“No. My brother’s wife. She just finished her doctorate degree in social work, and we’re on this cruise to celebrate.”
Funny. I hadn’t seen her with anyone but Asher.
“Asher, we have to finish catching up! Do you want to join me and Abigail at the pool? I’m meeting her down there in about twenty minutes. You both are welcome to come.”
How lovely of her to invite me. I felt a scoff coming on, but I gave her a small smile instead. “Thank you for the invitation—”
“Yes! Thank you!” Asher interrupted. “We planned on swimming later today. What do you say, Isla?”
No, I didn’t want to spend my day in the pool with Asher and this woman. I didn’t plan this vacation with him and some random girl he probably chased around the playground. I’d rather hang out with that ferret than with her.
“No. You go. I think there are some crafty things going on somewhere. Maybe I’ll check those out.”
“Crafts? Come on, Isla. Since when do you craft?”
Asher knew me too well. The phrase “Pinterest fail” was probably invented because of me. Maybe with the right teacher, though, I could whip out something decent.
“Now’s the time for me to try something new, right? Why not try my hand at crafting?”
“Are you sure? I can join you. I don’t have to go.” While Asher said that, the way his eyes pleaded with me and the rise in his voice meant he really wanted to go with Helena. I didn’t want to stand in his way. They invited me, so it was on me for not going. “No. Go. Have fun.”
“Okay, you’re the best!”
“The best!” Helena repeated. Like I really cared if I had some strange woman’s approval to take off with my friend during my birthday cruise.
Asher gave me a quick peck on the cheek before he raced away. I touched my hand to where his lips landed, closed my eyes, and inhaled a deep breath. A tickle caught in my throat, and I covered my mouth as I began coughing so loud I sounded like a barking dog. No one even bothered to notice me choking on air. Once I finally managed to control myself, I glanced around the casino thinking maybe I’d see Heather, or even Jack. At this point I really just wanted to see a familiar face, even if in the form of a man’s advances I’d rebuffed less than twenty-four hours ago. I hated being in a crowd of unrecognizable faces, yet here I was.
I wasn’t feeling particularly crafty. Sure, I told Asher that was where I’d be, but maybe I could try a few casino games. Why not? If I didn’t have luck in love, maybe I’d have luck elsewhere.
Blackjack. I could probably do okay with that one. Math wasn’t exactly my strong suit, but how difficult could it be to try and get the cards to equal twenty-one? Only three other people sat at the table I eyed up, so I decided to take a seat and join them.
Everyone welcomed me, including the dealer. Within a few seconds, they managed to make me forget about feeling alone and instead be happy to be part of the crowd. I placed my first bet, and the dealer dealt the cards.
A queen of hearts, which gave me ten, and a two of clubs. A measly twelve. The dealer’s one card face up was a nine of clubs. I motioned for her to hit me, and she dealt me a five. Seventeen. I thought back to the few times I’d played blackjack. What were my chances of being dealt a four or less? The dealer’s only face-up card was a nine. She had a pretty good chance, I thought, of having a card less than an eight that was hidden. If she had seventeen or less, she had to hit. I didn’t want to risk busting, so I motioned I’d stay.
The rest of the table finished their betting. The dealer flipped her card underneath the nine. A king, of course.
I lost my money just like that. Dammit! I wasn’t upset I lost money. I figured that would happen. But on my first hand? I should have known better than to sway from the slots. If I did lose there, it took longer to do so. My money went farther.
I left the table with my head hung low. So much for that. Why did I even sit down at the table? I kicked myself for not going with Asher and Helena. It wasn’t too late. I could join them, but I also didn’t want to feel like a third wheel.
I had already missed the yoga session this morning, and the next one wasn’t until the afternoon. I craved my after-yoga drink, though. I remembered seeing a coffee shop. Maybe I’d have my drink and watch something on my iPad. Yeah. I’d go back to my room, grab my iPad, and then relax with my iced coffee on the deck of the cafe.
I turned around to exit the casino, stopping myself when I saw Jack. I contemplated for a minute saying hello, but not far from him stood a woman with hair black as night, her lips as red as the fire in hell. I watched as they kissed, and anger suddenly rushed over me. Why? I’d turned Jack down. I just knew something didn’t feel right about him. He had player written all over him. He probably came on the cruise planning to hook up with as many women as possible. I knew what kind of person Jack was, and I didn't want anything to do with him.
I rushed out of the casino quickly making sure Jack didn't see me. He wasn't worth my tears, even if they were only on the inside.
Chapter Eight
Day Three: Jamaica
Too much coffee, a restless sleep, and a yoga session later I started fresh. The Oceanic Aphrodite docked in Jamaica on the third day signaling the official start of vacation in my opinion. Once I stepped off the ship and back onto land, my whole body came back to life. Even though the ship was huge, being cooped up and unable to get away did a number on me. I blamed that for my reactions to both Asher and Jack.
We wanted to split a cab to Braco Stables with Heather and Dan. I hadn’t been on a horse since I was a little girl, and I couldn’t wait. Of all the activities available to us, riding horses topped my list. Sure, I could do that back home, but this one led us through amazing trails and we could learn so much about Jamaica. I just loved the feeling of being boosted up onto such a majestic animal and trotting along a trail. I’d never felt more free.
And I needed that now.
The night before I did manage to meet up with Asher at the pool. I made him promise me he wouldn’t make fun of me about the ferret. He probably would have reacted the same way had it happened to him. I heard some other people talking about the ferret too. It had been loose in a studio onboard where pole dances were taught, so they needed to close the studio, and then it showed up at the day spa. I imagined a ferret sitting in a chair getting its nails painted, maybe some cucumbers on its eyes. No one knew how he managed to get on board, and the crew hadn’t been able to catch him.
Neither of us addressed Asher’s day out with Helena. He didn’t offer any details, and I didn’t ask. I was a tad embarrassed that I’d lost money gambling, too, so I just kept my mouth shut. Bringing up how upset I was that he ditched me to hang with Helena would only tarnish the trip, and I didn’t want to do that, especially with eight days left together. If I moped the whole time, I’d only end up regretting it.
The cab, a black minivan with a huge logo on the side, would have been roomy had we only had to share the cab with Heather and Dan. I really liked both of them and hoped we’d stay in touch with them after the cruise. Charlotte would think they were a hoot. But three more people managed to fit in it, making it a pretty tight ride.
Upon arrival, we checked in and found our tour guide, a young, thin gentleman with a smile so bright it blinded me. I’d rather have a smiley guide, though, than a crabby one.
There were nine horses with each group, but ours ended up a tad smaller with just six of us. The other couple who joined us introduced themselves as Maddy and Dana. The two women were married prior to the cruise setting sail, and this was their honeymoon.
Everyone was coupled with the exception of me and Asher. As we stood by the stables waiting to meet our horses, I tried my best to ignore the couples holding hands and snuggling with one another. I wished Charlotte were here so it wouldn’t be so awkward.
When the tour guide stood in front of us to explain the tour to us, my mind easily moved away from the couples and onto him. He spoke at a fast
pace, his voice almost musical as he walked us through everything. I couldn’t wait for him to stop talking so I could get up on a horse.
Maddy and Dana took the lead behind the guide, followed by Heather, then Dan, then me, and Asher at the tail end. When we first started moving, I needed to catch myself, forgetting how bumpy it could be on the back of a horse. I hadn’t ridden in a while, but it was much like riding a bike—I picked it right back up, taking the reins like a pro.
“Bet you’re enjoying this!” Asher called out behind me, the wind masking his words a little.
“What does that mean?”
“Like when you were a kid. You said from the ages of eight to eleven you rode horses, even competed.”
He remembered that? I didn’t even remember telling him about my competitive horse riding. The kids at school made fun of me for it, so I kept a lot of that to myself. I refused to let my classmates drag down something I loved to do so much. I stopped riding right before I went into middle school because I wanted to be involved in other things. Horseback riding took up a lot of my time. I missed it, though.
“Yeah. It’s been quite a while.”
“I’m not so sure I’ve got the hang of this,” Asher yelled to me in a shaky voice.
I glanced behind me just as he started veering off the trail. “Asher, firmly pull your horse to the right and reinforce it with your left leg.”
I switched my attention back and forth between guiding my horse and making sure Asher successfully took control of his horse. Once he had it, I tried my best to hear the tour guide, but besides the fact that I could barely hear him, my mind was anywhere but the tour. I followed everyone while my mind traveled to a peaceful place as the breeze hit my face.
I thought about my life before Tim and after Tim. Spending eight years with someone during one of the most influential times of your life made it difficult to separate yourself from that person. Everything I’d known for so long was us as a couple. The me before Tim seemed so immature and spontaneous to the point I never made plans because I didn’t know what I’d want to do. Once I met Tim, I tightened up my schedule, followed all the rules, and took everything so damn seriously. Before him I might have been a bit juvenile, but at least I had fun. Life as a couple, at least with Tim, meant laughing only when appropriate and minding my p’s and q’s.
Well, dammit, sometimes I wanted to giggle at a dirty joke or flip off Charlotte when she was being snarky. Tim never would have had that. Good riddance, right? I had to take back all those years I lost and really let loose, enjoy myself.
“Isla? Are you listening to me?”
I shook my head at the sound of Asher’s voice. “What?” I called back toward him. I liked the little world I was living in in my mind, but I didn’t mind that he pulled me out of it.
“Do you want to go to the art gallery later tonight? They’re teaching a painting class.”
“I can’t paint.”
“Sure you can. Anyone can paint. But not everyone can be an artist.”
Fine, and an artist I was not. Even if provided a template, there was a 100 percent chance I’d mess it up. “I don’t know. Is there something else we can do? Isn’t there a movie playing or something?”
“I can’t talk to you during a movie.”
“Why do we have to talk?”
“Are you mad at me or something?”
“What?” I turned my head back slightly as I answered him. “No.” Kind of a lie. As much as I tried to get over him ditching me for Helena, I couldn’t seem to do it. I really didn’t want it to put a damper on our trip, but that was the way it was going. “What makes you think that?”
“I don’t know. The fact that you won’t really look at or talk to me.”
“Well, I am on a horse, and it’s a bit difficult to pay attention to you and also make sure I don’t go careening off into a ditch too. Not to mention, I pretty much have to yell in order for you to hear me.” My throat dried as the air hit it while I yelled.
“Yes, you do!” Dan called back behind him.
Crap. While everyone else tried to listen to the guide, I was being rude and having a very loud conversation with Asher. Well, rather he was trying to have one with me. I’d really rather just focus on the ride and daydream.
Asher didn’t respond to Dan, catching his hint. Fine by me because if I was giving off a vibe like I was upset, I didn’t want to go into any detail. I really did want to move on from yesterday. He was here with me now. Not her. I hadn’t even seen her yet, and I planned to keep it that way as long as possible. Even if she was the nicest person on the planet, I wanted to spend time with the person I came with. Though I did have to admit to myself that if Charlotte had been here, I probably wouldn’t have cared as much. I couldn’t really fault him because in that instance he more than likely would have been the third wheel.
After guiding us through a large open field with luscious green grass, we came upon a small body of water, forcing us to lead our horses and hold on tightly as we crossed. I laughed as the water splashed my legs. The horses seemed to enjoy the cold water against them as well. We continued through the water until we reached the other side and started uphill on a trail back to the main area where we first got on the horses.
We trotted along the white sands, weaving in and out of the blue-green water. We waded through shallow water, eventually working our way farther in. The wind picked up, startling my horse for a second long enough that I started to lose my balance. The more we bounced, the more unbalanced I became. I tried to hold on, but I started sliding off the saddle. Half my bottom was off the saddle as I grasped the reins as tightly as I could. The horse kept moving as I tried to stop him.
“Isla!” Asher yelled. “Isla!”
I gasped as I clenched my thighs and used all my possible upper body strength to pull myself back up. Everyone stopped and watched the event unfold, and the guide circled his way over to me.
“Are you okay, miss?” he asked. “What happened?”
“I’m fine.” A little embarrassed, though. I claimed to be a pro at riding horses. It used to be a huge part of my life. I knew better than to let the reins loosen even a little. I didn’t allow myself to be in control. “My horse startled, and I lost my balance for a minute, but everything is fine now.”
“Are you sure? Do you need a minute?”
“No, I’m fine. Let’s keep going.” I hated how everyone was looking at me, like Poor Isla almost face-planted off the horse. I hated it.
Once everyone finished gawking, we made our way back toward the stables. I paid close attention to my horse, my body stiff as we arrived at the stables. When I hopped off him, I gave him a pat. Asher raced up to me and pulled me into a hug. His body was warm, and he smelled like the salty sea air. He’d never embraced me like this before. I closed my eyes and inhaled, breathing in not only him but the moment.
“You scared me,” he said as he pulled away.
“It wasn’t as though the horse tried to buck me off or anything.”
“But you almost fell. You could have really gotten hurt.”
I didn’t think of that. I’d fallen off a horse before, and while there was no graceful way to do it, I could do it without breaking a bone. “I’m alive, Asher, just drop it.”
“Isla, what is the matter with you? Why are you acting like this?”
“Acting like what? I don’t appreciate the accusatory tone.” Did it really show that easily how upset I was? I didn’t mean to do that. The subconscious had a way of making true feelings known.
“Fess up, Isla. What’s bothering you?”
Sigh. I didn’t want him pissed at me the rest of the trip. If I had any chance of salvaging our time left on the cruise, I had to say something. I didn’t want to spend the next few days being a jerk to him.
“Fine. If you must know, I’m a little upset about yesterday.”
“Yesterday? What’s there to be mad about yesterday? Because I teased you about the ferret? I apologized mor
e than enough for that.”
“No, not that. Your little friend. Helena. Why did you ditch me?”
“Ditch you?” He cocked his head to the side, confused, shocked. His eyes popped out of his head as if I’d grown a second head. “You told me to go. Do not put this on me. Not to mention that we invited you.”
“We? I’m sorry, is she on this trip with you?”
“Isla, that’s not fair. She’s an old friend. I haven’t seen her in years. So we hung out for a little while. You can’t honestly be bothered by this. You know as well as I do that if Charlotte were here, you two would be so off in your own little world flirting with every Jack or Tom or Stuart or Rick that came your way.”
“I doubt that. I didn’t come on this cruise to sleep with some random stranger.”
“Neither did I!”
“Then why did you sleep with her?”
“Wait.” He waved his hands in front of me. “Slept with her? What gave you that idea?”
“I came back to the room that night, and I heard her laughing in the room, probably one of your silly jokes.”
“You’re nuts, Isla. Do you even hear yourself?”
“Yes, I do. I left the room and ended up at the pool where I had that run-in with my ferret friend. When I came back later you were sprawled out on the bed in your boxers looking pretty damn satisfied.”
“I was sleeping. Who wouldn’t find that satisfying?”
“Please.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “That was clearly an after-sex sleep. Or at least some sort of fooling around. You practically had a smug look on your face as you slept.”
He shook his head. “Whatever. Why does it matter whether I slept with her or not? We’re not together. Are you jealous or something?”
“Jealous? I am not jealous. Please.” I sneered at this ridiculous thought.
“You could have fooled me.”
I didn’t need to fool him because it wasn’t true! “If you don’t remember, we planned this to celebrate my birthday. My birthday. Don’t you think we should be spending time together? That you should be devoting attention to me? Mess around Helena all you want once my birthday is over, but how dare you allow her to steal my thunder.” I wiped my hand across my mouth removing the bit of saliva that had formed on the corners. I hadn’t been this upset since the day Tim left.
Circle in the Sand (Oceanic Dreams #3) Page 6
