by Jim Proctor
Jazeen stepped back. “You knew I was in trouble since this morning?”
“It’s hard to explain. Unless you’re experienced at channeling magical energy, you wouldn’t understand.” he said. “Just accept that I could tell something was wrong and that you would need me.”
“Will you teach me to channel magic?” she asked.
“No!” he said sharply.
Surprised by his tone, she said, “Okay. I’m sorry I asked.”
Angus shook his head. “Jaz, please understand, that’s something I just can’t do.”
“All right. I understand,” Jazeen said. She watched him as he stared through the front window. Finally, she asked, “Can I ask you something?”
He nodded.
“All that stuff about being able to see my nimbus… that was real, wasn’t it?”
“Yes, of course,” he said softly.
“So you can see things about me, things that are going on in my life, things that have happened in my past.”
“I know where this is going, and you can stop right there!” Angus said. “I saved you from falling because I could. Then I took away your terror of the fall because I had to.”
“You did what?” she asked.
Angus sighed. “When I got you onto the deck, you were on the verge of going into shock. I had to act quickly. I removed the terror you felt during the fall, and I broke down the adrenaline that was coursing through you. It was the only way to save you. I saved your life twice just now.”
“That’s a good thing,” she said.
“You see, that’s the thing about good and bad. They aren’t as clear cut as people think. I removed the terror to keep you from going into shock. Now, when you think about falling, it’s like it never happened. You know falling is a possibility, and it would be a bad thing to fall, but you don’t feel the terror of falling. You could have learned a valuable lesson, but I had to take that away.”
“Yes, but it would have been the last lesson I ever learned,” she reminded him.
“Okay, point taken. Still, do you see what I am saying about positive magic sometimes doing negative things?” Seeing the way she was looking at him, he said, “Never mind. I can see this isn’t the best example to make my point.”
Jazeen laughed. “I do see what you are saying, in a way. Can I ask you something else?”
“Can I stop you?”
“In my nimbus, you can see that something happened in my past, something dark,” she said.
“I won’t have you picking my brain for bits of information,” he said.
“All right. But, when you look at my nimbus, what does it look like? I mean, how can you tell something went wrong a long time ago?” she asked.
Angus was quiet for a while, looking straight ahead through the window. Finally, he said, “Things in your life form lines in your nimbus. They have a starting point, but once started, they go on for the rest of your life. Sometimes they merge with other lines, but they still go on. You carry them with you, even when you don’t think about them. In your nimbus, I see lots of lines that have been tied up into a great big knot about halfway through your life. They end there in a tangled mess when they should be going on, straight and true.”
“So, about nine years ago,” she said.
“Yes,” Angus said.
“Around the time that Milla died,” she said.
Angus groaned. “You see! Seemingly innocent questions, and I’m giving you information I shouldn’t be giving you. Whatever happened between you and Milla is something you have to work through on your own and in your own time. You have to be ready for it.”
“So something did happen between me and Milla?” she said.
Angus glared at her. “This conversation is over! Why don’t you take that book you tucked into your shirt down to your cabin and start reading it?”
Jazeen clutched at her abdomen in panic, then relaxed. “I was afraid it might have slipped out when I fell.”
“That proves my point even more. Instead of thinking about falling to your death, you’re worried about that book. That is something bad happening because of positive magical energy. That book should be the last thing you’re worried about,” he said.
Jazeen nodded. “You’re right. I think I’m beginning to understand what you’re saying.”
“Off you go. Take that book to your cabin and start reading it. I’ll call you when we get to my island.”
Jazeen smiled. “I’m glad we’re going to your island. I was dreading spending the weekend alone. I’ve missed you.”
“Well… I’ve missed you, too. Now go. You risked your life to get that book. It better have been worth it.”
“Oh, I doubt there’s anything in the book itself that will matter now,” she said. “What matters is the book exists. It means my dreams are real. They’re memories, not fantasies.”
Angus shook his head. “That book meant something to you and Milla. It was special. Reading it may bring back memories. Just be careful.”
“Thank you for saving me, Angus. Twice.”
“You’re welcome, Jaz.”
As she reached the top of the steps, she stopped.
“Angus, you said you left home early this morning. It’s less than a two-hour’s flight to my parents’ house,” she said.
“I couldn’t fly straight there. I had to go a long way around,” he said.
“But you said you knew I would need you, like it was an emergency,” she said.
“Well, it was, wasn’t it?” he asked.
“Yes, but you went a long way around to get there.” she said.
“Excuse me, but did I not arrive exactly when you needed me?” he asked.
“Well… I don’t know. I only fell because I jumped for your rope. If you hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have jumped,” she said.
“Five minutes after we left, more of the cliff fell away, and part of your parents’ house went with it, including your balcony and your bedroom.”
She gasped.
“Reading time,” he reminded her.
“I suppose I can read the first chapter before we get home,” she said.
“We’re going a long way around to get home. You’ll have several hours to read,” he said.
“What’s going on, Angus?” she asked.
“It’s… complicated. You have more important things to worry about,” he replied. “Now, off you go.”
“You act like you’re trying to get rid of me,” she said.
Angus sighed. “I just channeled magic for the first time in a very long time. I wasn’t prepared for that, for the feeling, the power, the emotion. I have a lot on my mind right now, and I need time to think.”
Jazeen nodded and went down the stairs.
In her cabin, she climbed onto her bed and opened the book. She had missed the beginning of the movie in her hotel room, but the opening of the story seemed vaguely familiar. As the pages went by, more of the story came back to her.
Evening was coming on when she closed her book and climbed out of bed. On her way to the door, she looked in the mirror. Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Mascara streaked down her cheeks. She tried to wipe it away with the back of her hand, but gave up. She stepped into the hall and climbed the stairs to the wheelhouse.
“You’ve had a rough time,” Angus said.
She nodded.
“Want to talk about it?” he asked.
She shook her head. Walking across the room, she sat on a stool at the chart table and looked through the front window. She could see Angus’ island ahead.
“It’s going to be difficult,” Angus said, “but you need to remember in order to heal.”
“A month ago, I didn’t know I needed to heal,” Jazeen said.
“Oh, I think you knew. Maybe you weren’t ready to admit it to yourself, but you knew. You’ve been angry at Milla for nine years. If you don’t get past that, you’ll carry that hatred inside you for the rest of your life. It’ll eat away at you.”
Jazeen stared through the window in silence.
“When you’re ready to talk about it, let me know,” he said.
“Thank you, Angus.”
A short time later, the airship flew in an arc around the western side of the island, descending as it went. Reaching the southern side, flying low above the water, Angus turned sharply to port. Jazeen watched as the ship pierced the holographic trees. They were in the tunnel leading to the platform.
* * * *
As Jazeen stepped through the door into Angus’ house, she suddenly realized this place felt more like home to her right now than anywhere else. The only home she had ever known had fallen over the cliff. Well, part of it had, anyway. The rest would be torn down if it didn’t fall, too. No one would ever live there again. She didn’t know where her parents were, not that she really cared. They would take care of themselves, as always.
Fluffy darted past her and up the stairs. Angus came in with the dragon on his shoulder.
“I’ll put the wood on the grate,” Jazeen said.
“Where did the cat go?” Angus asked.
“She ran upstairs,” she said.
“Well, she’ll come down when she’s hungry.”
Jazeen opened the wood box and began stacking logs in the fireplace while Angus went around the room lighting lamps. Then, moving to the middle of the room, he held out his arm and Occisor climbed down and perched on his hand. With the logs neatly stacked, Jazeen stepped across the room and stood beside Angus.
“Light the fire, please,” Angus said.
Occisor obliged. Moments later, the logs burned brightly. Angus moved Occisor to his perch and then went to the cabinet where his food was stored. With a bowl of coal and lamp oil in hand, Angus returned and set it into the holder next to the dragon’s perch. Occisor quickly grabbed a lump and began eating.
Angus went into the kitchen, opened the refrigerator, and pulled out a chunk of meat. At the sound of the paper wrapping being peeled back, Jazeen heard the scrabbling of paws on the hardwood floor upstairs.
“Incoming!” she yelled with a laugh.
As the old wizard entered the room, Fluffy bounded down the steps and raced for her food. Angus set the bowl down just as Fluffy arrived, nearly knocking him to the floor as she skidded to a stop. He scratched between her shoulder blades for a moment, and then went and sat in his chair by the fire.
Jazeen sat in her chair and looked into the flames. The fire crackled and popped. The dragon crunched coal and lapped up lamp oil. The cat tore bits of meat free and ate them. She opened her book and began reading.
Several chapters later, she looked up from her book and realized Angus was asleep. Occisor was perched on the back of his chair, and Fluffy was curled up at her feet, both apparently asleep. Looking to the windows, she saw that it was long past sunset.
“Angus,” she said softly.
“Hmmm,” he grunted in reply.
“Are you hungry?” she asked.
He opened his eyes and looked around. “I’m sorry, Jaz. I must have nodded off.”
“Are you hungry?” she asked again.
“Not really. I’m too tired to eat. You’re hungry, though, I expect. Help yourself to whatever you want.”
“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” she asked.
“Nothing for me. You go ahead. Wake me when you’re finished, and we’ll turn out the lamps and retire for the night,” he said.
Jazeen stood and went into the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator, she looked at its contents. Then, looking toward the drawer beside the refrigerator, she pulled it open. The brown pill bottle was not there. Closing the drawer gently, she resumed her search for something to eat.
When she returned to the living room, Angus was asleep.
“Angus,” she whispered as she shook his shoulder gently. “I’ve finished eating.”
“Yes, yes, very good,” he said after he rubbed his eyes. “Sit down and we’ll talk.”
“I thought you wanted to go to bed,” she said.
“Soon enough. You can’t go to bed right after eating. Sit and let your food settle for a few minutes,” he insisted.
Jazeen sat and looked at him expectantly.
“So, what is your book about?” he asked.
“What? Oh, I’m only about a third of the way through. So far, it’s about two girls… sisters. They live on a farm with their parents. That’s about it, really.”
“Tell me about the sisters,” he said.
“Well, they’re very close. They do everything together. The older one takes care of the younger one,” she said. “That’s as far as I’ve gotten.”
Angus nodded. “Is it any good?”
“It’s well written, if that’s what you mean. And it’s a good story, so far. I’m enjoying it,” she said.
“Good. Well, I’m off to bed. Are you going to read down here, or in your room?” he asked.
“I’ll read in bed, I guess.”
Standing, he said, “You go up and light the lamp in the hall, and I’ll put out the lamps down here.”
Jazeen stood and headed toward the stairs. Occisor flew up to his bed between the overhead beams. Angus went around the room turning out lamps. The bottom step creaked as she put her weight on it, and Fluffy jumped up and ran after her. Moments later, with the hall lamp lit, she waited as Angus climbed the stairs. She could tell he was exhausted. She also noticed his hands were shaking.
“Are you all right, Angus?” she asked.
He nodded. “I’m fine. I’m just tired. It’s been a rough week, and I haven’t gotten much sleep.”
“Are you going to tell me what’s going on?” she asked.
“Not tonight.”
“Tomorrow?” she asked.
“Possibly,” he replied.
“Angus Beaph, tomorrow you will tell me what is going on.”
“All right. Tomorrow. I promise. Now, off to bed,” he said as he turned the lamp down low.
Jazeen went into her room. Fluffy was already on her bed. She retrieved a nightshirt from the wardrobe and went into the bathroom.
Several minutes later, she lit the lamp on her bedside table and turned the wick up until she had a bright flame. Propping her pillows against the headboard, she climbed in, pulled up the covers, and opened her book.
After a few pages, she was struggling to keep her eyes open. Fluffy nudged her, as if to say she needed to go to sleep. Marking her page, she closed the book and set it next to the lamp. Sitting up, she moved her pillows and laid down. She turned down the lamp until it winked out, then rolled over and snuggled up against the cat. Fluffy began to purr loudly, lulling Jazeen to sleep.
“I’m going out with my friends tonight, Jazzy,” Milla said as she sat on the edge of Jazeen’s bed.
“No, Milla! Not tonight! Stay and read to me, please,” Jazeen said as she waved her copy of The Kelleen Darrow Mystery, which she and Milla had been reading for the past week.
Milla stroked Jazeen’s hair, pushing it back behind her ear. “I’m sorry, Jazzy, not tonight. You be good. I’ll check on you when I get home.”
As Milla stood and walked to the door, Jazeen called to her. “Don’t go, Milla! Please don’t go.”
Her sister turned to look at her with a smile. “It’s just for a few hours, Jazzy. Mom and Dad are here. I’ll see you later.”
“But you promised we would read again tonight.” Jazeen said.
Milla frowned. “I know, Jazzy. I’m sorry. My friends are all going out tonight, and they invited me along. I haven’t spent much time with them lately, aside from school. You understand, don’t you?”
“No, I don’t!” Jazeen yelled. “You promised we would read!”
“I have to go, Jazzy. We’ll read two chapters tomorrow night, okay?”
As Milla stepped into the hallway, Jazeen threw the book at her. “I hope you die out there!”
Milla pulled the door shut.
“No! I didn’t mean it, Milla!”
Jazeen screamed as she sat up. “I didn’t mean it!”
Fluffy got up and pressed her face against Jazeen’s. A light somewhere down the hallway grew, spilling over into her dark room. A moment later, Angus stood in her doorway.
“Are you all right?” he asked. “What’s all the yelling about?”
“I killed her! I killed Milla!” she said through sobs.
He crossed the room and climbed up onto the bed next to Fluffy. “Tell me about your dream.”
Jazeen was crying uncontrollably, and though she tried to speak, the words came out one blurted syllable at a time between gasps.
Angus rubbed her back. “You go ahead and have a good cry. Let it all out. We’ll talk when you’re ready.”
Fluffy moved to the other side of the bed and pressed against her. Angus moved closer and put an arm around her. Jazeen rested her head on Angus’ shoulder and cried.
Sometime later, when she had finally composed herself enough to talk, she began to tell Angus about her dream.
“On the last night that I saw Milla, she was supposed to read to me. She promised me we would read. She went out with her friends instead, and I told her I wished she would die.”
“Oh, Jaz,” Angus said with a sigh. “You didn’t kill Milla. It didn’t have anything to do with you.”
“But… what if I’m… like… a natural channeler? What if I caused her death?”
Angus shook his head. He pushed her back, so he could look into her eyes. “First of all, you’re not a channeler, natural or otherwise. Second, even if you were, you don’t channel magical energy by wishing for something to happen. There’s a lot more to it than that.”
Jazeen looked at him with pleading eyes. “Really?”
“Really,” he said, “You did not kill your sister.”
Jazeen sighed and wiped her eyes. “I thought I killed her.”
“Now that we have that out of the way, tell me what you remember about her.”
“She was like a mother to me,” Jazeen began. She went on to tell him everything she remembered.
Chapter 19
With his ear pressed to the door, Emmett listened to the sound of the Black Witch’s boots tapping on the stone stairs. Laeta was the last prisoner in the dungeon. If she escaped, he could relax. He no longer cared if Venefica figured out he had helped the prisoners to escape. What could she do to him? Torment him? She already did that, relentlessly. Kill him? That would be freedom. He no longer feared punishment from her.
