Why was trusting him was so hard for her? Even though he had access to her thoughts and emotions, a part of herself was still locked away from him deep within her psyche. So deep, he would bet she wouldn't even recognize it.
All he knew was that it had something to do with a man named Kevin. No doubt, Kevin was a former lover of hers. He ground his teeth at the thought of her being held and possessed by this other man.
But that was obviously the past. Yet, it was ironic that he felt the same feelings for her that his brother must have felt for Julia. It took a while for his jealousy to subside but his anxiety remained as he continued to wait for her to appear.
He was rewarded. She looked out of the glass doors of the building. She seemed hesitant as thought she expected something wild to happen. He wondered if she knew he was there.
Whatever she was expecting, when it didn't happen, she pushed the doors open and walked outside. She made it halfway to her car when he got out of his. Sensing him, she turned around.
"I thought I got rid of you," she told him.
"You will never get rid of me," Malcolm replied.
"Apparently not."
He took her elbow gently in his hand and pulled her closer. Not close enough to kiss her again, but just enough where their auras were intermingled.
"Karyn," he said, "I really am sorry if I made you feel like I was forcing you into anything. Please, let's go somewhere together."
"I don't think that's a good i-"
"It's not what you think," he interrupted.
"Isn't it?"
His voice softened. "You already said no. I wish you'd change your mind but I do respect that. Just understand that it's difficult for me to stay away from you."
"Because of the dreams?" she asked.
"No. It's you. You're hard to resist."
Malcolm found his hand moving up her arm to her shoulder and tracing its way back down again. He held her fingers wishing there were some way to get through to her.
"Pick someplace, lalid. Anywhere you want to go. We'll only talk and learn more about each other. I'll let you decide if you really want to be with me or not."
"And if I agree to this and tell you that I don't want to be with you, will you finally let me live in peace?"
"Absolutely."
Now that was hard to believe, she thought. Surely he didn't think she was that naive. He was just too persistent for her to think that he would just give her that type of control over their situation. That was the one most disturbing thing about her experience with him. It seemed her life was out of her control.
"Where would you like to go, lalid?" he asked again.
Karyn couldn't think straight as his thumb caressed her palm, though. Was it really so bad to give in? Her cousin would tell her to loosen up and enjoy the moment. It was hard to imagine that she and Tracey grew up together, not just as cousins but also as best friends. They were so completely different from each other with Tracey being more of a free spirit. She took whatever life had to offer her. Karyn had always been much more reserved. But Tracey had always been happier.
"We can go to Jewell Park," she decided.
Malcolm smiled at her very pleased.
"Alright," he said and led her to his car.
Karen hoped she wouldn't regret the decision she just made. Maybe his presence was just too overpowering to her senses. Malcolm was a unique man, not just in his ability to project his thoughts and feelings with his mind, but in the way he moved. and the way he spoke. It was in his determination and the way he took charge of everything around him. He was strong and sexy and she was tired of resisting him. Especially since she could now admit to herself how she wanted him badly.
She heard the door slam next to her and watched him walk to the driver's side of the car and get in. He put his keys in the ignition and started the car before slowly driving off.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The ride to Jewell Park was longer and quieter than Karyn was expecting. Malcolm didn't say anything while they were on the road so she chose to take a moment to relax and think.
"You’re not from Sparkman, are you?" she finally asked him.
"Actually, I was born here."
That surprised her. "You don't sound like it," she said. Malcolm had a rich melodic accent quite unlike anything she'd ever heard. She would have thought he was from the islands but there was something extra in how he stroked his words that was noticeable and intriguing.
"My parents were foreigners," he explained. "They spoke Vamrhys."
"Vam-Rees," she repeated sounding it out on her tongue. "I've never heard of it."
"I'm not surprised. There aren't many who speak it. But my parents kept us kind of isolated as we grew up. They made sure my brother and I learned it well. I guess their accent carried over to us.”
"You have a brother, then?" Karyn asked.
"Yes. His name is Mehrkiiseh." He paused. "I haven't seen him for a long time."
"That's too bad," she said softly wondering about the look in his eyes. It looked painful. Best to change the subject a little. Somehow, she didn't like to see him in pain.
"That's a unique name, though," she said. "You never actually told me yours."
"That's true. I go by Malcolm, but it isn't the name that I was born to."
"It isn't? What's your real name, then?"
He smiled. "You won't be able to say it, lalid."
"Try me."
He laughed. As stubborn as ever, his Karyn, he mused. "Okay. My true name is Melkonyeh-Ilyan Viaironyoseh Asiit Xariadnit." He waited while she worked it over in her brain.
"You're right, then. I can't say it. Malcolm is much easier to pronounce."
He laughed even harder as Karyn watched him.
"I like it when you laugh, Malcolm."
"Really?" he said.
"Yes. You sound so very open." The Malcolm before, the one who had been seducing her this whole time, was so very intense. But the Malcolm who smiled and laughed and spoke lightly put her at ease. She found herself for the first time since they met, smiling back at him. Maybe coming with him wasn't such a crazy idea after all.
They found their way to the park several minutes later.
Malcolm parked his car and let her out then held her hands again as they walked a path near the Jewell House at the park's center where some of the most exotic flowers in the world were grown.
Inside the massive greenhouse, Malcolm found a stone bench amongst some beautiful irises and exotic trees and sat down, gently pulling her down to sit with him. Together they could hear the tinkling of the water fountains nearby that gave the flowers the humidity they needed to grow healthy and lush.
Karyn wondered if he knew that this was her favorite spot inside the park. She breathed in the delicate scents of the flowers and imagined herself in an exotic jungle. Or more like a quiet Eden.
Malcolm sat next to her watching the bliss that caressed her lovely face and knew this would be how she looked if they made love. Karyn's head was thrown back with her thick curls falling to her shoulders as she leaned back on arms outstretched behind her for balance. Her breasts were thrust upwards and the smooth column of her neck was exposed. Without warning, he leaned over and caressed the pulse he saw there with his lips.
Karyn froze for a moment in surprise but then she relaxed again taking deep breaths while he kissed his way down her throat, straight into the vee of her blouse. About an inch of her cleavage was exposed and Malcolm used his tongue to trace the line of her bosom making her body vibrate.
He pulled her close to him and rested his head against her breast.
"Talk some more, Karyn. I believe I forgot what we are here to do."
She felt disoriented. Almost like hovering above the clouds with no wings. She knew she was doing something dangerously out of character for her but the rush was too thrilling. That's what his kisses were doing to her.
"I'm not sure of what to talk about, now," she said.
"Then explain
why you're so resistant to our being together when we've already consummated our relationship in our minds."
"Those are just dreams, Malcolm. We don't have a real relationship."
"The Vamfir don't think of them as merely dreams."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"When you dream about someone, a particular person who you later meet, you are said to be in the realm of aleyksha."
"Aleyksha," she repeated. It sounded as strange as his name but was much easier to say. "What does that mean?"
"There are so many meanings for it. I guess the easiest reference is the word ‘important'. The person in your dream is a link in your life that's important. That person will change some part of your life. It is destiny."
Karyn tried to digest that for a moment but she just didn't believe him.
"That doesn't have anything to do with us, Malcolm. I'll admit it is more than a coincidence that we've shared the same dreams and this incredible attraction. But I refuse to believe you're going to be any more important to my life than that flower over there. No more than you believe I will be."
"But that flower is important to you. You knew coming here would help you relax and lighten your mood and that flower helped you. That flower being here is your destiny, just like you are mine. Just like I am yours."
"I'm not important, Malcolm. I can't possibly be your destiny." Karyn said. She didn't think she could be that special to anyone.
"Why wouldn't you be?" he asked her.
Karyn only looked away.
He didn't like where this was going. He wanted to tell her what he truly felt but he didn't want her to shut down and detach herself from him.
Maybe you're right. Our being together may not be that important at all. Maybe its just a overlap of fates. But aleyksha has a parallel meaning that I do believe in."
"And that is?"
"It means ‘real'." Malcolm lifted his head and looked her in the eyes. "Everything done in the realm of aleyksha has already happened, lalid. I've already had your pussy. I know how tight it is. I know how wet it can get."
"But, Malcolm…"
"And you already know how my dick will feel in that tight, wet pussy of yours. You're not wondering how deep it will go. You already know that I can fill you to bursting and you want me to do it so badly. How can you deny yourself, lalid? How can you deny me?"
Malcolm had unbuttoned her blouse and slipped his hand underneath its left half. He freed her breast from the bra she wore with long fingers that held and fondled her fullness.
"What are you doing to me?" Karyn's breath caught nervously in her throat when he began to thumb her exposed nipple. "People will see us," she whispered to him. She was not an exhibitionist, but oh, she really liked this.
"No, they won't," he insisted as his head dipped down to taste the sweet nipple he had freed. "We're the only ones here."
He sucked forcefully. Just the way she liked, Karen mused. Good sense abandoned, she lifted her hand to hold his smooth clean-shaven head to her naked skin silently telling him to stay there and pleasure her.
Malcolm put his hand up the center of her skirt and pressed his palm against her silk-covered mound, stroking her there while he gently bit her nipple. Karyn's hips jerked as she felt a jolt of pleasure rip its way through her.
"You see," he said, releasing her breast from his mouth. "If this wasn't real, I wouldn't already know what you like."
Karyn tried to regain her composure which was very difficult considering where his hand was. Gratefully, he didn't slip his fingers inside of her panties and make her come. Karyn knew his hand was there just to prove a point. He already knew how to satisfy her, why not let him? The sex would be so very good and so unlike her experiences with Kevin, who compared to Malcolm, was nothing more than a rutting pig.
Karyn hated that she was even thinking about Kevin right now. He wasn't worth it. How could that one man hold so much power in her life? She hadn't even seen him in over two years.
"What did he do to you?" Malcolm asked.
"I thought you wouldn't enter my mind." Karyn said.
"I didn't have to. The thought itself was strong enough to make its presence known."
"Oh." She didn't know what to make of that.
"So what did he do to you?"
"What do you mean?" She really didn't want to talk about it. Maybe if she ignored her thoughts, he would stop asking her about them.
Not a chance. Malcolm removed his hand from her skirt and turned her around to face him.
"This person you're thinking of. He's the reason why you don't trust me." Malcolm didn't like being compared to another man. He didn't want to be judged for someone else's mistakes. In his life he had made plenty of his own.
Karyn didn't want to talk about Kevin, but she found herself doing so anyway. She told Malcolm about how they met and worked in the same department and how she fell for his lies about her being the only one for him, despite watching the way he looked at other women. God, she felt so stupid for believing in him.
"It wasn't stupid, lalid," Malcolm said to her. He thought of himself and Julia. "We all want a chance to find love."
"No, it really was stupid," Karyn corrected him. She should have been more cautious, more reserved.
Back in California, she rarely dated and it was for good reason. Before Kevin Monroe, she had been with other men who treated her heart like shit. But she thought he had really cared about her.
Starting out, they seemed compatible. They laughed at the same jokes. She always liked men who had a sense of humor. And they both liked music and nature, things that always brought her a sense of peace. Nothing seemed odd or out of place about him. They just felt the same away about everything.
And he never tried to change her. He never said her lips were shaped funny, as some men had done. He never told her to straighten her curls. He never said that her hips were too round and that she should lose weight. It had taken her years to accept herself and appreciate the body nature had given her. She was glad she could share herself with him.
It all seemed to be perfect so she gave in to her feelings with an excitement she'd never known before. She did things with him that she'd never done with anyone else. She thought she could be with him forever.
They were talking about moving in together when a friend at work showed her some pictures that were being passed around of Kevin and another woman. He'd actually been bragging to other people about cheating on her.
So when Karyn looked deeper into the subject, she found out that he belonged to a sex club. Nothing exotic, or even creative. Just a bunch of juvenile men going online and making bets on how many women they could sleep with. Karyn's picture was up on the internet because of it, as well as some other photos of her in various states of undress that she didn't even know he'd taken.
She found herself not just disappointed, but thoroughly humiliated, and she was ashamed that she even listened to his lies much less believed in them.
And when she finally confronted him about everything, he just laughed. He was a guy, he said. "Come on, we do these things all the time. And it's not like you didn't have fun too, babe."
The rage he sensed in her was blindingly hot. Malcolm had the urge to go to California and kill Kevin for hurting her so badly, which was an odd reaction for him. He shouldn't feel so strongly about someone he never met. Still, he had to control his fangs and found himself grinding his teeth. He would never like seeing Karyn hurt.
But he also noticed how Karyn told her story. It was as though she expected things like this to happen. She'd already been hurt not just once, but many times and she was giving up on love. She was giving up on them before they even had a chance to get started.
Look at her. She'd already gotten up from the bench and had straightened her skirt. She was now redoing her blouse hiding her tempting brown skin behind a boundary of white cloth. He didn't want her to hide herself from him. Not anymore. It had taken him so long to find her.
"I'm going home with you," he told her.
She stopped buttoning her shirt and looked at him. "Are you insane?"
"No," he said getting up from his seat too. It was the only logical thing to do. He wanted her to stop hurting. He wanted to please her. He wanted her to be happy.
He kissed her once more, moving against her lips until she opened them and welcomed the thrust of his tongue.
"I…am going home...with you," he stated again between kisses.
Each kiss felt warm and intoxicating to Karyn's senses. This can't be good. But she enjoyed the way their bodies connected with each other. She especially liked the feel of his hardness pressed tight against her belly. It was absolutely delicious. Would he taste as good as he felt, she wondered.
"Okay, Malcolm," she whispered against his lips. "Take me home."
Karyn's house was dark, cold, and empty. She turned on the lights in her entryway before letting Malcolm in and closing the door.
"Do you realize how long I've waited to be here with you?" Malcolm asked once they entered. His eyes were on her again, making her nerves stand on end but in a good way.
He reached out, put his hands on her hips, and slowly pulled her back against him.
"I had an especially hard time during that meeting the other day," he said.
"Why was that?"
"Because you left and pleasured yourself," he said as he nuzzled her neck.
Karyn was surprised. "How did you know?" she asked him.
"I could smell your juices," he told her.
"I washed my hands."
"But you didn't wash your thighs." He rubbed her legs up and down. "I swear, I wish I could have done that for you. You smell so enticing, lalid. You smell just like honey."
"You can smell me?" She didn't know whether she should be embarrassed or not. So self-conscious, his Karyn.
"Don't worry. I have an especially sensitive nose. I'm probably the only one in the world who would notice. And right now, you smell so tempting that you're making my blood boil."
Awakened Desires Page 6
