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CHAPTER 29
The next day, when Kipp pulled up to Libby's house, Libby was standing in the yard, adjusting a sprinkler. The August sun had made a greenish gold patchwork of the lawn. He saw no sign of Kelly.
Libby waved. Her emerald blouse and shorts blended in with the environment, but her wide smile and her rich dark hair made her stand out.
His stomach fluttered. The excitement of seeing her mixed with the anticipation of seeing his daughter; it was difficult to separate the two. If he had not been so tired the night before, he would have wrestled the sheets, anxious for the morning light to wake him.
By the time he'd replaced his sunglasses with his wire-rims, Libby had turned on the water and was approaching the Jeep. He stole a glance in the rearview mirror, then stepped out to greet her. Without giving her time to protest, he gave her a warm hug and felt no resistance.
"You got your hair cut," she said. "It's much shorter."
His cheeks warmed. "I thought I might look more like the earlier pictures with me and Kelly together. If I could, I would have slapped on a mustache. Where is she?"
"With Ellen. They went to the store to exchange some clothes. Kelly is smaller than Ellen thought. She doesn't wear the usual size for her age. She's so tiny."
"That's how Tanya was when she was a little girl."
"Would you like some iced tea? I'll bring it out, and we can sit on the porch and wait."
"How did she do with you?"
"I'll get the tea and we'll talk." Libby walked up the sidewalk ahead of him.
Kipp held back, watching her navigate the porch steps. She carried more weight than Tanya. He balked at the comparison; there was no comparison. Libby might not have a model's figure, but she had so much more.
When the screen door shut, he returned to the Jeep to retrieve the stuffed bear, the key to the reading that had led to Kelly's rescue. On the porch he sat in one of the rattan chairs and laid the toy by his feet.
Libby came out, handed him a glass, and moved her chair closer to him.
"Do you think you should have let her go with Ellen?" Kipp said. "What if she gets overwhelmed in the store? She's never been exposed to anything like that."
"Ellen will take good care of her, and I think you're going to be surprised."
"Surprised about what?"
"Before I go on, I hope you don't mind that we cut her hair," Libby said. "Not short. Just the extra length. It was too straggly. They must have kept it in braids."
A twinge of jealousy rose in Kipp--not that Libby had cut Kelly's hair, but that she was having experiences with his daughter before he'd had a chance to get to know her again.
Libby, who had an uncanny way of reading him, set her glass down and took his hand. "Forgive me, Kipp. I'm just excited about Kelly's progress. I didn't mean to do anything to upset you."
He withdrew his hand. "I expected her to be here, that's all, not gallivanting around town, getting clothes and haircuts. I wanted to do that." Hearing himself, he felt foolish, like a kid coveting another child's toy. "I'm sorry, Libby. I'm grateful for all your help. Honest."
"I really didn't think she'd be ready to venture out so soon, but she seems happy and willing."
"I thought it would take days, weeks."
"Let me tell you what happened."
Kipp eyed Libby. "Is this something I have to get prepared for, like when I saw you the first time?"
"Maybe. You seem pretty open now, but I know what happens when you don't want to hear something."
He hesitated, wondering if he should pursue this. "Okay. I'll bite. Tell me your impression of me."
"Your mind is like a rubber band," she said. "You stretch it and stretch it, and when it reaches the limits of understanding, that rubber band snaps back in an instant, and you close up and respond in anger."
Kipp leaned back, his eyes narrowing. She knew him so well.
"I just want you to keep an open mind when I tell you what happened yesterday," she said. "You need to know this before you see Kelly, and I don't want you to be upset when she gets here."
"What the hell did you do with her?"
Libby recoiled.
Kipp heated with embarrassment. "Point well-taken. I apologize, Libby. Please tell me the story."
"Do you trust me?"
"You know I do."
"You know I wouldn't do anything to harm her."
"Of course not. I think I'm still pumping adrenalin. Please go on."
Libby reached for Kipp's hand, which he willingly gave, and proceeded to tell him the details of her time with his daughter.
Not wanting the child to be traumatized from being alone in a strange environment, Libby had allowed the child to sleep in her bed. When Libby woke in the morning, the girl was asleep, snuggled next to her, making hushed breathing sounds. Libby moved to get up, but the child clung to her.
After breakfast, Ellen left them to go to town to buy clothes and to give Libby a chance to work with the child. In the beginning, Libby spent time playing with her and drawing pictures. She encouraged her to draw pictures of her mommy and daddy, but the child only drew mommy pictures.
Afterward, Libby sat with her on the couch and told her the story of a family with a mommy and daddy named Kipp and Tanya and a little girl named Kelly. She spoke gently, describing where they lived and everything she remembered about their lives she had learned from Kipp. The girl seemed to take it all in.
When Libby finished the story, the child asked her who the man was who brought her here. Libby showed her Kipp's picture. The little girl studied it for a while, then laid it on the table and asked no further questions.
Kipp interrupted the story. "That doesn't sound like much progress to me. Sounds like she blew me off."
"Let me finish," Libby said in a tone that made him wish he'd kept quiet. She continued the story.
Ellen had come home with a selection of clothes and shoes, and Libby interrupted the session to give the child time to absorb the new information and to try on the new outfits. Libby's shirt hung orphan-like on the girl, but most of the clothes Ellen bought did the same. They picked out the least baggy outfit, a pair of shorts and a tank top. Ellen agreed to exchange the rest in the morning.
After lunch and a walk in the forest, Libby coaxed the girl into the bedroom for an afternoon nap. She pulled the shades, darkening the room. With her hand resting on the girl's tummy, Libby took several deep breaths, focusing and allowing the healing energy to move through her into the child. She called on the child's angels and guides to help her heal and remember. Soon Kelly's eyelids drooped shut and her breathing steadied.
Once Libby closed her own eyes, faces of people unknown to her flashed across the screen of her mind. She sensed the room was overflowing with beings connected to Kelly.
Then the room was charged with electricity. Libby's body shuddered. She opened her eyes to a blue mist hovering in the corner. Before the image faded, she recognized the outline of the elderly woman she'd seen previously.
She stopped to take a breath. By this time in the story, Kipp was gripping her hand, encouraging her to go on.
Libby had carefully scooted to the edge of the bed and tiptoed out of the room. She took herself out of the picture and let whatever might happen occur between Kelly and her invisible helpers. She waited with Ellen in the living room.
An hour later, Kelly emerged from the bedroom, rubbing her eyes and mumbling. When she saw Libby and Ellen, her face lit up, and she climbed on the couch between them.
Libby asked her if she had a good sleep, and she responded with a request to see the photo of her and Kipp together. Studying it, she proceeded to recall a dream about a grandma visiting her and showing her her real mommy and daddy. She pointed to Kipp's image and said her daddy looked like the man in the picture.
Libby smiled at Kipp. "That's the story. Can you accept it, or are you going to fight it?"
His eyes filled with tears of joy. "How do you do i
t, Libby?"
"I don't do anything. I just facilitate, but the outcome is not up to me. We'll see what happens when she sees you."
"Do I call her by her real name?"
"The grandmother in her dream told her her real name."
"How can I ever repay you for what you've done?"
"There's no need. Just remember, Kipp, she's been through two major traumas. First, being taken away from you and then being yanked out of a very unorthodox community. She has a lot to process."
"I know."
"Right now she seems happy and content, but she certainly could lapse back at any time. Do you plan to take her to a counselor?"
"I hadn't thought that far ahead."
"I think you should be aware of some things."
"Like what?"
"After an abduction, children who have been recovered can experience a number of problems, like interrupted sleep or excessive fright or concerns about being abducted again. She might revert back to wetting the bed or sucking her thumb. You saw how clingy she was to me."
He nodded.
"She might become that way with you. She might even get confused about her identity because of the name change. She could exhibit depression or anxiety. There are trust issues."
"Libby, you're scaring me."
"I don't mean to, but I think you should be prepared for anything. She's been under so much stress. The good thing about her abduction is that the community took good care of her, and from what Rebecca said, she wasn't moved from one location to another as so often happens in parental abductions. Anyway, my point is, you really should take her to a counselor as soon as possible. In fact, you should go, too."
"We can handle it."
"I don't think so, Kipp. Kelly needs to get professional help. She needs to be coaxed into opening up about her ordeal. She's been through so much. You both have. Right now everything is new to her, but I think the newness will wear off."
"Can't she talk to you? I could bring her here."
"I think it should be someone you don't know, but even if I could see her, that would be up to you and Tanya."
Kipp realized he had forgotten about Tanya and about having to include her input into everything concerning Kelly. He had not mentioned Libby's role in the rescue, and he had a distinct feeling Tanya would not approve of any of this.
It dawned on him that he and Libby had come together for Kelly's sake, and once he and Kelly left Libby's house, that would essentially be the end of his and Libby's need to see each other. He wanted to bring up the subject of a future together, in whatever form that might be, even if it only meant friendship. As far as he was concerned, the issue needed to be discussed, even if he had to risk the possibility of rejection. "What about you and me, Libby? Do you see anything for us?"
Libby bent over to wipe a smudge from her sneakers, but he knew she was avoiding eye contact. "What about you and Tanya? You both have a responsibility to make a home for Kelly. She needs you. She needs both of you."
Her words clutched his heart. Libby had voiced what he knew was true. For now there would be no Kipp and Libby. He had to get used to it. "We can still be friends, can't we? I can't imagine not hearing your voice. I can't imagine not seeing you."
When Libby rose, her eyes were moist. "I'll miss you, too, but it's Kelly's well-being you've got to concentrate on now."
He wanted to protest in some way, tell her he had room for both of them, but he could not deny Tanya's role, and he had to face the fact it would be awkward to spend time with Libby when Tanya was around. It might confuse Kelly.
Ellen's car wound up the road, crunching gravel. The sun was beginning to slant in the horizon, casting light on Kipp's legs and warming his sandaled feet.
Waiting for the car to come to a halt, along with waiting for the sight of his daughter, gave Kipp the same feeling he'd had in the woods that night in Idaho. Spurts of adrenalin shot through him, and he wanted to lunge off the porch and take her in his arms, but apprehension about her reaction held him back. Glancing askance, he caught Libby watching him.
"You're nervous, aren't you?" she said.
He nodded, but he kept his eyes focused on the car.
Ellen got out first and waved to them. She was struggling to remove packages from the backseat when Kelly slowly made her way up the sidewalk. The shorts and tank top she had on earlier had been replaced by a similar lime outfit in a more appropriate size. Her golden curls, held back by two barrettes, fell just beyond her shoulders.
Kipp could not get over how much she had grown to look like Tanya, and how Libby and Ellen had transformed her from a little girl on the prairie to a modern-looking child. His feelings all in a turmoil, he smiled as she approached, yet lifted his glasses to wipe moisture from the corner of his eye.
When she reached the steps leading to the porch, she paused, shaded her eyes from the glare off the windows, and glanced up at Kipp. He froze, waiting for her reaction. Her gaze dropped to his feet, and she scrambled up the steps and grabbed the stuffed toy. "Baby bear." She held the bear to her chest and leaned into Kipp's leg.
He held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut to stop from crying out loud. He slowly knelt and put an arm around his daughter, not knowing for sure if she would accept the gesture. She shocked him by letting go of the toy, flinging her arms around his neck, and smothering him in an embrace. Overcome with happiness, he swept her up in his arms and held her close. When he heard her say Daddy, he started to weep. "I love you, baby," he managed to blubber through the tears.
He could have stayed in that moment forever, but she squirmed to reach for the bear. He lowered her to the ground, and she seized the toy. Kipp knelt again, and she leaned into him. He glanced up at Libby, whose face was as wet as his.
Ellen stood by with her arms full of packages. "Looks like you have a daughter. I'll go inside and put these down." The screen door banged shut behind her.
"Look what I got." The little girl pointed to her clothes.
"You look beautiful, Kelly," he said.
She cocked her head to one side. "I'm Kelly, huh? Do you want to see my picture?"
Through tears, Libby was smiling at him when they passed by. Inside, Kelly broke free from Kipp and ran to the dining room table. He followed her with his eyes and thought his heart would burst.
She returned to him with the photo he had left with Libby. She pointed to herself. "That's me." Then she glanced from the picture to Kipp. "You're my daddy." She rushed into his arms.
He wanted to cry again from sheer bliss, but once he let go of the pain that had been stored for so long, he worried he would never stop crying. He kissed her and nuzzled his face against her cheek. The smell of her skin and hair brought back memories of the baby he used to pack around in his arms not so very long ago.
"Look what we have here." Ellen had dug in a sack and come up with a Barbie doll.
Kelly squeezed Kipp's neck, wiggled out of his arms, and ran to the dining room table. She held the doll and grinned.
"What do you think?" Libby said.
"I'm shocked. She's acting normal, like any little girl would with a new toy and new clothes. I thought she'd not know what to make of it all. I thought she'd hang back, be more shy."
"I guess that's what deprivation will do. She's acting like she's been set free."
"What do you think she'll do when I take her home? Do you think she'll adjust okay?"
Libby hesitated before answering, and Kipp worried she was about to give him the bad news that Kelly's encouraging recovery was a fluke and that she would turn into the little girl Sarah at midnight.
"Do you have to go home today?" Libby said instead, while she busied herself straightening the magazines on the coffee table.
Kipp clutched her arm, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes brimmed with tears. "Isn't Kelly going to be okay with me?"
"Of course," she said. "But remember what I told you about the counseling. You have to be prepared for anything. You can always cal
l me. You could stay here tonight, you and Kelly."
Kelly came into the room, smiling, and parked on the floor in front of them with her doll and her bear.
Ellen handed her the doll's outfits, stepped back with her hands on her hips. "She's such a sweet child. You should have seen her in the store. She wanted to touch everything."
That stab of jealousy erupted in Kipp--the wanting to be the first to have these experiences with his daughter--but he brushed it off. "Maybe we should get going." As soon as he said it, he panicked. Taking Kelly home was both exciting and terrifying, and for a moment he considered staying.
"What about something to eat?" Ellen said.
"Yes," Libby said. "You could even stay the night."
"I wish we could, but I'm not sure when Tanya will arrive. It could be the middle of the night. I want to have some time alone with Kelly before she shows up." Kipp turned to his daughter, who was now watching him. "Do you want to go home now, sweetheart?"
She scrambled to her feet and glanced from Kipp to Libby. "Can Libby go, too?"
Libby took her hand and held it against her leg. "Remember what we talked about this morning, about going home with your daddy?"
"Why can't you come, too?"
"Because I live here. I don't live with your daddy."
"But I want you to."
Libby looked pleadingly at Kipp for help.
"I wish she could come with us, too, Kelly, but we need to go home. Your real mommy is coming to see us."
"But I want Libby."
Kipp knelt beside her. "Honey, we'll see Libby again. We'll visit her, okay?"
Kelly's smile faded, her head lowered. She let go of Libby's hand. With that sullen look, she reminded Kipp of the person they would be seeing soon.
Ellen helped Kipp gather up the doll and its belongings. Kipp offered to pay for everything, but Ellen refused. She talked Kelly into taking the packages out to the Jeep with her, but before they were out the door, Kelly ran back to Libby and threw her arms around Libby's waist.
Libby returned the hug. "We'll see each other again, sweetie. Go on, now."
Visions of Hope Page 21
