by Katie Dowe
“I have no idea what you mean, but I'll take the refreshment.” Kennedy reached for the cup but Markeeta held it away from her.
“Not so fast, honey. I've been noticing the change over the past months and today when you came in here you looked like you'd discovered the secret to happiness. Share.”
“Nothing to share.” Kennedy grabbed the bag from her and took out a pastry. “I'm just feeling relaxed—”
“You had sex!” Markeeta blurted out as she stared at her friend. “I'm your best friend, Kennedy You have obviously found a man who has you looking like you have a new lease on life and you're being selfish and not sharing. I am so mad right now!”
Kennedy opened her mouth to deny it and then closed it. “I had sex.”
Markeeta pulled up a chair and handed her the cup of coffee. “I need more information.”
“We're not teenagers, Markeeta.”
“Let’s just pretend that we are,” she said, leaning forward, her round face animated. “I've never seen you looking like this before and I want to know what gives and where this man is.”
“He's a friend,” Kennedy said, sipping her coffee.
“He's more than that, honey. I'm your friend and I don’t make you look like this.”
“He's just a friend who makes me feel really good and I want to leave it at that,” Kennedy said firmly.
Markeeta eyed the her thoughtfully. “I wanted to kill that bastard for making you turn into the person he turned you into. I watched my friend change from the animated, cheerful person she used to be into someone wilted and not sure of herself. Now you look bright and you're smiling. He's not just a friend Kennedy, he's more than that.”
“I can't handle more right now. I went into the relationship with Conway with both eyes open. He changed from a kind, generous guy into a monster and I'm not willing to take the chance again. This person is someone I've grown to care about and the sex is—“ she shivered as she remembered “—let’s just say that when he made love to me it was something that I never thought could ever happen. But I've been branded one time before and that experience took something away from me. I like the fact that I'm independent and able to make my own decisions. I'm not about to change that.”
“I understand honey, and I can't imagine what you went through,” Markeeta said gently. “But you need to stop letting him win and live again. He took something from you, take it back and don’t let him win.”
She smiled at her friend. “I intend to enjoy this.”
*****
He called her in the afternoon. “I was thinking that I could cook you dinner later.”
Kennedy smiled at that.
“I had no idea you can cook.”
“I cook really well and not just Chinese dishes. American, Italian and French. I make a mean fettuccini Alfredo.”
“James—”
“Don’t say no, Kennedy. I promise to take it slow and I promise that this is just dinner between two friends. And I really want to see you.” His voice was persuasive.
She smiled at that. He made her smile and she hadn't done that in a long time. “What time?”
“What time are you leaving work?”
“About seven.”
“Eight is fine. I'll text you the address.”
“Okay. See you later.”
*****
“Good,” he said briskly and hung up, his heart pounding inside his chest. He'd told her he wasn't going to push her but after last night he knew definitively that he needed her in his life. He wanted to dedicate his life to making up for her past. His eyes went to the door as it was pushed open and his sister came in. “We have a problem,” she told him with a tiny frown on her brow. “A customer in one of our downtown restaurants is threatening to sue us because as she claims the meal had garlic and she's allergic.”
“The waiters in all our restaurants are highly trained to tell the customers the ingredients in the meals,” James reminded her.
“It’s a tourist from Europe and I have a feeling she's looking to make a quick buck.”
“Handle it.”
“I've already put things in motion.” She sat on one of the chairs opposite him and crossed her legs. “You look happy.”
“I look relaxed,” he corrected her.
“You look happy and relaxed. Who is she?”
“Does it have to be a she?”
“Darling, I know for a fact that you're not gay, so yes it has to be a she.” She looked at him closely. “It also has to be someone from the classes at the hotel because you've been spending a lot of time there. I want it to work for you James, because God knows we need all the happiness we can get.”
“I'm taking it slow for her sake and maybe mine.”
“Are you sure you want to be with a woman who is as damaged, or more so, than you are? Those women carry lots of baggage with them, darling. I would hate to see you get hurt.”
“It’s sweet that you worry about me,” he told her with a smile. “But I'm fine.”
“So, am I going to officially meet her?”
“Not yet.”
*****
He wouldn't allow her to lift a finger to help him. His apartment was the height of luxury but she'd expected that. She'd gone home to shower and change and was wearing a light green sweater with black jeans, and her hair was loose around her face. He'd opened the door for her and after a moment of hesitation had taken her into his arms and kissed her softly on the lips. She'd wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss and then he'd pulled away from her. He pulled the chair out for her and served her. He' showered before she came and she could smell the spicy aftershave on his body. His dark blue shirt and dark blue pants made him look enigmatic and aloof but his face was soft as he looked at her.
“This is very good,” she told him as she ate. “I'm sure you don't do this very often, or do you?” she asked him.
“I have a housekeeper who comes in three times a week, but as I mentioned before when we were growing up we had to fend for ourselves. It was required of us.”
She searched his face. “You don't have to tell me,” she told him softly.
He leaned forward and poured some wine into her glass. “I want to,” he murmured. “I just don't want to bring up bad memories for you.”
“I can handle it,” she told him.
“My father believed in working hard for everything we receive and that’s pretty commendable because it taught us to value money. He told us that even though we were born in this country that we weren't going to be like the spoiled rich kids that he come into contact with. We had to learn the hard way that life wasn't easy.” He sat back and sipped his wine, his expression bleak. “I worked in the company and Julia and my mother worked at home. Everything had to be in perfect order or we wouldn't eat. Dinner had to be prepared the way he wanted it or everything would be dumped and they had to start all over again.” He stopped and stared at her and Kennedy felt herself trembling at the torment on his handsome face.
“James.” She automatically got up from her seat and stood before him. He put his wine glass down and reached for her, his intense, dark eyes looking into hers. “He tried to break us but somehow we managed to survive, and so can you.” His fingers reached up and wandered into her hair, massaging the back of her head. “We can be there for each other and heal together.”
“James,” her throat was dry and her body trembled as he brought her head to his.
“We can,” he whispered as he took her lips with his. The kiss was soft and gentle and Kennedy found herself melting into him. She put her arms around his neck and held on while his mouth moved over hers. She wanted to believe that it was possible for her to have a relationship. All the signs were there, the gentle movements of his fingers and his mouth massaging hers. She wanted so much to believe that she could move on from her past.
*****
“Spend the night,” he said throatily as held her in his arms. “It's no pressure, but I kind of wan
t you to stay in my arms.”
She lifted her head and looked down at him. She'd seen the marks on his back when they had taken a shower together and had felt them when she ran her fingers over his taut skin. He'd been physically abused as well as emotionally and she wasn't sure that they should be together. How could they help each other when they were both so damaged? She placed her hands on his chest and spread her fingers over the skin. “My dad left my mother and us when I was fifteen and my sister two years older.” Her eyes met his and he reached up to push the hair away from her face. “I guess that’s part of the reason I ended up choosing the wrong man. I don’t think I can ever really get over those two episodes in my life and neither will you.”
“I'm not trying to get over it Kennedy,” his voice was soft and persuasive. “I looked at you that evening and it felt as if for the first time in my life I'd met someone I could relate to. I saw you and I knew that I had found someone I can connect to. Let me be here for you. That's all I'm asking.”
“Are you sure?” She leaned on one hand and stared at him. Her hair was tumbling down her face and onto his chest.
“No,” he told her honestly. “I'm certain that at some point I'm going to want more, but right now you call the shots.”
“What if I decide that I don’t want to be with you anymore?”
He smiled slightly. “I'm confident that won't happen.”
She lifted her brows as she stared at him. “Is that so?”
He pulled her head down. “I thought that I would have to wait for a long time for you to want me to touch you. I thought that I was going to have to fight to even get a kiss.”
“No fighting necessary,” she whispered as she lowered her head to his.
*****
Her heart thudded inside her breast when she saw him walk into the store one afternoon in May. They'd been seeing each other secretly for the previous two months and although he never asked her to go out with him she knew that he wanted her to. She hadn't told her sister about him because she wasn't ready. She spent nights at his apartment, and the getting to know him part was becoming special. She didn't think of him as the billionaire who owned half the town; to her he was James, the man who was helping her to heal.
All heads turned towards him as he walked through the doors. She was manning the register because the cashier had been out sick for the past two days. The customers had dribbled down to about five and it wasn't a very busy day.
“Hi.” His intense, dark eyes wandered over her face and she felt as if he was touching her.
“What are you doing here?” she hissed as she looked around to make sure they weren't being noticed. But that was too much to ask. He was the billionaire who appeared in financial magazines.
“I thought I would come by and pick something up. A dessert and a cup of coffee.”
“You could have called me.”
“And I wanted to see your place.”
“James.”
“Don’t worry I'm sure the people in here don't suspect that something's going on between us.”
She rang up his order quickly and handed it to him.
“What is it?” he asked, looking at the square box.
“A chocolate strawberry surprise.”
“Your place or mine?”
“James, I think we should slow things down—”She stopped at the look on his face.
“I'm not asking you to be my wife, Kennedy. I just want to be with you.”
“Your place,” she muttered.
“I'll see you later.” She saw him leave something in the tip jar and then go on his way. Taking a deep breath, she continued what she was doing.
*****
She saw him sitting at the shiny counter nursing a glass of what looked like scotch. She'd had to work overtime because when it reached closing time that was when people had started coming by in droves. A burst of rain had done caused the shop to fill up. So she hadn't finished until almost eight thirty. She'd called him to let him know.
She approached him and he looked up at her. “A glass of wine?”
“Please,” she told him as she climbed onto the stool. “I'm sorry about tonight.”
“Why?”
“You're not mad?”
He looked at her in surprise as he handed her the glass. “Why would I be?”
She played with the delicate stem and avoided looking at him. All the way over she'd felt her heart drumming as she wondered what he was going to say about her tardiness. She wrapped her fingers around the glass and drank. She jumped when he reached out to touch her and he bit off an oath.
“I'm not him, dammit!” He moved away and went to the stove. He still had dinner waiting. “I'm not going to knock you around and I thought you knew that by now. I'm walking on eggshells around you Kennedy, and I hate to think that you're comparing me to him.”
“I'm not.” She swallowed he knot in her throat and willed the trembling in her fingers to stop. She slid off the stool and came towards him slowly. He had his back to her and she could see the tenseness in his muscles. She touched him tentatively and he turned to face her. She had tears in her eyes.
“Whenever I used to work late at the company I was at before I opened the store, he would punish me for it.” He tensed at her admission. “He would accuse me of cheating on him and no matter how much I tried to tell him otherwise—” She choked and buried her face in his chest, her body trembling.
*****
James swore silently, the anger building up inside him at the bastard who'd ruined her life and turned her into this person. He stroked her back and forced himself to be calm.
“It’s over.” His voice was hoarse with emotions that he couldn't display. “It’s over and he will never be able to hurt you again. No one will, not me.”
She lifted her face to his, her cheeks wet with tears. “I'm sorry.”
“Stop saying that,” he whispered in an agonized tone. “Tell me what to do to make it stop. To make it stop hurting you so much.”
“Just hold me,” she told him. “Please just hold me.”
“Done.” He brushed the hair from her face and kissed her wet cheeks gently. “How about dinner in bed?”
She stared up at him and then nodded.
He made her lie down and took off her shoes. He disappeared right after and then a few minutes later brought in a tray with hot dogs and a bowl of salad.”
“This was what you spent the afternoon preparing?” she teased him.
“Good old American hot dogs,” he told her softly as he placed the tray in front of her. He scanned her face and saw that the tears had dried. “How about some more wine?”
“As long as you're joining me.” She reached a hand up and touched his jaw. “Thank you.”
“Any time,” he told her lightly. He moved and kissed her on the forehead before getting off the bed. He hesitated and then said to her. “I'm not a monster, Kennedy, and in order to make this work you have to trust that I will never lay a hand on you.”
She nodded. “I know.”
*****
Kennedy thought about it hard. She was home for once because James had gone on a trip for a couple of days. This gave her some time to think. She liked being with him, that much she was certain of. He made her feel protected and safe. But she didn't want to become dependent on him. She'd done that already and it had gone horribly wrong. She was just getting the sense of who she was and she didn't want it taken away from her. He was falling in love with her. She trembled as she thought about what that meant. Conway had told her that he loved her too but had ended up abusing her.
“No one is going to love you like I do,” he'd shouted at her as she cowered in the room. “I gave everything to you and you're such an ungrateful bitch. Do you think you're better than me?”
Kennedy wrapped her hands around her middle and rocked back and forth. “Please God, please let me forget and move on with my life. Please,” she whispered as she closed her eyes, willing the images to go awa
y. She jumped as the phone rang. Taking a deep breath she answered it. “How are you?” James' deep voice calmed her somewhat.
“I'm fine,” she said, trying to make her voice sound normal. “How's your trip?”
“Kennedy, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing's wrong—”
“Kennedy, please talk to me. I'm not there with you and I can feel that something is wrong. Please tell me.”
“Just memories,” she tried to make light of it.
“I'm coming back.”
“No!” she cried and closed her eyes as she tried to be calm. “You're not responsible for me and I will not have you cutting your trip short just so that you can hold my hands. I'm fine.”
“I'll be by you within the next three or so hours.” His tone was grim and he wasn't taking no for an answer.
“James listen to me,” she pleaded. “It'll pass. You have a business to run and I don't need a babysitter.”
“You're my baby,” he told her suddenly. “I'm coming back,” he said and hung up the phone.
Kennedy went from anger to wonder at what he'd said to her. She closed her eyes and flopped back on her pillows. He was there in two hours’ time. She knew enough about him to know that he owned a private jet and hopping from one state to another was nothing to him. His eyes scoured her face intently as he came inside and without a word he lifted her into his arms and took her into her bedroom, where he cradled her.
“You're stubborn,” she murmured into his shirt.
“I'm determined,” he corrected her softly. “And when you're hurting I want to be there for you.”
“Thank you.”
Chapter 6
There was a new girl. It was the first Tuesday in May when she came in. She still had fresh bruises on her face and she looked broken and hopeless. Kennedy had gotten there early. She was in an effervescent mood and she knew the reason for it. James had somehow broken through her hard shell and was making her feel something again. She was still tentative and insisted that they wait to let everyone know. She knew he was chafing at the secret but she insisted. They'd been together almost five months and she was surprised that the press hadn't already picked up on the fact that they were seeing each other. But she wasn't ready. She'd promised herself that she was telling her sister but had changed her mind. Joan was going to make a big deal out of it and she was going to want to meet James and interrogate him.
