by Ryan King
Chapter 13 – A Lifetime of Service
Clarence Anderson heard the knock on his front door and was pleased to find Beau Myers. He greeted him warmly and asked him in for a cup of hot tea. Anderson could tell right away that Beau was upset about something and he probably knew why.
The last few weeks were euphoric, but also difficult for Anderson. While they all celebrated the victory over the WTR, many took sides over Anderson’s actions following the Battle of Fulton. Some even tried to blame Beau and save Anderson the disgrace, but Anderson refused to let that happen.
General Nathan Taylor’s official investigation was quick and efficient. It cleared General Anderson of any criminal actions or negligence. His overall performance at the Battle of Fulton was officially applauded. Despite this, Anderson knew that a cloud would hang over him for the rest of his life casting a shadow over everyone he was around. This was why he resigned his position officially after he was cleared, entering his second retirement.
Although the retirement was bittersweet, the days back in his little house collecting his thoughts, gardening, and writing in his journals felt good. Peace and acceptance came upon him. Although he wished the actions he was forced to take at the battle had not happened, he still felt they were necessary and had probably saved the army from chaos and shame it may never have overcome. His biggest regret was that he had involved Captain Beau Myers.
Anderson imagined that was why Beau wished to talk to him. He saw he was right by the official orders in the young man’s hand. Although he had been polite so far, and Anderson made a point of being oblivious to Beau’s bubbling emotion, he knew they would have a serious talk soon. He prepared the tea and they sat.
“Okay,” said Anderson with resignation. “Let’s have it.”
Beau could barely contain himself. “How could you?” he asked while slapping the orders down on the table. Anderson did not have to look at the orders, he already knew what they said. He had signed them as his last official duty before resigning.
“Son, you have no reason to follow my path,” said Anderson compassionately. “What we did was my decision and I bear the responsibility alone. This is not on you.”
“It was me that killed that man! And before you say you ordered me to, I don’t regret it, but killing that sack of shit wasn’t your decision, it was mine!” said Beau with more emotion than Anderson had ever seen.
Anderson tried to feel his way through this carefully. “Beau, why exactly are you so angry?”
Beau looked exasperated. “Because of the things they have said! We would have lost the war without you! Hell, there wouldn’t even have been an army to fight back if it weren’t for you. And now they are talking about you like you are the devil!”
Anderson smiled. “It is the way of the world. Besides, what they think about me has no bearing whatsoever on who I am. It was actually time for me to retire. I felt old before this all started. And anyway, what does that have to do with you resigning your commission? How is that going to fix things?”
“It will show them they are wrong,” said Beau with conviction. “Also, I don’t want to be associated with an organization that would force you out like this.”
“First of all,” said Anderson, “they didn’t force me into anything. I retired by my own choice and it was the right decision. Second of all, the significance of your resignation would be lost on everyone and only result in weakening us in the days to come. We will need soldiers like you. Son, my days are past, but yours are ahead. Do not let what others say keep you from fulfilling what you were meant to do and are good at.”
“Good at?” Beau threw his hand up in the air. “Sir, I’m only here because of you.”
“That’s not true,” said Anderson forcefully. “You are a strong, courageous, capable leader and only you seem to have trouble seeing that. Beau, I’m not given to taking on strays because I like them. As a matter of fact, most people disappoint me as much as I disappoint myself. I took you on, and gave you responsibility and opportunity because I thought you were worth it. And you know what? You are!”
“Come on,” said Beau turning away.
“Stop it,” said Anderson. “You’re either playing dumb, or embarrassed, or self-delusional. We don’t have time for that anymore. I appreciate a man who is humble, but I cannot pardon a man who uses that modesty as an excuse to keep from doing his best or avoiding his duty. Beau, everything we have fought to protect will need you to protect it again, have no doubt. Probably sooner than we think.”
Beau was quiet for a moment. “It was still my decision. You could have talked to me instead of simply denying my request to resign. I feel like I’m stuck doing this against my will.”
“Well, I’m talking to you about it now,” said Anderson trying not to let his impatience show. “Evidently I have a bad habit of doing that. Ask Nathan Taylor for one. It’s because I see you are making a mistake and I want to spare you that, but you’re right. It should be your decision. If you really want to resign, then let me know and I’ll talk to General Matthews. He’ll agree to it. But…before you decide to do something like that, I want you to be able to explain to me and yourself why you’re doing it; and don’t give me any crap about showing them they made a mistake about me.”
Beau looked at him for a long moment. “You’ll really get it approved if it’s what I want?”
Anderson sighed with dismay. “Yes, I will, but I still think it’s a mistake. I guess you’ve earned the right to make it.”
Beau stood there, thinking. “I’d like some time to think about it and let you know if that is okay. I’d also like to talk to…” Beau stopped suddenly and reddened.
“Huh, talk to who? I didn’t get that last part,” said Anderson.
“Nothing. Just wanted to sleep on it.”
“Right,” said Anderson with amusement. “You want to talk to that pretty nurse you met. I heard you two were getting rather close.”
Beau started to turn even redder and stammer some sort of awkward reply, but Anderson cut him off.
“Don’t be embarrassed, son, she’s a fine girl; I wish you both the best.” Anderson became nostalgic. “Believe me when I tell you life is short. I wasted time I didn’t have and should have spent with my Rita. She was gone before I was ready. Don’t waste time, when you know what you want. But, if you two are going to make a life together, she should be involved in a decision such as this. That would be very wise, wiser than I was when I was in your shoes, to include her.”
“What happened with you and your wife?” asked Beau.
“That’s a long sad story, not worth the telling,” answered Anderson. “Just understand that someone you love and respect and can make a life with is a rare thing. Don’t just brush past it. That may not ever come along again. Do you understand me?”
“I think so,” said Beau smiling. “She really is wonderful.”
Anderson just smiled and poured the tea.
“Doesn’t it bother you though?” asked Beau.
“What?” asked Anderson.
“That after so many years of service, it’s all to end like this.”
“It hurts,” said Anderson. “But not everything that hurts is bad for us. I’ve served my entire adult life, nearly forty years in uniform. Those years have been better than I could have ever hoped. I’ve done much and seen more. I’ve had the opportunity to experience life to its fullest and understand how precious and precarious it is. What I have given my whole life to serve has in return served me well. It has always been my passion to give myself totally to something worthy of that service and I found it, both in the US and in the JP. So, you’re asking me if at the end of the road I’m upset by how it ended?”
“I guess so,” said Beau.
“Have you ever heard of Socrates?” asked Anderson.
“Yes, the Greek philosopher who trained Plato.”
“Very good,” said Anderson. “At the end of his life he was convicted of treason on trumped up charg
es. They simply wanted to banish him, but he would have none of that. He forced their hand so that they condemned him to death. Even after this, friends found a way for him to escape with his life. He could have gone away from the city of Athens that had wronged him and taken his life. Do you know what he did?”
“He drank the hemlock anyway.”
“Yes,” said Anderson. “But before that, he told his friends why and it is captured in writing by his student Plato. Socrates told them a man who had enjoyed the benefits of his country his entire life, lived under its protection, and prospered through its gifts, has no right to begrudge anything that nation asks afterwards. A man can leave his nation at any time, but he who waits to do so only when his country asks something of him is no patriot. Socrates willingly gave his life because he was a patriot. It made no difference to him that his nation was wrong to ask his life of him. It was what was demanded and he willingly gave it. Socrates was a true patriot, one I have hoped to emulate. Retirement is a poor comparison to death.” Anderson sat back and smiled, “I have no reason to feel bitter, I have had a good life and I’ve gotten much from my country. Both of them.”
Anderson looked at Beau and hoped that what he was saying sank in. “Beau, this new land of ours is worthy of our best service. It is a fragile candle flame in a dark and stormy world. There is madness and death out there, but here we are protecting humanity itself from sinking into brutality and baseness. The JP needs men like us who are willing to devote our lives to its protection. There are not many like us, and rest assured, if you serve it you will not be appreciated and may end up vilified, but it is still worthy of our best service.”
“You’re still not leaving me much choice,” said Beau with a slight smile.
“Maybe, but mainly I’m telling you that the fire in your heart, and that desire to seek after something worthy of your efforts, can be found in a life of service to your home and your people. Whether or not those people appreciate your service is irrelevant.”
Beau sat quietly for a moment, “Sir, I appreciate you taking time to talk. I’m also grateful for everything you have done for me.”
“Say nothing of it. Again I had my selfish motives. I saw what you were and who you could become.” Anderson said sincerely.
“So,” asked Beau, “what will you do now that you are retired and your life of service is over?”
Anderson smiled, “What makes you think my service is over just because I’m not wearing a uniform anymore? Haven’t you been listening? A devotion to service is not a job, it’s a life. It will end when I’m dead.”
“Well, what do you intend to do now then?”
“I don’t quite know yet,” said Anderson quietly. “Rest assured, something will come up.”
