“I’m out of moves,” I say.
Finn grabs me by the shoulders. “No,” he says, “you can’t talk like that. Listen to me, Freya. You have great instincts. You have proven it again and again. Trust your senses. They will tell you what to do.”
I look to Damian for answers.
“What he said,” Damian says. “Instincts and all.”
I can’t avoid the thought in my head. Boys are useless sometimes.
It comes to me. “I have to use their energy to create a super blast that will bring down the doombirds,” I say.
“How will you do that?” Finn says.
“I need a second receptor.”
Damian reads my mind. He gets to the trapped aliens with three long strides. As I release the field on one side, he reaches inside and grabs a receptor from a stunned alien. He brings the receptor to me. I take it in my left hand. I’d like to explore its potential but there’s no time for that. I’ll have to trust my instinct as Finn put it.
With a thrust of the receptor in my right hand, I lift the magnetic field off the aliens while I use the second receptor to create a chain of energy beams that activate all the receptor devices in their hands.
With the right receptor I control the aliens and with the left one I keep their receptors activated and their beams connected. No matter how hard they try to release themselves, my force field overpowers them completely.
When the first drones come within reach of my force field, I turn all the receptors against them. The Dark Legion form a circle around me to protect me from potential firing from the drones. One by one I blow up the first doombirds, turning them into ashes and flames.
They keep coming like there’s no end to them from two different directions. I have to divide the energy swirls to keep up. I work as fast as I can directing my rage at the doombirds but eventually the inevitable happens. One of the last drones escapes and turns the opposite way. I can’t redirect the energy field fast enough to catch up with it so I let it go. I blow up the last ones and then drop the energy field altogether. I take a moment to rest and recoup my strength. The aliens see their chance to escape and start running away from us with bizarre up-and-down strides.
“Should we get them?” Damian says.
“No, we should free the children,” I say.
“How on earth did you do that?” Finn says.
“I honestly have no idea. I followed my instinct like you said.”
“You’ll have to listen to me more often,” he says jokingly.
We start to unlock doors and get the children safely out of the dorms. I have the Sliman organize groups of fifty children and lead them to the vast training area behind the main buildings.
Kroll comes to me holding a big vial.
“What is this?” I ask.
“Omicron 5,” he says. “I have the formula and samples. For your Sliman friends that need it.”
I smile. “You’ve done good,” I say.
When the first explosion happens, we don’t quite understand.
Finn looks at me perplexed. “What was that?” he says.
“An explosion,” Kroll says. “There.”
We look to the west and see a small cloud of debris rise up a few miles away. Almost immediately, a second explosion follows.
“It must be the doombird that escaped,” Finn says.
“What are they bombing?” Damian says.
Finn goes pale as he looks at me.
“No,” I say shaking my head. “You’re wrong. It can’t be.”
Finn takes out his touchpad. “Gritu,” he yells into it. “Are you there?”
There’s no response.
“Try Theo,” I say.
Finn looks at me with eyes filled with fear and pain.
“Do it, Finn!” I say desperately.
Finn punches Theo’s number on the keys. “Theo,” he says. “Are you receiving this?”
After a few seconds that feel like an eternity, Theo responds. “I’m here,” he says.
My relief at hearing his voice weakens me more than any alien field. I hug Finn and hold on to him while he talks to Theo. “Did you hear the explosion? Do you know where it happened?”
It takes a long time for Theo to reply. “We split up,” he says. “I think they may have got hit.”
“They? Who’s they?” I scream into the touchpad.
The connection is lost before Theo answers.
“Freya, look,” Damian says.
The front of the HQ building has turned into a huge screen showing footage from a plantation. It could be 6 or 7, I’m not sure. Everything seems normal, children practicing under the watch of their trainers and guards, until a doombird becomes visible above them as the camera turns upward.
A gentle rain of small round bubbles falls from the doombird. We all watch in horror as the bubbles quietly descend and explode seconds before touching the ground.
18
The faces of the children. The terror in their eyes. Burned flesh. Torn limbs. The screams. Was this all really just to send me a message?
The Shadow Empress is telling me she will win because she’s ruthless. There’s nothing she won’t do. While I’m a weak human with a conscience and an aching desire for happiness.
Happiness is not an objective. Not anymore. But I can live with that if I get to bring her and her evil empire down. Fulfillment. Her word.
We have to lead two-thousand terrified children to safety. Kroll has instructed the warriors of the Dark Legion to abandon their positions and meet us at the appointed post. We are leaving the district in search of a safer life for humans and Sliman alike.
But nothing feels right. Nothing ever will. Finn has left with a group of Sliman to look for Theo and the others. My heart refuses to believe that any of our friends have been hurt. I’ve seen enough death today to last me a lifetime.
Have I been arrogant? Thinking I could outsmart an enemy a thousand times more powerful and resourceful? Whatever the next steps will be, we’ll have to think a lot harder before we take them.
Maybe Joshua was right. Maybe the aliens have no use for the plantations anymore. We’ll have to figure out a way to rescue as many children as possible before it’s too late.
Kroll has found the man who is supposed to be my brother. He was tied down in a storage room. One look and I know it isn’t him. He does not have my brother’s hazel eyes. But he’s one more soul that’s rescued. That should count for something. Only if I could convince myself that the price paid was worth it.
A few minutes after we leave the plantation, I come to a halt. I am overcome with a sense of grief that paralyzes my nervous system. I drop to my knees. I see Tobi’s face and I’m grateful that he’s alive and safe. But that feeling is quickly replaced by a feeling of guilt because while my own child is safe, so many have perished.
Someone stops in front of me. I raise my face to meet Damian’s troubled eyes. It’s good to know he’s not indifferent to this devastation. He kneels down next to me and takes me in his arms. We stay like this without saying anything, still and perfectly quiet. Then my tears come in a flood soaking my face and his shirt.
“I made the wrong decision,” I say through my sobs.
“It’s war,” he says. “All decisions are wrong in war. Someone will always end up dead no matter what you choose.”
I hold on to him as tight as I can. I need the reassurance in his voice, his calm reasoning, the soothing effect of his words.
I let go of him and wipe my tears with the back of my sleeve. I notice that Kroll is waiting a few feet away. He bows when I catch his glance.
“They are coming,” he says. “Your friends. On an armored vehicle.”
I get up and focus my gaze on the distant image. I spring to my feet and look to Damian for support. There should be more than one vehicle.
“I’ll go meet them,” he says. “You stay here.”
How much grief can one person take in one single day? I spin around my heels and
dig my own nails into the skin of my palms. I have no use for bad news anymore. I want to close my eyes and go to sleep and only wake up when the wounded have been healed and the dead appeased.
Finn comes to me minutes later. Or is it years? Because he looks older and dustier than I remember and he doesn’t seem to be able to walk straight.
“Tick,” he says as he puts his arms around me. “Joshua and his team were hit by the liquid bombs.”
“Are they all dead?” I say. The sooner I know, the better.
“No, Joshua survived and two of the fighters. But they’re in bad shape.”
“I might be able to help,” I say. Then a thought crosses my mind. “What about Ella?”
Finn shakes his head. “She’s fine. She stayed at the base. She said you advised her to do so.” A pained smile crosses his lips for a second. “You may have saved her life.”
I nod. I don’t know what that means but I nod. Saving one. Letting a thousand children burn. That’s bad math for my soul.
“Let’s go,” I say. “I’ll get some white energy into the wounded.”
He takes my hand. “Wait,” he says and his eyes well up.
“What? Finn?”
“Gritu and Doc,” he says, “they went with them.”
“Finn?”
“They’re gone, Freya.”
I bang my fists against his chest. He pulls me closer.
“That wasn’t their orders,” I plead. “They have to listen to us. To you, Finn. They have to listen to you. Why didn’t they listen?”
“I don’t know,” Finn can only say.
I walk away covering my ears with my hands. Not Doc. I accelerate my pace, going from walking to running. Deep down in the very core of me I am breaking. I am chipping away little by little, death by death and I will keep on coming undone until I am nothing but scattered pieces of bone.
My beautiful Doc. His bright eyes extinguished from the world. I want to feel he is alive again. Right now. I want to feel his presence in the dead part of my heart.
*
IT’S RAINING. The weather is humid in this new district which means the vegetation is greener and taller.
The Dark Legion have been working tirelessly day and night to set up shelter for all the children. I’ll have to find a name for them because I don’t want to call them Sliman anymore. They are ours now and we will have to give them a new name and a new identity.
The only thing that holds me together is that I will see Tobi soon. Joshua has recovered and he will fly Terra 8 back to the space station. I am still trying to come to terms with what happened. Why did I allow all those people to come back to Earth with me? The Dark Legion should have been enough. I shouldn’t have risked the lives of my friends and allies.
They can tell me a million times that they all wanted to be here with me, that they are my equals and they make their own choices but the truth is that I could have prevented them. They were looking up to me for orders and directions.
And now we will never see Doc again. We never got to say goodbye and I’ll never be able to tell him how much I loved him and valued his friendship.
To go back and change history. The one thing the receptor will never be able to do.
I step outside the tent and into the rain. It feels good on my skin and soothing to my incessant thoughts. I am tempted to get the receptor out and create rainbows but my heart isn’t really into it. Maybe someday I’ll do it for the children to see.
I walk further into the woods admiring the glistening vegetation and the overgrown flowers; stepping on mud the color of clay.
I know that Finn has followed me long before he decides to make his presence known.
“Don’t you love a summer rain?” I say.
“It’s always summer,” he reminds me.
“Yes, but it’s not always raining.”
We walk side by side in silence. There’s not much to say. I know that he sneaks into my tent every night to make sure I’m fine. I pretend that I’m sleeping but I think he knows the truth. He knows that I’m afraid to fall asleep and enter the realm of nightmares. He knows because it’s the same with him.
“Listen,” he says. “A bird singing.”
I stop to listen how the elaborate vocals of a small bird blend with the crystal sounds of raindrops on leaves and branches.
“It’s beautiful,” I say. “And out of place. A bird singing in the rain.” I touch Finn’s face. It’s wet and so is his hair and clothes. We’re both soaking wet.
“We will be clean one day,” I say. “Not just from the rain falling, but also in our hearts.”
He grabs me gently by the hair and buries his face in my neck. When we kiss, I know it’s not like before. It’s not love or anger that pulls us together now. It’s pain and sorrow and an unspeakable desire to be somewhere else. Maybe being able to tame each other’s nightmares is a good place to rest upon and allow yourself to fall in love.
The rain falls harder now. It lashes my face and shakes me from my dream. “How many times are we going to do this?” I say. “What’s the point of it all, Finn? Too much has happened. I’m broken. The last thing we need is more reasons to feel guilty.”
“I know all that, but I don’t know how to stop wanting you.”
Finn’s so damn sweet sometimes. I rest my head against his shoulder. “We’re going to get through this,” I say. “It will all make sense someday.”
“Someday,” he says with a sigh. “Seems like we’ve been waiting for that our whole lives.”
*
ON A DARK EVENING under a starless sky, the Dark Legion vows everlasting allegiance to me and the Saviors through the mouth of Kroll. They bang their right fists against their chests to show their loyalty. The transformation is complete.
We are about to take off, Joshua, Ella, the two fighters that survived the bombing, Damian, Finn, Zoe, Nya, Theo and me. I am not too happy about leaving all the children behind, but Kroll has vowed to protect them with his life. I try to remember that some of them are older than Rabbit, Scout and Tilly but the truth is they have never tasted freedom before. They might not know what to do with it yet.
“It’s not going to be long,” I say using the receptor to project my voice. “We will be back and we will start our new life. Now we have to secure the space station and make sure everyone’s safe there. The older ones among you will take care of the younger ones. And you will all support each other. That’s how it’s done in a free community.”
As I turn to go, a girl steps out of the crowd. She walks up to me slowly. When she gets close, I recognize her. It’s the girl that talked to me on the screen, the one that said she was like me.
“I wish to speak to you if you will let me,” she says.
“Of course,” I say. “I know you.”
“What I said to you, about me being like you, I don’t know if it’s true. They told me it was, but I don’t believe it. Not after having seen you in action.”
“There’s only one way to find out,” I say.
I go to her and hand her one of the extra sensory receptor devices I have now. She takes it in her hand and squeezes it. She tries again and again to turn the receptor on but nothing happens.
“I guess it’s not true,” she says disappointed.
“Did you want it to be true?” I say.
“I want to be special,” she says.
“You are special. A lot more than you think.” I push her hair back from her eyes. “I need your help with something.”
Her face beams. “Anything,” she says.
“I need you to help every child pick a name. Start with yourself.”
“How will we do that?” she says.
“Joshua,” I say. “Give me that history book you always carry around.”
“This was my father’s book,” he says as he hands it to me.
“You’ll have it back,” I say and then smile at the girl. “We promise, right?”
“Promise,” she says.
&n
bsp; The prospect of naming everyone has warmed her heart. Sometimes all we need is a purpose.
We climb onto Terra 8 and get our seatbelts on. Zoe and Nya hold hands. Ella sneaks in next to Finn. Damian sits by himself. Theo is busy with his touchpad. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that everything has gone back to normal.
But nothing is normal. We have lost our dear friend and we have lost Gritu. We’ve seen thousands of children blown to pieces. We’ve rescued thousands more. The nastiest army in the world is on our side. We’re building our own plantation in a new district.
Now we have the weapons to rival those of the Shadow Empire, but we have much more than that. We have compassion, we have innocence and we have love. And there is no greater purpose or energy field than love.
19
Sleeping with Tobi in my arms has chased away some of the darkness in my soul. I can hardly believe it’s been only three weeks since I left him. It feels like months, even years. A different lifetime. Because nothing is the same nor ever will be.
But Tobi is here with me, chubby and good-natured as always, hungry for the warmth of my caresses and the softness of my voice.
“All children need to feel safe and loved,” I whisper in his ear before handing him over to Pip.
Her eyes are red and I know she’s been crying all night. I kiss her forehead as I get ready to go out to the Main Command Deck. I will have to face Commander Eldritch and the assembly and explain myself, I guess. Explain how I have caused the death of Wade and eight more of their fighters.
My mind is on overload when I take the moving walkway to Sector Three. I enter the Main Command Deck with a heavy heart. Commander Eldritch greets me from the head of the table. Everybody else stand up and bow their heads to me. It’s a lot to take in and for a moment I just stand there not knowing what to do.
“Please, take a seat, Freya,” Commander Eldritch says. I notice that they have reserved a seat next to the commander for me. When I’m seated, I look around the table to spot the familiar faces of Joshua, Ella, Lainey, Finn, Damian, Zoe and Theo. There are also a few Exodus officers present as well as two of the twenty members of the parliament whom I’ve barely seen before.
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