Could it be?
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
BELLA’S BROKEN HEART
BELLA’S BROKEN HEART
Bella and Tyler returned to the breakfast table to eat with their family. She was pleasantly surprised when no one questioned the scene she had just caused. Her parents did not insist that she return to her room. Her brothers stayed silent, though they gave her worried glances while she ate.
The food tasted good, better than it did when she was served in her room. When she was done eating, she decided she would find Joshua and talk to him about what had happened to her flower garden.
She stepped out onto the porch and stood there, looking out over the land. He was still not in the garden, it seemed, so she thought perhaps he’d gone for a ride. She carefully walked down the path to the stables.
She folded her arms across her chest and grasped her arms with both hands, hugging herself. She was still weak and felt a bit fatigued. The walk to the stables was not terribly long but it seemed like it took her an eternity to get there.
She pulled open the large door and peeked inside. It was dark, with only a little light shining through the cracks of the shutters over the windows. She reached in and felt for the lantern that typically hung there. She pulled it off the hook and felt for the tinder box that was always underneath. She lit the lantern while standing outside and then pushed the door open again.
She took a few steps inside, looking around for signs that one of the horses had been taken. She had left her family in the house, knowing that none of them had plans to ride today. The groomsman was in the pasture, running several new horses. She had seen him as she passed to get to the stables.
She held the lantern up and took a few steps inside, casting the light as far as she could.
She heard a sound to her left and swung the lantern toward it.
The light fell upon two people, standing close together. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth.
It was Joshua. And Elena.
Elena had her arms around his neck and was pressing her lips against his. Joshua’s hands were up on Elena’s arms, holding on to them tightly.
Bella made a squeaking sound and stumbled backward.
Joshua spun around, breaking off from Elena’s hold. He recoiled in horror and reached out with both hands, pushing Elena away from him.
“Bella!” He said. “Bella!”
Bella didn’t hear the pain in his voice. She only saw the look of satisfaction on Elena’s face and saw the sneer on her lips.
“What are you doing out here, Miss Bella? Shouldn’t you still be in bed?” Elena asked. Joshua turned to give Elena a furious look.
“Keep your mouth shut, Elena.”
Elena raised her eyebrows, looking at him innocently. “I’m concerned for the miss’s welfare, Joshua. That’s all.”
Joshua shook his head and turned back to see Bella was running back to the door. She disappeared through it. Before he dashed after her, he turned back to Elena. “Look what you have done! You and your foolishness. I did not want you to kiss me. I have never wanted you to kiss me!”
“I know you were resisting, Joshua, but you really have little choice in the matter, not if you want me to be silent about what you’ve done to Bella while taking care of her.”
“I have done nothing to Bella!” Joshua bellowed. “I have never hurt her! I would never harm her!”
“We shall see who believes you and who doesn’t. You cannot go after her. You must stay here with me.”
“I will not. She needs to understand…”
“Understand what? That you will never be hers? That she must be the lady she is and marry the man she has agreed to marry? I can easily destroy her reputation and you know this is a fact. I can destroy yours, too. I will not hesitate.”
“You claim to love me. You claim to want me. But your threats and your lies are evil and do not represent what love is.”
“I am evil? I am not the one dallying with a woman who is betrothed to another.”
“I…” Joshua couldn’t continue. He would have given anything not to be in the situation he was in. However, he had no idea how to make it stop. He could not think of anything he was capable of doing that would change things for the better.
“You are hurting Bella with your love, Joshua. You should accept this fact and understand where your future is. It is with me. Only me.”
Joshua clenched his jaw and balled his hands up into fists. He didn’t know how much longer he would last before he lost his temper with this woman. He took several steps away from her toward the door.
“I will go and check on her. I will see if she is okay. I do not have to do what you say.”
“You are taking a big chance, my love. You might want to reconsider.”
“Do not call me that.” Joshua shook his head, vigorously, growling his words. “Do not ever call me that!”
He ran after Bella, leaving the door to the stables open. He didn’t care what Elena did, he had to find Bella.
He was about to run up the steps into the house when he caught sight of the destroyed flower garden out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head sharply and narrowed his eyes, staring at the heap of ruined flowers. Instead of going in the house, he ran to the destruction and stared down at it. He wanted to cry out and beat his chest in a rage.
“What is this??” He yelled. He turned on his heel and headed back to the stables.
Thinking twice about it, he decided it would not be a good idea to confront Elena in the temper he was in. He would end up with a noose around his neck. Once again, he turned around and headed for the house. He didn’t know where to go or what to do. He was so angry, he thought he might explode. He wanted something to beat on.
Bella had seen Elena kissing him. She would never believe his love for her was genuine now.
He was a foolish man. Longing for a woman who could never be his, caught up with another who would rather blackmail him than find a man who would return her love.
He stopped on the porch and looked up at the big house, staring at the ceiling. “God,” he prayed quietly. “I have not asked You for help in a long time. I must hold on to my temper. I must do the right thing. I don’t know what to do, Lord. I ask for Your help and guidance. Please tell me what to do. Show me a sign.”
“Joshua?”
He turned to see Cameron coming up behind him from the garden.
“Hello,” Joshua said. Cameron looked confused, a soft frown creasing his young face.
“What happened to Bella’s garden? It looks like you chopped it down.”
Joshua shook his head, going toward the young man. “It was not me. Someone else has caused this.”
Cameron glanced over his shoulder at the ruined flowers. “You are aware of the vandalism going on in Bainbridge, are you not?”
Joshua raised his eyebrows. “Yes. I am aware of it.”
“Do you think they have attacked us as well? Perhaps it has something to do with Bella. Her upcoming marriage. They are trying to keep it from happening, perhaps.”
Joshua blinked. It was something he had not thought of before. “But the flower shop was the first thing to be vandalized.” Joshua said. “Bella does not need to buy flowers from there. We sell our flowers to Eliza. Any flowers used in the wedding will come from here.”
Cameron shook his head. “I do not know but the dress shop has been vandalized too, and it was right after my brothers went in to order a dress for Mama.”
This was news to Joshua. “I had not heard that.”
“Yes, it just happened, in fact. My brothers and I visited James at Fordham Hotel and we were informed of it. The damage is just as severe as the flower shop and it was done in a similar manner.”
The two men walked back toward the garden. Joshua found the presence of the young Cameron calming to his temper. Sorrow filled him when he gazed upon the severed flowers.
“This is quite a mess,” Cameron said. “Would you like some help clea
ning it up? I think it would be best so that Bella doesn’t see it every time she looks out her window.”
Joshua nodded. “You are right. You do not need to help me though, Cameron. I am the gardener. You are a master in this house. I cannot ask for help from you. I will get Andrew or one of the girls to help me.”
Cameron shook his head. He was already pushing up the sleeves of his shirt. “No, that is silly. Andrew is an old man and the maids already have their duties. I have nothing to do this afternoon. I will help you.”
“I do appreciate it.”
More than anything, Joshua wanted to find Bella and explain that he had not asked Elena to kiss him, nor had he been willing to do it. He had found himself in her grasp with her thin lips pressed against his and in his struggle to release himself, he had been discovered.
Would Bella believe him?
Did it matter if she did?
As he worked, he began to think that perhaps it was best that Bella believed he was not truly in love with her. As much as it pained him, he knew the right thing to do was quash his love for her and sacrifice it so that she would inevitably do the right thing. She would marry Jonathan and move to London. He would not see her again. It was for the best.
As he and Cameron gathered the flowers, he waged a private battle in his soul. His love for the young woman was overwhelming. His desire to see her happy was just as strong. Nevertheless, she had agreed to marry another. The matter was out of his hands.
He felt defeated.
He watched Cameron gathering flowers and dropping them into the wheelbarrow next to them. He had put on a large pair of gloves Joshua gave him and pulled up the stems of the broken flowers without hesitation. His face was determined and somewhat sullen. Joshua wondered what he was thinking.
“I appreciate your help, Lord Cameron.”
Cameron looked up at him in surprise, obviously pulled from deep thought. “I am no lord, Joshua. There is no need to call me that. Even Nick would not want you to call him that. We are friends, are we not?”
“I am in your employ. I am here to serve you.”
Cameron shook his head. “Joshua, I must be honest with you. When Bella was in her fever and was delirious, she called for you many times. Many times before we went to fetch you. Our sister loves you and we want her to be happy. We hold nothing against you. If it were up to myself and my brothers, you would soon be a member of this family.”
Joshua was taken aback. He stopped pulling flowers from the ground and stood for a moment, staring at the young man. “Is this the truth?” he asked in a low voice.
Cameron shrugged casually, going back to pulling up flowers. “I do not lie, Joshua. I have no reason to.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
THE TREE OF LIFE
BELLA CONFIDES IN BESS
Bella could see Cameron and Joshua working in the garden, cleaning up the mess of flowers. Her heart ached so much; it felt like it had shattered in her chest. She was seated on the window bench, one leg underneath her and the other one steadying her with her foot on the floor. Her hands were folded in her lap, clutching a handkerchief. Tears were streaking down her face but she would not allow herself to sob like a baby.
She stared through her tears, watching the two men. She wondered what they were talking about.
A knock on her door drew her attention away. She stood up quickly and moved to her writing desk, picking up the quill, and staring down at the blank paper. There was no way she could put words to the paper fast enough to make it seem like she had been writing all this time so she quickly scrawled “Dearest Jonathan” at the top and called out, “Come in!”
She hoped it was not Elena coming to taunt her. She might find herself in a situation, having to explain her behavior to her parents.
The door opened and she was relieved to see Bess come through. She let out her breath in a sigh and lifted her hand.
“Come in, come in, Bess.”
“Miss, I heard that you had breakfast with the family today and that you’ve been outside already.” She came in and saw the tears on Bella’s face. “Oh my, are you all right? What is troubling you, Miss Bella?”
Her concern touched Bella’s heart and made the tears flow fresh again. She needed to talk to someone and Katrina was not here. “Oh, Bess, I find I am in quite a quandary.”
“What is it, Miss? Is there anything I can do for you?”
“Have you seen my garden?”
“The one Joshua created for you? Your name in Hydrangeas? Yes, Miss, I saw it.”
“Someone destroyed it.”
Bess’s eyes opened wide. “Pardon me?”
Bella got up, grabbed her maid’s hand and dragged her to the window. “Look!” she said, simply, not turning her eyes down, knowing she did not want to see it.
“Oh!” Bess cried, covering her mouth with one hand. “Oh, Miss Bella, that is terrible! What happened?”
“I don’t know. Someone has been trying to hurt me and this has surely succeeded.”
“Oh I am so sorry, Miss Bella. I am so sorry.” Bess put one hand on Bella’s shoulder and squeezed gently. “You must not take it to heart, Miss. You are the daughter of the only royal family in Bainbridge. Someone is obviously jealous of you.”
“Bess, if I confess something to you, will you promise to keep it a secret?”
Bess looked at her with wide eyes. “I would never break a promise to you, Miss Bella. Yes, I will tell no one.”
Bella pulled in a deep breath, ready to let everything in her heart and mind spill out. “I have fallen in love with Joshua.”
“The gardener?”
Bella tried not to grin. “Is there another Joshua I do not know about?”
Bess looked sheepish. “I apologize. Of course, you are talking about the gardener. Oh, Miss, I did not know that. But you are betrothed to Lord Humbridge, are you not?”
“I am.”
“Why did you agree to marry Lord Humbridge if you are in love with Joshua?”
“I was unaware of my true feelings when I agreed to marry Jonathan.”
Bess nodded. “I understand. That is a horrible situation, Miss Bella.”
“Today I have discovered… I have reason to believe that he is in love with Elena, the kitchen maid.”
The look on Bess’s face gave Bella some satisfaction. Bess recoiled and looked doubtful. “I will be honest with you, Miss. I have seen them together and if it is anything, it is that Elena is in love with Joshua. I do not believe he returns the feelings.”
Bella couldn’t get the sight of Joshua and Elena kissing out of her mind. She shook her head as if to clear it but the vision was still in her mind, stamped there for eternity.
“I saw them together earlier, Bess. They were… very close.”
Bess snorted, again giving Bella a feeling of satisfaction. “Miss Bella, if Joshua were to choose between you and Elena, he would not choose Elena.”
Bella dared to cast her eyes down to the garden, where Cameron and Joshua were still hard at work. “Why do you think so?”
Bess chuckled without humor. “You are clearly the better choice, Miss Bella. How can you have doubt of that? She is plain and ignorant. You are beautiful and smart. You have a good family. She has no family. You are kind and good. She is mean and arrogant.”
“I did not know you felt this way about her.” Bella said.
Bess shrugged. “I have time to observe, Miss. I may be quiet but that is when I am observing what is going on around me. I do not like rumors and gossip the way the kitchen maids do. All of them are like that. They nearly always have something negative to say about everyone else. Tabitha is the worst with it but she is still very young and doesn’t know the damage she does with her words. Elena is older. She should know better, yet she persists.”
“You believe that Joshua is not in love with her?”
Bess made a disgusted sound. “It would greatly surprise me if he said that he was. It is my opinion, and I hope I may be open wit
h you, Miss, that the garden he created for you was a showing of his love for you. I dared not say anything. It is not my place. However, I believed it to be one of the most wonderful, sweet creations I have ever seen. Men don’t do things like that for a woman unless they love her.”
“Truly?” Bella’s voice was so low Bess could barely hear her. It was breathless and shaky.
“You truly do love him, don’t you, Miss?”
“I do.”
“You must tell him.”
When Bella looked at Bess, the young maid realized her mistress already had. She bit her bottom lip.
“Oh,” was all she said. “And so you caught him in a compromising position with Elena this morning?”
“I did.”
“I would not blame him if I were you. She is a forceful woman. She would bite the head off a snake if one tried to attack her.”
Bella tried not to grin at the analogy. “You have made me feel better, Bess. Thank you.”
“But the fact remains that you are betrothed to Lord Humbridge. Is he a cruel and bitter man? Is that why you no longer want to marry him?”
“Oh no, Bess. He has never been cruel. He is a very good man.”
Bess nodded. “I do not think you foolish, Miss Bella. I would be very surprised if you were willing to marry a man who was less than a perfect gentleman. I have seen him with you and I have always thought highly of him. He does love you.”
“Yes, he does.”
“I expect you will receive a letter from him soon. You are writing to him now, as well? I see the beginning on your desk.”
“Yes, I… I just didn’t know what to say. I want to tell him that I look forward to seeing him again. I want to tell him that I love him, miss him, and ask him how his search is going. But the words fail me when my heart is longing for another.”
“You are in a predicament, Miss. I do not envy you.”
They both stared out the window for a few minutes in silence. Bella’s heart was not aching as much as it had been, and the vision of Joshua in Elena’s arms had withdrawn back into the depths of her memory. She hoped it would never enter her mind again.
The Lady’s Dangerous Love (The BainBridge - Love & Challenges) (The Regency Romance Story) Page 14
