by Peyton Meri
“Oh, I feel foolish that I never noticed before or bothered to look beyond the surface. I was too caught up in my own selfish misery. After all these years with them I should have paid more attention,” Fairly said, her cheeks flushed with shame.
“Don’t criticize yourself over it. Edward and Joya understand, I’m sure of it. Joya thought she was doing right for you. Actually, she was. Bad decisions, lots of miscommunication and self-condemnation scratched out the years we could’ve had together, Fairly. All of that is at my feet. No one else’s. All of your pain and heartache, my god! All of your suffering could have ended sooner.”
“Shhh. No more could have’s should have’s. It happened. It’s past. I’m glad you came back. The how behind it and the why, is all that matters to me, Coltin. I love you. I always have.”
“And I you, Fairly. Like nothing else in this world or beyond. I will do whatever I can, whatever I must, to prove it to you every single day for the rest of our lives. To this, I swear.”
CHAPTER EIGHT
Minna’s words came back to her and Fairly shivered and looked long and hard at the man beside her. Coltin, Lord Ratherton one day would be an earl, son to the quiet earl of Brigham. Pain, regret, sorrow, and so much more had been in her maid’s tone and eyes. Minna’s hands had shaken as she’d helped her don her getup and formulate her escape plan. Minna was right.
Fairly did not want to be in that state in five, ten or even one year from now. She ached for Minna’s regrets and all that her maid had lost. The impact gave Fairly a hard choice to look within and make.
She had planned to escape. Run from the unwanted union to Pierce.
Coltin’s gift to her- the trinket box securely tucked away, secreted inside the flap bag, just beneath the saddle.
Her sixteen-year-old heart had fallen for him way back then and the feelings had never let go. They had only increased over the years. Hence, when the chance came to be with him presented itself three years ago, she had used the opportunity to the best of her advantage.
She’d first laid eyes on him when he’d come to visit Edward a few times over the years before her seventeenth birthday. Tall and debonair, Coltin had drawn her eye to him.
Oh, he’d never paid much attention to her outside of a bothersome glance at his friend’s cousin. For Fairly, she had yearned secretly every time she caught sight of him, her young heart pining away.
Then came that night three years ago. Unmarried, lonely and grieving for her parents, her world changed. A headful of champagne and a belly full of caviar—what Joya had blamed her indiscretion on, though the countess had heaped the majority of the blame upon Coltin’s head.
Fairly had indulged in but one glass of champagne before she’d taken a stroll outside to get away from the stuffed hall, where she happened upon a sulking Lord Ratherton, pacing agitatedly in the garden. That night too, as she’d done tonight, she had asked him to go for a ride.
In his tailored matching waistcoat and trousers, he had agreed.
The hard storm had swept through, leaving torrential rains, flooding, fallen trees and limbs in its wake. The moss-covered ground quickly turned to mud in the area they’d been riding. The chestnut mare she rode injured a front leg and she and Coltin had taken shelter inside the old cottage.
Coltin had tried to keep a good decent amount of distance from her, fought hard to remain a gentleman. She had not wanted him to be a gentleman. Eventually he succumbed to her brazenness.
They had not made love in the traditional sense. No-he had shown her other ways women and men could please one another.
The French kiss to her mouth, then between her thighs. She had found sweet, incredible bliss from his experienced hot tongue. Still fully clothed, he had rubbed that hard part of himself against her hip.
Whilst in the throes of his shuddering release, guttural groans coming out of his mouth, the cottage door had been thrust open. To both their detriment, it had not been by Edward alone, but by some members of the group that had been organized for the search party to find them.
Then the rumors had flown. Fairly did not see Coltin again after that night…until now. As the rain had beat down upon the roof of the cottage she had told him her attraction. Coltin had said nothing of his, but even then, she had known. Just as she did now. He loved her.
He was back and she was not letting him go. Not this time. Not many people were lucky enough at second chances.
Getting up, Fairly walked out of the bedroom and quietly made her way outside.
Coltin’s heart thudded so loudly in his ears. She was leaving. After all they had discussed and shared, she was going to leave him this time.
At the sight of her by the trees near the horses, her hands adjusting the saddle, his heart constricted and nausea nearly sent him doubling over with the pain of pending loss. His nose stung and he sniffled. He blinked until her figure became clear again.
Be damned! He loved the woman. Hell, he should let her go if she wanted to flee his side so badly. That she had to wait until he slept to do so cut him like a knife. Turn around, his mind shouted to him, and go back inside the shack, and let her ride away with his heart trampled underfoot.
No. Not this time.
Coltin started down the steps when she turned and headed back toward him, her head down, focused on something she held in both hands. He froze, unable to move as he watched her approach. The moon spilled shadows of the forest around them and fell across her figure.
He hadn’t paid attention to what she’d been wearing. She was still in her nightgown. Her thighs bare as well as her feet.
She didn’t look up until she was almost to the stairs. When she did, she jumped, a startled shriek popping out of her mouth and a hand pressed to her heart.
“Coltin! You nearly scared the ghost right out of me,” she said on a breathless gasp.
“I’m sorry.” His voice had a hoarse hard edge to it. “I heard noises and when I saw you were gone…” Damn his bleeding heart to hell. He could not finish.
A frown crossed her face and she walked up to the top step to stand beside him. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I had forgotten something.”
If she thought he’d believed she was running out on him, she said nothing to that effect. Instead, she went up on her toes and kissed his lips. Warm. Soft. Passionate. The kiss stirred his loins and heart. Then, she grabbed his hand and pulled him back inside, behind her.
In the bedroom, she pushed the lamp closer to the middle of the table and sat with her legs folded on the bed. “I have something to show you.”
Fairly watched his eyes widen when she pulled the trinket box out of the satchel. His eyes met hers in disbelief and wonder. Emotion played in his ash-blue eyes and her heart squeezed at the unspoken emotion she saw in them. She wanted to kiss his parted lips.
Instead, she used two fingers to sweep that wavy wayward lock back over his left temple. A pleasurable sigh escaped her lips at the feel of his tremor beneath her touch. She opened the box and pulled out the exquisite pieces of jewelry. A ruby pendant and an emerald and pearl brooch.
His audible gasp split the quiet. “You kept them,” came his choked utterance.
His voice was laced with all she’d glimpsed in his stunned gaze just seconds ago. She kissed him then. Sweet. Gentle. Slow. Then she pulled away. “I looked at this chest every morning and night for the past three years. Never could I part nor throw something so dear to my heart away. To do so would have been no less than if I had cast my own heart out of my chest.”
Coltin leaned up, placed his hand at the back of her neck and drew her flush against him. Fairly moaned deep into his mouth as he pulled her over to his side of the bed. He rolled her under him and made love to her passionately and deeply.
The night slipped into the next day. A day of loving, talking about simple things to deep things and just basking in the warmth and feelings of being together. A bliss she clung to.
They fed the horses. They fed themselves. The cottage was always stocked w
ith provisions because she spent plenty time here. Joya had wanted the small shack torn down, but Edward had given into Fairly’s pleas to taking care of it. And she had. She’d changed the outside and interior, made it comfortable. She’d lost her parents, lost the man who held her heart. This place, it had helped her cope.
The time spent here with Coltin these past two days were precious to her. Time, she did not want to end, but she knew it had to. The last thing she wanted was a repeat of that night three years ago, when they’d done much less.
She believed Coltin and that the earl would not come searching for them. Nevertheless, he was right, they needed to get back.
His naked body pressed against hers and her body reacted. His light snores made her smile. He’d fallen asleep after making love to her.
Now she ran her fingers down through his chest hair and across his belly. His snoring ceased and that part of him was lengthening before her fingers reached his hip. His body fascinated her and made her insides quiver a lot. Fairly slid down further. She heard him gasp above her head.
She wrapped her hand around his thick shaft. He tensed against her. She looked up and met his hot sleepy gaze, her eyes telling him what she wanted without speaking the words. However, it didn’t stop him. Coltin spoke the words.
“Suck it into your mouth. Cover your lips over it like I did with your nipple. Oh, Fairly, that’s it. Draw slowly on it. Yes. Just like that.” His words trailed off into deep husky groans.
Fairly knew it felt good to him because he seemed to be losing the battle with keeping his eyes open. When she closed her lips over the head of his rigid shaft, he bucked against her and lost the battle. A deep groan, that sent a shiver of intense pleasure to her thighs, exploded out of his mouth and his eyes closed in surrender.
CHAPTER NINE
The next morning as they were preparing to leave, Coltin reluctantly climbed out of bed and picked his trousers up off the floor where he’d thrown them in his hurried passionate haze of lust to get naked and inside her satin heat after they’d woken and got dressed the first time.
Fairly had been a mess. Her confidence flown. His intentions had been to ease the nerves and tension from her body with sweet, gentle caresses. That hadn’t lasted long.
Those caresses had turned ardent, their conversation into frenzied aroused kisses, and they had ended up making love again.
Now he had to wake her. Two nights had passed. Even Edward would be concerned.
In the next hour, they sat upon their mounts side by side at the short gate near the stables. Dawn was unfurling into what looked like a beautiful overdue summer day ahead. However, it didn’t feel that way to Fairly. The two nights of unimaginable passion and truths with Coltin, came full circle of what she had to face once they crossed that gate.
The calm he’d tried to instill in her to quiet her nerves before they’d left their love shelter had worn off the closer they got to Canville’s formal gardens.
Looking over at him now, his profile straight, on the back of Edward’s horse, his broad shoulders and proud expression exuded the strength and confidence she lacked and envied.
When his eyes slid over her form, leaving her shivering with renewed heat and tingling all over, Fairly set her own shoulders back. That strong jutting jaw of his and the steadfast determination in his gaze shot some gumption back into her.
She loved this man. For him she’d walk through hell and high water. She loved him like nothing else. He’d not only shown her he felt the same, he’d spoken the words, fervently, more than once.
She had to do this. She wanted to do this. Needed to. With Coltin by her side, she could do anything. Face anything.
“That’s the smile I love.”
Fairly blinked at his words. She hadn’t even been aware that she was. Her smile spread.
Birds chirped greetings and calls to one another in the trees behind them and in the fruit trees beside them. Stable hands were out and about, attending their duties. She spotted her groom, Bishop standing in the middle of the lane, a bucket in hand and a shocked look upon his tough face. He cast a glance over his shoulder in the direction of the mansion.
Fairly exhaled. So it begins.
Not only were they greeted by the grim expressions of Joya and Edward, but Pierce Wainbridge’s as well, much to Fairly’s chagrin. He stood beside her guardians glaring at her and Coltin. His dark expression did not bode well.
She was shocked at his presence. Then again she shouldn’t have been. The Sutton mansion was large enough to house several guests comfortably during a long weekend of parties.
“I can let you go first then I’ll return later.” Coltin reluctantly offered the courtesy. The last thing he wanted to do now that they were together again, was cause her any further humiliation.
“No, Coltin.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been surer about anything in my life.”
They dismounted in sync and met in front of their mounts. Fairly took his hand in hers. “We’ve made our peace with one another, now it’s time to let it be known what we feel for one another. I will not run from what I want ever again.”
“Neither will I. But until you accept my marriage proposal, I will not shame you nor will I have society shun and humiliate you again.”
“That can never happen, my love. And as far as your marriage proposal, I don’t think I heard one.”
“Fairly Synclair of Carrsel, will you do me the greatest honor in the world and marry me?”
“Yes.”
His step faltered. “Y-es? Did you just say yes?”
A sweet smile slanted up her lush lips as she met his burning gaze. “Yes, darling. Yes. Now come on, Pierce deserves to hear my refusal from my own lips.”
Hands clasped tightly, they walked from the stables toward the trio awaiting them.
CHAPTER TEN
Pierce’s dark glower outside obviously had not been as bad as she feared. Oh, he was still upset, but when they were alone in the drawing room, he looked partially relieved, or so Fairly thought or was it what she wanted to believe.
His broad shoulders had slumped when Edward had avoided a confrontation between him and Coltin, when the earl had steered Coltin away before they’d reached the veranda. The countess had wanted to accompany her, but Fairly declined. She needed to face and deal with Pierce on her own. She owed him that much.
He watched her now from where he paced, his expression piqued, in front of the brick fireplace. She could see the perspiration on his brow. She had been wrong, he was indeed, quite incensed.
Fairly swallowed. Her dry throat hurt. She wanted this done and over. She had not had a chance to bathe, change and freshen up as she’d hoped. “You’ve been nothing but a gentleman, most courteous, and very noble to me, Pierce. A good listener, too. And…” her voice trailed off as she bit her lip, contemplating her next words. She had stopped short from saying a good friend, but that was just it.
What she and Pierce had forged was a good friendship. Even if Coltin had not been in the picture, that would always be the extent of their relationship. As she thought it, Fairly now knew what had bothered her so about their strained union as the wedding had drawn closer. Had she not been in love with another man and after her talk with Minna, she probably would have balked in the end or worse yet, left Pierce standing at the altar.
Blinking with clarity of the truthful revelation, she looked up at him.
Pierce was attractive, handsome to the point he’d not have a problem finding a bride replacement soon. Someone more suitable for him. More deserving and receptive to all he had to offer. “You deserve more than what I can give you, Pierce. I would like to think that after some time has passed, that we can still be friends.”
“Is he the other half of your scandal?”
Fairly winced at his harsh icy tone then looked away. During their fast courtship, they had refrained from discussing the scandal. He’d been well aware of it. He’d been so polite when th
ey’d first met, suggesting they leave the past where it belonged and start anew. A grave mistake.
All the same, she could not blame him for his current ire. He had every right to it. After all that had happened, she should expect no less. It wasn’t as if she had expected him to grin and wish her a long and happy life. Still, hearing how he referenced the incident stung.
“Yes, my scandal. He was involved. But none of that makes any difference now.”
“You love him, don’t you?”
“Pierce, I—”
He cut her off. “Too late to deny it now, Fairly. Never mind. I suppose that cloyingly sweet sight that greeted all of us in the stable yard, says all I needed to know. To end our engagement is clearly the righteous thing…for us both.”
“Oh, Pierce, I’m truly sorry,” she said. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Of course you didn’t. Just like I know now you never would have been happy being my wife.” Fairly closed her mouth over his frosty words. He didn’t blink once, his gaze steady as he added, “I wanted to be more than a good friend to you, Fairly.”
“Oh, Pierce,” she started.
He waved a dismissive hand to cut her off, his vibrant green eyes still filled with anger and his anguish. He shook his head and without another word, he wheeled on his booted heel sharply and left her staring after his broad back.
That she didn’t feel as deeply regretful as she thought she should have at their bitter parting, Fairly realized that they both had dodged possibly making the biggest mistake in their lives. One day, when his stung pride cooled, Pierce would fully understand it and see that. At least she hoped so.
Joya met her out in the hall and pulled her toward the stairs. Fairly hesitated, stunned and curious by the raised muffled voices behind the closed study door.
