by Paris Rose
I took a sip of my water. My hand was shaking as I brought it to my lips. I moved slowly so I wouldn’t spill it again. “I don’t know, Kevin.”
“I don’t know either, Giavanna.” Kevin pursed his lips. “I’m sending you home for the day. You know what? Take three days off. I want you to think about whether you really want to be a part of this publication or not. If you want to be a part of the team, I need you to really be a part of the team, and right now you aren’t contributing. Take some time to think about what you want to do. If you decide to leave, I will still give you a good recommendation based on all of the great work you’ve done up until now, and there will be no hard feelings. If you decide to stay, I will keep you on a thirty-day probationary period. If your performance doesn’t improve in thirty days, I’ll have to let you go, and you won’t be able to use this job as a reference. I hate to do this to you, but I have to do what’s in the best interest of the publication. Now get your things and go home, and do whatever it is you have to do to get yourself together. I’ll see you back here in my office at 9 a.m. Thursday morning, and not a minute later. Understood?”
I was stunned. Was Kevin firing me? I used to be his favorite. I swallowed to keep the lump in my throat from growing. I crossed my legs to stop myself from shaking. There was no way I was going to let myself cry in front of my boss. I nodded my head. “Understood.” I needed to get out of there. My heart was beating so fast, it felt like my chest was going to explode. I scurried back to my desk, quickly set up an out-of-the-office reply for my email account, and headed home.
I immediately crawled into bed as soon as I got back to my apartment. This was quickly shaping up to be the worst year ever and it wasn’t even February yet. I was on the brink of losing a job that I’d put my heart and soul into for three years. I felt like crap every day. And the man that I was in love with didn’t love me back. In fact, not only had he broken up with me, he hadn’t talked to me in almost a month. He hadn’t even checked in to see how I’d been holding up.
I wondered if he even missed me. I racked my brain for an excuse to call him. I desperately needed to hear his voice. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to say to him, so I called my best friend Amber instead. I hadn’t talked to her much since I started dating Trevor. She was my closest friend, but it was hard for us to keep up with each other, even when we weren’t in relationships. She was constantly working. She was not only one of the most talented artists in the industry, but also one of the most determined. She rarely, if ever, took breaks between albums. Even though it was difficult for us to stay in touch, I felt lucky to have her in my life. I interviewed her when I was just starting out as a journalist, and she had just released her first album. We really hit it off, and we’d been best friends ever since. It had been a while since I had listened to her music, and it had been far too long since I’d heard her voice. I hoped I could get a hold of her.
When I dialed her number, I didn’t get an answer. I wasn’t surprised. It was still early morning out in L.A. She was probably at the gym or doing something else productive. I left her a message letting her know I really needed to talk to her. I blasted my favorite Amber Ryan CD and hopped in the shower. Her breakup songs always made me feel better. Even though I hadn’t told her what happened with Trevor, I knew she felt my pain more than anyone. She had endured her share of heartbreak, and all of her breakups were pretty high profile, so she was never able to heal in peace. The media was always publicizing Amber’s private life. She played into it by writing most of her songs about her love life. It worked to her advantage because she sold more records than anyone in her genre. When I got out of the shower, I had a missed call. I was hoping it was Amber. My life was falling apart. I really needed her advice.
I tapped my smartphone to see who the call was from. It was Trevor! Did he really mean to call me? Maybe his phone dialed my number by accident. I checked to see if I had a missed voicemail. I did! My heart fluttered as I heard his voice on my phone. He spoke casually as if nothing had ever happened between us. He said that he hoped that I had been well, and he wanted me to call him back, because he had an interesting proposition for me.
Interesting proposition? What is this, Indecent Proposal?
My mind raced as I tried to figure out what Trevor wanted to talk to me about. I was so excited to hear from him that I couldn’t think straight. I wanted to calm down before I called him back. I took a few deep breaths as I replayed his voicemail. My phone vibrated as soon as I hung up from listening to his message again. I was so startled, my entire body jolted. I looked down. The call coming in was from Amber.
“Amber! Heeeeeyy!” I was so startled by her call that I could barely breathe.
“Gia! Hey girl, wow, you picked up quick! And it sounds like you’ve been running. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” I took a deep breath and sat down on my bed.
“I’m glad we were able to catch each other. I’m leaving the country later this week. As I’m sure you’ve probably heard, we’re kicking off the world tour in Europe! My schedule is going to be crazy. This is my biggest tour yet. We’re doing ninety-eight shows.”
“Whoa! You never cease to amaze me, Amber. You’re going to take over the entire music industry.”
“That’s the plan.”
“I’m happy I got a hold of you before you went overseas. I miss hearing your voice.”
“Same here. Where have you been? I haven’t heard from you. Are you still running around with those rock stars that I told you to leave alone?” I could hear Amber smiling on the other end. She was very upfront about not approving of my relationship with Trevor. She thought he was bad news. But I could tell she was trying her best not to be pushy about it.
“Well, that’s what I called to talk to you about.”
“You’re not getting married or something are you?”
“No, not even close.”
“Oh good.” Amber breathed a sigh of relief. “Not that I don’t want you to be happy,” she quickly interjected. “You know that ultimately I don’t care what you do as long as you’re happy. But I’ve just heard so much shit about those Alpha Deity guys. It freaks me out that you’re actually dating one of them. Trevor may seem like Mr. Perfect now, but don’t let his money and his good looks fool you. There is something strange about him, Gia, I’m telling you.”
“Amber, he’s really not that bad. I think the reason he comes off so strange is because he’s a genius. He processes the world differently than most people. That’s all. And honestly, he’s no stranger than any other artist. All artists are weird, including you, girlfriend,” I teased.
“Hey now, I have my quirks, but I’m nothing like those hard rock guys.”
“Very true. Anyway, I don’t even know why I’m still defending Trevor. We broke up.”
“Awww, I’m sorry things didn’t work out, but it was probably for the best. I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and if the relationship ended, then you’re better off without him.”
“I know, you’re probably right. But I miss him. Amber, I really want to be with him.”
“Awww, Gia, I know. Breakups suck. But you know as well as I do that eventually they do stop hurting. You’ve been through breakups before. One day you’re going to wake up, and for once, he won’t be the first thing on your mind. You’ll start to think about him less and less. And then there will come a day where you forget about him altogether.” Amber paused. “That is, unless you write a song about him and distribute it to millions of people. Then, in that case, you’ll be forced to remember him forever,” she added. Amber and I laughed together.
“Thanks for making me laugh, Amber. I needed that. You’re right, I have been through this before, but this time, I feel like the pain is never going to go away.”
“It will, Gia. Just give it time.”
“You know, he called me today. We haven’t spoken since New Year’s, but he left me a message today. He must have felt me think
ing about him.”
“Really? What did he say?”
“He said he had an ‘interesting proposition’ that he wanted to talk to me about.”
“See, he is a weirdo, just like I’ve been trying to tell you. Who calls their ex-girlfriend for a ‘proposition,’ whatever that means!? I don’t even want to know what he’s proposing. Are you going to call him back?”
“I don’t know. I have some pretty pressing problems that I’m dealing with at work, and I don’t know if I can manage figuring him out while trying to decide what to do about my job.”
“Oh, what’s going on at work?”
“I don’t really feel like talking about it right now, but I may have to find a new job.”
“Oh no, what happened?”
“Basically, I’ve fallen completely off the wagon since the breakup, and Kevin is thinking about letting me go.”
“Aww, I’m sorry, Gia. But hey, maybe this is meant to be, too. You’re destined for so much more than just a B-List magazine. You belong on the red carpet.”
“Aww, thanks, Amber. I really want to be on the red carpet interviewing A-Listers like you, but sometimes I just don’t know if it’s going to happen.”
“It will. I have faith in you. Just don’t give up.”
“You know me. No matter what happens I’ll never give up.”
“That’s what I like to hear. All of this is just a little bump in the road. One day you’ll be able to look back on this and laugh.”
“Ugh, I don’t know if I’ll ever find the humor in Trevor dumping me and my boss firing me in the same month, but yes, I’m sure there are better days ahead.”
“Exactly. Well, I’m glad we were able to talk. I wish there was more that I could do to help, but I have a meeting with my tour manager in a few. We have to wrap up some last-minute things before the first concert. I’m reserving floor seats for you, so let me know which shows you want to see.”
“I will. I definitely want to see you in Chicago, and maybe L.A., too.”
“Okay, those shows won’t be for a while, but check my schedule online and shoot me an email about the ones you want to come to for sure.”
“Awesome. Will do. Break a leg, Amber.”
“I will, Gia. Good luck with everything. I know it will all work out.”
“Thanks. I love you, girl.”
“I love you, too. Bye.”
“Bye.”
It felt good to be loved. Talking to Amber boosted my spirits a bit. I grabbed some leftovers from the fridge as I tried to decide whether I should call Trevor back. Actually, I knew I was going to call him back; it was just a matter of when. And I had to figure out what I wanted to say. I bit into a soggy egg roll and spit it out in my hand. I really had to find something better to eat than three-day-old takeout. I wished that I was a better cook. In fact, I wished a lot of things.
Why can’t I have my fairy tale back?
I looked down at my phone.
Oh Trevor, what made you call me?
I decided to give myself time to think before I called Trevor back. I was too hungry to function anyway. I got dressed and headed out to grab some fresh takeout.
When I got back, I decided that I should make some decisions about what I was going to do about work instead of calling Trevor back. I called the bank to see how much money I had in my account. I wondered how long I could survive if I had to leave my job. My stomach sank as I realized that I didn’t have very much savings. Although I didn’t really love my job anymore, I needed the money, so I had to stay.
Maybe I’m just going through a rough patch and things will get better. I needed to make a concrete game plan for how I was going to improve my work performance. Maybe if Trevor and I get back together, I will be able to focus again. I took a deep breath and decided to give him a call. I held my breath as I waited for him to pick up.
“Giavanna.”
“Trevor.”
“Hi, how are you?” Trevor’s tone was neutral. He wasn’t giving anything away.
“I could be better. You?”
“I’ve been missing you.” He sighed. “But that’s not why I called.”
“Oh!” I was shocked by both of his comments. I hadn’t heard from him, so I figured that he’d forgotten about me. My heart skipped a beat at his admission that he missed me. But what did he mean, that’s not why he called? I furrowed my brow. “Why did you call? What is this proposition that you wanted to talk to me about?”
“I’m glad that you’re interested. For a while, I was worried that you were too pissed off at me to call me back.”
“I never said I was interested. I’m just curious.”
“Oh, okay, call it what you will.” He sounded skeptical. I think he could sense that I was lying when I said I wasn’t interested. “Anyway, one of the correspondents on my network is having a baby, so she has to leave the station, and I was wondering if you’d be interested in filling her position.” I gasped. Working for a hard rock music network would be my dream come true. I was so excited, blood rushed to my cheeks.
My mind was racing with a million thoughts. Wait, he didn’t call to get back with me. He only called because he has a hole in his staff and he needs it filled.
My heart sank as I realized this was a business call. It was a great opportunity, though. But it almost seemed too good to be true. I was hesitant to take him up on his offer.
“I don’t know, Trevor. Aren’t you supposed to have auditions to fill this kind of vacancy?”
“Yes, ordinarily we would have auditions, and of course I would have no problem filling the position. There is no shortage of people who want to be on television, especially Rock Hard TV. But I don’t want just anyone. I want you.”
I was flattered but skeptical. “Why me?”
“Why not you? You’re gorgeous and talented. You present yourself well. And you love music more than anyone I know, and that’s including my musician friends. You’d be a great addition to the network.” He spoke passionately. He sounded sincere, but something seemed fishy. Who would hire an ex-girlfriend to work for their television network?
“Okay Trevor. I’m not going to lie here, because you would see right through me anyway. You know I really want this. But there has to be a catch.”
“Oh, Giavanna, you’re the one person who’s too smart for me.” He sounded amused. “Your intelligence and your ability to sense bullshit delight me.” He chuckled. “Not that I was bullshitting you. I meant everything I said about why I want you to work for me. But I do have ulterior motives.”
“What ulterior motives?” I asked cautiously. I was so confused.
“Look Giavanna, you know I don’t like putting my cards on the table, but you’re too smart for my plan. I decided to offer you the job at Rock Hard TV so it would force you to move out to L.A. Once you were here, I was going to try to get you to be with me again.”
My heart fluttered. He wants me back! I wonder why he went about it in such a roundabout way. “Trevor! Isn’t that textbook sexual harassment!? Offering me a job so you can make an advance!” I gasped. “What you’re doing is illegal,” I admonished playfully. I was so giddy, there was no way I could hide my excitement.
“It’s only illegal if you take objection to it. Besides, I wouldn’t be your direct boss. I don’t work at the station, I just own it.” I could tell that he was smirking.
“You little shit! You thought you were going to lure me to L.A. and trick me into getting back with you.” I giggled. I was practically squealing with excitement.
“You mean to tell me that my plan isn’t working?” His tone was flirtatious.
“Well, I’m not saying that.”
“So that’s a ‘yes’? You’ll take the position?” I didn’t have to think twice. I had no reservations about leaving my job that was falling apart anyway and running off into the sunset with Trevor. He had no idea how much he just saved my ass.
“You’re a hard man to say no to. You know that?”
I laughed. “Yes, Prince Charming, I’ll come and work for your television network. When do I start?”
“I don’t need you to start until the end of February. But you should move out here and get settled as soon as possible.”
I shot to my feet. I was practically jumping up and down with excitement. Everything was happening so fast. “Wait, I need time to find an apartment.”
“No, you don’t. I have plenty of room in my Hollywood Hills palace. You can stay with me. You seemed pretty impressed with it when you came to visit,” he boasted arrogantly. I had actually only seen a fraction of his mansion when I was out in L.A. The few rooms I saw blew my mind.
“Does this mean we’re getting back together?”
“Is that what you want it to mean?”
“I don’t know. Is that what you meant?”
“Giavanna, sometimes I have trouble admitting when I mess up. That’s probably because I rarely make mistakes. But this is one of those rare occasions where I realize I fucked up big time. I should have never let you walk out that door on New Year’s. I’ve been wanting to ask you to be with me again, but every time I picked up the phone to dial your number, my pride got in the way. I’ve had enough of being without you. I’m sorry that I was foolish enough to let you go. I want to try this again if you’re willing.”
I felt like I was floating on air. I was so happy, I wanted to cry. “But what about the contract?” I asked hesitantly.
“What contract?” he replied, matter-of-factly.
“Really, Trevor?”
“You know, I was thinking about it, and I think we could meet each other in the middle. I’m willing to try to have a normal relationship with you, as long as you’re willing to try just as hard to explore certain aspects of my lifestyle.”
“I’ve told you before I’m willing to explore. I just don’t want to be your sub—I want to be your girlfriend.”
“Fair enough. So are we doing this?”
