by Emma Lea
“Do you have news of the king?” I asked.
In ten years I hadn’t heard a single thing about the man that I had idolised. He simply disappeared. The insurgents had bragged about having him locked up in the dungeons that still occupied the lower bowels of the castle where we had lived, but no one had seen him since the farce of a kangaroo court that they had paraded him to. The trumped up charges were a joke and the judge obviously corrupt but the people had believed it.
Danika shook her head. “No. I know there are people working on it.”
“You have spies inside the castle?” I asked, surprised.
“Not exactly,” she said, not giving anything else away.
I turned back to Benjamin and flicked my eyes over to Von Bartham. “So what does this mean for me? And for the tour?”
Von Bartham and Benjamin shared a look.
“Nothing. For now,” Von Bartham said.
“It’s why we’ve brought Danika on. She is going to be the eyes and ears on you.”
“Excuse me?”
Von Bartham sighed. “There has been some noise about you,” he said.
Damn Freddie for putting me in his wedding party. He had pretty much outed me to whoever was looking for me. Even though I had aged ten years and grown quite a spectacular beard, I had no doubt that I had a striking resemblance to my father. If someone was looking for me, they would know who I was without too much trouble. My secret had remained so because I was never in the spotlight. No one took notice of the security detail that followed the queen because their eyes were all on the queen. Freddie had changed that by asking me to be a groomsman.
“Wouldn’t it just be easier to pull me from the detail?” I asked with a sigh.
“It’s too late to do that,” Benjamin said. “You know the queen and the prince well and you have been on the team for seven years. We can’t get someone to replace you or your experience this close to the tour. At this stage you’re more of an asset than a risk.”
“Do Alyssa and Will know?”
Von Bartham nodded. “They were updated this morning in their security briefing.”
“And they are happy with it?”
Von Bartham nodded again. “Alyssa insisted. She said she wouldn’t feel comfortable with a new team member, not on her first tour, anyway.”
I took another deep breath and sighed. “Okay. So nothing changes. You don’t want the team updated?”
Benjamin shook his head. “It’s best if it’s kept to just us for now. Danika’s job will be to look for threats around you. The rest of the team will have their focus on the queen and prince. You just need to do your job and everything will be fine.”
I didn’t like keeping this from the rest of the team. I didn’t like keeping this from Meredith.
“I don’t like the secrecy,” I said. “If I’m adding an extra layer of threat to this whole thing, then shouldn’t they be made aware of that?”
Benjamin nodded slowly. “I understand what you’re saying and I assure you I didn’t make this decision lightly. There are other unrests within the team and I really didn’t want them to lose their focus when we don’t think there is a real threat at this stage. With Danika watching your back, there isn’t any need to split the team’s focus.”
“What unrest?” I asked.
Benjamin shook his head. “I will tell you more, later. But for now just let it go. You have enough to worry about.”
I dragged my hand down my face and exhaled roughly. I didn’t know what to think of this latest news. I managed to keep the worry about my father locked away most of the time and after ten years it had gotten easier. But now that everything had been stirred up again, the old pang was back. I missed him. I missed them all. I had been able to mourn the loss of my mother and sisters, but not knowing whether my father was alive or dead was like an open wound that never seemed to heal. The whole prince-in-exile thing was a weight that I carried constantly. Some days it was light and I could almost believe that I was a normal person and then other times, like now, it felt unbearably heavy and weighed on me.
“Are we done?”
Benjamin nodded and I stood. I need out of the small space. I needed to run and to clear my head before I went on shift. I nodded to the two men and Danika and then strode out the door.
“I what?”
Benjamin looked at me like I was daft. “You need to shave off your beard.”
My hand instinctively went to my beard and stroked the whiskers that I had been cultivating since they had first sprouted out of my chin. It had taken ten years and a lot of ribbing from the rest of the team, but I finally had a beard I could be proud of and now they wanted me to shave it off.
“I don’t understand,” I said, too traumatised by the news for my brain to work through the look in Benjamin’s eyes.
He sighed and rolled his eyes. “You will be impersonating the prince,” he said slowly. “Will doesn’t have a beard, ergo…”
I really hadn’t thought this whole thing through. Of course it made sense now but when we had first talked about it they had told me a wig and dark glasses. Now, instead of a wig, I would be dying my hair and shaving my beard? I didn’t mind the hair dye so much, it would wash out, but it hadn’t even occurred to me that I would be sacrificing my beard for the country and the safety of the monarchy.
I fingered my beard again. Sadly. I heard a twitter of a giggle behind me and I turned to see the two maids that had been tasked with the job of shearing me. I had to get a haircut too. That, I didn’t mind so much. But parting with my beard was a big step. I wasn’t mentally prepared for it.
“Maybe Cody or Aiden would be a better body double for the prince,” I said, still refusing to sit in the barber chair.
Benjamin took a moment to think over my suggestion. “I suppose,” he said. “That would mean I would have to rotate one of them into Meredith’s shift. They would need to get work closely with her for the next few days and then while we were on tour they would need to buddy up.”
I clenched my fists at my sides and tried not to crack my molars with the tension in my jaw. I didn’t want Cody or Aiden anywhere near Meredith. And there was no way I wanted them to hold her hand and get all lovey-dovey with her while pretending to be the queen and prince.
The strength and suddenness of the jealousy I felt surprised me. Meredith and I had been friends for a long time before anything happened between us. And what was happening now was so new that I didn’t realise the depth of my feelings for her. Thinking about her with another man’s hands on her - even if they were only acting - was like poking me with a red hot poker. I’d be damned if Aiden or Cody got to play house with her while I watched on from the sides.
“Fine,” I gritted out. “Shave it.”
I sat in the chair and closed my eyes. I couldn’t watch. I would have to make sure Meredith knew the sacrifice I was making for her. She would owe me.
The thought made me smile. Then I frowned. Would she like the un-bearded Jamie? That thought led to other more concerning thoughts. Would she like the real Jamie? The Prince Christophe Jamie that she didn’t even know about?
I knew it was against protocol, but there was an ache in my gut to come clean to her. We had been carrying on this little clandestine affair for months now. Before I’d even known what was happening, it had gotten a lot more serious than just having fun. My reaction to her working closely with Aiden and Cody had cemented that fact in my brain. It had started out with a bit of teasing and harmless flirting. We worked well together and trained together often. We were most often paired together on shift and the constant contact had built to something more than just teammates or even friends.
“Are you ready?” Benjamin asked.
I kept my eyes closed and nodded. I needed to distract myself from what was happening to my face.
I thought about Meredith. I thought about the first time I had kissed her. We had been sparring in the training room after hours. She used to train with Alyssa befor
e Alyssa became queen. Since then, Meredith had almost seemed like she was at a loose end. I had offered to train with her. We had sparred before, and I knew she was good, but after a few weeks of training together, I realised just how good she was. Her speed and agility put me to shame - most of the time. As mixed sparring partners went, we were pretty well matched. Until I found her weakness. The body triangle. The first time I had used it on her, she had been furious. She was magnificent when she was angry. All that lovely long red hair flying around her face and those piercing blue eyes that snapped with cold fury. Even now, thinking about it, I had to control the shiver that threatened to wrack my body. I had kissed her. I didn’t know what had come over me but I had gone with my instinct and I had kissed her. And she kissed me back.
I smiled at the memory. It had been like trying to hold on to a live wire. She snapped and crackled in my arms, her anger pulsing through her and into the kiss turning it hot and dangerous. I had lost myself in the taste of her and the feel of her. When I had lifted my head and looked down into those fierce blue eyes, they were no longer snapping with fury but burned with something else entirely.
“What was that,” she had said, her voice a low growl.
“Something I have been wanting to do for a long time,” I had replied. It was a surprisingly true statement that I hadn’t realised was true until I had uttered the words.
“Do it again,” she had said.
Not one to argue with a beautiful woman, I kissed her again. The fire and electricity burned hot between us, but it was no longer fuelled by her anger. Something else burned between us now.
“All done,” one of the maids said and my eyes popped open.
The man staring back at me was a stranger. The eyes were familiar, but the clean shaven cheeks and strong jaw that I saw were foreign. It was a shock and it took me a few moments to find my voice.
“I look like I’m twelve years old,” I growled.
Benjamin laughed. It was rusty and cracked from not being used very often. In fact I probably couldn’t even remember the last time I’d heard him laugh.
“You look like that arrogant little kid that first joined the guard,” he said.
“I wasn’t arrogant,” I said, reaching up to smooth my hand over the whisker-less skin. It was surprisingly soft.
“You were a little upstart,” he said with a feral grin. “But we managed to tame you.”
I didn’t know how old Benjamin was. He didn’t look all that much older than me, but in the ten years we had known each other he hadn’t seemed to age at all.
“So I’ll do?” I asked, looking up at him.
There was something in his eyes that I couldn’t place.
He nodded once and then his eyes shuttered. “You’ll do,” he said gruffly before turning and striding from the room.
Chapter 4
Meredith
I walked into the training room and sighed. I still could not believe that I was being forced to give up the one thing I had trained my whole life for. What was I meant to do with my time? I had been too shocked and distraught over the news to ask the pertinent questions. What did being the Countess of Bellemere mean? There was no count, which meant I would hold the title independently, but were there responsibilities to go along with the title or was it in name only? As far as I knew, no one had held the title since my grandmother. There was a country estate called Bellemere in my family’s holdings…was that part of the title? Would it become mine if I accepted?
Not that a country estate would make it any more palatable. As far as I was concerned, I was getting the raw end of the deal. I had worked hard to make it to where I was. Basic training had been brutal and then I’d had to go one step further to even be considered as a candidate for the royal guard. Much like the SEALs or SAS, soldiers had to go through more specific and advanced training, so did I with the guard. Then there was all the psychological and body language stuff we had to learn. I was a soldier who had bled to be part of the guard and now I was being tossed aside. It really sucked.
The door opened and I looked up and my breath caught.
The man who walked toward me looked like Jamie but decidedly not like Jamie. I would know his broad shoulders and confident stride anywhere, but his face…his face was…I had no words.
“Jamie?” I whispered.
He grinned at me and scooped me up, twirling me around before setting me back on my feet and kissing me thoroughly.
“Hey Mer,” he said when he lifted his head. “What do you think? Can I pull off the clean shaven thing?”
I reached up and ran my hand along his smooth cheek. This skin was soft and a slightly lighter colour than the rest of his face. He had a strong jaw and his lips…wow. His lips were soft, I already knew that from kissing him, but I’d had no idea that they were as full and pillowy as they looked without the beard to obscure them. I bit by own lip as I dragged my thumb across their fullness.
“Mer?” Jamie growled and I looked up into his eyes which had gone stormy grey.
I shivered.
I dragged my hand down over his chin and felt the strong cords of his neck. He swallowed, his eyes not leaving mine.
I cleared my throat.
“It’s different,” I said. My voice was thick and cracked as I spoke.
He leaned down and rubbed his clean cheek over mine before nuzzling my neck. My eyes fluttered closed and I breathed in his scent. It was spicy and citrusy, an after shave balm maybe? Whatever it was, it was new and I liked it. A lot.
“Does this mean you want the beard to stay gone?” he asked, his voice gruff.
“I don’t know,” I said, leaning back to look him in the eyes. “It’s going to take me a while to get used to seeing you like this.”
He grimaced and untangled himself from me. He lifted a hand to rub his chin and shook his head. “I’m having a little trouble getting used to it myself,” he said.
“Why? Um, I mean,” I cleared my throat. “Why did you shave it off?”
“Because of the tour.”
“Oh.” I nodded. His job impersonating Will.
“I suggested that Will try and grow a beard in the next few days, but they weren’t keen to suggest it to him.”
I grinned. Will with a beard would be a sight to behold - all that thick dark hair.
“It wouldn’t matter anyway,” I said. “It still wouldn’t look anything like yours.”
Jamie grunted non-comittally.
I bit my lip as I watched Jamie go through a couple of stretches to warm up before we sparred. How would he take the news of me being forced out of the guard? What would it mean for us?
I cleared my throat and he looked at me questioningly.
“I-uh-I have news,” I said, walking over to the bench and sitting down.
Jamie straightened from his lunge and waited for me to go on.
“I’m leaving the guard,” I said in a rush.
His eyebrows popped up and his jaw worked as if he was trying to speak but unsure of what to say. I hadn’t realised how much the beard had obscured his facial expressions.
“When?” His voice was low and gruff.
I took a big breath and let it out slowly. “When we get back from the tour.”
He moved his gym bag and sat down beside me. He rested his elbows on his knees and his eyes looked at the floor between his feet.
“Why?” His voice was barely a whisper.
“Apparently I’m now a security risk for Alyssa.”
His head turned sharply toward me. “What?”
“Because of my father. There have apparently been threats. Von Bartham and Benjamin are concerned that if someone were to target me, Alyssa might get caught in the cross-fire.”
Jamie exhaled roughly, his nostrils flaring. I couldn’t read what was going on behind his carefully shuttered eyes.
“You thought I was leaving because of us,” I said. It wasn’t a question.
I jumped to my feet and began to pace. Jamie and I had nev
er really discussed what was happening between us. We had just let it happen organically without bothering to label it. Now he thought I was pushing for more. He thought that I was choosing to leave the guard so that there could be something more between us. And he wasn’t happy about it.
I coughed out a rueful laugh. “You don’t need to worry,” I said, “I won’t expect anything from you. I’m to be a countess. My grandmother’s title. I’ll probably be shipped off to the country to prop up an ailing estate or some such thing so there is nothing for you to worry about.”
My back was to him so that I couldn’t see the relief in his eyes. I could withstand just about anything but that.
A pair of strong arms wrapped around me and tossed me to the ground. I fought him, but he had taken me by surprise. We rolled on the mats until he finally had me trussed up in the body triangle hold and I was immobilised.
“Are you ready to listen to me now?” he asked in my ear as he held me tightly against his chest.
“What’s there to say?” I asked, not willing to give him the satisfaction of seeing me upset.
“Obviously a lot if you think I want this thing between us to end.”
I snuffed out the little flame of hope that tried to ignite inside me.
“It’s okay, Jamie. I knew that this thing between us was just temporary.”
Jamie swore softly and then flipped me over, holding my arms above my head and using his body to pin me to the mat. I looked up into his eyes and saw a fierceness there that made my body erupt in goosebumps.
“No one ever said that this was temporary,” he growled in my ear.
“That’s just it,” I said, trying to flip him off me unsuccessfully. “We haven’t said anything about what we’re doing.”
