by Cole, Fiona
“It’s not about being busy, Jackson. We’ve been engaged for six months and you won’t talk about any of it.”
“And you’ve been gay for all of a year. Things take time, Jake. I didn’t rush you, so don’t you dare rush me,” I growled, stepping into his space.
I wanted to take the words back as soon as they slipped free. Watching his face crumple had my heart doing the same.
“Is that what this is about? Me not being gay enough for you?”
“No, tha—that’s not what I meant.” My hands dragged through my hair, tugging to relieve some of the tension.
“Are you putting it off because you think I’ll run again? That I’ll leave you?”
“No, of course not.”
He stepped right into my chest, speaking so close the breath of his words hit my lips. “Because Jackson, I will drop to my knees right here and show the world how much I love your cock—how much I love you. I’m sorry for being scared before, but I’ve worked hard to show you how much I would shout from the rooftops that I’m yours.”
I hated myself. He’d struggled with loving me—a man—when we first got together, but he’d claimed our love without fear now, and I never wanted to make him think I questioned it.
“I’m sorry it—I’m just sorry.”
He didn’t say anything, and I couldn’t blame him. This had nothing to do with his sexuality. None of that mattered. We loved each other, and that was all either of us cared about.
I held his cheeks in my palms, forcing his blue eyes to meet mine. “I love you.” Leaning in, I pressed a barely-there kiss to his lips. “I’m sorry I’m being difficult. I’ve just been working a lot, and I’m tired. It’s no excuse.”
He leaned in to press his own, firmer, kiss to my lips, and I accepted it with relief. “Let’s have dinner tonight and get some drinks at Voy.”
“Okay.” I nodded and stole one more kiss. “I love you. More than anything.”
“I love you too.”
A band around my chest released at his words and I knew everything would be okay.
3
Jake
Tucking the file of papers under my arm, I locked my office door. I hadn’t planned to be in the office on a Saturday, but Jackson got a call that they were short at the bar before we could follow through on our dinner plans. We agreed to meet for drinks later and I figured I’d respond to some quick emails.
I’d almost made it to the elevator when a light from an open door down the hall caught my eye—an office I was very familiar with. I strode down and peeked inside. She was standing but looking down at some papers on her desk. She brushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear, but it just fell forward again. It was such a familiar move, I chuckled.
Her head jerked up and her blue eyes locked on mine. “Hey, Jake.”
Her lips tipped up in an easy smile. A smile that spoke of years of friendship and not the heartbreak at the end of our engagement. I was lucky she forgave me because I wasn’t sure what I’d do without her in my life. Other than Jackson, no one knew me better than Carina—the woman I was supposed to marry until I fell in love with Jackson.
“What are you doing here on a Saturday?”
She stood upright, her hand immediately going to the soft curve of her belly. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“Jackson got called in and I figured I’d log a couple hours before meeting him for drinks.” She nodded in understanding. We were set to run the company our fathers had created, and I was sure we had a lot more Saturdays ahead of us.
“I’m just finishing up. Got a few more emails to get to.”
“Well, don’t stay too late.” I went to step out when I turned back. “Hey, you should come meet us later at the bar.”
She made it a point to look down at her stomach and back up to me with an eyebrow cocked. “A pregnant woman walks into a bar. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.”
I laughed because Carina could always make me laugh. When I should’ve walked away, I stayed and took her in. She was always beautiful, but the pregnancy really made her glow. Marrying her would have been a mistake for both of us, but I would always love her and because of that, I’d always worry about her. “Are you happy?”
She closed her eyes and sighed, a content smile slipping across her face. “Very.”
“You’re going to make a great mom.”
“Thank you, Jake.”
“And you’ve been quiet about who the father is, but I hope he knows how lucky he is.”
She dropped her gaze back to the desk for a moment before smiling back up at me.
“I’ll see you Monday, Carina. Don’t stay too late.”
And with that, I left my ex-fiancée behind to go join my current fiancé.
* * *
Jackson
Jake walked into the bar, and like a magnet, my eyes locked on him. It was easy with his blond hair and tall height. He caught my eye and smiled, stealing the breath right from my lungs.
He made his way through the crowd to where I sat at the bar already nursing a beer with my brother. A replacement came in not too long ago, letting me off the hook for the night.
“Hey, Andrew,” he greeted without taking his eyes off me.
Before Andrew could acknowledge his greeting, Jake had already moved on to grip my face, pulling me in for a deep kiss. I couldn’t stop the groan working its way up my chest. Every time he claimed me in public, my love for him grew. I knew how hard it’d been for him to come out as loving another man and pride swelled through me that he did it so openly—that he did it so openly for me.
“Yeah, baby. Get it on,” my brother catcalled beside us.
“This isn’t Voyeur, so I suggest you keep it PG,” Daniel—the owner of Voyeur and the other co-owner of this bar—joked from where he sat on the other side of Andrew.
Jake lingered a moment longer before pulling away and doing the manly back slap with Daniel and sitting down with his own beer.
“How was your date, Andrew?” Jake asked across me.
“So good,” he replied as he was winking at a girl across the bar. She ducked her head with a smile.
“So good you’re already looking for another?” I asked.
Andrew slapped me on the back. “Too many fish in the sea, brother, to just settle for one.”
I rolled my eyes while Daniel chuckled.
“How was the venue search today?” Andrew asked.
“Good. Gorgeous place. We’re just taking our time and looking around,” I rushed to explain before Jake could bring up the whole date issue.
“So, will you be the bride all dressed in white?” Andrew asked, a smirk firmly in place. “Do you want me to give you away? I can lift your veil and kiss your cheek. Maybe even shed a tear at how much you’ve grown.”
I gave him my best dead-panned stare and he just laughed.
A rough hand slid over mine, pulling my attention away and saving me from responding. Jake’s lips moved right by my ear. “Dance with me.”
I set my beer aside and let Jake lead me to the dance floor. He was a good dancer, but I was better. I learned how to dance dirty when I worked at Voyeur. Some people had stripper fantasies, and I was more than happy to act those out.
We moved to the beat, but when a slower Pearl Jam song came on, he gripped my hips and pulled me into him, lining our groins up perfectly. Sliding my hands around his neck, I dug my fingers into his hair and closed my eyes to the sensation of his growing erection rubbing against my own. At one point, he slipped his leg between mine just enough to rub against my aching balls and I almost came there on the dance floor.
By the end of the song, I was panting and desperate. I didn’t say anything when I linked my fingers with his and dragged him behind me to the bathroom. As soon as I made sure it was clear, I locked the door and pushed Jake to his knees.
“Suck me. I want to come in that pretty mouth of yours.”
“Maybe I don’t want to.” He looked up at
me with a taunt in his eyes but didn’t rush to stand as I undid my belt. “Maybe I want you to hold off a little longer until we get home.”
“Shut up and put your mouth to work.”
His eyes glazed over when I tugged my cock free and gave it a couple rough strokes right in front of his face. Fuck, I was so hard and if I didn’t get in his mouth soon, I was going t—
My thoughts broke off on a groan when he licked the head, dipping his tongue between the slit. “God, yes.”
I stumbled back against the bathroom counter and Jake grabbed my hips before diving down as far as he could go. The warm heat enveloped every inch as his tongue worked the underside. I buried my fingers in his hair and forced myself to look down and watch his lips stretch around my thick length.
“More,” I barely breathed the demand. “I want your throat. All the way, baby.”
He didn’t hesitate, sucking me hard. When my skin pulled too tight and electricity shot down my spine, I gripped his head and fucked his mouth hard. He held on and let me do whatever I wanted.
“You want my cum?” I asked as I held him down on me, his lips pressed to the base. He looked up the best he could, his eyes watering from the head of my cock resting in his throat and managed a nod.
I pulled him off and he gasped, but I just jerked him back on and raced to the finish. If anyone was waiting outside the bathroom, they’d know exactly what was going on in here from how loud I moaned through my orgasm. I let go of Jake’s head so I could grip the counter behind me to hold myself up. He took over, bobbing up and down and collecting every drop of my orgasm.
I stood there, gasping for air while he got to his feet and fastened my pants for me. Leaning in, he kissed me, letting me taste the salty tang of myself on his tongue.
“We need to leave now because as much as I want to bend you over this counter and fuck you. I need more time for all the things I’m going to do to you,” he growled against my lips.
I didn’t wait for any more direction. I unlocked the door and rushed out, pulling him with me, shoving bodies out of my way to reach the exit.
“Jackson,” I heard Tony, my bartender, call from behind the bar before I reached the door. I took a deep breath so I didn’t snap at him. You’d think a guy who just came as hard as I did would be less tense, but the promise of Jake’s pleasure hung like a carrot in front of me and I hated to look away from it. “Where are those straws we just got in?”
My shoulders dropped, and I gave Jake an apologetic look. “This will just take a minute. I promise.”
“I can get them,” Daniel offered.
“No, they’re behind some other shit. Not where they usually are. I’ll grab them and then we’re out of here.”
“Be fast. I need inside you,” Jake said against my neck before letting me go.
4
Jake
I bit back my groan as I watched Jackson move back to the hallway we just came from. I should have bent him over the sink when I had the chance. Anything to release the aching desire hardening my cock to dangerous levels. I’d adjusted it to my waistband and untucked my shirt, but I was sure it could’ve busted through a cement wall.
I stepped up behind Andrew at the bar and finished off the beer he had sitting in front of him.
“Hey! Just because you were cock-blocked doesn’t mean you get to steal my beer.” When I didn’t respond, he smirked. I braced myself because whenever a Fields man got that look on his face, something dirty was about to come out. On Jackson, I loved it. On Andrew, I held my breath and hoped for the best. “So, how was the bathroom?” he asked, his brows waggling as he brought his fist up to his mouth, imitating a blow job.
I couldn’t help it, I laughed and the boner straining my pants began to fade.
“God, you’re a pervert,” Daniel said with his own laugh.
Andrew shrugged, unrepentant and drank from the new beer the cock-blocker—I mean bartender—sat in front of him.
Leaning to see past Andrew, I took the opportunity to talk to Daniel while Jackson wasn’t there. “Hey, can I ask you for a favor?”
Daniel leaned both elbows on the bar, giving me his full attention. “Shoot.”
“Can you cut Jackson some slack? You’ve been working him so damn hard and he’s exhausted.”
Daniel’s blond brows shot up to meet his hairline, and I should have known then something wasn’t right. But once I had an outlet for some of my frustrations, I needed to get it all out.
“We’re trying to plan the wedding, and everything is on hold until you give Jackson a firm date on when you’re opening the Voyeur in New York.”
His brows dropped low and his lip curled. “What? Is that what he said?”
“Yeah.”
Andrew’s laugh started soft and slow but soon shifted to an all-out cackle. His head was thrown back and he even threw a few slaps to the bar for good measure. When he calmed down enough, he wiped a few tears from his eyes and faced me.
“Da fuck?” When I continued to stare at him like he’d lost his damn mind, he dropped a bomb I hadn’t ever expected. “Daniel said he could take the whole year off to get married if he wanted to.”
My chest crumpled in on itself. Slow at first, just a few cracks, but as the words sank in, it became an all-out gaping hole. Andrew laughed again like Jackson lying to me—making excuses to not marry me—was the biggest fucking joke he’d ever heard.
When he noticed my dead stare, he quickly stopped. “Oh. Yeah. Not funny.”
“What the fuck?” I whispered to myself. How could he do this? Why was he doing this?
“Yeah,” Daniel said slowly, probably noticing me pulling in on myself and just waiting for the explosion after. “He can have off whenever. He’s been asking for all the extra shifts. Hell, I haven’t seen him work this hard since he was struggling to pay for Andrew’s medical bills. He’s taking anything he can get.”
“Anything?” Cold washed over my body. “Even at Voyeur?” The club where he performed sexual acts for strangers. Where he performed sexual acts with others. Was he letting other people touch him? Oh god, I was going to be sick.
“No. Not that,” Daniel rushed to reassure me. “He wouldn’t do that, Jake. He’s just managing the floor and tending bar.”
He didn’t even like tending bar, so why was he asking to do it more often? Taking a deep breath, trying to take in oxygen so it could rush to my brain and help me think rationally for a minute, I thought about it. I thought about the last few months and tried to remember everything I’d missed.
Money.
My fist curled against the bar top and my jaw clenched. This was all about fucking money. Every time my mom brought up something, that look sparked in his eyes. The one I’d been ignoring and putting down to stress.
The more I thought about all the lies he’d been telling me, all the excuses to put off setting a date, my emotions spun round and round on the roulette wheel until they finally rested somewhere between frustration and anger and guilt for not noticing it sooner. But all of this could’ve been avoided if he’d just talked to me. We always promised to talk to each other—no holds barred.
Well, he was damn sure going to talk to me tonight, no matter what I had to do to get it out of him. We were setting a fucking date.
* * *
Jackson
I’d just pulled the straws out from where I’d kicked them in a corner when the storeroom door went flying open, clanging against the wall.
“What the fuck?” I stood, ready to yell at whoever thought it was a smart idea to slam doors in my fucking bar.
The words died in my throat when I saw Jake standing mostly cast in shadow in the dark hallway. His shoulders were pulled back and his fists clenched and unclenched by his side. My lips tipped up on one side, loving to see how eager he was to touch me. But when I scanned his body and finally reached his face, I realized it probably wasn’t desire that had him holding back from reaching for me.
The muscle in his jaw ti
cked so hard I could see it under all the scruff. His nostrils flared under his eyes that raged like an ocean in an angry storm.
I dropped the box and rushed to him, hands out, worried about what put that look there. “Jake, what the hell? What happened?”
“We’re going home, right now.”
“What? Ja—”
“Right. Fucking. Now.”
I froze, dropping my hands to my side, shocked at him almost yelling at me. Jake rarely raised his voice and never at me.
He snagged a hand around my bicep and dragged me past a guilty-looking Daniel.
What the hell was going on?
I tried to get him to stop, but he used sheer brute force to pull me all the way to the door, shoving people out of the way without apology. The cool night air hit me, and my mind was so lost trying to catch up to the change in mood, I stumbled behind him through the parking lot until we stood by his car.
“Jake?”
“Get in the car, Jackson. We’ll talk when we get home.”
“Can I at least know what the hell happened?”
He closed his eyes and seemed to be counting to ten. “Please.”
Confusion had been the only emotion rolling through me since he came barging in. But hearing his pleading tone to not push him, the way he stayed silent the entire drive back home, fear washed over me like I’d never felt before.
I was going to lose him. I didn’t know why, but I could feel it in my bones. I was going to lose him.
I should have married him when I had the chance.
5
Jackson
The click of our front door felt like the preamble to our ending—like the last shot fired that would finish us off. I was so focused on all the reasons he was going to end it, that I was completely unprepared for the rough hand to my shoulder slamming me back against the door. I winced as my head knocked hard against the surface and opened my eyes to find Jake right in my face, his eyes alight with anger.
