I look at Ryder to see him patiently waiting for me to answer.
“What do you think?” I ask in derision. “Do you think I’m okay after everything that’s happened?”
Ryder doesn’t answer me straight away, he only
stares at me. “I went through exactly the same thing. I may not have lost my mother. Shit I don’t even know where the hell my mother is, but I lost a sister.” He looks away and tenses his jaw. “That girl meant absolutely everything to me. She was the only person who could make me smile and laugh, but when Anna died, I felt completely empty. I hated the thought of carrying on living without her. I turned to drinking, got into fights, slept around, but nothing could take my mind off of her.” He looks back at me, his eyes looking misty-eyed. “So, don’t think that I have no idea what you’re going through because trust me I do, I know exactly what it’s like to have a broken heart.”
I find it hard to come up with something to say to that, so when Ryder opens the door and exits the car, I feel a little relieved that I didn’t end up having to saying anything to him.
He comes around to my side of the car, opens the door and reaches over to grab my hand.
With our hands clasped together, he leads me up to the house without a word.
Just as we reach the front door, he stops and faces me. “Everyone’s here tonight, so it’s not just going to be the two of us. They don’t know what’s happened to your mum, so don’t feel like you need to give them an explanation right now, but in the morning, if they ask me why you’re here, then I’ll have to tell them. Is that
okay with you?” I answer him only with a nod.
As soon as I give him my answer, he opens the door, ignores the greetings from the wolves in the kitchen, and walks straight upstairs. He opens the door to one of the bedrooms and immediately, I take in the familiar purple painted walls, the poster bed, the two bedside tables, and the chaise lounge, but the one thing I’m drawn to mostly is the bookshelf placed on the left side of the room.
Ryder walks into the room, leaving me standing in the doorway. “I’m sure you remember this room. I’ve kept it exactly the way you left it from before.”
“Ryder, whose room is this?” I’m still curious to know exactly whose room this is.
He stops in the middle of the room, with his back to me. “This room is, I mean was, Anna’s. No one is allowed in this room except for me, of course. This room’s never been used. You’re the first person to ever sleep in this room besides Anna, so consider this as being your room. You can do whatever you want with it, decorate it however you like. It’s completely up to you.”
I look around the room and suddenly it all makes sense. “She had great taste. I can’t believe I never got the chance to meet her.”
Ryder turns around with a warm smile on his face.
“The two of you would’ve been really good friends. She would’ve liked you a lot Alice.”
I would’ve liked her too.
I walk inside the room and sit on the bed, completely drained. Ryder soon follows my steps and crouches down in front of me. “I’ll leave now so that you can have some privacy, but if you need me, all you have to do is say my name. It doesn’t matter if it’s a whisper, I’ll always be able to hear you.” He gets up and walks towards the door, but just before he leaves, he turns back to look at me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything for her. For the first time in my life, I’ve never felt so useless.” He turns and leaves, closing the door behind him.
Although Ryder’s left the room, his words still linger in the air.
I guess we both feel useless at this moment, we’re both Alpha’s but neither of us could do anything to save my mother. But why did Ryder say that he couldn’t turn her? Surely he’s turned more than one person, so he couldn’t be out of practice. I mean, he saved Kellan after he was shot, but Kellan was still alive when Ryder bit him. So, does that mean somebody has to be dying to become a wolf?
Being a wolf doesn’t seem as great as it sounds right now, and it’s not something I feel proud about. I thought being an Alpha meant you could do anything.
If I knew how to use my abilities, I would’ve been able to save her, so why give me these powers if in the end it’s actually meaningless to somebody who doesn’t even know how to use them?
What’s the point in being an Alpha if I don’t even know how to be one?
While I sit on the bed, contemplating, I realize that I’m still in the dirty clothes covered with blood.
Maybe now would be a good time to get cleaned up, but these blood stained clothes are the only reminder I have of what happened tonight. Getting rid of these clothes would be like throwing away and forgetting about what my mother went through tonight.
I won’t throw them away, I’ll keep the clothes safe, because every now and then, I’ll take a look at these clothes, and It’ll remind me that I have someone to find.
When I get to the bathroom, I see clothes already laid out for me on top of the counter, and from looking closer at them, they look similar to the clothes Ryder gave me before.
What is it with him giving me his clothes?
I don't waste time in getting out of my clothes. I’m so desperate to get under the hot water and wash the blood on my hands.
I don't think I’ll ever be able to feel truly clean again.
After spending a few minutes under the hot spray of water, I quickly dry myself and change into Ryder’s clothes. I sigh in contempt at the comfort his clothes provide and shortly leave the bathroom. I don’t see anybody on my way out and it makes me feel relieved. I don’t think I’d want to be seen and explain my reason for being here to the wolves.
I reach the bedroom, close the door tightly and move to the wardrobe placed next to the bookshelf. There, I fold the bloodstained clothes and place them inside one of the drawers.
After taking a couple of minutes looking at the clothes, I shut the drawer and make my way over to the bed.
After turning off all the lights in the room, I lay in the bed but feel very much unsettled. I don’t know if it’s because I’m alone, paranoid or maybe it’s the reason that I’m sleeping in a room that was once belonged to someone alive.
I turn onto my side, close my eyes and try really hard to get some sleep, I know that sleeping is probably the last thing on my mind after what happened today, but if I’m going to take down the killer, then I’m gonna need a lot of energy.
After minutes of trying to fall asleep and failing, I sit up from the bed in frustration.
Why can’t I fall asleep? It’s like my body’s going against me.
I didn't know why but I felt like something was missing.
The moment I found my mother, Ryder was the first person to stand by my side and with him, I feel protected and untouchable.
Immediately after Ryder left this room, I began to feel scared, and that’s not a feeling I’m used to.
Could it be that I’m missing him? I think quietly to myself if going to see him is the right choice to make.
Should I stay, or should I go?
It doesn’t take me long, because I’m out the door before I can even say go.
It doesn’t take me long to reach his bedroom, and when I do, I notice the door is slightly ajar. I gently open the door and from the lights in the hallway, I see Ryder lying on his front with the sheets resting at the bottom of his back.
I let myself in, close the door behind me and walk to the empty side of the bed, but the moment I place my palm on the bed, a hand grabs me around my wrist - and it takes me by surprise. Ryder turns over to face me, without letting me go.
“Alice?” He asks in a hoarse voice.
I couldn't bring myself to speak.
He lets go of my wrist and looks at me in concern. “Everything okay?”
Instead of answering him, I climb into the bed, and pull the covers over me. “Just hold me.”
I turn over, with my back facing him, and immediately he wraps his arms around me.
Chapter 3
The next morning, I wake up to an empty bed. I look at his side of the bed and feel a little disappointed.
A part of me was hoping to see Ryder lying next to me, but the other part of me feels relieved that he’s not here. There’s no explaining last night to him, but I just wanted to be held by the only person I really care about.
As I move to get up from the bed, I start hearing voices out of nowhere.
What the hell?
I look around the room to see if there's a TV’s on or the radio, but frown when I don’t see either objects in the room.
Where the hell are the voices coming from?
When I try to get off the bed for the second time, I stop again when I hear the voices.
It must be the wolves talking downstairs, but the kitchens on the other side of the house. Is it possible that I can hear what they’re saying, from here?
Why all of a sudden is this happening?
I close my eyes, try to clear my head and focus as hard as I can on the voices coming from below, but I can’t make out what anyone’s saying.
Maybe I need to try a little harder.
When I concentrate much harder, it’s Kellan’s voice I hear first.
“Ryder, what’s happened?”
He sighs. “Her mother was murdered last night. That’s why she’s here.”
Silence.
“For how long?” Silver asks coldly.
I knew Silver would hate me being here, and this just proves that I was right, but I’m a little hurt to hear the tone of her voice pointed towards me.
My mother’s just been killed!
Ryder scoffs. “Does it matter how long? Her mother’s just been murdered and that’s the first thing you say?”
“What else was I supposed to ask?”
“How about asking if she’s doing okay?” Kellan’s voice rises.
“Who the fuck cares?”
Ryder growls. “Don’t talk like that Silver. I won’t have it!”
“Why? She's a nuisance.”
What?
“Silver!” Ryder warns. “What? It’s true!”
“Silver, her mum’s dead.” Says Kellan.
“Why should I care if her mum’s been killed? She’s nothing to me.”
Ouch.
“Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time? Alice has been nothing but polite to you.”
“Did I ask her to be polite to me, Kellan? No!” Why did she hate me so much?
“I mean, do you feel even a little sympathy for her?” Kellan asks.
There was no hesitation. “No, I don’t.” Silence.
Kellan’s voice rises. “Do you even have feelings?”
“Fuck you, Kellan. Stop trying to make me pity her because it’s not going to work. I don’t care about her, I don’t care that her mum’s dead, and I don’t care that her whole life is a massive fuck up. It’s her fault that all of this is happening. Why can’t you all see that?”
Out of nowhere, a sound comes from downstairs, like somebody’s punched the wall.
“Be careful. Be very careful what you say next, Silver.” Ryder bellows.
“Just get rid of her!” She shouts.
“She’s got nowhere else to go!’ Ryder roars. “And she can stay however long she fucking wants. It’s up to me who I bring in this house! Not you!”
“How could you be so stupid in letting that thing come here!?” Silver shrieks.
Just then, an unexpected voice joins the argument, and his words even have me shivering, and I’m not even in the room.
“Silver, shut that fucking mouth of yours before I sew it shut for you.” Bane growls.
A long pause.
She gasps. “Bane?”
She genuinely sounds betrayed. “You heard me.”
She whimpers in response.
Kellan speaks up, his tone softened. “Just stop being like this. You were never like this before. Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, yeah? Try to see it
from Alice’s perspective. Her dad left when she was young, her best friend is in the hospital, and now her mum’s been murdered. Can you imagine what she’s going through right now?” He sighs. “But what do I know? I feel like I don’t know you anymore because you’re such an unpredictable person. But what I do know is that ever since Alice came into our lives and got attention from Ryder, you’ve changed to being a really horrible person, do you know that? You were never like this before.”
“Open your fucking eyes Kellan. I’ve always been a horrible person, and always will be. You don’t know me. So, stop pretending that you do, because you don’t.”
“You still shouldn’t be acting like this, especially if it’s someone we know that’s been killed!” Kellan spits.
“Alice’s mother meant nothing to either of us. I didn’t even know her, so why should I give a damn?”
All three of the male’s growl in response to her. “No she’s right. Why should she care?”
All eyes turn towards me to where I’m standing just outside the kitchen, and they all look like they’ve seen a ghost.
Huh. I guess they didn’t expect to see me.
“You’re awake, did you sleep well?” Kellan looks at me apologetically.
Ryder moves from leaning against the counter to stand in front of me. “You should be in bed, resting.”
I just stare at him. “How can I when all I hear is you four arguing?”
No one says a word in response.
“I feel like I’m interrupting. Please carry on with whatever it is you were talking about. Don’t stop on my account.” I say this while staring at Silver, but she just looks away from me.
“We were done anyway. So, you can go.” She says in a bored tone.
This girl is really starting to piss me off.
I move past Ryder and approach Silver to where she sits at the table, and as I walk towards her, I notice a huge dent in the wall. Do I really need to guess who did that?
When I approach her, she glares at me.
“Well, I’m not done. You see, when I was upstairs, I couldn’t help but overhear you spitting insults about my mother. My dead mother.” I hold back the tears that threaten to fall. Silver looks as though she either wants to hit me or run away. “Nobody talks about my mother like that, so who the hell do you think you
are?” I lean closer to her, placing my hands on the arms of the chair she’s sat in. “You really need to watch what you say, because you never know who might be listening. Don’t ever make that mistake again otherwise me and you, are gonna have a problem.”
“Are you threatening me?”
I lean away from her. “It’s a warning, Silver. And if I were you, I’d listen the first time.”
As I walk away from her, I hear her getting out from the chair. “You think you can just talk like that to me and walk away? Who are you to talk down on me?”
I sigh as I turn to face her. “Did you forget that I’m a wolf too? Oh wait, I’m actually an Alpha, which means a wolf like you, is beneath me. Talk to me again when your position has improved to a higher rank.”
“You don’t deserve to be an Alpha! You’ve done nothing to earn that right!” Silver grits out.
“That’s true. I didn’t do anything to earn the right to being an Alpha, but it’s just the way it is. Now, if I heard right, an Alpha needs a pack. Do you want to join me?” I say to her unconvincingly.
She scoffs. “I’d rather cut out my eyes than...” “Good answer.” I interrupt her. “You’re lucky that
you’re alive right now, because if I was your Alpha, you wouldn’t be breathing right now for the way you've been talking. You disgust me.” I dismiss her by walking away to see three emotionless faces looking back at me.
On my way out of the kitchen, I pass Ryder to say. “You really shouldn’t punch walls.”
When I reach t
he back, I let out a huge sigh, and close my eyes. A breath of fresh air is exactly what I needed. I don’t know what came over me in there, but I won’t have anyone talking about my mother like that.
It’s still hard to believe that’s she’s gone. The day feels empty without her, but I don’t like to think about her because it’ll only bring me pain, and I can’t afford to let myself be in that kind of state right now.
There’s only one thing on my mind, and that’s for me to find my mother’s killer before somebody else becomes a victim.
This all needs to end.
“You want to tell me what that was in there?” A voice from behind surprises me, but I recognise his voice immediately.
“She was pissing me off, and if I didn’t do anything about it now, god knows what I would’ve done later on.”
Ryder comes to stand next to me with his hands in his pockets, and stares ahead. “Silver knows how to piss people off, and she’s good at it too.”
“Can we not talk about her, please? I came out here to calm down, not to get riled up again.”
Silence.
“I wanted to apologise that you had to hear that. I know you’ve just lost your mother, and that was probably the last thing you wanted to hear. It’s my fault she’s acting like this. She’s only doing it to spite me.”
I face him in appal. “Did your mother just get murdered? No. So, why would she act like that just to spite you?”
“She knows I care about you a lot.”
I point back at the house. “That in there was not about me and you. That was something completely different.”
He turns and stares at me. “Half of the things she says, she doesn’t think before speaking.”
Chasing the Beta Page 2
