by Tia Souders
Her voice trailed off, unsure of what else to say, wishing Kaden would interrupt and stop her—make this easier on her. Emotions weren’t exactly her forte.
He blinked, saying nothing, then reached a hand up to his tired eyes and rubbed. “Uh, yeah. Sorry. I didn’t get much sleep. Sophie’s okay. Turns out she has a late case of the flu. Friday night she got dehydrated which is why she was out of it. They gave her some IV fluids and some meds to help her symptoms and kept her yesterday for monitoring. We just have to wait for the virus to ride itself out, but she’s better than she was. They discharged her this morning, so...” He shrugged.
“Oh.” Abby’s mouth rounded on the empty word.
She wasn’t sure what she expected from him, but it wasn’t this. The fact she’d made an improvement and he’d been home all day without letting her know everything was fine bothered her more than she’d like to admit.
“Well, do you wanna go hang out, get a coffee or something?” she asked.
“Can’t. I’m watching Sophie. My dad had to go into work.”
“I’m surprised he even left her with how frantic he was Friday night.”
Kaden stiffened, and she wished she could shove the words back in, certain by the bulging vein in his neck he took them the wrong way. But it was too late.
Finally, he met her eyes, but there was no warmth in his gaze.
“He was worried sick about her, and you don’t know what you’re talking about. There are some things you don’t understand.”
His words were like a punch to the gut. Whether they were true or not didn’t matter. Because she wanted more than anything to understand, despite the voice inside her head telling her it was better this way. To be on the outside looking in.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t... I wasn’t insulting him, I swear.” She bit her lip, wondering where to go from here. The last thing she wanted was to leave right now. Not with Kaden angry or annoyed or frustrated or whatever it was he clearly felt toward her, but she had no clue how to fix it.
Feeling every ounce the outsider, standing on his porch, she shifted her weight and kicked a stone at her feet. She wished she could take back Friday night. She wished she could go back to the day she shared her secret and stop herself, so they could rewind to him teasing her and joking—before she started caring about him and got him in trouble.
“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll be going, then.” She hesitated, knowing it was time to leave but hated the thought of walking away. Instead, she gazed up at him, her eyes pleading, begging for him to stop her, to ask her to stay. For a chance to make things right between them because she had no idea how they had gotten so off track.
He stepped down onto the stoop in front of her and closed the door behind him, sending a wave of relief crashing through her.
He was finally going to talk to her, she thought, but the feeling didn’t last long.
Shoving his hands in his pocket, he stared at the ground as he said, “Listen, I’m sorry. I know you probably came here because we’re supposed to make some phone calls and figure out what’s in Newberry. I know we planned on doing something with everything we’ve learned the last few days, but...not today. I’ve got Sophie to take care of, and then—”
“Is that why you think I came here? That I expected you to help me today and leave her?” Abby frowned.
He shrugged. “Isn’t it?”
“I came here because I was worried about Sophie—about you. I had no idea what was wrong and imagined the worst. Since I hadn’t heard from you, I didn’t know if she was okay or how much trouble you were in with your dad. And I’m the one that brought all this on, so...” She swallowed over the lump in her throat, her mouth and tongue like sandpaper. “But I see you’re fine, and I shouldn’t have come. My mistake.”
She spun on her heel, wondering why her chest felt so tight.
When she stepped off the porch, her feet hit the cracked sidewalk with an ominous thud. A firm hand followed, clamping down on her shoulder and stopping her from going any further.
“Wait.” Strong fingers pressed into her skin as he turned her to face him. She met his eyes, turbulent as a tropical storm and dark like muddied waters.
“I’m sorry. Gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...” He fell silent for a moment, searching her eyes before he asked, “Did you really come to see how Sophie was?”
“And you, too.”
She wanted to reach out to him. The sudden urge to trace his jaw, his cheek, his forehead, and lips battered against her restraint to keep still. Instead, she clasped her hands behind her back, wanting to avoid anything to make him pull away again.
“I know we’re working on this whole secret thing together, and I’m not gonna deny that I don’t need your help, that I want your help, but it’s more than that. I care about you, Kaden. I care more about you than unraveling some stupid secret. My grandmother’s not here.” Bile rose in the back of her throat as the words left her mouth. With all that had gone on since her death, there were times she forgot the gravity of her loss. “But you’re here, and you mean more to me than solving some mystery. Even if you said you were done, I’d be okay with that.”
His eyes sparkled as he reached out to her, pulling her hands from around her back, where he clasped them in his own. “On our way to the hospital, I kept telling myself it was one of Dad’s epic freak-outs, that she was fine. I told myself he was worked up because he found out I snuck out on top of her being sick. But then we got there and...” He paused, his voice thick.
“And?” Abigail squeezed his hands.
He stared into the distance as if remembering.
“And I saw her hooked up to the IV—all the tubes and wires coming from her arm and hand—it brought back all these memories. Every single time my mom went to the hospital. Holidays spent in the emergency room and birthdays at her bedside. I remembered the exact number of times I sat in the same room across from her, knowing things wouldn’t get better but only worse with time, and there was nothing I could do about it.” His forehead creased, and the grip on her hands tightened. “But instead of my mom, it was my sister. She looked so tiny there, in that bed, in her hospital gown, and it completely freaked me out. I know it ended up not being a huge deal, but all I could think about was how I wasn’t there for her. How I lied and snuck out, and as a result, I wasn’t there when they needed me. What if something had happened? Something worse? What if she had an accident? I would’ve never forgiven myself.”
“Hey,” Abby said, dipping her head, meeting his eyes. “You can’t think like that. In a year, you’ll be off at college and then what? This wasn’t your fault. And, okay, maybe sneaking out was wrong. Maybe you shouldn’t have, but you’re eighteen. There are far worse things. You’re going to do some dumb stuff and make mistakes. It comes with the territory. And you can’t live your whole life wondering what if. You can’t be afraid of every bad thing that could be waiting around the corner. You’ll go crazy if you do.”
Like your dad.
“I know that’s how my dad is, and I see the toll it takes on him. But last night, I understood. I felt how he feels, and it sucked. Maybe he’s wrong in how he’s handled his grief, and maybe he’s way overprotective, but at that moment, I understood it. I’m sorry if you felt like it was your fault, or you were to blame. It was my fault I wasn’t there. That was my choice. I did that. I was mad at myself, not you.”
Though he helped ease her anxiety, she was still unsure where this put them.
“So, does your dad hate me even more now?”
Kaden smirked. “Well, let’s just say he’s not your biggest fan.”
Abby winced. “Could you imagine what he would think if he knew we were really out questioning Lawson’s sister?”
Kaden chuckled. “No. He’d probably kill me, especially if he knew I took photos of case evidence.”
Abby’s expression turned grim at the thought.
“So...” Kaden glanced back at the house. “I’d probably better g
et back inside.”
“Can I come in?” The words tumbled out of her mouth faster than she could stop them.
Way to invite yourself in, Abby.
“She has the flu. So, she’s contagious, and she’s kind of just laying around on the couch. I’m not sure how fun it’s going to be.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’d like to hang out. No mysteries to solve. No secrets. Just us,” she said, then snickered. “Well, us and your kid sister, but I’m willing to risk the flu.”
For you.
Kaden beamed. “Fair warning though, if my dad comes home, you might have to hide in the closet.”
Abby skipped ahead of him toward the door. “Wouldn’t be my first time hiding in a boy’s closet.”
“Wait, what?” Kaden hesitated, then hurried after her, reaching around her to the open the door.
She turned, under the protection of his arm, enjoying the flash of jealousy in his eyes, thinking she could get used to this.
“Just kidding,” she said, then stepped inside.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“Uh, it’s not very big.” Kaden closed the door behind them.
“The worst words you can say to a girl.”
He glared at her in response, a blush blooming in his cheeks, and Abby would’ve enjoyed being the one to tease him for a change if he didn’t look so self-conscious.
“I meant the house,” he said, then chewed the inside of his cheek as he glanced around the room, shoulders hunched.
The small living room led way to a tiny eat-in kitchen and a narrow hallway off the back. Every square foot of his home, within eye view, could easily fit inside her sprawling kitchen alone.
“You can sit wherever. Sorry there’s only one couch.” He gestured to the small oak table and chairs, as well as a worn loveseat, scattered with pillows and a small pink blanket, flanked with an end table holding a princess cup and a half-empty bowl of soup. Though the floor was scattered with toys and the sink filled with dishes, their home felt intimate and cozy in a way that put her at ease instantly.
Kaden flitted about the room, hurriedly snatching up random toys and books off the floor, piling them into his arms.
“We’ve been meaning to paint, but my dad’s been working so much he hasn’t had time.” He disappeared into a room down the hall and returned with empty arms. “I can grab you a chair from the kitchen.”
Abby plopped herself down on the couch next to the pile of pillows and smiled at him. “Nope. I’m fine here,” she said, making herself at home and curling her legs underneath herself. She patted the spot next to her, signaling him to join her.
He hesitated, then made his way to the sofa where he sat down. His leg brushed her thigh with the movement, igniting sparks in her chest.
“Sorry. Looks like Disney flicks are our choice of television at the moment.”
“I happen to be a Disney connoisseur,” she said, wanting nothing more than to wipe the frown off his face, to reach out and smooth the furrow in his brow with her fingers.
“Oh, really? And what exactly does a Disney connoisseur entail?”
“I’ve seen every single movie. I know all the songs. I could go on naming the ways, but I love these movies.”
His eyes widened, aghast. “You do not. They’re the worst.”
“You’re probably the only person I’ve ever heard say that!”
“Something tragic always happens and most of them are misogynistic.”
“The newer ones aren’t,” she pointed out.
“Okay, what about a parent always dying. I mean, come on. Just because real life is full of disappointment and heartbreak, doesn’t mean kids’ television need to be, too. Shouldn’t they have an escape from reality?”
“Weren’t you the one that told me it’s the hard times that make the good ones worth it?” Shrugging, she continued, “I don’t know. I guess I see it as teaching kids how to bounce back. How you can live through hardship and come out on top. How there’s hope in life, even when you thought you’d lost it all.”
Kaden’s eyes shifted to hers, and he leaned closer in the silence. Bringing a hand up to her face, he tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, lingering on her skin. His thumb caressed her cheek. She swallowed. Her breath catching in her throat, she shifted her body ever so slightly, angling herself toward him.
His eyes zeroed in on her mouth, and he moved the tiniest fraction closer, allowing her an opportunity to either stop him or give permission. This is it. He’s going to kiss me.
Her pulse thudded in her ears, her blood electric in her veins.
She licked her lips and inhaled his heady citrus scent, readying herself to close the gap, when a small voice broke the silence.
“Abigail!”
She gasped, nearly jumping out of her skin. Her heart leaped as her head whipped toward the sound of Sophie’s voice.
The little girl shuffled into the room, her long, pink nightgown swishing with the movement. A floppy bunny hung at her side, and her dark hair frizzed in a curly halo around her head.
“What are you doing here?” Sophie asked.
Next to her, Kaden rested his head on the back of the couch, his breathing audible. He squeezed his eyes shut, before blinking over at his sister and mustering a half-smile, half-grimace. “She heard you were sick and came to see how you were,” he said.
“You did?” Sophie’s little hazel eyes widened, as she padded her way over to the couch in her bare feet.
“Yup,” Abby said, finding her voice.
One corner of Sophie’s mouth curved in a grin, melting Abby’s heart.
“Well, you’re just in time. Because Kaden was about to paint my nails. You can help me pick a color,” Sophie said.
She homed in on the makeup bag in Sophie’s hand, the one she assumed contained nail polish. When she dropped the bag with a clunk onto the coffee table in front of them, she lay back against the couch cushions.
“You pick the color. I’m tired,” Sophie said.
Noting her pale skin, flushed cheeks, and the sweat beading her brow, Abby frowned. “Actually, how about we watch a movie instead? I was just telling Kaden how much I love this one.” She motioned to the screen. “I mean, who wouldn’t want, like, seventy feet of hair?”
“Totally,” Sophie agreed. “But what about the polish?”
“After, I’ll pick out a color for Kaden to use once I’m gone.”
“I think that’s a fantastic idea,” Kaden chimed in, then leaned across Sophie and whispered into Abby’s ear. “I keep telling her to rest, and she won’t listen.”
The warmth of his breath on her ear gave her goosebumps.
“But I wanna do nails now,” Sophie whined, then pushed her lower lip out. “Please.” She blinked up at him, fluttering her little lashes before a cough gurgled in her chest.
Abby shrugged at him.
“Fine. I’ll make you a deal. I’ll do your nails and then it’s nap time. But you have to promise.”
Sophie pursed her lips, considering his offer before nodding. “Deal.”
“Okay, pick a color,” Kaden said to Abby.
“Definitely this one.” Abby held up a bright purple shade to which Sophie gave a nod of approval.
With a shake of the bottle, Kaden carefully uncapped it and gripped Sophie’s tiny hand in his own, then slowly brushed a wash of color over one nail.
If accuracy was any indication, he had done this a dozen times. As he worked, he stuck his tongue out of the corner of his mouth in concentration and swiped more polish on another nail, taking his time.
“Is Kaden your boyfriend?” Sophie asked, breaking the momentary silence.
Kaden jerked the brush, and a streak of purple coated her tiny finger. “Crap,” he said, glancing over at Abby and hurried to wipe off the stray polish, smearing it in the process. “Sophie, you don’t ask that.”
“Why not?” she frowned. “Are you not, then?”
Biting her lip, Abby stifled a laugh. “Kaden and I a
re friends.”
“Oh.” Sophie glanced at Abigail, her mouth flattening in disappointment before she turned to Kaden once again and asked, “Don’t you like her?”
“Of course, I like her. Look at her. How could I not?”
Warmth uncurled in Abby’s belly.
“Well, then what’s the problem?” Sophie asked, then turned to Abby. “Oh.” Her mouth rounded on the word. “You don’t like my brother.”
Heat rose to Abby’s cheeks, and her heart soared as Kaden’s dark eyes darted over at her as he worked, waiting for her answer.
“Um...well...”
“Well, what?” Sophie stared, her gaze relentless.
“Yeah, Abby. Well, what? Do you like me or not?” Kaden smirked.
Clearing her throat, Abby lifted her chin. “I do like him, whenever he’s not being annoying. Like now.”
Kaden chuckled.
“So, if you like him and he likes you, what’s the problem?”
Their eyes locked, and the temperature in the room rose from warm to inferno as everything else faded away.
“So, he’s just a wuss then,” Sophie blurted, shooting daggers at him with her eyes. “Too afraid to ask you out. So lame.”
Abby choked on a spurt of laughter, which only encouraged her.
Sophie rolled her eyes. “Or is it because dad doesn’t like her?”
Abby’s smile vanished at the truth.
“Dad doesn’t not like her,” Kaden said, glancing at her. “He just doesn’t like the idea of me having commitments or attachments or...whatever. Dad doesn’t like anyone.”
“He thinks she’s a bad influence.”
Kaden glared at his sister, and Abigail had to admit, though the truth hurt, she appreciated her honesty. With Sophie, at least you knew where you stood.
“I heard you guys talking yesterday in the hospital when you thought I was asleep,” she said.
“It’s rude to eavesdrop,” Kaden scolded, but Sophie simply shrugged.
A moment later, he popped the brush back in the bottle.
“Done,” he announced, and Sophie settled back into the couch to finish watching her movie. Not even five minutes passed before she fell asleep. Her little chest rose and fell with her breath, her expression peaceful.
