nodded. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Bring it on!”
“That’s my girl.” He stood up and held out a hand. As he did so, a solitary snowflake fell from the cold dark sky.
“It’s snowing. Oh, it makes me feel so Christmassy!!” Julia exclaimed, with all the wonder of a small child. “It’s not often you get to see snow in the middle of London.”
Harri looked up and followed the passage of another snowflake, making its way to the concrete. “It is indeed.” He grinned. “It’s a good omen for you!”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
Julia put out her tongue. She closed her eyes and reached her face up into the night.
Harri gazed at her and at the vision of her pink tongue held out in the hope of catching a snowflake. He moved towards her, without thinking and then stopped. He longed to capture that tongue with his own, to twist it with his and make it hot. For the first time in his life, he wished he were an ordinary bloke with an ordinary job and one who could simply make the next move. And not somebody with this ridiculous clause hanging over him.
Julia opened her eyes and caught him staring.
“Oh Harri. This is amazing. You’re amazing!” She flung her arms round him, her mood obviously restored.
For a long second, he returned the embrace and then disentangled himself. “Oh, I’m bloody amazing, cariad. Now, go back in, it’s freezing out here.”
Julia blew him a kiss and ran back into the television studios.
As he watched her go, he knew he couldn’t risk making a move. Not yet. He had to be one hundred percent sure. Julia didn’t seem the kiss and tell type but he couldn’t risk his entire career for what might turn out to be a one-night stand. He just couldn’t, no matter how big the temptation. And, oh boy, was he tempted. With a heavy heart, he followed her in.
Step Six.
