“I started hitting her back. I didn’t care anymore. She wasn’t a mother. She wasn’t family. She wasn’t a friend. I hated her! I hated her, Kayla. I swung whatever I could get my hands on. She pulled out a gun and pointed it at me…”
“You little bitch! You think you can get away with treating me like that? How dare you lay a hand on me!” The gun was pointed right at my chest.
I didn’t care what she did to me. She was nothing to me. She deserved nothing from me.
“Shoot me, Harriet! Shoot me! I hate you!”
I heard the click of the gun being cocked at the same time I heard the keys in the door. It was like everything went into slow motion. Nothing seemed real. I spun around.
“Daddy! Nooooo!”
I had no more than got the words out of my mouth when I heard the gun fire. It was a sound you never forget. It was like a firework going off without the screech build up and the bright colors at the end. No, there was a screech after it and it was me screaming, when I realized my father had been shot. The redness started small on his white button up shirt and began to widen.
The look on my dad’s face was one I will never forget. His eyes were wide as he clutched his chest and stared at Harriet and then turned to me before mouthing “Sorry, flower.”
I moved in what seemed like slow motion toward my dad. Turning my back on Harriet, I ran to my dad and wrapped my arms around him as he started to fall.
“Daddy, no,” I sobbed.
“Flower, I love you. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you better. Please be better than your mom, be better than me. Don’t stand for anything. I will be with you always,” he started coughing and blood splattered my shirt.
“No, Daddy. You can’t leave me. I need you. Please don’t leave me alone.” I cried.
“I…love…you…flo…” He never got to finish.
I watched the life drain from his eyes and he went limp in my arms.
“No, Daddy! Please! Daddy!” I cried.
I was broke from my thoughts by Kayla wrapping her arms around me. I felt empty inside just as I did that day. My life changed after that.
“I was then moved in with my mom after that. She told them that it was a robbery gone wrong and because they had no proof to prove her wrong other than my word. That last four years of my life were…” I shook my head.
“Oh my God, Lee. I’m so sorry,” her voice cracked which caused my own tears to fall.
My knees gave out and I mourned for my dad all over again. I mourned for the life I used to have, that I thought I would have. Kayla’s phone kept ringing while she just sat there and ignored it. Not even acknowledging it. I knew then that she was a friend. She was putting whatever life she had aside to comfort a friend in need.
After the fifth time of ringing, she huffed and grabbed her phone.
“What?” She huffed down the phone. “I’m fine. What do you need? … I’m fine. I told you that my friend needed me. I’ll call you before I leave. … Curry no wait! You better not be…” The phone beeped in her ear signaling the call had ended.
“Damn it!” Kayla yelled as she started dialing on her phone.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, trying hard to get myself under control.
“My brother is about to do something stupid and I need to stop him.”
She put the phone back to her ear and waited. “Babe, what is going on? … He just called. … Yeah, I’ll meet you there, wait for me outside. I thought you were going to talk to him. … No. … Okay love you, bye.”
She puts her phone down and runs her hands through her hair.
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No, apparently my brother lost a girl he really likes last night and it’s a guy he trains with fault. Now he’s going to the gym to fight him in the ring.”
“Is he a wrestler?”
“No kick boxer. You going to be okay? You can come with and watch my brother work if you want.”
“No, I’ll be fine. I have a mess to clean up. You go take care of your family and thank you for today.”
When Kayla left, I turned and looked around my apartment. It was actually a lot better than it was last night, thank God, but there was still more work to be done. Housework would be the distraction, I needed right now. But first, I want a run. I didn’t run yesterday because my nerves were too bad and I wanted to look perfect for an asshole. Shaking my head, I went to my room and put on my running gear and was out the door five minutes later.
I loved to run. It was a great way to melt the stress away for me. I ran a lot. Usually close to ten miles a day. As I ran past the familiar businesses, my mind wandered back to Carson. How could I have misjudged him so horribly? He called me every night and we talked until the butt crack of dawn. He even texted me randomly during the day we were to meet. Where the hell was his girlfriend then?
Carson even ran after me when I left the bar. With his girlfriend standing there, he ran after me and said nothing to the girl. Could I be wrong and it wasn’t a girlfriend? I remember his face as he talked to me on the phone. He smiled and it wasn’t a fake smile. It was genuine happiness to talk to me. The look of desire that spread across his face as he locked eyes with mine for those few seconds before that woman jumped in his lap.
She was in his lap for crying out loud and he caught her. She ran her hand on his chest. The very chest I have dreamed and fantasized about touching for weeks now. He didn’t move her hand away, but he didn’t look at her either. Why the hell couldn’t it have gone smoothly? Just this once, have something work in my favor? Is that too much to ask?
Carson got too close and real fast. Maybe it’s good that things happened the way they did because it prevented me from allowing him to get any closer. I don’t need to get close to another person to either lose or be hurt by them.
I was running past the section of town we call Healthzone. It houses mainly gym’s, dietician offices, health food stores… you know those kinds of things. I slowed in front of a kick boxing gym when I looked in the window and saw two guys circling each other in the ring. It was hard to see their faces because of the distance, but I soon saw Kayla and Jason standing alongside the ring. There were some other guys standing there too. I wondered if that was her family.
Standing outside, I watched the guys circling each other. One guy had long black hair and was really tan. The other had short hair brown, he was tan, but not like the other guy. Both were fit, but I have to say the tone look was more prominent on the short haired guy than the other. I watched the dark haired guy swing, but missed. The short haired guy shuffled his feet and bounced from one foot to the other. The other guy takes another swing and missing his mark again.
It continued on like that for several more swings. I thought at first that the short haired guy wasn’t going to swing at all, but his head shifted in my direction and I could have sworn he was looking at me. He dropped his head down and moved in. Swing after swing, he nailed his target. Swing after swing, I could almost feel the anger flowing through the short haired guy. It was in his stature, the way he stepped into it and threw his whole body into each swing. This guy was pissed.
Just as it was starting to get good I saw Jason look toward the door. I didn’t want to interrupt whatever was going on. Kayla had seemed very worried about her brother. So I took off.
I couldn’t get the image of the fighters out of my head. I wanted to learn that. To learn how to throw the precise punch to knock out an opponent and be able to get to safety. I want to be able to stand against any attacker and know I have an edge, an unforeseen factor that they didn’t count on; a surprise attack.
I finished my run and ended back home. As soon as I had a shower, I began to clean my house top to bottom. I was just about done when I heard my phone go off. The thought of Kayla checking up on me had my heart swelling in my chest. I’ve never had anyone care about me since my dad passed away.
Grabbing my phone off the coffee table, I plopped down on the couch and opened t
he text. I froze. It wasn’t Kayla. It was Carson.
Carson: Will you talk to me today?
Carson: Please.
Carson: How can I make this right? I swear to you I never lied to you. Please I need you to hear me out. If after that you still decide that you don’t want to see me then I will leave you alone.
Carson: Please my Angel.
Me: Give me some time. I will be in touch.
Carson: Let me call you. You don’t need to talk. You can just listen. Please.
Me: I’m sorry I can’t. Not right now. Soon. I have to go.
CHAPTER EIGHT
~CARSON~
The trip to the gym was a blur. I was beyond angry and I was lost. There has never been a time in my life where a woman has gotten me this messed up; definitely not one that I have only seen for a couple minutes. Somehow she has wormed her way under my skin. I pulled into the parking lot, grabbing my bag, climbing out and heading inside. I headed straight for the locker room. My blood boiled hotter every time I thought about the look on her face right before she ran out.
Flinging the door open to the locker room, it slams against the wall, causing a few of the guys to jump. As per his usual, Tommy starts in on his smart-ass comments. It was a conscientious effort to just breathe deep and not pound his fucking face right there.
“Oh come on, Cars. Someone not like my gift?”
I ignored him while I changed into my shorts and shoes. But he wasn’t giving up.
“Just because you’re gay now doesn’t mean you have to turn down whatever tail you can get. I mean she would have let you in her ass just so you felt more at home.”
A couple more comments and I was ready to strangle him. Instead, I kept my voice cool and non-chalant.
“You have a problem with me, Tommy?”
“Sure do, you cocky ass son of a bitch.” He said getting in my face.
I pushed right back. “Let’s settle this in the ring then.”
I turned and walked toward the door. Not stopping even as he threw comment after comment about being gay or the fuck up from last night at me. Clenching my fists at my side, I kept my feet moving forward toward the ring. I got in the ring and shook my muscles out. Shifting my head from side to side, I waited for Tommy to enter the ring.
Kayla came running in the gym followed by Jason and my brothers and sisters. Kayla climbed up to the side with Mary. What the hell was she doing home? I smiled at both of them. I truly loved my family and would do anything in the world for them. As much as they were pains in the ass growing up and we fought a lot, I love them more than anything.
“Carson you don’t have to do this. This isn’t how we solve things anymore, remember?”
“Kay, I’m not doing anything, but sparring with a fellow boxer.” I say with a cheeky grin.
“Stop it!” She said as she hit my arm.
Just as Mary was about to say something, Tommy walked toward the ring.
“Oh look the whole family’s here to fight your battles, Carson.”
I clenched my jaw. “No one fights my battles.”
Tommy stopped then and stared at Mary. “Hello again, Mary,” he smiled.
Mary turned to me and whispered in my ear. “Beat the shit out this asshole. He’s the one that was stalking me last year.”
I remember that incident. Mary had a hard time going anywhere without being followed, constant messages and phone calls. Even broke into her apartment she used to have in town. Now I find out this was all Tommy. My rage is increased.
“Let’s do this.” I said in a low voice punching my hand with my fist.
We began to circle each other. As I circled, the thoughts that began to run through my head were about my Angel, of our conversations.
“Favorite phrase?” I asked.
“Cock-a-meme-bull-honkers,” she giggled.
“What? Seriously?” I laughed.
“Yes,” she laughed harder. “I went through a phase where I didn’t curse. Something happened and it came out. Kind of stuck.”
“Favorite Song right now?”
“That’s easy. I’ve been listening to it for a couple weeks now. ‘Try’ by Pink”
“I haven’t heard that one. I’ll have to check it out.”
Tommy moved in. He was always the type that went in guns blazing all the time. I have learned over the years that waiting out your opponent can help assure your victory. They tire faster and when they start to slow is when I attack.
Tommy swings and I dodge. Bouncing back and forth on my feet, I move around him again. Tommy comes at me again. I move and nail him in the ribs. He lets out a breath. He swings again.
“You know it’s really late?”
“I know, but I love hearing your voice.”
“Shouldn’t that be me saying that to you?”
She laughs. “You have no idea how sexy your voice is, do you? When you called in that first day, it immediately turned me on. I never get turned on during calls.”
“Really now?” I lower my voice.
“Oh yeah,” she breathes.
“Damn,” I whisper.
Swing after swing, Tommy misses. I have dodged every one of them. I can hear my brothers and sisters cheering me on. A couple of guys were trying to motivate Tommy. This was the reason I was the champion. I’m a calculated fighter. I can assess my opponent within moments of being in the ring and know exactly how to handle it. Tommy was no different besides the fact that I have trained with him in the same gym and knew his weaknesses.
Tommy swings again and misses. Something out of the corner of my eye caught my attention for a brief moment. I looked up to find my Angel standing at the door. I know it was her. I couldn’t forget if I tried. It brought it all back. The reason I was here waiting to be the shit out of Tommy.
“Wait! Angel!”
“I was wrong about you! I knew I shouldn’t have come!”
She continued to run and with her I felt the future dim a little. I’ll be damned if I’ll lose her that easy!
As much as I wanted to jump out of the ring and run to her right this moment, I couldn’t. Rule one in the gym is if you start a fight you finish it or you’re out. So as much as my body was telling me to run after her, my head stayed in the game. I lowered my head down and moved in. Swing after swing, I hit Tommy. My muscles contracted and released as I threw everything in each swing. I wasn’t holding back. He didn’t deserve any mercy, not for what he just cost me. Not for being the asshole he was. It was time to put him in his place where he needed to be. I could feel the sweat forming and dripping down my body. Each hit, I heard him groan in pain, but I wasn’t stopping; not yet.
I took a moment to collect myself and grab a breath. At that moment the only thing I could think of was her. She was watching me fight. She was watching me…
“Jason,” I nodded to the door.
I watched as she slowly backed away from the door and took off running.
DAMN IT!
Watching her run away again, that was all it took. Moving fast, I landed three more hits to his ribs and stomach before nailing him with an uppercut so hard his feet flipped out from under him and he landed on his back on the mat. Breathing heavy, I stood over him.
“That, asshole, was for last night! If you ever do that to me again…” I left my sentence hanging, but the threat plainly there.
Jumping out of the ring, I walked over to my family. Where my brothers high-fived me on a job well done and my sisters gave me hugs.
“What are you doing here, Mare? Thought your slave driver was keeping you running to make up for the time you missed.” I asked.
“Yeah, well, I needed a break or I was going to go postal. I’m only here for two days, but it is so nice to be around you guys again.”
I pulled her in for another hug. We didn’t see Mary much, but as her big brother, I can’t help but notice that when we do… she’s not the same. She’s jumpy and distant. Mary never talks about her career other than the dates for her tours
and things. Smiling down at her, I hoped everything was okay, but she is a Williams and will only talk when she can’t handle it on her own anymore. Everyone got to talking so I turned to Jason.
“Did you see her?” I asked Jason, the eagerness plain in my voice.
“I didn’t.”
“Damn!”
“See who?” Kayla and Mary asked in unison.
“No one, don’t worry about it.” I hoped to have ended that conversation, but that didn’t happen. My family never lets any information rest until they had the full story.
“No you need to tell me at least,” Kayla said. “I had to deal with your piss poor attitude this morning and then calling me and worrying me half to death… I want answers.”
Sighing, I gave up. What was the point? They’d either see through any crock of shit I tried to pass to get off the subject or they’d keep hassling me until they were satisfied with the answer. Neither option sounded appealing, so I did the only thing that would get this to stop now. I told the truth.
“I met a girl, well, sort of. We have talked on the phone for several weeks now and I finally convinced her to meet me. We met up at Russtix last night. Everything was going good. We started talking on the phone because she was really nervous about meeting me. She said her past has tainted her trust. Anyway, she was watching me the whole time. Finally, she wanted to meet. I got to see her for maybe two minutes before some red headed chick comes up and starts acting like I know who the hell she is. I don’t of course. Anyway, my Angel runs out of the bar. I chase her, but she doesn’t stop or listen to me. Asshole over there sent her there.”
Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets) Page 7
