I flinch at his words. Could swear Matteo lets out a hiss.
“Well, it’s too fucking bad you’ll never know, will you?” My fist connects with his jaw, then another into his stomach. Every time his head drops, Matteo is there to lift it back up so I can deliver more. The blood from his face soaks into my hands and clothes, and still, I don’t stop pummeling his face, not even when his flesh tears away more than it was. I don’t stop until I’m satisfied no other young woman will ever have to breathe his toxic air.
Chapter Nine
Sienna
“Please tell me you’ll be home tonight. I’m cooking. I know it doesn’t make up for the way I acted the other night. There is no excuse, Sienna. I was wrong. I won’t admit it to anyone except you.” My father expresses in an uncomfortable, out of character sentiment for him in my ear. He’s never like that. In my opinion, it serves him right to be uneasy.
On the other hand, he is wrong about admitting it to no one besides me. He owes it to Lane and his brothers. That’s not my worry, not when I need a moment in the spot where I come to feel close to my son.
Adjusting my phone, I stare into the light blue cloudless sky, thankful for the most part he isn’t trying to make up an excuse. If he did, it would add to my frantic thoughts and anger me more than I already am. Being that he wasn’t at the house this morning after I ran through the neighborhood like a crazed idiot, we’ll talk about it tonight.
“I’ll be there. Just don’t put too much garlic on the French bread.” My voice remains steady, a light laugh tumbling out—the opposite of the mixed myriad of emotions inside of me.
It’s a good thing, I suppose, if he suspects I’m overly emotional, he’d only get further upset.
“Ah, you wound me. What is garlic bread if you can’t taste the flavor? I’ll see you this evening. I love you, Bell’ Angelo. Enjoy your view, sweetheart.”
I grunt. Whether security told him where I was or not, he knows where I go on the days where I miss my son so much, my heart threatens to stop beating.
“I love you,” I whisper back, hang up, clutch my phone to my chest, and turn toward the view I was admiring before he called.
Sighing, I take the city of Houston in. If anything had the power to have me pause for a moment and consider that even though my heart is full of indescribable pain, it’s the panoramic view of the skyline lit up accompanied by the white lights weaving through the rafters surrounding the rooftop of The Grill House.
I can’t get enough of this spot. It reminds me of all the times Luca and I would stare at the New York skyline. The kid was struck with wonder with questions as to how someone could design a structure that went into the sky. As strange as it might seem, this is the one spot that I feel closest to Luca, and today I need it more than ever before.
It scares me that there might come a time where I won’t sense my son is beside me. That time will slip away like the tiny grains in an hourglass, and that he’ll forget about me. That his brain will become stained in so much poison that he’ll forget the things I taught him.
To be kind to others, respect an adult. Brush his teeth. To smile and be happy.
Then as quick as his presence envelops me, my thoughts dim to a dull aching torment that he’s locked in a dank and dark basement sleeping on a mattress in the corner of a cement floor where Joseph is treating him worse than a prisoner and Luca doesn’t understand why. He could be starving, freezing, thirsty. He could be lost in this world somewhere and not remember anything.
Despite how cruel Joseph was to me, he never was toward Luca until that horrible night, and every time I think about the fear, the anger, the worry he has to be feeling, it scares me all the more. Luca isn’t one to hold his mouth. That was one of the things I’d been working on with him. I couldn’t get it across that back talking does him no good. He might be a kid, but he’s a Mitchell, and he won’t shut up unless someone forces him.
“Your dad should be able to answer any questions you have about buildings. He owns an architect firm with your uncles,” I say, wishing both were here next to me so I could see Luca’s face when Lane explains.
At the moment, there are no lights across the skyline. No strung lighting draped across the wooden beams above me. No couples or friends out having dinner and laughing as the city is as quiet as it can get on a hotter than Hades Sunday afternoon.
Many times I’ve come out here and stared at the bright lights while wondering if Luca was still in New York where he was able to enjoy the skyline that goes on for miles. The absolute beauty and amazement of what it has to offer. There’s nothing quite like it. Although Houston’s is much smaller, Luca will love it here, especially with the football stadium a few blocks over from the restaurant.
“Luca, God, sweetheart, I miss you so much. I have things to tell you. There’s a man you need to meet, he’s your real dad, and he loves you already. You have a little sister who is the sweetest girl. You are going to adore her, Luca, and Lexi is going to be honored, having you as her big protective brother. Please do as you’re told and hold on. I know you’ll find your way back to me.” The words tremble as they come out of my mouth, my brain switching to the man that took me to his home where he held me all through the night.
I wanted to tell Lane more about Luca. Not only because he deserves to know everything, but also, when I shared things about our son with him, it didn’t feel like the air in my lungs was stale and still.
I’m sure it’s partly due to Lane being his dad. The other is what scares me when it comes to Lane Mitchell.
I crave him. I always have, always will and here we are only a few days back into one another’s lives, and the signs are all pointing to the fact that no matter how much time has past, no matter how much we’ve hurt each other, no matter if I’m frightened right out of my skull of Joseph, my body, my heart, my mind, they miss Lane.
The man is bossy, no doubt still possessive. And now, it seems like he’s taken the upper hand when it comes to taking control of everything in my life.
And I don’t think he’s doing it to control me. At least that’s what hope is telling me.
Lane is still as bold as he was—the kind of man who doesn’t take shit from anyone. There’s something else different about him, though—something deep within that I’ve tried putting my finger on all morning.
It’s kindness. That’s what lays beneath the intimidating man. He’s soft and sweet at the appropriate time. He always had it with me. It’s different than before. It’s the kind of compassion that has me wanting to grasp onto him. To change my ways and to take hold of the second chance he’s offering.
I’m not ready to let him in as far as he wants to go, and it’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that damn fright I still have when it comes to Joseph. He’s not as stupid as people might think he is. He catches wind of me with Lane and Lexi, and God help, our son.
I’m worried Lane will want to go in search of our son too. If he does and something happened to him, guilt would kill me more than it already is.
God, I hate being this woman. Insecure and mixed up. My world has been turned upside down, stomped on, flattened, and here I am, thinking about the man I’ve always loved.
It’s not right.
My phone buzzes in my hand, stealing away my thoughts. How I wish it would be Luca, but it’s not. It’s my assistant manager, Bella, letting me know she’s here looking for me.
Frowning with wonder as to why she’s here, I type out a reply telling her to meet me in my office.
I adore Bella. She’s smart, witty, and I found it odd she was already hired as the assistant manager before I arrived when the woman has more experience than me. I didn’t ask her why. Butting into other people’s business has never been my thing. Regardless, she’s helped me adjust to becoming a genuine people person without wearing my mask, without knowing the background of my life.
My bare feet sting from the heat as I quickly cross the wooden floor, wiping the beads of sweat off the
back of my neck, and make my way into the restaurant. The coolness of the air conditioning blasting me in the face when I descend the stairs and slip into my office only to jump right out of my skin when Bella is standing in the middle of the room holding the most adorable baby in her arms—nervousness coming off her thick and heavy as she chews on her bottom lip.
I part my lips, attempting to speak. I’m speechless as memories of Luca being an infant assault me. All I can do is stare at the baby. His resemblance to Luca is strikingly similar. So much so it has me closing my eyes briefly only to open them and avoid looking into his eyes.
Bella huffs out a breath before rattling off words that make sense; at the same time, they don’t. “There’s no better way to tell you than to be honest. I’m Ellie Mitchell, Logan’s wife. I’m sorry I lied to you about my identity. Lane and I couldn’t think of another way to draw suspicion off him then for me to be your assistant manager.” She pauses, takes a deep breath, and continues before giving me a chance to grasp hold of what she said.
“There are a few more things you should know too. The woman that pretended to be the owner is Renita. She’s like a mother to me. Renita took me in after my parents died. We don’t normally go around scheming behind someone’s back, not unless it’s to protect those we care about, and we care about you, Sienna.” She exhales, a slightly weary smile lifting her mouth.
I’m a little stunned and not surprised one bit. I’m amused more than anything. Impressed, and honestly, tripping all over the place in my mind about how this fairy tale life Lane is giving me makes no sense.
Goosebumps scatter across my skin. Lane meant it when he said no chances would be taken when it came to me; he’s had me covered with someone he trusts wherever I go.
He can’t protect my heart from breaking over and over with so much worry that there are times I don’t think I’ll survive. No matter how much Lane or anyone tries, they can’t.
The man has me so spun up, if I’m not careful, it won’t be long before I’m unable to recognize reality from fantasy. Because the truth is, I’d walk away and go right back to living in hell if it meant I was able to be with Luca.
A frown pulls at Ellie’s forehead, dragging me out of my thoughts. “I know you’re upset. All I have is an honest apology. I’ll answer any questions you have. I’ll help in any way I can. So will Renita and once you meet her daughter Norah, she will too. If you need space we’ll give it, need a shoulder we have that too. Just know we are here and aren’t going anywhere.”
Right. I doubt I’ll open to any of them about my past anytime soon, but to know the opportunity is there is enough for me right now.
With all that’s happened in the last few days, I’m sad to say I never even gave Renita a thought. Since the weeks it took her to train me, I’ve only seen her three times. She’s come in to check on things. She spent most of her time in the kitchen, her hands in the chef’s business, helping and telling them how to cook.
The last time I spoke with her, she was leaving on a month-long vacation to Europe with her sister and daughter.
“Does Renita live here?” I don’t know why that’s the first thing that pops out of my mouth, maybe because I felt this motherly protectiveness coming off the woman whenever she came around. Now I understand why.
A mother’s love has no boundaries. That phrase holds so much truth. I fell head over heels for Lexi within minutes. I wish more than anything I could get to know her better.
“No, she lives in New Orleans. Although she is in Europe having the time of her life. Once you become a member of Renita’s family, you’re one for life, beware though, she’ll offer her advice whether you want it or not. She’ll drive you nuts while at it too, but her heart is as big as anyone I’ve met.” Respect gleams in her eyes. A tinge of jealousy rocking under my feet. Ellie looks so happy and content.
I can’t believe this black-haired beauty is her. Uncle Gabe talked about her all the time. He thinks the world of Ellie.
I’m not sure what to say as I’m so overwhelmed—reeling that Lane is going to yank those binds right out of my hands and sweep me off my feet no matter if I try pushing him away or not.
The room turns quiet except for the sound of her son cooing away to himself as I attempt to process this information down.
“And from now on, your paychecks will be coming from Mitchell Holdings and not Wynn Industries. Wynn is my maiden name. We can talk about all that another time.” Her words come out a tad clumsy and awkward. I suppose mine would too if I were staring at a woman who can’t seem to form a sentence other than the one I did.
Speak, Sienna. You have a voice to use now. You had no problem using it with Lane, no problem talking business with Ellie before.
Lane. He’s my problem. Well, not so much a problem as a constant in my mind. He just crept right in like I knew he would.
Sneaky with his perfect face, his muscular body, his kindness. All that soft mixed in with his hard. I could go on and on.
“Well, that explains why you said you’d take care of payroll when we were delving out who would do what. Here I thought it was because I had no idea how to punch a timecard until you and Renita showed me. It was to hide Lane from me. That man is as sly as he ever was.” We both laugh slightly, a welcome break in the tension.
“You know as well as I do, how sneaky, devious and not to mention utterly handsome all three of those Mitchell men are. Lexi is like them in the sneaky department. She slides right under your skin with just one word. That girl…” She takes another deep breath and glances down at her baby. “That girl is wiser than her years. She’s a gift.”
I swallow, give her a slight nod in agreement. Lexi is precious too. As far as the three brothers, if Lane hasn’t changed in that way, I doubt Logan and Seth have either.
“Anyway, I didn’t know you were inside Lane’s house earlier. I’m sure Lexi shocked the hell out of you. I don’t mean for this to sound heartless, you meeting her was what made me tell Lane I was coming to you. I’m sorry for everything life has thrown at you.” Tears form in her eyes. There’s more to her sorry than the deceit and what I’m going through. Ellie feels terrible for bringing her son.
It makes me feel like a horrible person. Especially after all she’s done for me.
She lifts the baby’s tiny little hand from his mouth and starts to turn away from me. I stop her by placing mine on her arm.
“Don’t do that to me, please. Don’t treat me any differently now that I know who you are. I have to continue with my life, whether my heart is breaking or not. It has nothing to do with you and your son. I’d be showing him off to everyone if I were you. He’s a handsome boy. I love the name, Braxton Gabriel. My uncle had tears in his eyes when he told me you named your son after him.” I’ve rarely seen my uncle show emotion like that. It was heartwarming.
The last thing I want is for someone to feel like they can’t show off their happiness around me. I might be splintering a little more with each passing day. Entirely confused and being tugged in every direction, but I’m not heartless.
“Naming him after Gabe was the only thing Logan asked. He let me choose the first name. The two together fit. You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, Sienna. I admire your strength. If you feel the need to let go of it, come to me, please. I can’t understand what you’re going through. I do know how there are days when you feel weak, how there are times when you want the world to swallow you whole. How you feel like an alien has taken over your body because nothing around you seems right. You can give in to your weaknesses, Sienna. You have to forgive yourself, and it’s the hardest thing to do when it isn’t your fault in the first place.”
I draw in a sharp breath like I could suck some of Ellie’s strength into my lungs and store it there.
Forgiving myself seems so far out of my reach. At the moment, I can’t even see it.
“I couldn’t have described my life better. Thank you, Ellie. It’s strange hearing it from someone els
e.” A knot forms in my throat, hot and anchored down with a tangled web of emotions.
Finally, finding some courage with my heart rate speeding, I slide my index finger down her son’s chubby cheek, admiring everything cute about the little man.
Wide eyes stare up at me, sweet rolls of baby fat on his legs. He does remind me of when Luca was a baby, except his eyes, are as blue as the sky outside.
“They look alike. My son and yours. Little Mitchell boys. He’s what, three or four months old?” Luca has a little cousin. He has so much family to come home to. He’s going to be surrounded by love.
“Almost four, and yes, they do.”
“You gave up a moment of your life you can never get back for a stranger, Ellie. I don’t know what to say, except thank you again.” This woman is more incredible than I imagined her to be by giving up a lot of time with her baby for me. It shows how deep the bond of the Mitchell family is. They’ll sacrifice anything for each other.
“That’s all you need to say. It was my husband, his brothers, and Gabe, who taught me the meaning of sacrifice. Even more, you did too. I didn’t miss anything I wouldn’t have if I’d worked anywhere else. What’s done is done. I won’t turn away from family, and to me, you are. After getting to know you, I know you’d do the same for me.”
It’s strange how she feels like family to me too. As far as sacrificing goes, my little boy, the one I did it for, is now paying the price.
“I would in a heartbeat, Ellie.”
A warm wave fills my chest when we both smile at the same time.
“Now that you know, once we find a replacement for me. That is if once everything we’re throwing at you settles and you aren’t angry, I’m going back to my store. I own a consignment shop. Even though this place means a lot to me, and I care about you, I miss my store.”
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