“I would. What if we aren’t...”
She put her hands on the table next to her plate and looked over at him, seeing the same uncertainty in his eyes that she felt deep inside. “No matter what, I think you and I have to figure out how to be friends. Unless one of us is leaving Cole’s Hill. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“How do we do that, Had?” he asked just as the waiter brought their drinks.
Luckily, it gave her a reprieve from answering because she had no idea what to say. She wondered if too much had passed between them for them to ever just be friends but she hoped not. They could surely figure this out. Especially if she was pregnant. They were going to have to do something more than just be polite to each other. She wanted them to be friends, at least.
But how could she trust him? Really trust him? She wanted to believe he’d changed but was it permanent or was it simply that he felt bad for hurting her? Was it at his core?
“Hadley?”
“Hmm?”
“Have you decided what you want to eat?” Mauricio asked.
She hadn’t even looked at the menu tonight but had been here so many times over the course of her life that she knew what she was going to have. She ordered the four-ounce filet mignon with the chef’s special sauce, which had a creamy peppercorn flavor. After the waiter left, she realized that next Mo was going to want to talk about what they should do if the pregnancy test was positive.
She didn’t want that. She wasn’t sure that she could talk about a hypothetical and honor whatever agreement they made before she knew if the pregnancy was real or not. She only knew that she wasn’t ready to walk away from Mauricio and that she was going to do her best to figure out if that meant starting a friendship with him or something more.
“So...”
“Would you mind terribly if we didn’t discuss this tonight?” she asked. She was sort of surprised that she’d blurted out what was on her mind instead of doing as she usually did, which was accommodating him. Trying to guess what he wanted.
“Not at all. I thought you wanted to talk about it,” he said.
“Not until we have to,” she said. “Now tell me about your day.”
“It wasn’t too bad. I’m working on a few details for a new charity project and I had a showing on the Dunwoody mansion.”
“I love that house. Is it as gorgeous inside as it used to be?”
“It’s still nice but everything is dated. They could probably use someone like you to update the interior,” he said.
“I don’t do houses,” she said.
“Not professionally but what you did at the house we shared was really good. Relaxing and elegant.”
“Maybe too relaxing,” she said without thinking.
“Probably. Made me think I didn’t have to worry about you,” he said. “But I should have, Hadley. I’ll be honest. I think I took advantage of you because you were always so accommodating.”
“I think I let you,” she admitted. “I wanted what my parents have and for some reason I thought if I made life easy for you, you’d do the same.”
“I wish I had,” he admitted.
She just nodded. “The food here is really good.”
He let her change the topic and they talked about the high school football team and the new menu at Famous Manu’s but she couldn’t help noticing that Mo got quieter and a little tenser.
As the evening wore on, she realized that by relaxing and being herself, she was enjoying her time with Mauricio more than she had in the entire last year they’d dated. She was able to concentrate on what he was saying and realized he was a really good storyteller. As the evening ended, she felt that no matter what the outcome of the pregnancy test, the two of them were setting up the bonds of a true friendship.
Eight
After dinner, Mauricio suggested they tour the new polo grounds and stables that he and Diego had recently opened on the outskirts of Cole’s Hill. He was happy when she said yes.
“Diego and Bartolome Figueras are both the experts when it comes to horses and polo but I still wanted to invest and be a full partner in the facility,” he said as they drove through the quiet town. Bart was a famed polo player and model from Argentina. He’d been friends with the Velasquez family for years.
“I’m glad you are. You always wanted to be more than the man who makes the real estate deals,” she said.
His ego perked up that she remembered that tidbit about him. But he knew that was simply because she tended to listen when he talked. He wished he could say the same about himself. He didn’t know as many details about her from their time together.
“What about you?” he asked. “I know you have the exhibit, and Bianca mentioned you do some sort of class once a week.”
Hadley rested her head against the leather seat and turned to stare out the window at the passing landscape.
“Yes, I have the Wednesday night drawing class for serious artists and I’m thinking of adding a Mommy-Daddy-and-Me art class either after school or on the weekends,” she said. “I’m still trying to figure out what I want the shop to be. I don’t need to make a profit at this moment in time because I’m still working with one of my bigger clients in Manhattan so that covers the bills, and I own the property where the shop and loft are outright—thanks to you. I never would have thought to invest in real estate if you hadn’t made me.”
He couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him. “Darling, no man on this planet has ever made you do anything. The word stubborn was invented for you.”
He glanced over to see her smiling to herself. “You are just used to women taking one look at your muscles and charming smile and giving in to whatever you suggest. I’m...discerning.”
He had been used to that. From the very beginning, Hadley had been different and he liked the challenge of her. She kept him on his toes.
“You are certainly that,” he agreed, turning off the main FM road toward the polo grounds.
He pulled up to the main building containing the stables and put the car in Park. “I need to text Diego and let him know I’m here so he doesn’t come out if the alarm goes off.”
“Sure,” she said. “I’m going to walk over there by the fence. I’ve been wanting to see the new grounds.”
He nodded. As she got out of the car, he followed her, texting his brother, who simply told him to have fun and make sure he locked up when he left. Then he caught up to Hadley where she leaned against the fence. The breeze caught her hair, pulling at it and drawing it away from her face. She had her head tipped back and his breath caught in his chest. She was too good for him, but he still wanted her more than anything in this world. She’d always made him a better man and he’d never realized that until he’d lost her.
He raised his phone, snapped a picture of her and then pocketed it. He knew himself well enough to guess he’d screw this up again and he wanted a record of this moment when they were getting along perfectly and nothing else had intruded.
She glanced over her shoulder at him as he approached. “Did you get permission, or do we have to keep an eye out for Johnny Law?”
“When have you ever had to worry about the cops?” he asked. If there was a poster child for being a good girl, Hadley was it. She was a rule follower and stickler for doing things properly.
“Never,” she admitted. “It doesn’t even make me embarrassed. I hate that feeling I get when I know I’m doing something I shouldn’t.”
“Like what?”
“Dancing with you,” she said.
“Touché.”
“I’m just saying you feel dangerous to me. You make me... Well, that’s not fair. It’s not you making me do anything. Around you, I just forget my normal self and the things I do to make my life comfortable... I’m just making it worse, aren’t I?”
“No, you’re not.
I think I like that something about me makes you uncomfortable, unless you meant it in a negative way. Did you?”
She turned around, leaning back against the fence with her arms on the top railing. “No, I didn’t. Most of the time I like being the good girl, the one who knows all the rules of etiquette and how to act in public. But with you, I also feel edgy. Like I should throw all of that out and just be...different. Just take a chance.”
He wanted her to take a chance—on him. He’d been thinking about her a lot since they’d broken up. He knew they’d been young when they’d first hooked up. They both came from good families so everyone thought they were a good match but, honestly, he’d never really taken the time to find out what it was they had in common beyond upbringing.
And it was an opportunity he wasn’t going to waste again.
* * *
Hadley hadn’t meant to be as honest as all that with Mo. Not tonight and maybe not ever. There was something that made her feel vulnerable when she stepped out of the shadow of her very proper mother and let her real self shine through. She wasn’t ever going to be fully comfortable with that. But with Mo, who had seen her at her best and arguably at her absolute worst, she sort of had no choice.
“What about you?” she asked. “Do I do anything to you?”
“Other than turn me on?” he asked.
She glanced away. Of course, he’d bring it back to the physical. She bared her soul and he wanted to talk about the ridiculously hot passion that had always been between them.
“Hey,” he said, coming over and putting his hand on her upper arm. “I’m sorry. I guess what you do is make me feel vulnerable. Like I have something that I don’t want to let go of, and instead of reacting like a grown-up, I fall back to being a teenage boy with the hots for the prettiest girl in Cole’s Hill.”
She felt her heart soften a little toward him. She didn’t know if he was playing her right now but she was going to take him at his word. “I’m not the prettiest, I can tell you that. I mean, Helena is gorgeous, your sister was a supermodel—”
“You are to me. I don’t know about either of them. Since they’re sisters to us, I don’t see them the way I see you. And truthfully, it’s not just those two, Had. I don’t see other women the way I see you. Something about you is just...perfect for me.”
“Then why was Marnie in your room?”
“I missed you,” he said. “I wasn’t sure you were ever coming back. You know I had texted you and you never responded.”
“I didn’t,” she admitted. “I was afraid we’d just continue the rest of our lives breaking up and getting back together...but then I was in Cole’s Hill and I had to see you. I know that part of this was my fault—”
“No. It was me,” he said. “I cared about you back then and I still do today. I shouldn’t have slept with anyone else.”
The evening breeze stirred around them and she tipped her head back, taking in the moon and the seriousness in his eyes.
“Do you mean that?”
“I do,” he said, drawing his hand down her arm and leaving gooseflesh in its wake. He linked their fingers together and started walking across the paddock toward the main building. “Remember when we first started dating and I used to always look at you?”
“Yes. I think I said stop staring at me, creeper,” she said with a laugh.
“You did,” he confirmed. “But a part of me couldn’t believe you were mine, that you’d picked me out of all the other men you could have chosen. I kept looking at you to see if you had regrets, and I’m pretty sure that’s where our troubles started. I never felt like I was enough for you.”
She stopped walking and looked over at him. “Mauricio Velasquez, million-dollar deal maker, son of one of the most prestigious Five Families...you were enough. Sometimes more than enough. You can be very intense.”
He dropped her hand. “We should have talked about this, shouldn’t we have?”
“Probably, but we weren’t ready for that. I had this image in my head of what kind of couple we should be, you had something you wanted us to be too, and we are both very competitive when it comes to our careers. I think talking would have been hard when we were together.”
He turned away and started walking again and she fell into step beside him until they got to the barn where the horses were kept. He entered a code and then held the door open for her as she walked inside. She realized that something she’d said bothered him, and as he moved silently past her to turn on the light, she wished she knew what it was. They were never going to be one of those totally in sync couples like Helena and Malcolm were or like his sister, Bianca, and her husband. Was it her?
“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something that upset you,” she began.
“Stop. I’m a man, not some wuss. I don’t get upset,” he said.
“What do you get then?” she asked, because he was clearly out of sorts. When her daddy got like this, her mother would send him out to his man cave until he could be decent, to put it in her mom’s famous words.
“Pissed off. And I’m not pissed at you, darling, but at myself for thinking I’m even worthy of you, that we could be rebuilding a relationship.”
She realized they needed to talk. She wasn’t sure what she wanted from this. Friendship, of course. That was a must, no matter how much further it went.
She went over to a stall where one of the horses had come and put its nose over the railing. She held her hand out for the horse to smell her first, and then once it seemed to accept her, she pet it.
If there were only some way of doing that with Mo. Some signal he could give her of what he wanted.
“I’m not sure what’s going on between us,” she began, her own voice low in part not to startle the horse but also because she wasn’t sure of what she was saying. “Today I realized that we’re going to have to be friends. Then tonight as we talked at dinner and I had a really good time, I hope it’s the start of a new phase for us.”
She looked over at him where he stood in the middle of the aisle with his hands on his hips just watching her. She wanted to trust him. The lights made his black hair look darker than midnight. It was so thick, she wished she could reach out and thread her fingers through it like she was doing to the horse’s mane.
“If I’m pregnant, that will force us into making choices we might not have made. But if I’m not, I still want to work on our friendship.”
* * *
He wanted that too. But he felt like he was already letting her down. He didn’t do conversations about emotions well, and the only emotions he’d ever really felt at ease with were anger or passion. But he knew that wasn’t going to be enough. Not with Hadley. Not this time.
There was a reason why they kept breaking up each time they tried again. And she was so right when she said that the baby—if there was one—would complicate things.
“I want that too. I’m not going to pretend I don’t want to sleep with you and that I’m not thinking about last night every time I look at you. I mean, I’m smart enough to know that’s not what either of us needs right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you.”
She smiled at him. It was the sweetest smile he’d seen on her face in a long time, like the one she’d worn last night when she’d been sleeping in his arms and he thought he’d done something right. Like he’d said the right thing. But what the hell was it?
“I want you too. But I think that’s gotten in our way over the years. It’s so easy to fall into each other’s arms instead of talking things through. For both of us,” she said. “But if you’re on the same page as I am, why don’t we try the friends thing, no matter what the outcome of the test—which I will go to Houston and pick up.”
Friends.
“Is this you friend-zoning me? Or are you saying if we’re friends first, we’ll be a stronger couple if we get to that stage later?” he
asked.
“The second one. I want you too, Mo. That’s never been an issue. I really want to figure out how to live together in this small town of ours, and if we have a kid to raise together, we have to know how to do that. That’s got to be the first thing.”
What she said made sense. Even though he had been hoping to get her into his arms again tonight, he could wait if it meant that this time if they got back together, it would last.
He was getting to the age where a crazy roller-coaster relationship wasn’t what he wanted. Maybe it was seeing his brother getting married or spending so much time with his nephew, but he knew he wanted something more substantial for this next phase of his life. His thirties...that’s when his dad had always said it was time to grow up.
“Okay,” he said. “Let’s do this friend thing.”
“Okay...so what do we do now?” she asked.
“Don’t ask me. I’m still trying to stop thinking about kissing you again. And how much I want to pull you into my arms.”
“Stop that,” she said, wagging her finger at him. “Now you’ve got me thinking about it too.”
“Good,” he said with a wink. “Want to go for a ride? Or should I take you home?”
“Home, I think,” she said after a pause. “But I do want to come back and tour the polo grounds. When is your next match?”
“Two weeks,” he said. “We’re doing a charity match against Bartolome and his team. It will be for fun, but you know we don’t want to lose.”
“When have you and your brothers ever approached a sport as just fun?”
“Never. We picked a date when Inigo wasn’t going to be racing and could come home to play with us. He’s technically not allowed to do anything high risk, which is why we’re just saying this is an informal match.” She shook her head and he just shrugged. “We’re all rule breakers.”
“I know that, Mo, believe me. For some reason it’s one of the things I like about you.”
“I’d never do anything to put anyone in danger,” he said, as he led her out of the stables and turned out the lights. They walked over to his car in silence and when he opened her door for her, she brushed past him and then she stopped.
One Night With His Ex (One Night Book 1; Velasquez Brothers Book 2) Page 8
