by Aron Lewes
“What's Obanon?” whispered Donnabella, who was back on her feet and dusting sand from her dress.
“It's the capital city of Regus' empire,” Sharman quietly explained to the curious witch. “If Regus is here, I assume it's nearby.”
Relief eased the tension in Sharman's sunburned shoulders when the king carrier's door popped open. “Of course, Sharman, of course!” the emperor exclaimed. “Do come in!”
Donnabella climbed in first. When she had her first glimpse of the emperor, she had to clap a hand over her mouth to stifle her reaction.
Emperor Regus was naked.
His brown skin, hairy chest and round belly were on full display. Thankfully, he had a large tome on his lap, so she wasn't subjected to his manly bits.
“I'm riding in a dwarf-drawn carriage with two naked men,” the witch whispered under her breath. “Unbelievable.”
“So, Sharman, how is your father?” Emperor Regus asked. However, Sharman was so stunned by the emperor's nakedness, it took him a moment to respond.
“Uhh...”
When the king carrier moved, the dwarven chant resumed. “Heave ho... heave heave ho... heave ho... heave heave ho.”
“King Alexandus, Sharman!” Regus pressed him for an answer. “How is he?”
“He's, uhhh... he's well.” When Sharman glanced at Donnabella, he wasn't surprised by the witch's furrowed brow. “Uh... Your Majesty... why are you not wearing any clothes?”
“Why are you not wearing any clothes?” the chuckling king fired back at him. “Actually, Prince Sharman, I am wearing clothes. You just can't see them. They're invisible. Isn't that fascinating?”
“Uhh... y-yes...” stammered Sharman. “Very.”
Sharman hadn't seen Emperor Regus in several years. The last time they met, Regus' hair was thick and black—now it was white and thinning. It was such a dramatic difference, Sharman barely recognized him. He wondered if the emperor had gone a bit senile in his old age.
Donnabella dared to ask, “And how do invisible clothes work, exactly?”
“I'm wearing an invisible robe.” Emperor Regus' face was so stern, he couldn't possibly be joking. “It was crafted by a magical tailor. I paid quite a pretty penny for this. I doubt anyone else could afford such a rarity.”
When Regus' tome shifted in his lap, Donnabella held her breath. She didn't want to catch any accidental glimpses of what was beneath it.
“Who is your pretty companion, Sharman?” Regus asked. “Is she the fiance I've been hearing so much about?”
“No! Heavens, no!” Sharman looked affronted by the thought of it. “She's just a, uhhh... she's just a young woman I've been traveling with. She's not important.”
Donnabella's eyebrow raised. While she didn't appreciate being described as unimportant, she was surprised he didn't identify her as a dabbler in magic. She doubted the emperor would react favorably if he knew he was sharing his space with a witch.
“Don't be rude!” the emperor chided him. “You don't want to hurt the young lady's feelings, do you?”
“Uh... no?” Sharman sounded unsure of his answer.
“Then apologize!” Regus punched his tome as he made the demand. “Tell her you're sorry for insulting her!”
Sharman didn't want to test the patience of his savior, so he turned to Donnabella and quietly said, “Sorry...”
“And now...” Regus continued, “hug her.” Sharman and Donnabella both looked puzzled, so the emperor explained, “No apology is ever truly accepted until it's followed by a hug.”
Donnabella's nose puckered as she opened her arms and leaned toward Sharman. Neither of them wanted to be tossed from the vehicle, so they reluctantly complied.
“There!” Regus exclaimed as they embraced. He didn't seem to notice the sour expression on both of their faces. “Now that you're good and forgiven, turn your attention to the window. We've just arrived!”
Donnabella's blue eyes swelled when she got her first glimpse of Obanon. Emperor Regus' impressive palace was carved into the side of a sandstone mountain. It was surrounded by colorful caravans and lazing camels. The king carrier had halted beside a bustling bazaar, where two old women were noisily haggling over the price of a scarf.
“Wow...” Donnabella whispered as she alighted from the vehicle. “I feel like I've stepped into another world.”
“It is another world!” the emperor declared as he stepped down from the king carrier. When she realized he was no longer holding his book, Donnabella spun away and squinted. “It's a better world! It isn't nearly as stuffy as Alexandus' many palaces. Come. Let us walk into the palace together!”
As the naked royals headed toward Obanon Palace, many pairs of eyes were pulled in their direction. Sharman held the blanket firmly over his private parts as they shuffled up to the palace's chiseled entrance.
“You'll join me for supper, I hope?” Regus asked. “I would love to have a pretty young lady and a pretty young prince for companions.” Regus' guards averted their eyes as the naked emperor walked by.
“We would be honored, sir,” Sharman answered on their behalf. “However... do you think I could beg you for some clothes? N-not the invisible kind, of course.” His remark was followed by a nervous chuckle.
“Absolutely, Sharman! And your lovely companion will be outfitted as well,” Regus promised them. “As you might know, Obanon Palace is not particularly large... at least, not in comparison to your Winter Palace. I have quite a few cousins staying here right now, so... unfortunately the two of you will have to share a room.”
A dissatisfied sneer appeared on Donnabella's face. “Really?” she croaked.
“Yeeeees. I'm sorry, dear. I'm quite sorry,” Regus jovially apologized. Torchlight flickered as they marched down the palace's cool, stone hallways. As she walked behind the naked emperor, Donnabella's eyes tried to avoid his bum. “You'll be staying here...” Regus suddenly stopped in front of an ovular, stained glass door. “You have no complaints, I hope?”
Sharman opened the door and peered into the room. “No. No complaints.”
“Good. Then I'll see you later. A servant will come around to fetch you for supper.” The emperor flashed a smile at Donnabella, but the gesture wasn't returned. “Good day.”
When the naked emperor marched away, Donnabella ran into the room, collapsed on the bed, and bellowed, “Thank god he's gone!” As she rolled on her side, she added, “Now... if only I can think of a way to get rid of you.”
“If only I could think of a way to get rid of you!” Prince Sharman retorted. “Loathsome witch.”
“Snobbish prince!” Donnabella sat up and scowled. “Itinerantus dissipatia...”
“And once again, you try and fail,” Sharman heckled her. “One of these days, you might actually get a spell to work. I think I would be utterly shocked.” Out of nowhere, Sharman punched himself in the face. “Ow!”
“I got that spell to work,” Donnabella pointed out as the prince punched himself again. “And that one.”
“Okaaay!” Sharman whimpered pitifully as he evaded another blow from his own flying fist. “Stop making me punch myself! Please! I can barely hold up my blanket right now! Do you want to see me naked again?”
Donnabella ended his misery with a wave of her hand. “God...” the witch grumbled as she collapsed into bed. “I can't believe I have to see that stupid emperor again!”
And she would see him much sooner than she expected. As soon as the servants delivered their new clothes, the emperor summoned them to supper. Sharman had barely hopped into his trousers when mealtime was announced.
When they entered the dining room, the Emperor of Obanon was wearing his invisible robe. Again. Ignoring his nakedness, Donnabella ran to the table, seized a goblet, and tossed the entire cup of juice down her throat.
“Your young friend was thirsty, I see,” Regus noted as Donnabella reached for another cup. “I hope Donovan doesn't mind that she's stealing his drink.”
“Donovan?�
� Sharman repeated as he sank into one of the many vacant seats.
“My cousin, Donovan! You get to meet all of my cousins!” Emperor Regus gestured toward the empty chairs that surrounded him. “There's Donovan right there. That's Marnelle. Whitney. David. And, of course, there are the twins... Khaled and Raju.”
Sharman slowly nodded as the mad king introduced his many invisible cousins.
“Khaled would like to know if you like the steak,” Regus said as he pushed a plate toward Donnabella. “He made it himself.”
“Oh, I bet he did,” the witch chuckled as she reached for her fork.
When Donnabella had her first bite, the king asked again, “Do you like it?”
“It's delicious, yes,” Donnabella answered as she chewed.
“I don't know how Khaled gets it so tender! To be honest, I wonder if he uses magic.”
Sharman stared at the fork in his hand. He was so stunned, he had yet to take a bite. Leaning toward Donnabella he whispered, “This is why we have to share a room? Because of the emperor's invisible cousins?”
“It seems that way.” Donnabella hitched a shoulder. “He's assailed by madness. Poor man.”
“Can you use magic to straighten out his head?”
Donnabella shrugged again. “I doubt it. Besides... even if I could, my magic isn't up to the task right now. I'd have to wait.”
Leaning even closer to Donnabella's ear, Sharman whispered, “We need to get back to the Winter Palace. I want to ask for transportation, but I don't know how to broach the topic.”
All of Regus' invisible cousins had their own food and drink. When Donnabella's goblet was drained, she reached for “Whitney's.” After her long walk through the desert, her thirst was practically unquenchable.
“We have a dragon problem,” the emperor suddenly blurted. “I should probably tell you that before you get too comfortable here. It's a sand dragon. It appears in Obanon every other day or so, eats a man or a cow, and disappears beneath the sand. You never know where it's lurking, and you never know when it might reappear. It's been very upsetting.”
Sharman spoke up, “We had a similar problem at the Winter Palace recently.”
“Oh?” Regus stuffed a huge chunk of potato into his cheek.
“Indeed. I believe it was a Cedarwood Shrieker. It repeatedly attacked Westerwood, and then it ate a few guards in the Winter Palace.”
“How terrible!” The emperor's fingers vigorously drummed his bare belly as he considered it. “Dragons are awful, are they not? They're a hex on humankind!”
An idea suddenly dawned on Donnabella, whose back went rigid as she addressed the emperor. “Your Highness, I--”
He interrupted her. “I prefer Your Majesty.”
“Your Majesty, I--”
A snickering Regus interrupted again. “I'm teasing you, dear. Call me whatever you'd like.”
Donnabella's eyes rolled as she started yet again. “Your Majesty, Prince Sharman and I require transportation. If we deal with your dragon, might you provide the transportation we need?”
“Hmm...” Regus rubbed his saggy chin as he considered her offer. “You mean... you'll kill it?”
“I will,” Donnabella promised him. “Either that, or I'll drive it so far away, you'll never see it again.”
“Hmmmmm... a tempting offer indeed.” Regus' ungroomed eyebrows sprang to his forehead. “I accept! If you kill the damn dragon for me, I'll give you whatever you need.”
Prince Gideon's throat was wrenched by a long, horrified squeak when he realized his favorite attendant was gone. As he studied the Fenix-shaped hole in the wall, tears welled in his eyes.
“Where is she?” cried the devastated prince. “Where is Cinderella? Someone please tell me where she is!”
Behind him, Bruno—the real Bruno—was stroking his lengthy beard. Bruno was so brawny, the prince decided to make him a bodyguard. In a hoarse voice, Bruno replied, “Sorry, Yer Highness, but no one knows where she is.”
“Well then... find her!” Gideon demanded. “I will not rest until Cinderella is returned to me! Do you understand? I will not rest! That woman is Sharman's fiance and I wanted her for myself!”
King Orun, who was standing a few feet away from his son, tapped on his stomach as he considered the prince's predicament. “Son...” he began, “might I make a suggestion?”
“What is it, Father?” Gideon moaned. The young prince seized the pillow from Cinderella's bed and hugged it to his chest. When he found one of her blonde hairs squashed against her pillowcase, he pinched it between two fingers and held it aloft with a mournful whimper.
“I'm not saying you should replace the girl, but... perhaps you could distract yourself by finding a new attendant?” King Orun suggested. “In the meantime, our knights can continue to search for Cinderella.”
“But I don't want a new attendant!” Gideon collapsed on Cinda's sofa, crossed his arms, and exaggerated a pout. “I wanted her! How am I supposed to find someone who's even half as pretty as she was?”
“W-well...” Orun broached the topic as carefully as he could. “You could always ask the magic mirror to find someone for you.”
Gideon's eyes lit up at the prospect. Suddenly, he was on his feet and rushing to the door. “Father, you're right! Where's Soren? Tell him to fetch the mirror! I must consult the oracle at once!”
Soren, who was never far from His Majesty's side, appeared in the doorway. “Did you summon me, Your Highness?”
“The magic mirror! Fetch it at once and bring it to my room!” Gideon's eyes were burning with madness as he charged down the hall.
Clearing his throat, Soren replied, “But sir, I believe it is currently being polished, and I don't think we--”
“At once!” Gideon repeated. “If you question my command again, I'll stick a swab in your ear! Go!”
Gideon shoved Soren down the hall and continued to his room, where he sat in bed and waited for his knight to arrive.
“Stupid Cinderella...” the prince whimpered to himself. “Stupid, stupid, stupid. No one leaves me and gets away with it. No one insults me and gets away with it!”
Gideon was in the middle of plotting her punishment when Soren waddled into the room with the immense mirror. It was nearly as tall as he was, and its frame was covered in jagged quartz crystals.
“Put it on my bed, Soren,” Gideon demanded. “Put it on my bed and then leave me alone!”
“Yes, sir!” Soren carefully dropped the mirror on Gideon's bed and raced from the room, closing the door behind him.
Gideon studied the looking glass for several seconds before he apathetically chanted, “Looking glass, looking glass, in this space... show me now your ugly old face.”
Blue smoke swirled in the mirror's center as the seer's face appeared. The old, gaunt oracle yawned at the sight of Prince Gideon.
“You again, I see,” the mirror croaked. “Every time someone wakes me, I always hope it will be Orun. Or a pretty young lady. Or anyone but you, come to think of it.”
“Don't get snarky with me, Mirror, or I'll shatter your face!” Gideon threatened him. “I'm not joking! I'll take a hammer to your nose!”
“Oh, settle down!” The mirror oracle rolled his smoky blue eyes. “What's your question, then? I assume you have one?”
“I do!” Gideon's eyes widened as he leaned toward the face in the looking glass. “Who is the prettiest girl in Westerwood, Oracle? I need to know!”
“Is it safe to assume I'll be damning the girl to a lifetime as your attendant?” asked the chuckling mirror. “Oh well. It's her problem, not mine.”
The oracle's face suddenly vanished. In its place, there was a young girl with brown skin and a red hood.
“Oh, she's lovely!” Gideon gasped. “What's her name? Tell me now!”
“Her name is Scarlet White, Your Highness,” the oracle stiffly replied as his face reappeared in the mirror.
“Where can I find her?”
“She lives in the de
pths of Westerwood Forest with her grandmother.” The oracle yawned again. He was ready to finish his business with the prince and return to his slumber. “There's a yellow brick path leading up to her cottage. She should be easy enough to find.”
“Good. Excellent!” Gideon's fingers twiddled maniacally as he rose from bed. “You can go away now, Mirror. I don't need you anymore.”
As the oracle's face vanished, Gideon sprinted to the door and pointed at the first guard he saw—which happened to be Rank.
“You!” Gideon exclaimed. “You there! Come here a moment!”
Rank twirled his walking stick as he sashayed to the prince. “Yeah? What is it, mate?” the mage asked. The prince's nostrils flared at his disrespectful tone, but he decided not to admonish him.
“I need you to find a young lady and bring her to me!” the prince demanded. “Her name is Scarlet White and she lives in Westerwood Forest with her grandmother.”
“Scarlet White?” Rank scratched his head a few times. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but he didn't know why.
“Yes. Apparently, there's a yellow brick road that leads to her cottage,” Gideon continued. “If you find her and bring her to me, I'll give you a massive reward!”
“A massive reward, eh?” A smile twitched onto Rank's lips. It was more than Prince Sharman or Donnabella ever promised him. “What sort of reward?”
“A mountain of gold. A house. I don't know... whatever you want!” the prince exclaimed. “I just need her. Scarlet White is the only person in the world who might save me from my doldrums.”
“Alright,” Rank gave the lad a nod. “I'll fetch her for you. No problem.”
When she heard Rank's reply, Gloriosa—who was in his pocket—punched his chest.
“You've gone back to kidnapping young women?” the little witch squeaked. “I'm ashamed of you, Rank. Truly.”
As soon as he parted from the prince, Rank looked down at Gloriosa and winked.
“I'll grab her, get my reward... and then I'll rescue her,” Rank claimed. “That should be easy enough, yeah?”
