by Tess Oliver
“Yeah, sort of.”
She nodded and turned toward the path that led to her house.
Chapter 12
Noelle
I glanced up from my book. Grace was primped and primed as she came out of her bedroom. “What are you up to? Going out with new guy?” The topic of Rocko had been prominent in every conversation we’d had in the past few days. Of course, the topic of Seth had been prominent in my mind too these past few days. I just didn’t speak about him out loud. He was always the subject of my torturous mind debate. A debate that had gotten even more heated after the kiss on the beach, a kiss I couldn’t stop thinking about.
“Yes. I’m going to his place to watch television and eat pizza.” She pulled a compact out of her purse and opened it to do a last minute lipstick check. “He said something about kicking Seth out for the evening. Maybe you should call and invite him over.” There was a touch of anger in her tone. Grace knew that something was up between Seth and me, but she hadn’t asked any questions. She was pissed about the situation, almost as if they’d been an item and I’d stepped between them. But she did seem to like Rocko, which made it all less complicated, at least from a roommate standpoint.
“Duke and I are going to share a bowl of buttered popcorn and then he’s going to snore while I finish my book. That is the extent of my plans tonight.”
“I really should introduce you to my grandma. You two have a lot in common.” She gave a curt wave and walked out.
It had been two days since I’d gone to Seth’s and babbled like a raving lunatic in front of him, insisting that I would never kiss him again just seconds before throwing myself at him for a kiss. I’d replayed the scene more than a few times in my head, and each time, I felt more embarrassed and confused. I hadn’t seen Seth since, and I was relieved and disappointed, all at once.
Duke released a low doggy sigh and rolled over onto his side and onto a squeaky toy. He sat up at attention and wagged his tail at me as if I had squeezed it. “Hey, that’s cheating. You did it. Not me.”
His tail whirled faster. He hopped up and wedged the toy between his teeth. I put my book aside. “Just four throws.”
He led me to the sliding door, in case I’d forgotten the way to the beach. Five steps out, he dropped the toy and ran toward the sand, glancing back twice in anticipation. I picked up the toy and threw it. Squeaky toys never traveled as far as tennis balls, and he had to run back toward me to fetch it.
The sun had set completely, but the horizon line was still a glowing navy blue, the final remnants of the day sinking away for good. The sand felt cold on my bare feet, and in between throws, I curled my arms around me to stay warm in the chilly night air. There were a few bonfires farther down, otherwise the beach was empty.
I threw the toy again. From the corner of my eye, I saw a tall figure walking along the path. It was Seth. And, suddenly, it occurred to me that I missed seeing him. He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans and that smile that could win over the coldest heart. He caught up to me just as Duke dropped the toy at my feet. Seth leaned down, picked it up and threw it.
“Jeez, you can make that thing sail a lot farther than me.” I spoke cheerily, but inside, my stomach was flooded with butterflies. “I heard you were getting kicked out of the house for the evening.”
“Seems that way. Grace said you were busy with a book, but I decided to walk this way anyhow. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. As you see, my dog has tempted me away from my book by using the oldest trick in the book, the accidental squeaky toy alarm.”
He laughed. The sound of it made me feel less nervous and even happier to see him. He was someone who I felt comfortable talking to. He was easy going and non-judgmental and just all-together charming. He might’ve been someone who used his extreme appeal to mess with too many hearts, more than likely leaving behind some broken ones, but he also seemed like the type of guy who could never be cruel, or purposely deceitful. He’d certainly proved himself to have a great deal of courage. And here I was making out a list of character traits on a guy that I’d spent the last two days trying to talk myself out of. But, now, with him standing here in front of me beneath the lights of the bike path, I couldn’t stop looking at him.
Duke hadn’t come right back, so we walked toward the water to make sure he was all right. Turned out, he’d dropped to his haunches halfway back to the path to give his toy a good gnawing.
“He’s rewarding himself with a chew session,” I said. We continued down to the water, but the sand near the water was icy cold. I lifted my feet up and down, the same way I did when the sand was too hot to stand on. “How is it possible for the sand to feel like the surface of the sun in daylight and then drop to glacial cold in the space of a few hours?”
“You’re the scientist, remember? I just stick metal together.”
“Metal that holds up bridges and pylons and buildings. I’m not completely sure what I’ll do with my degree. I just know the topic interests me. I love animals and the ocean, so I figured I couldn’t go wrong with ocean animals. During the summer before my last year in high school, I volunteered at an ocean animal rescue facility. Caring for sick and injured seals and pelicans and other critters was so rewarding. I knew then, I was going to head in the direction of marine biology. Hayden and I got married a year after high school and my college plans got put off. Not sure why, I guess I was just having fun being a wife and working at the surf shop. I started back at school a year ago when I realized that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life hanging up bathing suits on hangers. I love being back in school.”
Seth shook his head. “Better you than me. I was really good in school, but I never liked it. And homework, who the hell came up with that concept? A bunch of cranky old teachers must have gotten together one day and decided they wanted to add one more layer of misery to school by making kids do work at home. My mom had such a hard time corralling all three of us to sit down and do our homework. Now I feel guilty about the shit we put her through.”
Duke ran into the water a few steps, his toy clutched tightly in his jaw. He turned around quickly and raced back out. “I think his paws are as cold as my feet.”
“Maybe we should head back to the house,” Seth suggested. We hadn’t brought up the kiss at all, and I was good with that. He turned his broad back to me. “Hop on and I’ll give you a ride.”
“What about the cuts on your back?”
“They’re almost healed up already.”
I grabbed hold of his strong shoulders, and he reached back as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He lifted me up. I laughed and folded my arms around his chest as he jogged back up to the house.
I leaned my head to the side. “If I get too heavy just put me down.”
“You’re not heavy.”
We reached the path, and he lowered my feet to the ground. “That was truly one of the most chivalrous things any man has ever done for my feet.”
He held up a finger. “Wait, I can top it. If I can come inside, that is.”
“By all means. My feet are tingling with anticipation.” I reached up and brushed some sand off them. “Of course, that might be because they are still numb with cold.” I slid open the glass door, and Duke raced past both of us. He stood in the center of the room and shook off the sand and moisture. “Naturally, you couldn’t do that before you rudely rushed inside,” I said to the dog, who returned a look that was the canine version of a shrug. Then he plodded over to his pillow and flopped down.
Seth sat down and patted the couch next to him. His suntan made his blue eyes stand out more, not that they needed any help with that. There wasn’t one second with the man where I didn’t find him wholly appealing, and it terrified me plenty. I sat down and he scooted away from me. Before I could feel insulted, he tapped his thigh. “Put your feet here. I’ve been told I am a master at massaging feet.” He thought about his statement. “Among other things,” he added with a wicked curl of his mouth.
“It’s just a foot rub,” he said.
I lifted my legs and placed my feet on his thigh. It, like his back, was hard as rock. I shoved a pillow against the arm rest and leaned back against it. He rubbed his hands together to warm them with friction. His strong, calloused fingers took hold of my feet.
I giggled and nearly pulled them free. “I just remembered, my feet are extremely ticklish. And now I’m thinking that I should never have confessed that to a man who has my bare feet completely in his control.”
“I promise, no tickling . . . for now. Relax and close your eyes while I take you on a journey to feet nirvana.”
I closed my eyes and tried to relax, but it didn’t come easy. It was me still trying hard not to enjoy my time with this amazing man. I liked him. I liked him a lot, and it was causing a hurricane of emotions inside me. His fingers worked their magic, massaging my feet and toes in such a way that the tingling was definitely no longer from the cold. I was feeling it through my entire body. With my eyes closed, my mind drifted to the notion of having him run those same hands along my legs, my hips, my breasts. It had been a long time, and Seth’s strong, capable hands were awakening sensations in me that I thought had been doused for good. Apparently, they’d been there all along, I’d just needed the right person to wake them.
I sat up with a gasp and pulled my feet from his hands. I wasn’t ready to accept that those feelings were still there. I didn’t want to lose myself, lose my heart to this man no matter how enticing he was.
Disappointment marred his face.
“How about some wine or beer?” I asked quickly to fill in the awkward gap that yanking away my feet had caused.
He recovered, still looking a bit bewildered. “A beer sounds good.”
I hopped up, a little too enthusiastically, and went to the kitchen. I poured myself a glass of wine, deciding I really needed it, and grabbed Seth a cold beer. He took the can and popped it open, and I noticed a scar on his wrist.
I sat down on the couch a few feet away this time. “How’d you get that scar?”
He turned his hand to look at his wrist as if he’d forgotten it was there. “Flew off my dirt bike and decided my hand was the best way to stop my body. My wrist decided to remind me that I’d made a stupid choice and that I should have listened better in physics . . . and anatomy, for that matter. I went a good four weeks in a cast before the doctor decided he had to stick a metal bar in it so it would grow straight.”
I sipped my wine. “So, were you fast on a bike?”
He nodded. “I was. Still am, when I get a chance to ride. As my dad used to tell me, I was just thickheaded enough to be completely fearless, a trait that helps when you’re flying off jumps.”
I motioned to his wrist. “Did that set you back from being fearless?”
“Nah, even continued to ride a few more laps. I knew it was busted, but I was convinced I could keep going. Then I hit a rut and absorbed the impact through my hand and wrist. I stopped, threw down the bike and puked my guts out all over the dirt. My brothers fell down laughing. Hurt like hell. But I healed fast, and for a brief moment in time, it seemed I might have a career in motocross. Even picked up some sponsors.”
The wine was working its way to my limbs, and I was feeling more relaxed. Seth drank his beer but it seemed he was always relaxed. Nothing ever seemed to ruffle him. “What happened?” I asked.
He gulped some more beer and the sensual movement of his throat as he swallowed had me temporarily mesmerized. The kiss, the piggy-back ride and the foot rub had sparked physical feelings inside of me that I wasn’t expecting.
“It’s funny, at first I was excited about the prospect of riding with a team, but when people started telling me how to ride, what bike to use and even what shirts to wear, I grew tired of it fast. That’s when I knew it wasn’t for me. I just wasn’t that disciplined. I liked fun. That’s why I went out there in the first place. Competition was for serious riders. That was never me. My dad was disappointed but not surprised.” He looked slightly saddened by the idea that he’d disappointed his dad.
“Your story sounds a lot like Hayden’s. And Greg was disappointed in him too, but, just like your dad, he wasn’t surprised. When different sponsors got involved and started insisting he do things their way, he got turned off. He surfed for the thrill of it. Not to keep corporate big shots happy. He had big potential, but he didn’t give a shit about that.” And that’s when it occurred to me, and it was a revelation that made my throat tight and my chest feel heavy— there were a lot of similarities between Seth and Hayden.
He caught me in the middle of my thought. He reached over and brushed his fingers over my hand, and I drew it away, a reaction that I hadn’t really planned. He looked hurt and with good reason. He dropped back the rest of his beer. “I guess I’ll let you get back to your book.” He got up.
“No, Seth—”
He looked down at me with a mix of confusion and surrender. He was giving up, it seemed. Or maybe he’d just decided I wasn’t worth all the effort. I was making it damn hard for him and pretty fucking hard for myself as well.
“Look, Noelle,” he spoke before I could, “I really, really like you. I would love to get to know you better, but I’m getting so many damn mixed messages from you my head’s about to explode. Maybe you just need longer to deal with things. Maybe I’m just not the guy to help you transition out of the heartbreak you’ve been through.”
I reached for his hand. “Don’t leave, Seth. I know I don’t make much sense. My whole life hasn’t made sense in awhile, but if you’re willing to take it slow . . . ” I let go of his hand. “No, why should I ask that of you. You’ve got your pick of women, who are just waiting for you to call them up. Great, I’m fucked up and selfish.”
He sat back down. The way he gazed at me made me feel as if someday I might still find my way out of the dark. He reached up cautiously as if he was trying to touch a bird that would flutter away with one wrong move. His fingers stroked the side of my face. I closed my eyes, allowing myself the pleasure of feeling his caress on my cheek. He lowered his hand, and I opened my eyes.
“Ask it of me, Noelle. I’m willing to go as slow as you need. It will take all of my resolve and self-control because I’m dying to touch you, but I can do it. Just ask me.”
I took hold of his hand. It felt strong and capable and warm in my fingers. “Seth, don’t give up on me yet.”
He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the mouth. “Then you won’t mind if I stay around here for awhile longer. I’ve been kicked out for the evening, remember?”
“That would be nice. My book is kind of dull anyhow. No tall, handsome blue-eyed men. Are you hungry?”
He smiled. “I will tell you right now that the one question you can ask that will always get you the answer ‘yes’ from me is ‘are you hungry?’.
“I make a mean plate of scrambled eggs.”
“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more perfect.”
Chapter 13
Seth
One of the coolest things about Greg was that no matter where, or what time of day it was, he was always in a good mood. Could have been the weed or living the life of a perpetual beach bum, who probably never had to suffer in a starchy suit or uncomfortable shoes, and who, just like the sand out on the beach, went with the natural flow of things.
His permanent suntan made his teeth glow extra white as he grinned up from the deck of his vintage boat. The morning fog was still hanging around the boats in chalky gray pillows, and the water was deep green and choppy enough to coax the boats into performing a chorus line style dance at the end of their moorings.
Grace had, unfortunately, come home earlier than we’d expected, cutting short the night with Noelle. She was pissed at something my thickheaded roommate had said, and since the vibe I was getting from her was that all men sucked, I reluctantly said good-bye to Noelle and walked back
home. For as mad as Grace had seemed, Rocko had been stretched out on our couch with a beer and a smug expression plastered across his round face. Apparently, he’d let her know that he planned to see more than one girl while he was staying at the beach. I let him know he was a fucking idiot and told him to get off my bed. He stomped off reminding me that everything he’d learned, he learned from me. It was a nice punch to the gut and a reality that was really starting to bother me.
The evening with Noelle had gone just like all of the other times I’d been with her, a series of mixed emotions coming from a girl who I wanted badly but who, for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out. She was definitely complicated. But I knew for certain that this wasn’t just me rising up to a challenge. While I had no real clue how she felt about me, one thing was for sure— I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
“The brass on those gauges shined up nicely,” I said as I climbed on board. “Do you want me to keep working on the stern?” The deck was covered in the fine grit that resulted from hours of sanding, but as we ground away the splinters and rough edges, the old boat’s true beauty was starting to shine through.
Greg was still staring at the gauges along the boat’s dashboard. He didn’t answer at first. “Oh yeah, sorry. That’d be great. I was just thinking about this steering wheel. It’ll need to be replaced.”
“I’m sure if you search for the year and model online, you’ll be able to find an original.”
He was quiet again, unusual for him.
“Greg?”
“I’ve already got one.” He made an effort to snap out of the funk he seemed to have drifted into. “It’s at home in a closet.”
“That’s good. One less thing to worry about.”
He wiped some sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand and pulled out a joint.
