“How about dinner tomorrow night?” Edna Petunia asked casually.
Catherine looked for Abner in the crowd, but he was engrossed in a conversation with Cletus. She turned to Penny for help, but Penny just shrugged. Not wanting to be impolite, Catherine nodded. “Of course. We’d love to have you.”
“Excellent. I can’t wait to see you two lovebirds in your home together!” Edna Petunia pulled Catherine into a deep embrace. “This will be so much fun!”
Chapter 7
Catherine checked on the simmering sauce, then walked over to Abner. “Stop slouching!”
Abner straightened up. “Yes, ma’am.” He was trying to follow Catherine’s lead, hoping it would make her feel more comfortable.
“I don’t know about the new curtains. Do you think they look too blue?” Catherine asked.
Abner looked conflicted.
“Oh, no!” Catherine said. “You hate the curtains?”
“No!” Abner cried. “It’s not that at all! It’s just that . . . I thought they were blue.”
“They’re supposed to be gray!” Catherine exclaimed. “Edna Petunia will think I have horrible taste!”
Abner walked over to Catherine. He glanced up at the clock. It was five-thirty, and they were expecting Edna Petunia at six. He put his hands on Catherine’s shoulders and gently massaged them. “Hey. It’s going to be all right.”
Catherine felt her body relaxing even though her mind felt anxious. “This is my first time entertaining anyone as a married woman. I want everything to be perfect.”
“I wonder about that,” Abner blurted out before he could stop himself.
“What are you talking about?” Catherine went back over to the sauce, stirring it a little more.
“Does it matter if everything’s perfect? Sometimes life is imperfect, and that’s fine by me,” Abner said. “When things are too perfect, I feel uncomfortable and like I’m not allowed to be myself.”
“Oh, I don’t have time to get into this now! Edna Petunia will be here any minute!” Catherine exclaimed. A few minutes later, she gasped. “Abner! Where are your shoes?”
Abner scratched his head. “They’re on my feet, aren’t they?”
“No!” Catherine pointed to the small mat near the entry to the house. Catherine’s two pairs of heels were neatly stacked, but none of Abner’s shoes were there. “Edna Petunia’s going to know that you don’t stay here at night if your shoes aren’t out! Where are they?”
Abner gulped. “My extra pair is back in Bagley. I won’t have time to get there and back before she gets here.”
“Oh, no! She’s going to know that we’re having trouble,” Catherine fretted. Why she cared so much about how the older woman felt, she didn’t know, but she wanted everything to seem like it was good between her and Abner.
“I have an idea.” Abner picked up Catherine’s heels and put them behind the curtain in the makeshift bedroom. “Problem solved. If Edna Petunia asks where your shoes are, we’ll tell her that in Boston, people keep their shoes underneath their bed.”
Catherine wrinkled her nose. “But that’s not true!”
Abner winked. “I know it’s not true. But it will keep Edna Petunia from asking too many questions.”
“Oh,” Catherine nodded in understanding. “I see. Okay, that’s fine.” She rushed back to her pot of sauce. “I hope this turns out all right.”
“Catherine, I’m sure it will be fine,” Abner reassured her. The house looked wonderful, and the sauce smelled delicious. As long as Edna Petunia wasn’t too eccentric, he knew they would have a terrific time. Then again, it was Edna Petunia they were talking about.
Abner took a deep breath. There was something he had been meaning to ask Catherine about. He walked over toward her. “Could we talk?”
“Right now?” Catherine asked. “I’m trying to get ready for Edna Petunia!” She felt frantic even though everything was mostly ready. Wasn’t she supposed to be rushing around getting everything ready?
“Catherine, the house is spotless. You’ve already set the table and prepared for everything. I think you should take a break. Sit down for a minute. I’ll watch the sauce,” Abner offered.
Catherine considered this. “My feet are hurting pretty badly,” she admitted.
“Take a break,” Abner repeated. Once Catherine had taken a seat, he launched into the speech he had practiced in the mirror at the cabin that morning. “Catherine, I want to know if you’re serious about this marriage. I love you, and I want to make our relationship work. Do you ever think that I could move back in with you and truly live as husband and wife?”
Catherine gasped. “Abner! We need to talk about this, but does it have to be right now when we’re expecting company?”
Abner pointed to the clock. “There’s still time before Edna Petunia gets here.”
“Not that much time,” Catherine grumbled.
Abner felt himself get upset. “If we can’t talk about it now, when can we talk about it? Every time I bring it up, you change the subject.”
“I need more time,” Catherine said.
“How much time?” Abner pressed.
“I don’t know!” Catherine put her hands on her head. Why was he asking her all these questions when she needed to be concentrating on Edna Petunia’s arrival?
“I’m not trying to upset you,” Abner explained. “I’m just trying to figure out what we should do.”
Catherine threw her hands in the air. “I don’t know what to do!”
“I don’t either,” Abner admitted. “But if you had to venture a guess—”
On the stovetop, the sauce began to hiss and sizzle. Catherine jumped up from her chair. “Oh, no! You forgot to stir the sauce—it's ruined!”
Just then, there was a knock at the door. Abner and Catherine froze in terror. Edna Petunia had arrived.
Neither of them moved. Outside, Edna Petunia began banging on the door. “Hello? Are you home? I thought you invited me over for dinner!”
“More like she invited herself over for dinner,” Catherine grumbled, finally springing into action. She pulled the pot off the stovetop and began stirring, hoping to salvage what was left of the sauce. She pulled out little burnt bits with a spoon. “Don’t just stand there, Abner, get the door!”
Abner took a deep breath and went to the door. He forced a cheery smile and opened the door. “Hello, Edna Petunia!” Weren’t wives supposed to be obedient, not bossy?
Edna Petunia barreled into the small house. “My, my. This house looks spectacular. That’s how I know it’s seen a woman’s touch.” Edna Petunia winked at Catherine. As Edna Petunia got closer to the table, she began to cough. “What is that dreadful smell?”
Catherine glared at Abner, then smiled sweetly at Edna Petunia. “I’m sorry about that. The sauce cooked a little too long.”
“That’s all right, I’m not picky,” Edna Petunia declared. She pulled a hip flask out, unscrewed the lid, and took a big drink from it. “Lucky I have my cough syrup!”
Catherine nodded. She had never seen cough syrup come in a hip flask before, but she was learning that sometimes you just had to trust Edna Petunia and not question her. She set the sauce aside and pulled out the dinner rolls she had baked that afternoon. She offered the basket to Edna Petunia, who daintily scooped one up with her dinner napkin. Edna Petunia passed the basket to Abner, who pawed around with his hands before selecting the plumpest roll. “Abner,” Catherine hissed, but he simply smiled up at her.
Edna Petunia buttered her roll and sank her teeth into it. "Mm! This is delicious! Abner, you’ve got yourself a prize wife here.”
“I know it,” Abner agreed, but his face was white as a sheet.
“What’s wrong?” Edna Petunia demanded. “Are you ill?”
“The main course is ready!” Catherine exclaimed, trying to distract Edna Petunia. She scooped pasta with tomato sauce and meatballs onto Abner’s plate, then Edna Petunia’s, and then her own. “This recipe com
es from Abner’s mother.”
“That’s nice, dear!” Edna Petunia remarked. She bit into a meatball. “This is heavenly! You’d better be careful, or I’ll be here for dinner every night of the week!”
“You’re welcome any time,” Catherine said graciously.
“Any time?” Edna Petunia stroked her chin. “I’ll certainly take you up on that!”
“Well, if you do that, you should probably send notice. So we know to be ready for you,” Abner stammered. “So we can prepare.”
“Why would you need to prepare for me to come over?” Edna Petunia asked, perplexed. “I’m not fussy.”
“We know you’re not fussy,” Abner assured her. “It’s just . . . sometimes . . . we would want to know . . .”
Catherine sighed. Abner was acting so strange. Edna Petunia would surely figure out their secret. She tried to help. “If we know we have a guest coming, we can put out an extra place setting. That’s all, Edna Petunia.”
“Hang on a minute!” Edna Petunia clapped her hand over her mouth. “You’re hiding something, and I know just what it is!”
Catherine and Abner looked at each other in alarm.
“You do?” Abner asked, terrified. As soon as Edna Petunia knew something, the entire town would know shortly after. She didn’t mean to gossip, but she was connected to practically everyone. It was only a matter of time.
Edna Petunia threw her head back and laughed. Finally, she straightened up and cleared her throat. “You two want to make sure you’re not playing hide the pickle when I come over. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you!”
The conversation was so absurd that Catherine couldn’t help but emit a nervous giggle. Seeing Catherine lose her poise was so adorable that it set Abner off, and soon, the trio was roaring with laughter.
“Yes, and we’ll leave that subject alone for now,” Catherine said.
“Are you sure you don’t need advice?” Edna Petunia asked. “I’ve been married for a long time, and I’m something of an expert on the subject. You can even ask Cletus about it.”
Catherine shook her head politely. “I’ll take your word for it.”
“Let me know if you change your mind,” Edna Petunia replied.
“We surely will,” Catherine assured her. “Would you like more broccoli?” Catherine offered, eager to change the topic of conversation.
Edna Petunia licked her lips. “Absolutely!”
Catherine served Edna Petunia a few spoonfuls of the roasted broccoli she had prepared.
“You really are a talented cook, Catherine,” Edna Petunia complimented.
Catherine beamed. “Thank you, Edna Petunia.”
“Abner truly is a lucky man,” Edna Petunia remarked.
Abner grinned. “Yes, I am.” He tried to grab Catherine’s hand, but she didn’t notice and kept eating. Abner pulled his hand back.
“So, which of my bastards have you met?” Edna Petunia asked, changing the subject.
Catherine tried to get used to Edna Petunia’s shocking vocabulary. “Do you mean your adopted daughters?”
“That’s right,” Edna Petunia replied. “Each one is different, and now they all have families of their own.”
“Well,” Catherine began, looking at Abner for help, “I know I’ve met Penny at church. I’ve met Ruby’s husband at the mercantile, but I haven’t spoken to Ruby yet.”
“That’s right. I don’t think she’s met any of the others,” Abner confirmed.
Edna Petunia set her fork down with a clatter. “Well, that’s foolish! Abner, what have you been doing? Not introducing your bride to young women around her own age. She’ll have a much easier time settling in once she’s made friends!”
Catherine felt an urge to protect Abner. “Oh, it’s not his fault, Edna Petunia. I’ve made myself busy by taking on small tasks around the house.”
Edna Petunia looked around admiringly. “You have done a nice job, dear.”
“Thank you.” Catherine looked at Abner, and they smiled at one another.
“You really should get together with one of my girls, though,” Edna Petunia continued. “It took me time to make friends in Nowhere, and I had a head start.”
“What do you mean by that?” Catherine asked, curious. She had assumed Edna Petunia had grown up in Nowhere, like Abner and most of the others she’d met.
“I came from Seattle, and I moved here with a good friend of mine, Dr. Iris Harvey. In fact, if you haven’t seen her yet, you should make an appointment soon. Need to make sure everything’s in order for baby-making.” Edna Petunia winked at Abner.
“I didn’t know you moved from Seattle,” Catherine commented, wanting to steer the conversation away from her childbearing abilities. She enjoyed Edna Petunia’s company but felt uncomfortable discussing such intimate details with anyone.
“Oh, yes,” Edna Petunia replied. “I was close friends with Dr. Iris’s family. She’s the youngest of a family of girls, and she wanted to practice medicine. But no one would hire a woman in Seattle. She moved to Nowhere, and I came along with her. I worked for her before I married Cletus.”
“Wow,” Catherine remarked, impressed. “You must have had a lot of interesting experiences as a doctor’s assistant.”
“Oh, yes,” Edna Petunia chuckled. “The stories I could tell you . . .”
Catherine smiled and began to relax. She didn’t know why she had worried so much. People in Nowhere didn’t seem to care as much about manners or etiquette as her parents and their friends in Boston had. They were more relaxed, caring more about connecting and relating to one another. Catherine found that she truly enjoyed the more casual atmosphere.
Abner relaxed, too. He was proud that despite their friction, Catherine had served an excellent meal and was such a good hostess to Edna Petunia. Having dinner guests over was something he had never done on his own.
They settled into an easy conversation about Edna Petunia’s many adopted daughters and their ever-growing number of offspring. “And then there’s Gertrude. She and her husband own the bookwagon, if you’ve seen that parked around town.” Edna Petunia counted her daughters by ticking off fingers.
“Hm. I can’t say I’ve seen that before,” Catherine responded. She hadn’t spent a lot of time in town, though.
“Maybe I can come over early tomorrow, before dinner, and we could visit it,” Abner said excitedly. Gertrude’s husband Jed was a musician in addition to being a bookseller, and Abner always enjoyed his company.
Edna Petunia frowned. “What do you mean, come over before dinner, Abner? This is your house!”
Abner gulped. He had been so pleased with how dinner was going that he’d forgotten to keep the secret that he hadn’t been living in his own home for the past few days. “Uh, I meant—”
Catherine thought quickly. “I think what Abner meant was, the house is so different, sometimes he forgets he lives here!”
Abner looked at his wife gratefully. “That’s exactly what I meant. Thank you.”
“Hmph,” Edna Petunia remarked, eating another spoonful of pasta. She looked back and forth between Catherine and Abner for a moment before returning to her food with her normal passion for eating.
Catherine waited for Edna Petunia to ask them more questions about Abner’s comments. She steeled herself, trying to think of answers to anything Edna Petunia might wonder about their relationship.
Edna Petunia chewed her food for a long time, then swallowed. “You’re a strange one, Abner. I’m glad you found someone who can appreciate you.”
Abner sighed in relief. “Yes, I am, too. Thank you for arranging it all.”
“Yes, thank you!” Catherine added. She was glad Edna Petunia hadn’t pressed the issue.
Edna Petunia sat back and smiled. Nothing made her happier than to see two young people in love. She wondered if she should try to make matchmaking a bigger part of her life. “I’m so pleased to see the two of you doing so well. I should leave before I've overstayed my welcome. Afte
r all, you two are newlyweds.” She winked at Catherine. “I’m sure this one isn’t giving you any rest at all!”
Catherine blushed, still uncomfortable with Edna Petunia’s forthright manner. “I suppose you could say that!”
Abner had enjoyed the visit, but he was worried that the longer Edna Petunia stayed, the more likely they were to accidentally reveal their issues. “Thank you so much for coming, Edna Petunia. You’ll have to come back soon.”
“But remember to let us know before you do!” Catherine joked.
Edna Petunia laughed. “You two are hilarious! I’ll be back, don’t you worry.” Edna Petunia stood up. “Thank you again for a delicious dinner. And remember to take this young woman around to meet others her own age, Abner. Don’t be selfish and hog her for yourself.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Abner agreed. He walked Edna Petunia to the door, and Catherine followed.
Edna Petunia hugged Catherine goodbye, then swatted her twice on each hip.
Catherine stepped back, utterly confused. “What was that for?”
“It’s for good luck in baby-making,” Edna Petunia whispered loudly. “I can’t wait to see the babies you two make! They’ll be just beautiful!”
Catherine nodded, but she didn’t really understand.
Abner opened the door and allowed Edna Petunia to hug him as well.
“Goodbye, Edna Petunia!” Catherine called.
Edna Petunia walked out the door and untied her horse from the post. Catherine and Abner waited patiently until Edna Petunia had disappeared from view. Then Abner shut the door and took a few steps toward the sofa. He collapsed onto it in a heap.
Catherine followed suit. “I had a wonderful time, but I’m so glad she’s gone!” Catherine admitted.
“Me too,” Abner agreed. “I was so nervous that I was going to slip up again. Thank you for covering for me.”
“Of course,” Catherine giggled. “I don’t know how I thought of that so fast.”
“Well, it’s true. You really have made a big difference around here,” Abner told her, looking her right in the eyes.
Catherine looked down, feeling uncomfortable with the praise. “It’s nothing.”
Abner's Adventure Page 6
