“Hey, at least it’s not ten thousand feet in the air.”
“Worse and worse, in my book.” He hesitated, then shot her a penetrating glance. “Would you like me to yawn and pretend I need to go to bed early?”
Dani grinned. “This isn’t about that.”
He arched his brows, for a moment looking eerily like Matt. “With guys, it’s always about that. I’m surprised a romance writer doesn’t know this.”
She crossed her arms. “What the romance writer knows is that women don’t want to read about men the way they really are. They want to read about them the way they wish they would be. It’s less depressing and sells more books.”
Luke grimaced. “Ouch. Guess I walked into that one.” His gaze shifted behind her. “You arrived just in time, I’m taking a beating here, bro.”
“I’ve never known you to mind a good beating.” Matt sounded amused. He stopped next to Dani, not touching, but close enough for her to feel the heat from his body arc the distance with more potent force than the fire blazing up from the prod of Luke’s poker.
Their little non-involvement chat should have cleared the air and put her hormones back in mothballs. It hadn’t. The problem compounded by Matt’s admission he was feeling the heat, too. It wasn’t the words, but the way he said it. The husky rasp had scraped across her nerve endings like sweet sandpaper, telling her what his words didn’t. That he wanted her as much as she wanted him. One of those times when a little knowledge was a dangerous thing.
Dani looked at him. The worry in his eyes belied his light tone. “What’s wrong?”
Matt hesitated, looking at Luke instead of her. “Hayes has been in my apartment.”
Luke frowned. “They’re sure?”
“Oh yeah.” His gaze flicked to Dani. “He killed the cop watching the place.”
Earlier she’d been grateful for his toughness for his refusal to temper the wind for her. It meant he respected her personal strength, that he scorned subterfuge.
Now it sucked big time dead toads. Ruled out the option of going fetal, whining or fainting in his arms. Just as well, since he had his hands shoved in his pockets.
“Does he know where we are?” she asked.
Matt frowned. “I don’t see how he could. There was nothing in my place to show you’ve been there, no one but Luke and I know we’re here at the cabin. We should be fine for tonight at least. By morning Anderson should have a plan and a place for it to happen in.”
“I see,” she said. He was giving her what she had asked for. A chance to end it. Who was it said that thing about being careful what you ask for because you might get it? She used to ask Spook the quote questions. There was that irony again. Good old Spook, the other account in her life she couldn’t make balance properly. It was her math. Never could make things add up right, though even she could add one plus one. How many girls could claim two killers among her acquaintance?
When Luke again proposed cards, minus the stripping, Dani accepted with relief, glad to have a distraction for her thoughts. She’d never played poker, but found her research on the subject stood her in good stead, not to mention her amateur acting experience. Several hands later she frowned down at her cards, sighed, then said, “I guess I’ll call.”
“Lay them down,” Luke said. She did. He looked at their faces fanned across the rough wooden surface, then at his hand. He tossed his in. “I can’t tell if she’s just lucky or playing us for suckers.”
“Probably a little of both,” Matt said, remembering the world tour she had taken him and Sebastian on. He had finally learned not to underestimate the romance writer. He tossed his hand in. “I’m out, too.”
He rubbed his face, happened to see his watch. He looked up in time to catch Dani trying to hide a yawn behind her hands. Her eyes weren’t smudged with exhaustion, they were black with it. How did she manage to look like hell and heaven at the same time? He would sure like to do a Joseph right now. Or better yet, do Potipher’s wife.
Dani swept her ill-gotten chips out of the middle, then began adding them to the neat stacks in front of her. Neat and poker didn’t go together. Trust a woman not to know that. She looked up and caught him watching her. Looked at his chips, then Luke’s, scattered in front of them. He could almost see her struggle, then she toppled her stacks and stirred them together. He had to smile.
Her answering smile was rueful. “My deal?”
“No.” Matt pushed his chair back. “It’s time for you to hit the rack.”
She frowned. “You’re going to torture me?”
Luke laughed. “This is that ‘women are from Venus’ and ‘men are from Mars’ thing, isn’t it?”
Matt gave him a look, then said to Dani, “Go to bed.”
Dani looked at Luke. “He must be from Mars if he thinks he can tell me what to do.”
“I can see why Ralph wanted to kick Alice to the moon,” Matt said, then added, “Did you or did you not ask me to get you home? And did I just assume you meant alive?”
“The only thing worse than a guy who says, I told you so, is one who claims you asked him to do it.” She picked up the deck of cards and expertly shuffled it. She may not play poker, but she was addicted to Solitaire. “Have you ever wondered if this whole male/female thing was actually a punishment for something we did before we came here?”
“Absolutely,” Luke said. “Especially the part where we have to live in the same house, not just on the same planet. How can a man live with someone obsessed with picking up everything?”
“Guys’ dirty socks,” Dani shuddered, “the toilet seat, the empty cartons back in the frig and that cooking—don’t get me started. I mean, I know I write romances and all that, but fiction aside, wouldn’t it be so much easier if we each had our own place and could just get together now and then for sex and maybe a movie?”
Matt choked. He couldn’t help it. Luke grinned. She ignored them both and finished, “I’ll bet the divorce rate would plummet.” She yawned. “I’m feeling a little tired, Luke. Would you mind if I called it a night?”
It was Luke’s turn to choke, though his sounded suspiciously like a chuckle. “No problem. Just pick a direction upstairs. Beds on both sides are made up. I’ll try not to wander in and join you.” Luke gathered the cards she had abandoned and absently began shuffling them. “So will Matt.”
“Thanks.” With only the briefest hesitation, she pushed her chair back. “I’ll just wash before I go up.”
Matt watched until the bathroom door closed her in, then shook his head. “Women.”
“Yeah,” Luke said too enthusiastically. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep, too?” He started collecting the scattered chips. “I’ll take the first watch. This has been so entertaining, I find I’m not that tired.”
“Glad you’re enjoying yourself. Really.” The part that really pissed him off was that he felt like a kid who wanted to tell mom that Luke was being mean. He hated it when Luke did that, hated that he still could. “For that I’ll let you.”
He pushed back his chair, stopped when he heard water running in the bathroom behind him. The creak of wood as Dani moved around. Funny how peculiarly, instantly recognizable as female the sounds were.
Water sounds changed as she turned the shower on. It was all too easy to imagine her shedding her clothes, piece by piece. The room slowly filling with steam. The rattle of the shower curtain, a slight change as the water hit her instead of the tub. She would turn in it, wetting her body, then reach for the soap, rubbing up a lather between her narrow hands—
He took a shaky breath. This was not a productive line of thought. He didn’t miss a woman in his life. He couldn’t. Okay showers and sex were the up side of having them around, but also the bait they used in the trap. Balance it against the constant hassle of trying to make an unreasonable woman see reason and it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t. Take tonight. A classic case in point. She’s tired. He notices, suggests she go to bed. Dog house time. Why? He didn’t kn
ow why. How could he know anything when what he wanted was to go in there and take over the soap…
The water shut off. The curtains rattled again. His thoughts turned to a towel moving across her wet body…
“I like your Louise,” Luke said, breaking into his thoughts.
“Her name’s not Louise and she’s not mine,” Matt muttered.
Luke dealt himself a hand of Solitaire, then looked at Matt. “You’re going to let her get away, aren’t you?”
The door to the bathroom opened and Dani came out. She wasn’t wearing his robe. She had purchased this one in Boulder. It was ankle length and made out of soft blue flannel. She’d cinched it in at the waist with a matching belt. She looked fluffy and soft, like a stuffed animal a kid curled up with. Matt didn’t feel like a kid, though he had the urge to wrap himself around her.
They both stood up at her approach. She appeared to find this amusing. She stopped, her scent wafting his way.
“Still with the coconut, I see,” he said.
“Not for long, I’m afraid. They’ve discontinued it.”
“Oh.” The robe lay open at her neck. Her skin looked dewy and soft. Her face was scrubbed clean and pink from the shower. She looked her age, but she had aged well. He tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry.
“Well, goodnight.” She continued on her way, leaving behind a trail of coconut. He watched her mount the stairs, remembering the last time her hips had done that side to side thing. If anything, the flannel was better than the leather. He was so hot he could have heated winter run-off. When she was out of sight, he grabbed his beer and downed half of it.
Luke looked at Matt with a look of awe in his eyes. “Since you’re not buying, mind if I take a pass?”
Even if he hadn’t been so tired, Matt wouldn’t have risen to a fly that obvious. “Better wait until after your watch. Wouldn’t want Hayes to catch you with your bare butt in the air, now would you?”
“Probably not.” Luke leaned back in his chair and grinned. “What time you want me to wake you?”
Matt looked at his watch. “Two hours?”
“You look like hell. I’ll wake you in three.” He pushed back the chair and headed for the kitchen.
“Luke?”
“What?” He stopped and looked back.
“Thanks.”
“Get your ass in bed before I do kick it up over your head.”
Matt nodded, left him reaching for a cup and the pot of coffee. Brothers. Can’t live with them, wouldn’t want to manage without them.
* * * *
Hayes wasn’t standing behind the door when Copeland came after him. He knew the late Bates’ second best hitter would expect him to be there. Hayes never did what was expected. He stood just past the expected place, a part of the wall, a part of the dark, the disk with the needle between his fingers. He was wearing night goggles so he could see the door slide open. He usually hunted by scent. The smell of fear and blood helped him home in on his prey better than a smart bomb, but tonight he would take no chances. Copeland was good. Not as good as him, but good enough to treat cautiously.
Hayes wanted to take him alive.
He needed him alive. This was not the time and place to kill him. This time and place didn’t fit the pattern. This time and place wouldn’t relieve his pain.
He needed relief from pain. He needed Willow more than that. When all the pieces were in place, it would fit together perfectly and he would get everything he wanted.
Everything.
* * * *
Upstairs Dani looked at the bed, but she couldn’t bring herself to climb in and close her eyes. What good was sleep without rest? Why seek out her demons? Let them find her.
She opened the window, then sank onto the covered rustic bench beneath it and leaned on the casement. Crisp, cool air flowed in, carrying unfamiliar night scents to tickle the inside of her nose. In the sky, the round silver moon hung low over the dark tree line between two snow-covered peaks. An owl hooted plaintively. For some reason it reminded her of Matt.
Probably because it sounded alone and happy to be that way.
Her problem, she decided, aside from lusting after him, was that she liked him. Which meant she respected his need for some distance, even while deploring it. A pity sex had to rear its far too enticing head to complicate the mix, though if Luke were right, pity had nothing to do with it. What was it Kelly told her that time she dumped her drink down the lawyer’s pants? Women need a reason, men just need a place?
Wanting wasn’t a good enough reason when put next to all the many reasons she had for not to giving in to her clamoring hormones, starting with Stephen and ending with Spook. What was it she and Liz used to say in college? Men were at least three credit hours. She may not be taking classes anymore, but there still wasn’t room for a man in her schedule or her life. At least not a real one. There was always room for the fictional variety.
I take my chances. The words of the song that had followed her all week came back now. Her mouth twisted. Easier to take a chance on something when there was a chance.
She heard footsteps on the stairs and turned in time to see Matt stop in front of her partially open door. He pushed the door wider. “Dani?”
“Over here. By the window.”
When he saw her sitting by the window, dangerously awake instead of safely asleep, frustration spiked again. “What you doing?”
“Admiring the sylvan splendor now that I can’t see how far up I am.”
How did she do it? How did she make him want to strangle her, laugh with her, and kiss her senseless, all at the same time? “You should be sleeping. You need the rest.”
“Sleep and rest aren’t always synonymous.” Her bare feet were starting to chill and she pulled them up under the robe, leaning her back on the casement. “Let’s just say that, like Shakespeare, my dreams give me pause.”
Matt rubbed the back of his neck. He knew she was having trouble sleeping, had read it, had seen it with his own eyes. Part of it had to do with what she had told him this afternoon, about her feeling Hayes hunting her. He didn’t understand it, wasn’t sure he believed it. She was a writer. An imagination was her stock in trade. Didn’t matter. People made their own reality. All that mattered was what she believed.
That he could do something about. He sat down by her.
“You don’t have to,” she said, dreamily.
“Have to what?”
“Do this.” She looked at him, her eyes gentle and sad. “You’re tired. Be a busy day tomorrow.”
He felt an icy chill take a run down his back. It was hard to match her calm, but he tried. “Like at the safe house?”
Her lashes covered her eyes. “No. Not like that. It’s just that—” She stopped, her shoulders rising and falling in a sigh.
He had seen the Mars/Venus guy’s commercials, too. Heard enough to know she didn’t need him to tell her what to think and feel. She needed him to listen. Not exactly his thing, but he did have the ears to try.
“Tell me what happened that night.”
She went tense. “The lonesome lawman does lonesome shrink?”
He smiled slightly. “If you want. Or you can think of it as two friends, one talking, one listening.”
“Alice has trained you well.” Her voice was too soft and husky for the attempt at humor.
Thanks to Alice, Matt knew when to keep quiet.
Her hands curled into fists, but her shoulders slumped in surrender. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“If you can’t face him in your head, you can’t face him for real.” He waited, then prompted her, “You were awake when he came—”
She looked away, her hands twisting in her lap. “Yes.” She swallowed, the movement changing the way the shadows lay on her neck. The place where Hayes had cut her was a dark line just under the line of her jaw. “We were both awake.”
“Doing what?”
“Just talking. Chatting, really. She wasn’t feeling we
ll. She got sick after we ate.” She drew her legs up to her chest, held them there with her arms, and rested her chin on her knees.
This wasn’t listening. This was a trip to hell. “Neuman took her to the hospital. But she came back. Why?”
She started rocking. “She knew I didn’t like waking up alone.”
“Because she knew about your nightmares?” She was wound so tight he could have played a tune on her. The cracks in her control were starting to show.
“Yeah. She came back for me. And she died. If she’d stayed in the hospital.”
“If she’d stayed you’d be dead.”
“Yes.”
One word, but it carried some heavy freight and a lot of mixed signals. Matt frowned. “Are you saying you wish you were dead?”
“You don’t understand.” She tried to get smaller, to keep the hurt and guilt localized, but it spread like a toxic spill through her veins. “I—she was sick. He was strong. I couldn’t…do anything. I just…watched.”
It was out. There was some relief in putting her shame and guilt on the table. She felt lighter. It hurt not to cry, but she wouldn’t use tears to sue for Matt’s mercy. He would give it. She knew that about him. Just like she knew he would never run or cower from a fight. He would never stand by and watch a friend die without trying to help. He would give his life for his friends in a heartbeat. His strict code of honor, his unflinching courage weren’t situational. They were him. He did what he had to.
Words came faster now that the guilt and shame dam was gone, pushing past her lips in harsh gasps. “I just watched. That woman. Meggie. I had a feeling I shouldn’t let her go with Stephen. But she wanted to so bad. And I didn’t want to be over-protective. Strange how we’re so afraid of that. I let her go. I didn’t take care of her.”
Hell turned into a minefield for Matt. She sat there, her back straight and her quivering chin lifted, waiting to be punished for something she hadn’t done, needing absolution for something she couldn’t have helped. No wonder she couldn’t rest. He wanted to touch her, to tell her it was all right, but Willow wasn’t breaking. She was detonating.
He wasn’t priest or the bomb squad, this was totally out of his league.
The Lonesome Lawmen Trilogy Page 24
