by Anton Le Roy
Following him outside I bunched my muscles against the cold. I didn’t need to. Just like all of these people, we did not seem to feel the weather anymore. Of course, his strength alone gave us warmth as strong as the mountain walls surrounding us. A valley full of kindred spirits, of followers, and he was their God.
His name chanted from their lips, echoing again and again. “Loktie, Loktie, Loktie!”
And he answered.
Now.
My eyes open as if I can really hear that chanting name and there, behind the bars to my cell stands the Coyote. Green tinted eyes unblinking with an unwavering stare. Why? Why show me your memories? To prove that Loktie was once a good man and a good god before he lost his mind? It doesn’t matter. It’s too late now. He’s dead and I’m not far off.
“Go away,” I croak.
Coyote growls in annoyance and then disappears into the gloom. Gloom is all that exists down here in this cell, in my mind and my heart. Been here a few hours now, I think – I’ve lost track of quite just how long. Long enough for my body to cramp up, for the throbbing bangs and bruises gained from my fight with the Reeve to start fading into the background. Huddling up in the corner of the dank little hole that’s my new home, listening to the squeak of rats and scuttling of insects, finally left alone to rot in the darkness. There are other things here, unseen but not without form. Ghosts. My ghosts. Unspeaking. They just stand there watching, such a vast number of them they may as well be the ceiling, floor and walls to this prison.
A flutter of wings from the tiny window that’s high up near the ceiling and then a crow lands, barely visible without any light.
“You can go away too,” I whisper, “And tell Wetlock that I screwed up.”
Don’t bother looking to see if Hugimun flies off. Meanwhile, there’s the sound of boots on stone and Satipo, my old friend, appears. Standing behind the iron bar doors in the blinding glow of his torchlight his hood is pulled back to reveal his shiny and rippled domed head and all the fierce red burn marks. Small parts of his face had even melted: one nostril is slightly drooped; an eye lid is rippled; an ear is half the size of the other. Not quite the good looker he used to be. Always that grin though, slightly crazed, just like his dazzling blue eyes. Below his familiar face is the symbol of the Newborn on his chest and it’s simple to understand now. A skull in a diamond with a crown of flames above a small circle: the small circle is the planet and the skull is Umbra, while the diamond is her soon to be shattered prison and the flames denotes the falling comet.
Our day of reckoning.
He stands there for a while, simply staring at me and I don’t know what to say back. I’d come here to make amends, to save my friend and to make peace with the world and so far I’ve failed on all accounts.
Finally, he says, “The Veteran,” and he almost spits out my name in disgust. “My old pal. Brother.” Those words turn up his nose. He sets the torch into a hook on the wall and then leans one shoulder against a cell bar, scowling down at me. Silence.
“Been a while, eh?” I say to break the ice.
He nods slowly. “Aye. It’s been that alright. Thanks for popping in to say hi. Ya didn’t have to go and try kill everyone though. Bit of a funny way to go about things, don’t ya think?”
I uncurl from my little ball, slowly stretching my seized up limbs. “They’re all scumbags, Satipo,” I hiss through gritted teeth, “And I know you don’t give a damn about them.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, I guess ya right, mostly just local filth hired to boost the numbers. Is that why ya came then, Vet? To be the hero, as always?”
Still sitting down, I finish stretching out my legs and rest my weary head against the wall behind me. I’m tired, so bloody tired. I know there may be little point trying to convince Satipo otherwise but I still need to try and make him see sense. “I journeyed here searching for you. All these years I’ve wanted to find you again. We thought you were dead, Satipo.”
“Aye… I was…” he whispers, staring down at the floor. “Dead inside…”
Guilt floods my own insides, a hot flame that threatens to eat me from within. “After the battle we all looked for you, and the others. Kept searching and searching. In the end we couldn’t find you all.”
He becomes distant. Reflective. “I was taken. A prisoner of war.”
“I guessed as much.”
“What followed wasn’t pretty. I was a broken man.”
Poor bastard. “Satipo…”
“Red Dog brothers and sisters who helped me was either killed or taken too.”
I remember the few that had managed to get to him before we were all separated. Their fate was also mainly unknown to us. “I’m so sorry…”
“And Pitt was with me.” Anger ripples across his face. His eyes dart about as if watching various horrific scenes. “The horrors she endured to keep me safe…”
Poor Pitt… The beautiful blonde haired warrior woman with supernatural powers. One I called friend, called sister. My mind spun at the thought. “That’s… terrible…”
His face scrunches up in repulsion, “They raped her and, and hurt her… hurt her till there was nothing left to hurt… and I couldn’t do nothing to stop it!”
No, no! I scrunch my eyes up as I try not to imagine what she must have gone through. Guilt churns and boils my guts till I feel it’ll explode. “We tried, Satipo, tried to find you all, I swear!”
He finally glares at me again with hot flaming eyes. “Bullshit! Ya didn’t try fucking hard enough! I was ya best friend! She was our sister! And ya left us behind!”
“We tried…” I blurt as my throat tightens and my heart thumps fast.
“Tried? Bah! Oh, well done, Vet, ya fucking tried! That’s alright, then!”
I can’t hold back the tears any longer. “Satipo…”
“It was all ya fault. Ya the one what got Whistle, Blunt and Rum lost and that set everything else in motion. They died because of it! They died because of ya arrogance. I saw what Whistle done, he killed himself so we could live. The dragon fire may have destroyed them, but ya wielded it! And by ya hand I was… half melted.”
“I see it every day… the fire… the charred bodies and bones… I lost a lot that day too. Whistle… he was like a father to me.”
“He was a father to us all!” He’s seething with rage now. “And ya took him from us! Ya didn’t stop there though, did ya. It’s ya fault I got left behind with the others. Ya fault they died or was taken too. And Pitt… That’s on ya. All of it’s on ya!” Satipo stands there watching me and I can’t look back, I’m too ashamed. All of it’s true, all of it I’ve beaten myself up over ever since. “Ya know how long I imagined this?” he snarls, face pushing through the bars, “Imagined getting revenge for what ya did to the Red Dogs? What ya did to Whistle? What ya did to her? What ya did to my fucking face?”
“Dammit! I’m sorry!” I scream hard enough that my throat is raw. “So sorry…”
“Sorry don’t mean nothing to me now.”
“I came here to make peace…”
“And ya’ll find none of that here, Vet! I can never forgive ya.”
All the pain from all the lost years and all the guilt from all the regrets begins tearing me apart. “I know I messed up! I know there’s Red Dog blood on my hands. I know I hurt you too. I’ve tortured myself with those memories over and over and over. I can’t fix it, can’t take it back. If we cannot find peace between us then… then all I can do is give you the opportunity to find your own peace.”
Genuine laughter. “Peace… ha! And what if the only peace I’d find is with ya death?”
My mind is suddenly calm. “Then… then you can have it.”
He cocks his head as he considers my words.
I wipe the wetness from my face. “I’m tired of running… been too long... If that’s what it takes, then do it!”
“Poor, poor broken Veteran.” He chuckles, a sound devoid of any humour. “Sounds like an easy escape for ya. Qu
ick an easy. A blade to the throat and then ya’ll finally be free of the pain, eh? Maybe I’ll eventually do that to ya, or maybe I’ll do it another way. First though, I’ve other plans for ya.” His grin is more like a snarl. “I’ve always had plans for ya, old friend.”
I pause for a long moment. “And what does that mean?”
He stands there savouring the moment. “This whole trip ya both had? This pilgrimage to find me? I set it all in motion! Ya here because I wanted ya to be!”
I blink slowly in silent stupor.
In return, his is a smug expression. “Ya know, Vet, I knew ya’d get the job done with Loktie and that’s a compliment for ya, honestly. So I managed to convince Princess Icromm of that and then her men sought ya out to set up the meeting. And when ya visited her to accept the contract I was there skulking in the shadows, getting me first glimpse of ya again, of Gregor, to see if this really was what I wanted to do.” He scowls. “It merely strengthened my resolve.”
“No… that can’t be right…” I whisper, my brain trying to catch up, running through the whole series of events. Surely it was all too random to have been preordained? I clearly remember when we heard about the offer of contract. The messenger said the princess had heard about our escapades, which was normal enough. To think, during our meeting with Icromm, that Satipo was there too, watching… no, this is too crazy to comprehend!
Satipo appears to take comfort in my confusion. “It’s true, Vet, I swear. Was a moment when I almost gave the game away there and then in Icromm’s palace. Secretly standing close to ya both, would’ve been beautiful to surprise ya. Two steps and two knives in ya backs. Vet and Gregor dead in a flash! Nah, too easy though. Would’ve spoiled me little game. I wanted to draw it out and relish in my ruination of ya both.
Events then unfolded in a way that appeased ya personalities. Ya both still too easy to predict and that made things simpler. Vim letting me name slip during ya first encounter: well, I asked him to do that. Also told him not to kill ya too, just to make it look like he tried. And then he left tasty little morsels on the trail for ya to follow.”
Slowly everything falls into place in my mind. I still can’t believe it could’ve been that simple to manipulate us. I also can’t believe he actually wanted me to come all this time. At the same time though, he would easily know that I’d take up the challenge and that I’d try to find him. And once he had me on his hook, well, it was only a matter of pulling me in.
Satipo continues, “Oh, there’s plenty more, all very satisfying to see play out. The assault on Dead Man’s Drop: well, me men working with Ellen’s King Mermode put that in motion, not that even Mermode realised their true intention neither. They was already at war, so all it needed was a gentle nudge in the right direction and, I tell ya what, ya boys did well to survive that shitstorm. And if ya hadn’t, if ya’d both died a horrible death, well fuck it.”
“Why?” I blurt.
“Why do it? Because I wanted to put ya both through hell. Wanted ya beaten and broken by the time we finally met face to face.”
Seems like it worked perfectly, then. However, with my initial sadness subsiding a little, I find myself being a bit defensive. “You don’t think I wasn’t hurting that day too?”
Rage bursts from him like an explosion. “Ya remorse paled in comparison to my misery! I suffered torture and agony of both body and mind far greater than ya could ever comprehend!” And then, in a blink of an eye the fury disappears and he’s calm once more. He continues as if uninterrupted. “Anyway, I was worried ya’d lose Vim’s trail if ya survived the siege, but ya managed, as always, as I knew ya would. Then what ya experienced in Almaz, ya know, witnessing my conversation with Tolvik and Vim, now that was just perfect timing. Vim delayed things long enough while he waited for ya to show, at the expense of some of his brothers and sisters and Icromm’s lot.”
So Vim knew we were there all along? “Tolvik’s death?”
He shrugs. “Aye, I’ll admit his loss was unfortunate. I needed him unaware of my instructions to Vim to fulfil the game. Then what next? Oh yeah, manipulating those vampire half breed freaks to follow ya, fooling them to believe ya had the armour.”
How did he do that? Satipo spoke to them somehow after we’d escaped Almaz, like through the magical mirror that Vim used? I remember now, when they attacked us on the road, when I told one of them that Satipo had it, did the beast seem to react as if it already knew that name? “Those things killed Gregor.” Now that pisses me off!
A glimmer in his eyes. “Oh, well I didn’t know that. Makes sense seeing as he ain’t glued to your hip today. Gregor dead, eh…” He’s thoughtful for a moment and it’s difficult to read what he’s thinking. Then, with steely resolve, “Oh well, I suppose he had a good death, eh? It’s as I’d hoped would happen to him somewhere along the line.”
What? How can he be this callous? “He was our brother! He’d done you no wrong!”
“No! He was another best friend who left me behind to die. Another brother to abandon me! Followed ya around all these years like a damned lap dog! So I decided to cut away that tie to finally destroy ya!”
“He was our brother,” I whisper again, balling my hands into tight fists and kneading them into my scalp. Satipo says no more, just stands there staring at me while the truth sinks in. It burns as it does so, like acid. If this was all planned then that sparks another frightening question. “Why lead me here to Broken Naile?” I finally mutter.
“To keep ya away from our real base of operations. Obviously.” He laughs and waggles a finger. “Ya far too troublesome to have holed up there where ya can be a mischief. This way I can lock ya up at arms distance. Then of course there’s the matter of Wetlock.”
I go cold at the name and by the expression on his face he knows what I’m thinking. “Wetlock?”
“Don’t play dumb with me, Vet. I know she lives here. I always knew she lives here and I know she took ya in. Healed ya. Fed ya. Did she fuck ya too? I’d be surprised if she did, I’d heard how ya once tried to destroy her life too.”
“Leave her out of this! She had nothing to do with what happened between us!”
“Too late! Don’t ya get it yet, Vet? I want ya utterly destroyed inside, just like I was. Want ya to suffer and break. Wanna crumble ya in my palm until ya nothing more than dust. And I’ll use everything in arms reach to do that!”
“Satipo… Please…”
“That’s it, Vet. Beg!” Spittle flashes through the air at that word. “Won’t get ya anywhere but I’ll enjoy it all the same.” He glares maniacally. “There’s men watching her. We’ll see what happens, but know this: everything that happens to her will be by ya hands.”
I sit there, holding my head in those hands. Feels like my brain is whirling about in the chaos of a tornado. “So you’ve won your little game, Satipo,” I whisper, “You’ve broken me. What next?”
“Next? Well I’m gonna destroy the world and ya gonna watch me do it.”
Destroy the world. Quite a claim and one I would disregard without interest if I hadn’t seen that shadow queen and her potential future. The end may indeed come for us all. And what can I do about it from this cell? Nothing. Not that I could stop them anyway. Failing against the Reeve proved that I’m out of my depth here. I’m an old warrior with not enough oomph and too much baggage to make a difference. All I can do is sit here and obligingly wait for the killer comet.
“Why?” I ask. I just don’t get why Satipo would do such a thing.
“Why not?”
I close my eyes. “You’ve changed. This isn’t the Satipo I knew.”
“Oh, that Satipo died the day ya fucked it all up! Don’t ya get it yet? There ain’t no saving me and there ain’t no saving the world. Fuck, there’s no saving ya either! This world owes me for a lifetime of torture and pain! I think of what I could’ve done with me life instead of becoming a damaged, disregarded thing.”
“You’re pissed off with the world that you didn’t
make something of your life? Well join the club!”
“No!” he paws at his mangled face with mangled hands, “Ya never know what it was like!”
I sit up away from the wall, half kneeling, a lot more sense making its way through my addled emotions. “Look, I’m sorry what I did when it all turned to shit, but what happened with your life since then is on you!”
“Bullshit! You made me what I am today! And the world didn’t care.”
“And the world has to suffer the consequences?”
He nods. “Aye! Why not?”
“Because if there’s a score to settle, it should be with me alone.” At that I bang a fist to my chest.
Satipo laughs. “And where’s the fun in that?” He hunkers down onto his haunches to be eye level with me. “This is me starting afresh. I’ll burn away me dark history and come out the other side a new man, free from the pain.”
“I want that too… there’s other ways to do that though.”
“Bah! Any other way’s too boring. Besides, we’d still be two aging men with little life ahead of us.” Satipo sneers. “Getting old… We both despise it, Vet. Don’t tell me ya don’t. We both know that’s what beat ya today, not the Reeve. Aye, we both hate we’ve no way to stop it. One battle ya aint never gonna win. Some say we control our own destiny, well how’s that true when we ain’t even in control of our own fucking bodies? We’re just…” he tries to find the right words, “Just consciousness trapped inside flesh and bone. A sack of meat no different to a jail cell.” He thumps the bars. “Like this one. Don’t control our bowels, our hearts or the flow of blood. Don’t even control our own emotions. These bodies do what they want. We feed it because we gotta, like slaves, and every day our body dies that little bit more. I heard scholars say animals evolved into their perfect selves, but why ain’t we evolved into immortals then? Surely age is the greatest predator of them all?”
