But perhaps that was wrong, too? Perhaps love did just happen, with delicious surprise, when you first laid eyes on the special person with whom you wanted to share the rest of your life.
Or... Maybe it all depended on what sort of person you were?
So all she really knew, she decided, was that it was too soon for her to be certain – about anything.
But there was something else she knew: life with Don, life here, would probably be wonderful. It was just a little too soon, a little too early, to be taking such big decisions. He wasn’t giving her time to think.
Still, he hadn’t actually asked her yet, had he? She smiled. Perhaps she was going too fast, too. Perhaps she was reading too much into things. This was a different country, after all. They would do things differently here.
*
Banff took her mind off these questions that were looming ever larger in her mind. It was a pretty little town in the National Park, the main visitor centre for people from Calgary, as well as a global tourist centre. The mountains came up close, with their snow caps and their bare, white rock, and the dark forest on their lower slopes.
‘Oh! It’s so beautiful here,’ she breathed.
Don smiled and said nothing, content with her reaction.
They wandered the streets for a little while, enjoying the air and the sunshine, poking into the craft shops and galleries. Anna bought more postcards, these to keep rather than send. It was almost too late to be sending postcards home now. Then it was time for lunch.
‘This little restaurant is my favourite,’ Don told her, as he steered her through the doorway of a log cabin. ‘For special occasions I always come here.’
Was this such a special occasion? she wondered.
They sat in comfortable wooden chairs with floral seat pads, elbows resting on an elbow-worn pine table. Anna gazed out into a street of timber buildings, many with verandahs and hanging baskets of petunias in full bloom.
‘I feel as if we could have been doing this any time in the past hundred years,’ Anna said whimsically. She smoothed the surface of the table with the palm of her hand. ‘And how many people have done this, I wonder?’
‘It’s like a heritage centre, isn’t it?’ Don laughed. ‘Probably you could have been doing this a hundred years ago – if it had existed then!’
‘Oh, no! Don’t tell me it’s modern?’
‘I think it is. Does that spoil it for you?’
She shook her head. ‘It just makes it feel like we’re on a film set. But it’s still wonderful to be here,’ she added, smiling.
And so it was. Such happy days they were spending together.
‘It’s been wonderful having you here, Anna,’ Don said. He gazed at her and smiled. ‘I can’t wait for you to come back – for good.’
There it was again, the expectation, the assumption, that went further than she wanted at present. She tried to dismiss her concern.
‘Oh, Don! It’s been lovely for me, too. A perfect holiday.’
They got on so well together. He was a lovely man, and a wonderful companion. She did like him so much. But coming back, for good?
There was so much to consider. Too much at the moment. Why couldn’t they take it a little easier, and reach that point at a pace that suited them both?
Don seemed to sense her difficulty. She hadn’t said quite what he wanted to hear. But he just smiled and ordered coffee.
‘Give me time, Don,’ she said placing her fingers on his hand.
‘Of course.’
‘A holiday, however wonderful, isn’t the right time to be taking such big decisions. We have to be sensible. One step at a time?’
He nodded.
There, they left it.
*
But Sally Anne didn’t have any reservations or inhibitions about saying what was on her mind. That evening she sat with Anna after Don had dropped her off. Just the two of them. The children were in bed. Tom was out late, playing pool with friends. Anna was happily tired and ready for bed, but she felt a need to talk to her host. In truth, she hadn’t seen a lot of Sally Anne. So she felt an obligation. Besides, she liked her. She had been so wonderfully kind and hospitable, as well as understanding.
‘So have you guys got it all worked out?’ Sally Anne asked over mugs of coffee. ‘Dates, and everything? When it’s to be – and where?’
‘Whatever do you mean, Sally Anne?’
‘The wedding, of course!’
Anna smiled, uncertain for the moment how to respond.
‘You know,’ Sally Anne added, ‘you don’t have to wait for the formal immigration procedures. Once you’re married, you can just come and be here anyway.’
‘I’m not sure we’ve thought that far ahead,’ Anna said uneasily.
‘Oh, you might not have, but Don has!’ Sally Anne laughed. ‘He’s got it all worked out. He never stops telling me.’
So there it was, out in the open. She had begun to worry something like that was the case. ‘There’s a lot to think about,’ she said carefully.
‘And he’s done it – believe me!’ Sally Anne laughed. ‘My little brother was always way ahead of the field. And let me tell you how happy Tom and I are about it. We’re looking forward so much to having you as our sister-in-law. We didn’t like the last one very much at all, but you’re perfect!’
*
It was a long time before Anna found sleep that night. There was such a lot to think about. Too much, really. Don, marriage, emigrating. And now there was something new to add to the mix : Don had been married before, and had not told her.
Sally Anne had not said much about her brother’s previous marriage, but enough to suggest that it had been a hasty, ill-conceived union that had never been made to last. Las Vegas had come into it, Anna gathered, both at the beginning and at the end. Don liked to play the wheels and the dice and the cards, and sometimes it worked for him. Other times, Sally Anne admitted with a sigh, well... The least said, the better.
But with Anna it would be different, Sally Anne added. She knew her brother, and she could read the signs. She knew this time it would be different, and so much better. One failed marriage didn’t stop a person having a happy life subsequently. Didn’t make him, or her, a bad person, did it?
Well, what was wrong with that, Anna thought afterwards – any of it? She liked Don so much. Perhaps even loved him. And what a life he was offering! This was a wonderful city in a wonderful country. She had a lot to be grateful for. It was just… well, just such a breakneck pace he was setting. But she could get used to that, she thought with a wry smile. Why not? Everyone else that had come here had.
So she would go home and sort things out, as she had said she would. Think about what she really wanted, and what would be best. She would be sensible, not carried away in the heat of the moment. Then she would give Don her answer.
Almost certainly she would tell him yes. And then they would go from there. Make the arrangements. Tick the boxes. Prepare for a new life. And try to forget he hadn’t told her about something so important as his previous marriage.
So, finally, she had a plan, and could go to sleep. But she didn’t immediately. Not for a long time, in fact.
Chapter Twenty-One
On a day when Don had to be in the office, and Sally Anne and family were all out, Anna decided to walk to the nearest shopping centre. She needed to buy one or two more gifts to take home. Even more than that, she needed to walk. She was tired of going everywhere by car. She felt as if her legs were beginning to atrophy through disuse. At home she walked every day. Here, scarcely at all, unless she and Don drove somewhere first.
It was hot that day, far hotter than it would almost ever be at home. Dusty, as well. Dust lay across the pavement and the road, and swirls of it billowed into the air every time a vehicle passed. There was grit still from winter, and what she assumed was topsoil from the prairies beyond the city limits. The air was also full of traffic fumes. Cars and buses swept past, leaving behind
their acrid scent. Soon her eyes began to sting. Sweat ran down her neck and back. One or two drivers hooted at her and shook their heads as they sped past. It was because she was walking, she realised. No-one else was walking.
It took her half an hour to reach the shopping centre. Long before then, she regretted her decision to walk. It wasn’t a comfortable experience. Easy to see why no-one else was walking. Even the high school kids all seemed to have cars.
The mall was air conditioned, and blessedly cool. She entered its shaded interior with relief and sought out a coffee shop, where she ordered a glass of juice and a coffee. Both together. No expense spared, she thought wryly. I, too, could be a high roller.
Then she sat for a while and quietly watched people and thought about things. For once, she didn’t feel so good. Her head ached and she felt sweaty. The walk, she decided. It hadn’t been good for her. She should have known better.
No! That was ridiculous. She had walked a lot all her life. What nonsense! It was just a hot day, and uncomfortable.
Yet that explanation didn’t do it for her. She stirred her cappuccino moodily. The truth was she wasn’t altogether happy now she was alone for a day. Without Don, or Sally Anne and her family, she had no shield to guard her in this strange land, and it was a strange land. On her own, she was exposed to just how strange it was. It wasn’t only the heat either. Or the travelling everywhere by car. Not any of that. She wasn’t really sure what it was, but it wasn’t any one, single thing.
The size of the city was a factor. Because everyone lived in detached bungalows with big gardens, this city of over a million people stretched forever. Hundreds of square miles of it! So it was hard to get outside it unless you drove for hours. She wasn’t used to that. She wasn’t at all sure she liked it either.
Then there was the people. Oh, they were lovely! They couldn’t possibly be more pleasant and friendly, or hospitable. They just couldn’t. And they spoke English, of a kind. But the endless optimism was at times wearing. Everything here was for the best – the biggest, the most beautiful, the most perfect. Everything. It didn’t matter what the topic was – climate, holidays, houses, mountains, lifestyle – everything was just so perfect.
The way people spoke and thought was wearing her down. There were times when she longed to point out that there were things they didn’t have here, or things that were not perfect. Like what? Well, she thought with a wry smile, they didn’t have the sea, did they? They were the best part of a thousand miles from the nearest ocean. Also, speaking for herself, she wasn’t at all sure she would like to spend half the year indoors because it was so cold outside either.
Well, she would just have to get used to it. And she would get used to it, she supposed. She would get used to it all. If – when! – she married Don, she would become like everyone else. Endlessly cheerful and happy – and rich!
There was another thing, too. What would she do here? Herself, personally speaking.
Oh, she would live in a big house and learn to drive a big car, she supposed, and have lots of beautiful things around her. But all of them would be paid for by Don. What would she herself contribute? How would she spend her time? Cooking and cleaning the house wouldn’t be enough for her. Nor would looking after Don.
Don said she would get a job easily enough, but what sort of job? She didn’t have professional qualifications. She wasn’t a lawyer or a doctor, like so many of his friends and colleagues – and their wives. She could work in a shop, she supposed, but having seen these big shopping malls, she wasn’t sure how much she would like that. One of hundreds, or thousands? Her days spent in artificial light? It was a world away from what she was used to.
She would adapt, she told herself firmly. She would manage – and be happy. She would. She swallowed her doubts along with the rest of her coffee, and got to her feet.
*
There was another hurdle to be faced. She dealt with it that evening over supper.
Don was in full flow about some legal dispute occupying him at work. He told the tale with gusto. He told it well, making her laugh.
‘So,’ he said eventually, ‘what’s on your mind? Something’s eating you.’
‘You can tell?’
‘I can tell. I’m good at my job,’ he added.
That made her smile, too. ‘Perry Mason?’
‘I could be – in another life. In this one, unfortunately, I don’t get to deal with unsolved murders. It’s all property disputes with people trying to become oil millionaires. Still, it pays the rent. You were saying?’
She took a sip of coffee and decided there was no better time than now to tell him what was on her mind.
‘Why didn’t you tell me you’d been married before, Don?’
His brow furrowed. He gazed at her with surprise. ‘Boy, you sure know how to wrong-foot a guy,’ he murmured.
‘That’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m just puzzled.’
‘Who told you? My sister?’
She nodded.
‘Old big mouth, eh?’
‘That’s not fair. Don’t you think I have a right to know?’
‘There’s a time and a place. It’s not her business.’
A chill swept through her. ‘Sally Anne can’t have known you hadn’t told me, Don. Don’t go blaming her for anything. She and Tom have been very kind to me this past month.’
‘Of course they have. That’s what families are for, isn’t it?’
They seemed to be getting nowhere fast. It was like wading through treacle. ‘You still haven’t answered my question.’
He shrugged and opened his arms with a gesture of surrender. ‘What can I say? It just didn’t seem important or urgent enough. Obviously I would have told you eventually.’
‘Eventually?’
‘Sure. When it needed mentioning. Come on! Your second last evening here. Let’s enjoy ourselves.’
Anna wasn’t quite ready to drop the subject. ‘Tell me about her. Who was she? What went wrong?’
He sighed. ‘She was from Toronto. We met in Vegas, both of us on vacation there. We had a good time. So we tied the knot.’
Anna was stunned. ‘So fast?’
Don shrugged again. ‘It seemed right at the time.’
‘But it wasn’t?’
‘Not really, not as it turned out. I guess we just wanted different things in life. End of story.’
It wasn’t, of course. Not for Anna.
They went dancing soon afterwards. Some salsa club Don knew. Great atmosphere. Good music. Some fine dancers. People Don knew. Anna liked to dance, too, and did her best to enjoy herself. But a cloud had edged across the sun. She knew now there was even more to consider than she had thought. Maybe this, too, was just a holiday romance. How could you tell?
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dad met her at the airport.
‘You shouldn’t have bothered,’ she protested happily. ‘I could have got a taxi.’
‘A taxi – to where we live? It would be cheaper to buy your own car! How are you, anyway?’ He examined her with a critical eye. ‘You look well,’ he concluded with a big smile, giving her a hug and a kiss.
‘I am well! I’ve had a wonderful holiday.’
‘That’s good. Come on, then. Let’s get out of here.’
He grabbed her case and led the way through the noisy, busy throng. She wondered where all these people were going. The airport seemed bigger and more crowded than ever.
‘How’s Mum?’ she asked when they were outside, threading their way through the crowd waiting for taxis, buses and pick-ups.
‘She’s fine. Looking forward to you being back. She would have come with me, but there were things she had to see to. People!’ He shrugged melodramatically. ‘You know what they’re like. Worse than cattle and sheep.’
Anna laughed. ‘She’s being busy, is she?’
‘As usual. Visiting the sick and the lonely, the boring and the infuriating.’
‘What would they all do witho
ut her?’
‘What, indeed.’
The air was different, she realised as soon as they were outside. Not at all the same as in Alberta. It was incredibly moist, for one thing. You could feel the water in it. Cooler, as well. In Calgary it had been sharply cold in the mornings until the sun got to work. Then it had soon become hot. Here it was chilly and damp. She could feel it on her face. It wasn’t an unwelcome feeling. It was… well, familiar. She was home.
‘Are you cold?’ Dad asked, noticing her give a little shiver.
‘A little,’ she admitted. ‘It’s just the contrast. The plane was so warm. What’s the weather been like here?’
‘Normal,’ he said, giving her a strange look. ‘Cold and wet. It is June, remember?’
‘Summer-time.’
‘You’ve been away too long.’ He chuckled and added, ‘Summer is that two warm days we sometimes get in July, in a good year. Remember?’
She laughed. Dad! Nobody had spoken like that in Calgary. There, nobody ever said anything derogatory about the weather, or anything else. Everything there was… well, perfect. Which it was, really, she supposed. At least in some ways.
They reached the car, which Dad had left in the short-stay car park for convenience.
‘Expensive here?’ Anna suggested raising her eyebrows.
‘You know me. Last of the big-time spenders.’
She chuckled at the very idea. Home! she thought happily, as he let her into the car and went to store her case in the boot.
Dad smiled at her when he got in behind the wheel. ‘You seem to have been away a long time, love. We’ve really missed you.’
‘I feel I’ve been away a long time,’ she admitted. ‘And I’ve missed you, too.’
‘Well, it’s good to have you back again, even if only for a short time.’
A short time? She wondered about that as they manoeuvred out of the parking area and headed for the exit. What were they thinking?
*
It wasn’t just the air. The colours were different, too. As they headed north, the landscape looked incredibly, brilliantly green. The grass and the trees, they just sprang out at you. Around Calgary, the land had mostly been dead and dried-out looking from the long, cold winter, only slowly coming back to life. Here, the grass had never stopped growing, through a winter incomparably mild. To Anna’s eye, the landscape was a pleasant surprise. She had, she realised, lost her bearings for a while.
It Was Always You Page 8
