Love at the End of the World

by Christiana Miller

  “We can’t live like this. I haven’t eaten since before I went to bed,” a man yelled.

  “We’ll eat these,” shouted another. He held up a soundless, motionless fur ball. He ripped it apart as others screamed in horror, but inside was a metal skeleton. The man tossed it to the ground and stepped back guiltily. Others stepped away from him.

  “We just need to wait until the Superiors set everything straight,” Greyson yelled.

  “How long will that be?” called the man who had ripped apart the fur ball. “I’ve destroyed something of value that doesn’t belong to me. They will be so angry. I’m so afraid, and no one is saying calming words or hugging. Someone needs to hug me.”

  No one went near him, even his obvious partner seemed wary of him.

  “The darkness is spreading,” Infinity said as people moved closer to one another. “I’ve never been in the dark.”

  Greyson took her hand. “Don’t let go.”

  “We will all get lost,” Infinity said.

  Greyson took her to sit near a pod. Others sat with them. One by one, their terror-stricken features was lost to view. Infinity placed her head on Greyson’s shoulder. For the first time in her life no one consoled her as tears fell. There was no reassuring voice, no calming robot or fur ball. There was no soothing drink. She had no clue how to take care of herself, because she’d never learned. Who would care for her?

  “Greyson, will you take care of me?”

  “I don’t know how.”

  “Yes, you do. You need to keep me safe and find me food and calming drinks. You need to tell me reassuring things,” Infinity said.

  “If you know what to do, then take care of me.”

  “We are in so much trouble. Aren’t we?”

  “You can’t use the word trouble. Remember?”

  Inside her mind Infinity repeated her question. Her only answer was yes, we’re in big trouble.

  Chapter 3

  When Greyson woke he was pleased to see the sun shining. “Look, the Superiors are back.”

  Everyone lunged to their feet in excitement. Greyson raced to a restaurant pad and asked for a drink. Nothing happened. He asked for food. Again, there was nothing. He smashed his hands on the pad. Infinity rushed to him and stopped him.

  Her worn and drawn features surprised him. He’d never experienced such a look. She was doing something she shouldn’t. She was helpless, and it scared him. If she was helpless, it meant he was too. He wanted to shake her and make her hug him. The idea appalled him. He had never in his life touched her with angered hands.

  “They have to be here,” she said and sobbed. “They made the sun come up.”

  “I want to go sit in my pod,” a female said.

  “They don’t open,” a man replied.

  People began to wander aimlessly, talking aloud. Some were recalling memories and sharing them. Names were exchanged. Greyson wondered how everyone could become so rebellious so fast. How could calm, sweet humans change overnight?

  Many emotions began to swell inside him. His body was upset. There was no food or calming drinks, no water. There was an odd sensation in his mind, as though his brain was pissed. The word startled him. Pissed? How did he know that word and how to use it in a sentence? What was happening to him? The fear emotion grew steadily.

  There was nothing to do. The viewing station was closed. Nothing was supposed to close. Every entertaining place was not only closed but there were roofs overhead. Humans began to make their way to the pods, but none opened. Soon the darkness came for them again, and many pressed together for warmth.

  “I’m cold,” Infinity said.

  “We’re all cold,” Greyson replied.

  “What should we do?”

  “Why would you think I would know?” He was annoyed and remembered wondering why she seemed to always eat first.

  “I’m sorry, Greyson.”

  Greyson sighed, and they nestled their heads close. He could hear others whispering. There were words spoken he had never heard before, yet he understood them. Many memories were being shared. Someone spoke of a fire. The word was vaguely familiar. Other, stranger words were mentioned.

  “Infinity, what’s sex?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Wrapped in one another’s embrace, they fell into fitful sleep.

  * * * *

  Three more times the sun rose only to have darkness claim them again. Many sobbed as they wandered. They were a pitiful bunch, begging for the Superiors to save them. Many asked others to care for them, but no one knew how.

  Greyson placed a hand to his quivering belly. He had never known hunger, and now it consumed his life. Each time the sun rose the hurt was worse and shaking quivered his body into tiredness.

  “What is that over there?” someone shouted.

  Greyson cast his eyes in the direction they pointed in. A massive silver wall towered above them. It hadn’t been there a few moments ago. Greyson grew more frightened. He knew something bad had happened and the Superiors were gone for good. The thought was nerve shattering.

  “I’ve never seen that before,” he said and took Infinity by the hand.

  The wall was smooth and shined in the sun. He wondered how high it was. Greyson didn’t understand counting past the number five. They were allowed five calming shakes a day and endless water. To him the wall was endless. In a world where money didn’t matter, numbers didn’t matter either. He looked around and wondered for the first time how many people he was seeing. They were all near his age.

  If people were calming drinks, he imagined there were five sets, then five more sets. He shook his head in confusion, then counted five more sets of five. Somewhere inside something nagged at him. His grandmother singing a counting song. At one point humans could count very high. Not that it mattered now...you couldn’t eat numbers.

  “This wall is all around us,” a man said.

  Greyson looked at him. He said hello to this man every day and didn’t know his name. “How do you know?”

  “I’ve walked the perimeter.”

  “What’s a perimeter?” Greyson asked.

  “The surrounding area. As I walked the word came to me. And nothing is working. We are caged and will starve if the Superiors don’t come back. I don’t think they will be coming back. We need to find out what’s behind the wall. My name is Darv.”

  “I’m Greyson. It’s strange. I know everyone here but only ever knew Infinity’s name.”

  “We all have a pairing with another,” said a woman. She appeared to be with Darv.

  “How do we get over the wall?” Greyson asked to no one in general.

  “Somehow we climb it,” Darv said.

  “We’ll fall,” a woman cried out. “I need a calming drink.”

  A man went to her and hugged her. They rocked back and forth.

  “What about the pulleys from the climbing rock?” Greyson asked.

  “Everything is closed,” Darv said.

  “We can use a robot to smash the door in,” another man suggested.

  It was a scary thought to many. The man who had ripped a fur ball apart was the first to volunteer. Three men raced to get the ropes. They dragged the harnesses back. Greyson took the rope in his hands. He loved the texture; he always had. But looking at the solid, smooth wall, he felt an emotion he was unfamiliar with. Not simple fear, but terror. He didn’t like this new emotion. It hurt him inside.

  As Greyson stared at the wall he realized something important. “The ropes are useless unless we have a handhold to climb. I can’t possibly throw the rope that high. I’m used to using something to help.”

  “What if we climb on one another to reach the top and rig something?” Darv said.

  Greyson pinched his lips together, concentrating. The concept was strange as his mind worked harder than it ever had. The Superiors always sensed what he wanted. Now his body had to sense and sort his feelings. The idea was foreign, and he didn’t like it. It was easier to let another de
al with inner emotions and take over. Greyson had never been forced to do anything, and now he was being forced to think outside of his comfort zone.

  “What if we do make it to the top?” Greyson asked. “We can’t jump down. It’s too high, we might break something.”

  “Break something?” Infinity asked. “Break what?”

  “A bone,” Greyson said.

  “Is that possible?” She cocked her head and appeared confused.

  “Yes. I think so,” Greyson replied. “I vaguely remember my grandfather talking about how his great-grandfather broke a leg.”

  “Sounds horrendous,” Infinity said. She wrinkled her nose, something Greyson had never seen her do.

  “We have lots of rope,” Darv said. “If we can get you up there, we can lower you and you can pull us up. We can help too once you’re on the ground.”

  Everyone began to climb on one another, and the human pyramid grew higher and higher. Greyson grit his teeth as he climbed. They held fast so no one would fall. When he was finally perched on the top he gazed past the wall and shuddered. There were strange things growing. Tall, brown objects with green at the tips. There was grass, but in strange patches, and some was higher at different places. There were more of the tall, brown things—trees, he suspected—lying on their sides. He wondered if they were sleeping.

  Squinting, he saw an area that appeared to be water. He shook his head. It was too dark to be water. Water was clear and looked palatable. Someone called up to him to ask what he saw.

  “I think there are trees,” he said, then heard voices call out that was impossible. The only trees they had ever seen were in pictures the Superiors created. Trees weren’t real. “The grass is odd and very high and golden in places.”

  Greyson tightened the rope around himself and slipped over the side. He skidded down the slick surface a little too fast for his liking but landed safely. The person he pulled up next was Infinity. Her eyes were squeezed shut until her feet touched land. When she opened them there was moisture on her face. She clutched at him.

  “Greyson, there are new emotions inside me. Things I never thought before are hurting me. I know the word—it’s terror. How can I know such a horrible word?” Infinity said as he dragged her to his chest.

  “I feel them too, other emotions,” he admitted. “Let’s pull someone else over.”

  By the time they were done Greyson estimated there were three sets of five plus three more. Everyone else was too afraid to climb over the wall, or certain the Superiors would be back.

  The ground beneath his feet was different, not pleasing in his slippers, and he walked with his knees high for a moment. Sharp rocks hurt when he stepped on them, and sticks caught at his pant cuffs. His fear was mounting as he felt he was being attacked by foliage. There was a brown substance he was certain was dirt, or soil, that clung to his slippers. Their fields were always a beautiful, soft green. Not like this dank terrain his feet now connected with.

  “I think we should go back,” Infinity said.

  “To starvation?” Greyson said. “We waited long enough. I’m hungry. I feel strange, tired, weak. My mind is muddled. I’ve never been hungry before, not ever. This is a horrible feeling. I hate these new emotions. I didn’t know I could hate anything, especially my own thoughts.”

  “But what is there here to eat?” Infinity asked.

  Greyson was pissed that again she asked him something he didn’t know and he was forced to think up a solution. Everyone was staring at him as though he had the answer. It was awful. How did the Superiors do it?

  “At least it’s different. Look at those rocks,” Greyson said. “I’ve never seen one up close. There are rocks in the animal area. Didn’t the gorillas sometimes turn them over and eat something?”

  Greyson went and overturned a log. He almost scooted back. Creatures scurried from beneath. Infinity screamed and many people darted away. Greyson grabbed one of the bugs. He stared at the creature as it tried to wiggle away. The outer shell was hard and reminded him of the escargot he loved. The underbelly was smooth.

  His belly rumbled. With hesitance, he lifted it to his lips and bit into it. He grimaced as he chewed and swallowed loudly, but kept it down. His body screamed for more, and he bit into another, then another. Soon everyone who had come over the wall was turning over logs and rocks. Humans who would never have harmed innocent beings were desperate.

  “They’re living creatures,” Infinity cried. “You are killing them. How could you?”

  “They taste pretty good,” Darv said, munching noisily. “I don’t hear a Superior telling us to stop.”

  “Seasoned with hunger no doubt,” Greyson said and grabbed a wiggly, long creature he believed was called a worm. If a bird could eat them, so could he. They crunched between his teeth and he notice a dark substance inside. Greyson squeezed the muck out. They were better this way.

  He noticed Infinity watching them with a look of horror, her arms crossed over her chest. Greyson squeezed the insides from the worm and tried to give it to her. She refused. Greyson experienced a new emotion, anger, great annoyance.

  “If you don’t eat, you’ll die,” he said with a snarl. He shoved the worm into her hands. “You told me to take care of you. I don’t know how. What I do know is you must eat. So eat it.”

  “It’s a living creature,” Infinity said.

  “Not anymore. I squeezed the life from it.” Greyson was surprised by his words. He had never spoken harshly to her.

  Infinity looked at the worm and, shaking, took a bite. She gagged then shoved the rest into her mouth. She ate six more and three squirmy bugs before she stopped.

  “I’ve never been so sad, Greyson. Can you see the wetness on my face? I remember crying as a child and sometimes when I’m sad, but the Superiors soothed me. I’ve cried so much and no one cares. Why doesn’t anyone care?”

  “We don’t know how,” Greyson replied. “We were never taught. We aren’t cruel. We just don’t know how to behave toward one another except to wave and exchange pleasantries. I’m sorry that I can’t take care of you, Infinity. I feel I should. But there is also an...anger, that you should take care of me. Why don’t you feel the same?”

  She looked surprised. “Me take care of you? Am I supposed to? My insides are a mess. Maybe we should take care of each other?”

  Greyson filled with relief. “Yes. We can take care of each other so we won’t be afraid.”

  “All right. I think you need a place to sleep, Greyson. You need food and water, and you might be cold.”

  He gripped her shoulders, then cupped her neck. “I think you need a place to sleep, and water, and your skin feels cold. I need to find you warmth.”

  They gazed around and up at the tall trees as their feet took tentative steps to different areas. Everything was so strange. There were no places to connect with. Nothing spoke to them. Greyson had been hoping other Superiors controlled out here, but that didn’t appear to be the case.

  The bark of a tree was hard to the touch and had a different odor than he was used to. Everything had a different smell or scent. As they walked, taking in their new surroundings, Infinity cried out, and Greyson raced to where she pointed.

  “Look. This place leaks.” They stood staring at a puddle of water.

  “Why is it so funny looking?” Darv asked.

  Greyson shrugged, but the question filled him with annoyance. He knew nothing more than anyone else.

  Further into the foliage there were some tall statues that were almost completely covered with greenery. Images of humans, some of them nude. That wasn’t allowed. Who would be so rebellious? Whoever had created the statues must be long gone.

  “Why are some naked?” Infinity asked.

  Greyson had no idea and was ready to punch the next person who asked him something he didn’t know. The thought was a little thrilling.

  “Infinity, if you don’t know, then why would I?”

  “I suppose you’re right. But everyone
seems to be sharing their memories, so I thought someone might know.”

  More disturbing were the white things overhead. No one had ever seen the substance before. Strange puffs that floated aimlessly. Unintelligent was what came to Greyson’s mind. For a moment he worried they might float to the ground and swallow him.

  “Does anyone know what those things are over us?” Infinity asked.

  “I have no idea what they are.” Again, Greyson felt the urge to punch people for asking him things he didn’t know the answer to, but he really didn’t want to hit another, especially Infinity. Plus, she hadn’t asked him directly. “I’ve seen calming scenes of snow,” Greyson said. “Maybe those floaty things are snow waiting to happen?”

  “There’s a long, brownish one,” Infinity mused. “Do you think poo falls from up there?”

  “Some are in strange shapes.” Greyson spun in a slow circle as he gazed above. “That looks like a rhino. Are they pictures that change? Is this entertainment? They are very beautiful. I wonder if they fall.”

  “Look, indefinite water,” Darv said.

  They all approached a tiny, free-flowing stream. It was so narrow they could have stepped over it. Greyson didn’t like the color of the water. It was much darker than what he was used to. The water they were given flowed from a clear tube in sips. The Superiors could detect if they needed water. There had been hydrating stations everywhere. If your levels were low, a red line from the stations appeared near your feet and you were instructed how many sips to take.

  Greyson moved closer to the sides of the water; it squished under his feet and, disgusted, he now saw his slippers were wet. No lines appeared to show he needed hydrating though his cracked lips differed. He crouched, knees bent to keep his pants from getting wet, cupped a handful of water, and cautiously ventured a taste. It was brackish and he gagged, but he drank greedily. So did the others.

  He hopped over the small hydrating station and began to wander. When gazing back over his shoulder he noted only Infinity followed. Greyson wasn’t used to large groups, they asked too many questions, so he breathed a sigh of relief. He was grateful they could finally separate. He was afraid someone else would want him to care for them.