by Riley Murphy
“You don’t have to be because I am.”
It was his tone that caught and held her attention. “I’m going to cut you some slack for the first few days, Colin. I understand they’ll be an adjustment period for you to get over, but once you do I expect you to be a big girl about all this. No complaining or bratting. No pushing me. You’re here to learn things about yourself and I can’t lead you to discovery if I’m constantly fighting you.”
She searched his face, thinking about his words and mulling over her options.
“It’s only ten days, sweetheart. Give them to me. I promise, if nothing else, you’ll have a better understanding of the triggers that drive you to do the things you do with men.”
“You make it sound like therapy.”
He pulled her closer to him. “In a way it is, I suppose. Isn’t therapy all about getting in touch with one’s inner self? Embracing the child within, flaws and all?”
It sounded normal. Better than normal and that was just messed up because she kept coming back to the strong caress with a paddle he’d mentioned. “Aren’t there hard limits you’re not supposed to cross? I think your spanking me is one of mine.”
He laughed and it was a low and dirty one. Smutty and sexy at the same time. It made her body heat and nipples tighten and poke against her bra.
“I won’t forget you said that.” He leaned forward and nuzzled her neck. Placing soft, sucking kisses along the column of her throat. Teasing her. Thrilling her until her head tilted, giving him better access. When she sighed, he shifted and whispered directly in her ear, “Because when you’re begging me for that kind of attention. When you’ve crawled to me on all fours looking for it, needing it, wanting it more than the oxygen you breathe, it will be by your own words I’ll deny you for that much longer. Think carefully about what you divulge. I may use the information against you to heighten the experience…for me.”
That made her shiver, but before she could question him further he withdrew his hands and stood. It gave her a moment to assess him. Here was a real man. Strong, rugged and self-possessed. Question was, could she handle him? Her eyes involuntarily widened when they landed on the spot between his hips. He was huge. Long and thick. And the fact that he was hard gave her courage. At least she knew she’d affected him so he wasn’t totally self-possessed.
“Okay. I’ll commit to the task and give you the ten days.”
“Good.”
“I’m—” She may as well start off on the right note. “I’m really going to try to understand all this and I’ll go with the flow when I can.”
He helped her up. Taking hold of her chin, he tugged until their gazes met. “That pleases me, Colin.”
Before he got too happy she figured she put this out there. “But…”
“Yes?”
“I’m not going to call you Master or Sir or your Highness or anything like that. It makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it.”
“I prefer Sir and when the time comes it won’t be your comfort you’re worried about.”
She didn’t have a chance to deny his prediction because he hauled her up for a kiss. An open-mouthed, tongue dueling, rock-you-to-the-bottom-of-your-soul kind of embrace that left little doubt of the fact. She was enthralled, overwhelmed and euphorically content at the same time. She would have stayed like this forever, but he released her and her world stopped spinning.
She caught hold of his biceps to steady herself and then squeezed his bulging muscles when she heard his next quiet words.
“I will cherish you enough to correct you and I want to start now.”
She thought he was going to kiss her again. He leaned down and descended a few inches, but just then his cellphone rang.
Checking his caller, ID he frowned. “Go get your laptop while I take this call. When I’m done I’ll show you the office.”
She nodded even while two words rang in her ears. “Correct” and “cherish”.
Chapter Six
Colin brought her laptop in from the car and Ethan was waiting at the front door for her.
“Take off your shoes and put them there.” He indicated a small mat off to one side against the wall, adding, “I have to say those pumps are a huge improvement over the loafers you wore to the preopening.”
Hating that she loved his comment, she kicked off one shoe before angling to shake off the other. “I told you. Those weren’t my shoes. What I failed to mention was that they were Darla’s. She’s my office gal. She has club feet and those suckers were weighted. You ever see the original Mummy? No? Well, I was like that guy walking around in them.” She scrunched up her nose, ignored his bland expression and kept on rambling, “Truth be told, I was a little hurt that Casper never noticed that I have great taste in shoes. If he had he never would have made that kind of mistake, ya know?”
“Colin?”
Rushing past him, she practically cringed hearing his call. “Yes?” She was sure he was going to nail her for being an anxious, blathering, idiotic mess. But it wasn’t her fault. She was trying to stay calm even as every nerve ending in her body hummed in anticipation of his attention.
“I’ll take the laptop. I want you to fix your shoes.”
Looking down, she noticed that one pump was lying on its side, while the other was perpendicular to it and neither of them had hit the mat as requested. She shrugged, handed him the laptop and crouched down to straighten them. That’s when she spied his shoes. They were nice. Black leather, Italian probably. And more importantly, still on his feet.
“Place them on the mat.”
“Ooh-kay.” When she had, she stood and patted her bun, her gaze still lingering on his Oxfords. “Why don’t you take off your shoes?”
“This is my home, Colin, and I want you to respect it. I’ll be paying attention to the efforts you make in this regard and your dedication to certain things I will require from you. I understand the customs of your traditional upbringing, but make no mistake. With me, over the next little while you’re going to have to put those aside.”
She felt as if this was a precipice somehow. As if he were giving her one last chance to agree or disagree to explore this type of power exchange. When she’d fantasized about this moment coming to pass, it always played out in a sexual way and lining her shoes at the front door was so far from smexxy she was instantly disappointed.
Without looking at him, she bent to the mat and centered her shoes on it, making sure they were perfectly square. “There. Is that better?”
“Yes. I like watching you please me. I can’t wait until you’re doing it all the time.”
His gaze heated her up and those words sent a rush of pleasure sweeping through her so fast she was instantly dizzy. She slapped her palm against the wall for support. What the heck was wrong with her?
“You feel this?” Before she could lean away, his hand pressed against the hot blush on her skin. “You need a man in your life, sweetheart. A man so you can satisfy his demands instead of chasing your own, don’t you?”
Did she?
He moved in closer and she backed into the wall. Loving the prison that was created for her. Wanting more than just his hand on her cheek.
“Do you see how much pleasure you get from making me happy even in this small task?” He brushed his thumb over her lips. “Those vanilla ideas of equality you’re clinging to are at war with your sexuality. You don’t want to be my equal, Colin, because submission is your power. And every time you insist on a level playing field between us you lose it.”
He stepped back and she sank against the wall. The first thought to penetrate the intense haze was maybe shoes could be sexy.
“I’ll show you the space in my office that you may use for work.”
The office, as it turned out, was on his side of the house and no matter how hard she tried to stay focused walking down that hall, she couldn’t help thinking his bedroom was the room at the end. Behind those huge double doors that were closed at the moment.
“You can work here.” Putting down her laptop, he turned to her.
She took one look at the table, which was more like a counter, and sighed. “Sure, this will do, but with a view like that,” she indicated to the large picture window and the lake that spread out beyond it and shook her head, “it seems like a shame to face a blank wall.”
That’s when she noticed his desk, how it was positioned and frowned. “For heaven’s sake. Why would you put your back to that view when you don’t have to?” Turning full circle, she counted at least three other possible placements for his desk where he’d be able to enjoy the view.
“I choose when to enjoy that beauty. It’s a matter of discipline. Of not being lured or distracted by pretty things.”
Right. Somehow she got the impression he wasn’t talking about the view. “Can I sit at your desk when you’re not using it?”
“No.”
“What about when you’re not home?”
“No, especially then. I expect you to remember this, Colin. It’s a rule and I don’t want it broken.”
She cocked her head to one side and asked, “Is taking off my shoes when I enter the house a rule too?”
“Yes.”
“Hmm… Do you have rules you have to follow?” She leaned back against the counter and folded her arms across her chest. “I’m curious.” Actually, she was more suspicious while she waited for his answer.
“I have protocols, traditions, tenets that I adhere to.” He came to her and gently pulled on her arms until they were no longer crossed. “You are welcome to be curious, but mind your body language.”
“Excuse me?”
“When you cross your arms you’re putting a barrier up between me and you. It suggests that you aren’t open to me and that displeases me.”
She wanted to say something clever or glib and yet all she had was more curiosity. “Do you expect total compliance from your women?”
He motioned for her to sit. When she did he leaned back on the edge of his desk. “Subs. My answer to that is eventually. It takes time and with time comes trust. I want you to obey me, Colin, because you choose to and not because I forced you to.”
This didn’t sound right to her. From what she’d read about the BDSM community there were people online who submitted to a Dom’s orders or else they were dropped. And some of those demands she’d read about were outrageous. “But I thought…”
“Yes?”
“I thought that the Dom orders his sub to do things.”
“Things?” Nothing moved on him except his eyebrows. They held a steady arch. Wow, to have unfailing confidence the way he did would be awesome. But with that came a downside. The bugger knew what things she was referring to, and it was clear by the gleam in his eyes he was going to make her say them aloud. “Sex things.” All she could hear was a tiny voice in her head screaming, Chicken. Say it. Say it! “Fellatio.”
As quickly as that burst out of her so did a monumental desire to melt into the chair.
She expected him to laugh. Instead he got all serious. “Is this what you’re interested in? The sexual aspect of submission?”
“I don’t know,” she grumbled. “That does seem to be what most people talk about.”
“The most sensationalized, you mean.”
She scrunched her nose. “Really? So it’s not true?” She was somewhat disappointed. Not that she’d seen herself hanging in chains or being whipped with a crop, but some of the stuff looked doable. With him. Totally.
“I didn’t say that. I only meant that often the sex is highlighted, never mind all the work and preparations that comes before it. Maybe you should tell me how you envision yourself submitting to me.”
That was a definite no. She wasn’t going to be sharing those dirty thoughts with him. Never. “I, ah, figure you’d tell me to do things and I’d, you know, do them.”
“I see.” He nodded as if he did, but then he asked, “You’ll simply do as I tell you without question? Like…” He tapped his index finger against pursed lips, stopping to conclude, “Taking your shoes off at the front door and setting them neatly on a mat? Or, maybe adhering to a simple rule I set where you don’t sit at my desk?”
“Well, those are…they’re not the kind of things I was expecting. I was surprised.”
He stared right at her. “So, if I told you to take off that pretty blouse of yours and drop to your knees in front of me that would be more in line with what you’re expecting?”
It sure was, but she wasn’t going to admit it. She wasn’t going to lie to him either. What to do? She could hear the Jeopardy theme song playing in her head and when it ended, she shrugged. She was getting really good at that noncommittal gesture.
“Unacceptable. I want to hear a definitive answer, Colin.”
Of course he did. “I, ah, suppose so.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Definitive. Not the verbal equivalent of one of your famous shrugs.” He stood and his gaze never wavered. “Yes or no?”
When he looked at her like he was now she got nervous. Hot. Restless. “Yes.”
“Good. Was that so hard?”
She’d rather have crawled through a walkway of flaming coals so she could slam her hand in a car door, but she was determined to be grown up about all this. “This is hard for me.”
“I understand. That’s why I’m going slowly. I say what I mean and I mean what I say and as long as you remember that, you’ll do just fine accepting the ways I choose to draw out your submission.”
He was talking about the shoes this time. She was sure of it. “I promise to take my shoes off when I come into your home.”
“That’s very good, Colin. Soon, however, I may require you to take off more than just your shoes when you step through that door.”
She gulped and couldn’t look him in the eyes.
“I love that.”
“W-what?” She thought he was going to say something about her promise, so when she heard his answer, she got lightheaded.
“I love to see your head bowed and your gaze lowered to the floor at my feet.”
Fuck yes. Her down-tilted head sent a bolt of heat to his cock and a jolt of pleasure to his brain. If he wanted to make it a trend, he’d have to earn her trust. From her past experience with John, who he could cheerfully strangle, he knew that wasn’t going to be easy.
“This morning I want you to do your blog. I have to go out for a couple of hours but when I get back we’ll have some lunch and then I thought we’d play a game.”
Chaste and demure went out the window as she snapped her head up. “Game?”
“Yes.” He stepped forward, loving how her upturned face told him all he needed to know at the moment. She was wary but intrigued. “Do you play chess?”
She nodded.
“Good. We’ll have a game this afternoon and by then I’ll have dinner figured out. Any dietary concerns I should be aware of? Anything you are allergic to or something you can’t stand to eat?”
“No allergies. I can eat pretty much anything but I hate kale.”
“You’re not allergic to it?”
She frowned. “No, but I won’t eat it.” She emphasized her point by doing a coughing gag. “Don’t tell me, let me guess. Kale’s a favorite of yours?”
He ignored that and asked, “You eat meat and fish?”
“Yes.”
“Great. As I said I have to go out for a few hours.” He stalked back to his desk and took out a note pad. Jotting down a number, he gave it to her. “If you need anything, give me a call.”
“I usually do my blog in the afternoon.”
He was heading for the door and stopped. Turning back he said, “And?”
“So our chess game might have to be pushed back.”
“Absolutely not. Your blogging will have to be pushed forward. I’ve given you,” he looked at his watch and estimated, “three and a half hours to get your work done. I’ll want to read it when I get back. Before lunch. So g
et started.”
“I can’t just blog on a whim. It’s a creative process, you know.”
“What I know is that you’re wasting time.” He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “What do you usually do in the mornings?”
“I have my coffee. Read the news. Watch Judge Judy. Feed my cat.” She shrugged. “That kind of stuff.”
“Wasting time. Aside from the cat. I assume you have someone watching your pet for you.” At her nod, he continued. “Good. As for the rest of those things, break time, television and yesterday’s happenings, they are a waste of today’s productivity. Do your blog first and if there’s time left between finishing that and lunch, you’re free to do whatever you like.”
“But first I have to do what you like?”
Apparently she was going to fight him every step of the way. “Yes.”
“Why?” She shook her head and held up her hand before he had a chance to say anything. “Never mind. Don’t answer that. I know why, I just don’t know why I said that. This submission thing isn’t as easy as I thought it was going to be.”
She looked so upset with herself that he couldn’t help smiling. “Colin, come here.”
Her hangdog expression made his smile deepen. When she stopped in front of him he chuckled and lifted her chin. “We haven’t started the ‘submission thing’ yet. Are you okay?”
“We haven’t?”
He shook his head.
“Then I’m definitely not okay.” She shifted from one stocking foot to the other but he refused to give up his grip on her chin until finally she whispered, “I’m a wreck.”
He examined the light dusting of honey-colored freckles on her nose and sighed, “You’re an adorable one. Where are your glasses?”
“The black ones? I only wear those when I work with my stationary camera. Why?”
He dropped his hand and stepped back, shrugging. “Just wondering.” Which wasn’t true at all. She was less kissable with the glasses on and right about now he was hoping some of her disguise or a bit of her armor was around to help him out. He needed to take things slowly. At least initially.
