Once he’d walked away and it was official, then he wouldn’t look back. While he still wore the collar, there was a small amount of guilt over what he’d done with Emelia.
Just the thought of her under his fingers and mouth was enough to cause an erection to strain his pants. It was when he remembered the feel of her silky, wet tightness enveloping his hard flesh that made him catch his breath. He gripped the footboard of the bed before he turned and dropped his ass to the mattress.
He slouched forward and rested his arms on his thighs with his head in his hands, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Sunday after Mass, he hadn’t stopped to think and reacted to another man flirting with Emelia, and now he had to live with the consequences. Oh, he didn’t regret being with her, he just wished that he’d had the sense to wait until he’d spoken to the bishop and got everything sorted and his laicization, where his ties to the priesthood would be severed—performed.
He hadn’t wanted to break his vows while he still thought of himself as a priest, but his love and jealousy for Emelia had taken precedence. He loved her, so why wouldn’t they have?
He’d left the bedroom door ajar so, when he heard it open further, he raised his head and found Emelia standing watching him. “You’ve been up here a while. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine.” He held his hand out to her, and when she grasped it with hers, he pulled her down to his lap, much to her startled surprise.
“I thought you said…”
“I know what I said, and I mean that. We can’t share a room under this roof, Em. But you looked lost, and I sure needed your arms around me.”
“You feel bad about what’s happened between us, right?” Emelia asked, but she didn’t seem surprised.
“I don’t regret what we did. I guess now that I’m back here, and knowing that I have Mass later, a slither of guilt has slipped inside of me.” He smiled and kissed her on the nose. “But it all started with me getting hard thinking about loving you. I can’t get Sunday evening out of my head.”
She smiled softly. “I can’t either, and I so wish that we could have made love again before we came back here,” she said quietly, but then added, “I mean with you inside me.” She blushed. They hadn’t made love again but they had explored each other’s body several times over the short holiday.
His gaze heated and it took a lot from him to act calm when his body was ready to incinerate. “Me too, but there’ll be plenty of time for us to be together. I promise, Em.” He stood and made sure she was steady on her feet. “Let’s go and have some cake with Barbara. I know she’s itching to talk to you.”
“She’s in love with Diego.” Emelia grinned.
“I know. Mateo usually causes her to blush as well.” He led her downstairs and, on the way, he added, “I don’t know why she never questions me about our brothers.”
She chuckled. “I’m a girl and love to gossip with her.”
Dante rolled his eyes. “Then gossip away. I’ll go and check my messages in the office.”
“Oh, no you don’t.” She grabbed his arm and dragged him, with her laughing, into the kitchen where they found Barbara cutting into a scrumptious chocolate cake.
“Are you two horsing around?” Barbara smiled, and took her usual seat at the table.
Emelia joined her and pointedly glared at Dante. “Sit.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” He grinned and did what he was told.
He took a sip of the steaming coffee that was already waiting for him, but he nearly choked on a bit of the cake when Barbara said, “I’m so glad you’ve come for a visit. I don’t know what you’ve done, but you’ve made him smile.” She nodded at Dante.
“He was missing his family, I think.” Emelia offered him a soft smile and turned back to Barbara. “Anyway, how have you been?”
“Oh, it’s not that long since I last saw you and everything is the same. I’m not getting any younger, but the Father here gives me something to get out of bed for every morning. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know what I’d do with not having any family of my own…anymore.”
His heart sank and his mood took a nosedive at Barbara’s heartfelt confession. Was he being selfish, just thinking about himself? What would happen to her when he packed up his belongings and left?
Emelia glanced at him, but he couldn’t muster any kind of response and sat in silence while he let the conversation carry on around him.
He caught Emelia glance at him from the corner of his eyes every few minutes, which told him that she knew what bothered him. He just needed to think about others for now.
Deep down, he knew that he was being unrealistic. There would be a new priest living in the cabin, so he’d probably be grateful of the cooking that Barbara came and did. Regardless of her age, she was great company on the days that he became fed up with himself.
He’d ask the bishop to tell the new priest that she came with the position in the parish. Colin might not be speaking to him by then, but Dante knew that the bishop was partial to Barbara himself. He’d met her on several occasions and it was clear that they enjoyed each other’s company.
“Father?”
He cleared his head and met Barbara’s enquiring gaze. “Sorry, I power napped.”
Barbara chuckled. “Thought you’d switch off when I asked Emelia about young Sean. He took a liking to your sister.”
As she watched him closely, he tried to mask his emotion at the idea of Sean and Emelia. It was not going to happen. “I don’t know about that,” he said directly to Emelia before he smiled at Barbara. “She doesn’t need to be hooking up with him.”
Emelia lit up at his words.
But Barbara added, “Pfft. She’s a beautiful young woman, and she’s always alone. She needs a nice, young man to step out with.” She smiled at Emelia, “You tell him.”
Dante watched Emelia blush, and smiled into his cup of coffee, confident in her love for him.
“Please don’t worry about me, Barbara. I can assure you that I’m fine. I have enough going on in my life without stepping out with Sean.” Emelia patted Barbara’s hand. “I love spending my time here with Dante…because the mountains remind me of home.”
“Mmm, I know what you mean. When Walt was alive, we lived for a few years in Denver and hated it. So busy. A friend suggested that we try up here, and we never moved again.” Barbara drifted off into her memories.
Emelia turned to Dante and held his gaze for mere seconds, but it was enough to see how much it hurt that she couldn’t be honest with Barbara.
“I think I’ll go upstairs and get some rest.” Emelia turned to Barbara. “Thank you so much for the coffee and cake. I’ll see you later at Mass.” She bent and kissed Barbara on the head before she turned to him and did the same.
His breath caught in the back of his throat at her touch, which was gentle. He couldn’t help himself or how his gaze followed her every movement. He watched her head toward the stairs, and noticed the way she dragged her feet ever so slightly—her shoulders hunched. He was half tempted to follow to make sure that she was okay.
He frowned down into his coffee when he realized he’d been staring at her, and he hoped that Barbara would think it was out of worry and nothing more.
“Be careful, Father.”
He raised his head and realized that Barbara wouldn’t meet his gaze as she put her jacket on, but she did before she walked out of the door. “I wasn’t born yesterday, and you need to think about what you want more…See you this evening, Father.”
The hot coffee on his leg caused him to jump up and shake his pant leg while he tried not to curse as the pain prickled where the coffee had burnt him. That would teach him for not paying attention to what he was doing. Then again, it was Barbara’s words that had stunned him badly.
No way they’d given anything away, and she certainly wouldn’t have heard them talking upstairs, or did she?
He dabbed at the mess on his pants a
nd sat his ass back down with a heavy sigh.
Before everything was sorted, he’d drive himself crazy.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
It was with a heavy heart that Emelia found herself home in Montana without Dante. She’d really wanted to stay and be there for him after he’d spoken with the bishop. He’d wanted her home safe, in case word got out and something was said in front of her. He wanted to make sure that she was well away from it all, and she was. She was miserable. She worried about him.
Even though she knew in her blood that his heart was set in stone about having a future with her, there was a niggling of doubt buried inside her. The bishop would argue and try to guilt Dante into staying a priest. That she knew without even being told.
As she pounded the bread dough onto the floured countertop, she hoped that it would help get rid of the frustration and helplessness she felt. It hadn’t worked so far, in fact, she was getting madder and madder the more she pounded.
The dough was already smooth, but she flipped it up, back down and continued to knead it until her arms ached and she didn’t have the strength to carry on…and, that’s when the tears started…great, big, racking sobs shook her body. All her fear for what would happen with Dante after his visit with the bishop. All her fear at the reaction her family would have when they admitted their relationship. All her fear that the future she’d looked forward to over the weekend wouldn’t be possible. All of it came out through the sobs and tears raining down her face.
“Emelia?”
She heard her name, but she couldn’t move as the fear ripped through her body, and that’s when she felt Aiden pull her into his arms.
“I’ve got you. Just let it out, Sis.”
Hearing him call her sis, she cried harder.
She buried her face into his chest and let him hold and comfort her. He held her so tightly that she knew she was safe with Aiden, and she wanted desperately to tell him what was going on. Everything.
She couldn’t.
Not yet.
Not until Dante was with her.
She’d promised him.
If only Eric was here, then she’d have someone to talk to. But now she had to suffer in silence until Dante returned to her.
Aiden stroked her back, and pulled back slightly. “Feeling a bit better?”
Her sobs had turned into hiccups. “I am now. Thank you.” She offered him a watery smile, stepping out of his arms.
He wouldn’t let her go too far and loosely gripped her wrists. “Not so fast.” He frowned. “You don’t get to cry all over me and then act as though you haven’t just done that…I love you, Emelia. Please talk to me.”
“I can’t.”
He was thoughtful, and then asked, “Does it have anything to do with the confessions of our parents?”
“Not really.” She wiped her eyes and sniffled into a Kleenex. “I’ll talk when I can, but I’m fine really. A lot has been happening in my life lately, and it all caught up to me at once. But I’ll be fine.”
“If you’re sure.” He released her wrists, but his expression told her he wasn’t sure at all.
“I am.” She smiled. “I must look a sight.” Turning, she meant to walk away, but Aiden caught hold of her again. She watched him over her shoulder, a questioning look on her face.
“Come and take a walk with me.”
“I don’t—”
“Don’t think and say, yes.” Aiden grinned and she couldn’t refuse.
The fact was, she loved walking around outdoors, and she also loved the snow, which was still coming down.
“I think it might just be what the doctor ordered.” She grinned. “Let me go wash up and change. Oh, no. I’m making bread.” She glanced down at the dough and wondered just how tough the bread was going to be.
“Don’t worry. I’ll set it to rise. Go change,” Aiden said.
“Okay. I’ll meet you down here in a few minutes.”
Without a backward glance, and with a smile on her face for the first time since she’d parted from Dante, she dashed upstairs to her room.
Straight into the bathroom, she splashed cold water onto her face and, once dried, headed toward her closet. Aiden had given her a change of topic to occupy her mind. Dante would be buried deep until he arrived in a day or two, but now that her tears had stopped, she wouldn’t let everything get on top of her again. The outburst had been a build up of everything, and now she’d let it all out, she felt much better.
Tossing her clothes in the hamper, she quickly changed, and pulled tights on beneath her jeans to keep her legs warm outside in the cold weather.
Heading downstairs, she stopped when she caught sight of her mother in deep conversation with Aiden. As they glanced upstairs when they heard her, she knew by the embarrassed look on Aiden’s face that they’d been talking about her.
She sighed. “I’m fine…before you ask.” Kissing her mom on the cheek, she added, “I really am. It was just a build up of everything, but I’m okay. In fact, I’m more than okay and I’m looking forward to my walk with Aiden.”
Her mother pulled her into a hug, and released her after she’d held Emelia’s gaze. She obviously didn’t find anything in her eyes to worry about as she stepped back and smiled. “Okay. I’ll trust that, if you need to talk, you’ll come to me.”
“I know you’re there. I promise.”
“Good…Then, I guess I better go and see to the bread that someone started.”
Emelia chuckled. “Sorry about that.”
“Pfft.” Her mom shook her head and disappeared into the kitchen, but shouted, “Wrap up warm.”
Emelia rolled her eyes at Aiden. “We will, Mom.”
“Where are we going?” she asked, grabbing her jacket and hat from the stand by the door.
“No idea, just wanted to say something to stop the water works.” He smirked.
“I should have known…regardless, I’m glad you suggested this and, I think we should go and say hello to Sarah.”
Aiden’s eyes snapped up to hers before he averted them to his task of getting into his outdoor gear.
She quickly turned her back to Aiden and pulled her boots on so he couldn’t see the grin splitting her face. He was an open book, and couldn’t stay away from the young vet. Emelia did worry some because they all knew that Sarah was married, even though they had yet to meet her husband. No reason why they should have met him, but she was curious as to why Sarah blushed around Aiden when she was already taken.
Fully bundled up, she followed Aiden outside and inhaled the fresh, but very cold air. She usually felt good being home and, apart from her annoyance at Dante for making her leave when she wanted to stay, she was now determined to have fun. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, for Aiden, he was the one she planned on having fun with. And as they walked closer to the stables, she realized the fun was about to start with how much Aiden had picked up his pace when he spotted Sarah in the stables with their father.
With a grin splitting her face, Emelia caught up to Aiden just before he stepped into the stables, and slipped her arm around his to snuggle into him. Aiden turned and frowned down at her, but he ended up returning her grin.
“Feeling better, Sis?”
“Oh, yes,” she answered and let her gaze land on Sarah before she offered her brother a wink. “Most definitely.”
“Dad,” she greeted, and smiled when he wrapped an arm around her shoulders to keep her close before she turned to Sarah. “Hi, Sarah. It’s nice to see you again.”
“You too, Emelia.”
Sarah turned to Aiden, blushing when she held his gaze. Her blush deepened when they shook hands, and Emelia noticed how slow they were at breaking that connection.
Hmm.
Sarah was lovely with her dark auburn hair, loose down her back, and a light sprinkling of freckles over the bridge of her nose and cheekbones. She had a fresh look about her, and her slim build was hidden behind fitted jeans, knee-high boots, and a thick fleece jacket. She’
d certainly snagged Aiden’s attention, and it was obvious that it was returned…but, she was married.
Emelia’s father cleared his throat, and with a glance at his face, she noticed the look that passed between him and Aiden. Their father wasn’t happy.
“Where are you two heading?” their father asked, and Emelia sighed in relief at the distraction. The atmosphere in the barn had become stifling.
“For a walk. Clear the cobwebs away,” she answered. “And on that note, I think we’ll leave you both to the horses.” Emelia reached up and kissed her father on the cheek, and felt tears hover on her eyelashes when she noticed a similar look on his. She gave him another kiss, and whispered for his ears only, “I love you, Daddy,” before she placed yet another kiss to his cheek.
Stepping back, she quickly left the barn and gulped in more fresh air to calm her racing heart. Emiliano would always be a father to her because he’d raised her from birth. Telling him ‘I love you, Daddy’ took her back to her childhood, and her nightly ritual of saying just that. But it was her way of letting him know that her feelings for him hadn’t changed.
“Hey, are you okay? You hightailed it out of there like your ass was on fire.” Aiden stood in front of her with a frown marring his brows.
“Just think I’m over emotional at the moment. But I’m okay…what about you?”
“Me?” He asked as his eyes shifted away from her face, and he shuffled uncomfortably in place.
Emelia rolled her eyes. “I’m not blind, Aiden. I saw the exchange between you and Sarah.”
He held her gaze before he looked off into the distance and let out a heavy sigh. “There’s nothing going on.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to disagree, and she probably would have if she hadn’t seen the anguish on his face. So instead, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. “I’m here for you if you ever need to talk…or anything. Please don’t forget that.”
His arms eventually came around her and, as he kissed the top of her head, he whispered, “I won’t.”
Love in Purgatory (De La Fuente #2) Page 14
