by Tanya Stowe
He looked up. “But not our hearts, Zoe. Our hearts are not worlds apart.”
“Yes, they are,” she said, her tone low and sad. “Mine’s in Haiti, and yours is in Manhattan.”
The way she said it, with such finality. It felt like a court pronouncement. A verdict.
“So that’s it, then? It’s over? You told me to trust my heart. Well, I did. I followed it. But the door got shut in my face.”
She shook her head. “The door isn’t shut to God, Zack. He never closes it, but He does give us challenges to shape us and guide us to where we need to be.”
“Where am I supposed to be? What does all this mean to me, my future?”
“I don’t know,” she said with another shake of her head. “I wish I had answers for you, but that’s between you and God.”
“Oh, right.” He didn’t even try to contain his disappointment and frustration. “I have to work out my salvation with fear and trembling.” He was trembling all right, but with anger. He looked away and swept his hair out of his face with one taut motion.
“I’m sorry this is so difficult for you, Zack. It is for me, too. But I know I’m doing the right thing.” Zoe spoke into the charged silence.
“I made my decision last night,” she continued. “This morning I got a call from Viv. She showed her friends a picture of my Garden of Eden scene, and they bought it for their new house in Galveston.”
“So you think that’s God’s way of saying you made the right decision?”
“Don’t you?” she asked, her eyes wide and so full of honesty, he couldn’t deny it. He turned away.
“I picked up the check this afternoon. It’s a lot of money, Zack. More than I’ve ever made.”
She didn’t seem happy or pleased, but he was happy for her. Truly happy.
“It’s more than enough money to pay for my first visit to Haiti.”
He stared at her, dreading what he knew would come next.
“You know I’ve been preparing for months to go. I’ve just been waiting for a sign. I think this abundant check was the sign I needed. I bought my ticket just a few minutes ago. I leave tonight for two weeks at the orphanage.”
He couldn’t speak. Didn’t know what to say or do. He just stared at her. After a long while, he heard her sigh.
“Well, I just wanted to try to explain.” She walked toward him and tilted the umbrella back so she could see his face. “Good-bye, Zack. Please pray for me.”
He didn’t speak. They stood, looking at each other as the rain pelted her umbrella. Zoe ducked her head and crossed the courtyard. He watched until she reached her walkway, under the white arch sign that said, “May Love Find All Who Enter Here.”
She folded her yellow umbrella, and it felt like she was folding up the world’s sunshine. He turned away.
Pray for her. Why should he pray to a God that dangled heaven in front of him then snatched it away?
He didn’t need that kind of god. In fact, he didn’t need any of it—God, angels, or a girl with light in her hair and a smile that promised happiness he was never meant to have.
He was better off without it all.
What he needed was to get on with his life. He slammed his door behind him and threw his jacket to the couch. He took off his shirt, popping a few buttons in his haste, dried his hands on the shirttails and tossed it into a corner. Then he plopped in front of his computer and opened up his e-mail.
He was going to Manhattan.
****
A knock on Zack’s front door sent a momentary shot of pleasure through him. But it only took a moment to remember it wouldn’t be Zoe. She’d been gone for four days now Still holding a printout of Multimedia’s generous proposal, he rose from his computer desk.
He flipped on his porch light then opened the door to see Pia with her umbrella unfurled. It had started raining the day Zoe left and hadn’t let up yet. Zack was sure the dark, dismal weather contributed to his low mood.
“Hey, come on in.” He motioned.
Pia folded up the black umbrella and set it by the door. Zack watched, incredibly thankful that it wasn’t yellow. Too many reminders, too many little coincidences kept Zoe constantly on his mind, and he needed to forget her.
Pia was one of his favorite people. He’d always found her warm, friendly, and supportive. He was glad to see her now. As he watched her step inside and shut the door, he saw her features, especially her eyes, were full of understanding. The sympathy he saw there made him swallow. He had to turn away.
“Would you…uh…like some coffee or hot cocoa?” He walked toward the small kitchen.
“No,” Pia pulled out a chair and slid into it. “It’s late, Zack, I won’t keep you up. I know how early your days start. I just wondered…have you heard from Zoe?”
Zack’s gaze shot up. Was Pia experiencing the same feelings of dread for Zoe? He swallowed…hard. Had something happened to her??
“No. I haven’t. I tried to call her cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail.”
“She left it home. There’s not much reception out of Haiti. But I hoped—maybe she used a land line to call you.”
Zack tossed the paper onto his desk. “Not likely. We didn’t part on good terms.”
“I know.” She tilted her head and offered him a slight smile. “Zoe told me on the way to the airport. I’m sorry, Zack.”
He knew he’d detected sympathy in her tone. “Well, then you know that Zoe has big plans, and I’m not part of them.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” she said, her voice speculative. “I think there’s room for you, too.”
Zack gave a short bark of laughter. “So do I, but try convincing Zoe of that. She may be little, but she’s got the determination of a mountain of rock.”
“Faith,” Pia said in a quiet voice. “It’s a mountain of faith, Zack. Have you tried reaching her through that?”
Her quiet words speared him right through the chest. He ran a hand through his hair. “You and Gabe know better than anyone, I’m not strong in that department.”
“I’m not so sure about that, either.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She chewed on her lip for a moment before she lifted the small gift bag in her hand. “When I first moved in, the Lord gave me some specific designs to make. He told me to make keys with messages. There’s one in here for you.”
Zack knew all about Pia’s beautiful work. He knew she felt it was inspired and that she prayed over each piece, but he’d never been the recipient of one.
“I gave everyone else their keys weeks ago. But something told me to hang on to yours for just the right time.”
Zack felt his insides tighten. “I appreciate the thought, Pia, but I think I’ve had enough messages from God. I’d like to pass on this one.”
Pia shrugged. “It’s up to you.”Another small smile tugged at her lips. “I know, sweetie, but it’ll be here when you’re ready. I don’t know which key is yours, but I suspect it’ll be the answer you’re looking to find.”
She placed it on the table, kissed him on the cheek, then let herself out the door. Zack released a tight sigh, and stared at the bag as if it contained a coiled serpent.
It will sit there for a long time before I’ll touch it. He flipped off the light and headed for his bed.
****
Zack sat straight up. His heart pounded and his blood raced. Sweat slicked his body. He glanced over at the clock. Three AM.
Again.
This was the fifth night in a row that he’d awakened from nightmares…and they were all about Zoe. She was in trouble. He was sure of it. He could feel it.
He had this sense that something dark and heavy was closing around her. Pia hadn’t said the words, but he was certain she felt the same. That’s why she’d come to see him.
He ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t face another day with half-a-night’s sleep. His project was overdue. His coworkers, not to mention his boss, were disappointe
d. He was letting everyone down, and all he could think about was Zoe.
He had no solid reason to believe something was wrong, but he couldn’t shake the sense. He sighed, and ran his hand through his hair again.
Please.
His thoughts skittered to a halt. Zoe said people talked to God even when they didn’t realize it. Was he praying? Did he sense God’s presence and long to connect with Him like Zoe suggested?
Zoe had asked him to pray for her, but so far he’d refused. He didn’t want to believe, to take another leap of faith and be disappointed again. But he needed relief from the suffocating feeling of danger. He needed to finish his work and move on. He needed…help.
What did he have to lose? Either he got an answer or he didn’t. Raising his knees, he balanced his elbows on them, clasped his hands and bowed his head.
“God…if you’re out there, please help Zoe. You know she’s special. Please help her get home safely.”
Nothing happened. Silence followed his spoken prayer.
He huffed in frustration, fell back on his pillows, and kicked off his covers, ready for another night without sleep. Slowly, the sweat on his body began to cool and his eyes eased shut.
The next time he opened them, his alarm pierced the air. Pleasantly surprised, he jumped out of bed, showered, dressed, and headed into the kitchen. He stopped when he spied Pia’s gift sitting on the table where he’d left it.
He studied it from across the room. Was she right? Was there a message for him in the bag?
Hesitantly, he crossed the room and fingered it. Disgusted with his own lack of courage, he opened the bag in one swift movement. Inside he found a beautiful old-fashioned looking key with scroll work. Attached to it was a key ring for his keys, and engraved on the side was the word faith.
Faith. Pia said she’d made this key for him when she first came to Heart’s Haven, before anything had happened between him and Zoe. Long before he even knew he had a question.
Was God really talking to him, trying to reach him? He shook his head.
No. He’d prayed last night, but nothing had happened.
He paused, studying the key. That wasn’t quite true. He’d slept through the night for the first time in days and felt like he could actually get something done today. Maybe there was some truth to it. He stuffed the key into his pocket and headed out the door.
His positive momentum lasted until noon, when the program he’d been working on failed its first test. The oppressive feeling hadn’t left him. He still sensed Zoe was in danger, and now his program didn’t work. Frustrated, he flopped back in his seat. The key in his pocket poked through his pant leg.
Pulling it out, he read the word on the side. Faith.
Zoe’s faith had pulled her through incredible situations. Maybe it would do the same for him. He clasped the key between his hands and prayed again.
Every time he slowed down or felt frustrated, he held the key with its gentle reminder and lifted his thoughts to God. The words got him through the day, the night, and the next day.
He prayed constantly in the days that followed. For Zoe, for himself, for everyone and everything in his life. He even sent up a prayer of thanksgiving when he completed the first successful run of his program. That was when it hit him.
He was talking to God. Talking and listening, waiting for a response. It had gotten him through his worst week in memory.
When he had fallen, face down, God had picked him up and carried him through. Just like Zoe said. He was amazed and humbled, and more at peace than he had been in years. He was also filled with hope.
Mountains hadn’t moved…yet. But he believed they just might.
10
Zoe eased back on her couch and closed her eyes. If felt so good to be home. A sigh eased out of her.
At the sound of the knock on her door, she didn’t doubt her visitor was Zack. Today was the monthly Heart’s Haven get together. But Zoe had chosen not to participate. She was overtired and besides…seeing Zack was something she was not prepared to do.
Two long weeks away had not helped. Every time she thought of him, and those times were many, her heart still fluttered. She wasn’t ready. She needed more time to get back her strength, to prepare.
He knocked again. He wasn’t going to go away. Sighing heavily, she rose and opened the door. As soon as he saw her, the smile on his face faded.
“Zoe! You look….”
“Awful. I know. Pia already pointed that out to me when she picked me up at the airport last night. She made it very clear she was not happy about my condition.”
“Did you get sick? What happened?”
The tender tone in his voice made her smile. “No, I wasn’t sick.” She gestured to the plate in his hands. “Is that for me?”
Zack smiled. “Yes. It was Mr. Hart’s suggestion. I thought I should leave you alone, but he made me do it. You know how hard it is to tell him no. He said you needed food.”
The aroma of barbecue chicken wafted toward her and her stomach grumbled. “Mr. Hart was right…as usual. Come on in.”
They sat at her table, and while she ate, she told him about her trip, the children she’d met, the ones that had filled her with love because they were so open and the ones who had broken her heart because they shuttered themselves from personal contact
“I thought I knew poverty, Zack, but I could never have imagined the truth of it. They have so little. I wish I could do more.” She finished her plate and pushed it away.
Zack cleared his throat. “My new company has a great non-profit program. Maybe there’s some way I can get them involved.”
Zoe should have been encouraged or excited by his words, but only one thing registered.
“You took the job?”
He nodded. “I had to make a decision, and that just seemed like the right thing to do.”
She looked away, accepting his decision, but feeling a hole open up inside. She didn’t realize how much she’d hoped he would have a change of heart.
He touched her hand. “Tell me why you look so exhausted.”
Once again, the tenderness in his tone almost undid her. She clenched her jaw, determined not to let the burning sensation in her eyes turn to tears.
“Spiritual warfare. I felt it almost as soon as I stepped off the plane. It was all around me. There was so much darkness, I felt as if…” She hesitated, and tried to put her feelings into words.
“You were suffocating,” he finished for her.
Startled, she looked up. “Yes, that’s exactly how I felt. How did you know?”
“I woke with nightmares every night after you left. I dreamt you were surrounded by darkness and couldn’t breathe. I finally broke down and started to pray for you.”
“You prayed for me?” She couldn’t lift her voice above a murmur.
“I had to do something. Four sleepless nights left me a wreck.” He tried to laugh, to lighten the mood, but nothing could stop the sweep of amazement that washed through Zoe.
“When did you start to pray for me?”
“About the fourth night, I guess. Why?”
“Because it was about that time when I started to feel better. I was so weak and tired. I knew I was no help to the workers at the orphanage, so I considered coming home. Then one morning, I woke rested and strong enough to finish my stay.”
“So my prayers helped you in your ministry,” he murmured. Then he smiled. “That’s incredible, Zoe.”
“Yes, God is good.”
He shook his head. “It’s more than just that.” He came around the table, pulled her chair around so that she faced him. Then he knelt in front of her and grasped her hands.
“I didn’t just pray for you, Zoe. I prayed for myself, my family and friends. I prayed for everything. I talked to God and even better, I listened. Just like you said, when I fell down, He picked me up.”
He ran his thumbs over her knuckles. “It was wonderful, Zoe, and I couldn’t wait to tell you and to thank you
. Now you tell me I made a difference in your life as well.”
“Zack…” She tried to stop him before he went too far.
“No, hear me out,” he said, gripping her hands tighter. “Heaven knows we’re attracted to each other. Now we know we have a spiritual connection as well. That’s more important to me than our backgrounds and who drives what kind of car. I think it’s more important to the Lord, too. That changes everything.”
“Nothing’s changed, Zack.” She could hear the sadness in her own tone. “I wasn’t prepared for the spiritual warfare in Haiti this time, but I will be during my next visit. I’m going back, and you’re going to Manhattan. Our lives are still headed down different paths.”
He shook his head. “My heart tells me that’s not true.”
Zoe wished she could see a future with Zack. But she still felt they shouldn’t be together. She didn’t say it out loud for fear of damaging Zack’s newfound faith, but it was true. His faith was young and untried, and she needed a bold and firm believer in her life.
“I wish I felt the same way, Zack,” she said very quietly. “I truly do but I—”
“Let’s pray together. Right now.”
Zoe’s lips parted; surprised that he was ready to pray out loud when prayer was so new to him. But it was the perfect solution.
“Of course,” she said a little ashamed she hadn’t thought of it herself.
Zack pulled her to her feet and clasped their hands between them. She closed her eyes and took a long slow breath, preparing to lead.
“Dear Lord, we come before you in humble thanksgiving for Zoe’s safe return.” Zack’s voice was firm and strong. “We thank you for the challenges You provided for her on her journey, and we want to explore those challenges more but right now, Lord, we ask for Your guidance.”
Zoe lifted her head and opened her eyes, staring at Zack. She listened as this amazing man talked to the Lord, spoke to Him as if he knew Him well. When she’d first met Zack, she’d sensed a strong faith hidden beneath a wall of indifference. Now that he’d pierced that wall, his love of the Lord poured out in a way that humbled Zoe.
