by Scotty Cade
“I’ve never felt so alone,” Brad whispered.
Mac, no longer in control of his actions, leaned in and softly kissed Brad on the lips.
“Brad, you’re not alone. I’m here and will be as long as you need me.”
Brad forcefully pressed his lips against Mac’s, searching for entry. Mac’s mouth opened to the welcomed intrusion, and their tongues danced and explored each other’s mouths.
Already, Mac could feel himself getting extremely aroused. He was nervous and confused, but he didn’t want to stop. Brad broke the kiss just long enough to pull the sweatshirt over Mac’s head, and following Brad’s lead, Mac did the same to him.
Again Mac’s lips were desperately searching for Brad’s. He was so hungry for Brad’s taste, it terrified him. Their lips crashed on one another’s, and without breaking the kiss, Brad quickly rolled Mac onto his back. Brad lay on top of Mac as their erections grew and he ground his rock-hard dick into Mac’s groin. Brad again broke the kiss and slid down under the covers to attend to Mac’s growing erection. He pulled Mac’s pajama pants off and threw them out of the bed. Mac moaned in ecstasy when Brad nibbled at his engorged dick through the thin cotton of his boxer shorts. Mac ran his fingers through Brad’s hair and caressed his neck while Brad explored his body. Mac had no idea it could be like this. He felt so comfortable with Brad. It all seemed so natural and so easy, and he felt both scared and exhilarated at the same time.
Brad worked Mac’s boxers down over his hips and slid them off completely. Mac almost came when Brad’s tongue licked the crown of his dick. Mac stretched his legs out and squeezed Brad’s shoulders hard when Brad took him in completely. Brad slid his mouth back up Mac’s long shaft and back down again. Mac had had blow jobs before from women, but not like this. This was incredible. As Brad went down for the third time, Mac saw stars and exploded in Brad’s mouth. He felt his orgasm rip through his body like never before. A loud noise made him open his eyes. He sat upright in bed. He was alone. Without thinking, he instinctively called Brad’s name.
“Sorry, Mac,” Brad said. “It’s okay, I dropped a log as I was putting it on the fire. Sorry I woke you.”
“Oh, no problem,” Mac said shakily, not wanting Brad to hear the panic in his voice.
Horrified, Mac thought, oh my God, I was dreaming. Not only was I dreaming, I had an orgasm about Brad. He was too embarrassed to go down to the bathroom, so he took his pajama bottoms and boxers off, cleaned himself with his boxers as best he could, and put his pajama bottoms back on. When he was sure Brad was back in bed, he climbed down the ladder, slipped into the bathroom, and did a better job of cleaning himself.
Chapter 15
THE next morning, Brad lazily opened his bloodshot eyes. He stretched and looked at his watch—it’s a little after ten. From what he could tell from the streams of light filtering through the window, it looked like a dimly lit morning. The calm before the storm, he thought. He stretched again, took a deep breath, and pulled the covers up over his head. He woke up with the same uneasy feeling he’d had when he finally fell asleep. He rolled himself out of bed, put the coffee on, and went to the bathroom to shower and change. When he came out of the bathroom, Mac was still asleep in the loft. He had his first cup of coffee waiting for Mac to wake up. Brad glanced at the clock. Five after eleven, time to get his ass up, Brad thought. He climbed the ladder to the loft and saw Mac stretch and pull the pillow over his face.
Mac jumped when Brad smacked the pillow and yelled, “Wake up, before you sleep half the day away.”
“What?” Mac mumbled through the pillow. “It’s early, you ass.”
“Yeah, but today is our last day to make sure everything is secured before the storm, and we have a lot to do,” Brad said. “And who are you calling an ass, you dickhead.”
Bitter and angry from not sleeping, not to mention his dream, Mac asked, “What’s so damn important that it has to be done right this second?”
“For starters, we need to get the new VHF radio hooked up, and get the antenna installed and secured on the roof. I don’t want to be stuck out here in a storm with no communication. Next, we need to get the wood box stocked, secure any loose items around the cabin, and make sure this old cabin is buttoned up for a real storm. You won’t be here to protect me from Mother Nature’s wrath,” Brad reminded him.
“Who says you need protecting anyway?” Mac asked.
Brad chuckled. “I’m just teasing, Mac, now get up.”
Mac leaned up on his elbows. “For being such an ass, I think you need to bring me a cup of coffee in bed.”
“Oh really? If I bring you a cup of coffee, will you get up?”
“Maybe.”
“What’s gotten into you this morning?” Brad asked. “You’re as grumpy as an old spinster.”
“Are you always this charming and so full of compliments in the morning?” Mac whined. “First, you call me a dickhead, then an old spinster.”
“You called me an ass first, and besides, I said I was just teasing. Don’t get your panties in a wad,” Brad chuckled.
“Sorry, I didn’t sleep very well last night, and to be honest, I’m a little nervous about leaving you to deal with the storm on your own.”
“I’m not some mealy mouthed Mellie afraid to be caught in a storm all by my lonesome,” Brad said sarcastically.
“Go ahead, make fun, but you’re not used to these winter storms up here, Brad. And what in the hell is a mealy mouthed Mellie?” Mac asked.
“Haven’t you ever seen the movie Gone With the Wind?” Brad asked. “That’s what Scarlett O’Hara called Melanie Hamilton when she got engaged to Ashley Wilkes.”
“You are so gay,” Mac said with a chuckle.
“Look, Mac, seriously, I’ll be fine,” Brad said over his shoulder as he climbed the ladder to get Mac a cup of coffee. He wobbled back up the ladder using one hand and holding a hot cup of coffee in the other. He sat on the side of Mac’s bed and handed him the coffee. “If you can make it back before the worst of it, I know you will. If not, don’t worry about it.”
As soon as the words left Brad’s mouth, he immediately wanted to take them back. He didn’t want Mac taking any chances just to get back to him. “I mean, I don’t want you risking your life on my account. I’ll be fine, really.”
“You know I wouldn’t take any chances,” Mac said. “But if the weather holds out long enough for me to get back, I will.”
“I appreciate it, Mac. But again, there’s no need.”
“We’ll see,” Mac said.
Brad slapped the bed and said, “Now get up, you lazy breeder.”
“Now I’m a lazy breeder?” Mac shouted as he put his coffee on the bedside table and launched himself on top of Brad. Mac pinned him down on the bed, but Brad, being the bigger of the two, quickly flipped Mac over again as they rolled to the floor with a thump. During the roll, Mac landed on top and pinned Brad to the floor.
“Who are you calling a breeder, you pansy?” he shouted. “And besides, I can’t have kids, so technically I’m not a breeder,” Mac added.
“It’s always technicalities with you pilots, isn’t it, Mac?”
“If it gets us out of tight spots, why not?”
“Let’s see if a technicality can get you out of this spot.”
Brad suddenly threw his knees up and rolled to the side, catching Mac off guard. Mac flew off of Brad and hit the floor next to him with a thud. He threw his leg over Mac’s chest, and in a flash he was on top again.
Mac felt like Brad was starting to get the best of him, and he wasn’t happy about it. He wasn’t sure if he was more upset that a gay guy was whipping his ass or that he was causing him to have wet dreams.
“Fine, have it your way. Now get off of me,” Mac said through closed teeth.
Brad slipped off of Mac, got to his feet, and offered Mac a hand to help him up. Mac, getting more annoyed by the second, accepted Brad’s hand and, catching him off guard this time, pulled Brad back dow
n. Unfortunately, Mac hadn’t thought this through, because Brad landed right on top of him. Brad started laughing, which made Mac angrier. Adrenaline kicked in, and he used every bit of force he could gather and rolled Brad over, regaining the top position.
Brad knew Mac was pissed the minute he saw the look on Mac’s face. Brad’s smile disappeared.
While still on top, straddling Brad at the waist, Mac grabbed two handfuls of Brad’s shirt and lifted his back, neck, and head off of the floor. Brad was sure Mac was going to either deck him or slam him back down onto the hardwood floor. He braced himself for the impact, but it didn’t come. Instead, everything went silent as Mac brought Brad’s face within inches of his own and took his mouth in a demanding kiss.
Brad was very surprised when he felt Mac’s tongue press against his lips, seeking entry. He opened to Mac, giving him everything he wanted, as Mac thrust his tongue in, stroking it along the roof of Brad’s mouth. Then Brad nibbled along Mac’s bottom lip, and Mac moaned and went in deeper. Mac suddenly broke the kiss and raised his head a little. He looked down into Brad’s eyes and said, “What are we doing, Brad?”
“I have no idea,” Brad replied.
Mac got off of Brad and stood. He offered Brad a hand and helped him to his feet. Brad was still in shock as he watched Mac pull on his pants and climb down the ladder to the kitchen. Brad followed him and put a hand on his shoulder.
“Mac, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“What are you sorry for, Brad? I initiated the kiss.”
“You kissed me?” Brad asked, surprised.
Mac looked up at Brad and said, “You mean you kissed me?”
“I think we kissed each other,” Brad said.
“It appears that way,” Mac said. “So now what?”
“Mac, what’s going on with you? I’ve sensed that you’ve been struggling with something for a while now. I hope I’m not out of line, but the first day we were at the cabin, when I broke down, I thought you almost kissed me. Then I saw your erection when I was bandaging your hand after the burn. Do you think you might be gay?”
“No. I mean, I don’t know. I’ve never been attracted to another guy before.” Mac covered his face with his hands. “I don’t know what’s happening to me,” he continued. “When you first showed up at the Lake Hood Air Base, I felt so bad for you. I could see how much pain you were in, and all I wanted to do was help. Then we bought this cabin, and we started spending a lot of time together, and damn if I didn’t start experiencing these feelings that I can’t explain.
“At first I told myself that the feelings were just because I’d been where you are and I felt so damn bad for you. But the more time we spent together, the stronger the attraction got, and, Brad, it scares the hell out of me. I’ve never had feelings for another man. I mean, I played around a little in high school, but it was all physical and just fooling around. Not to mention the fact that you lost Jeff only six months ago. You’re not in any position to get involved with anyone, especially a man with identity issues.”
“Mac, you’re right,” Brad replied. “I don’t know what I’m ready for right now, but to be totally honest, last night I realized that I was developing feelings for you as well. I’ve been getting so attached to you over the last few months, and I thought it was normal after what I—we’d—been through, but when you fell asleep last night on the couch, I sat there and watched you sleep for the longest time. The cabin was quiet, and it was me, you, and the fire. I thought about my life without you in it, and suddenly I felt as lonely as the day Jeff died. The feelings came at me really hard. I don’t know what they are, and I don’t know if I’m quite ready to pursue them, but I told myself that even if I wanted to pursue them, you were straight, or at least I thought you were. So I needed to put them out of my head.”
Mac looked up at Brad with teary eyes. “So what do we do now?”
“I don’t know, Mac, but just so we’re clear, I wanted to kiss you as much as you say you wanted to kiss me.”
Mac smiled a little at that admission. He looked out the window and thought about the approaching storm. “I think we better table this for now,” he said. “We both have a lot to think about and a lot to do today. Let’s take the day, get our chores done, and we’ll talk about this later.”
“Good idea,” Brad said.
Chapter 16
THEY spent most of the morning in silence and pretty much stuck to the chores at hand until lunch. They took a break and ate a sandwich, and Mac was the first to speak. “So what do you think the ID for the cabin should be?” he asked, referring to the new VHF radio.
“Wow, I hadn’t thought about that,” Brad said.
“Well, when you first showed this place to me, you called it Tumbling Downs,” Mac said. “How about that?”
“How would that sound over a radio?” Brad asked.
“Let’s see,” Mac said. “‘November 4649 Delta calling Tumbling Downs’.”
“What do you think?” Brad asked. “Not so good, huh?”
“Not so much,” Mac said.
“Any other suggestions?” Brad asked.
“Let me noodle on it a second.” A thought popped into his mind. “Okay, how about this? Since I’m a pilot and you’re an excellent wingman, and we live in this mansion, how about Wing Mansion?” Mac asked.
“Look at you,” Brad said. “I like it. Wing Mansion it is.”
Things seemed to lighten up just a little, and they went back to work. By five thirty, they were about done. Everything was secured, the wood box was filled to capacity, the new radio was set up, the shutters were closed and secured, and the large solar panels and new VHF antenna on the roof were reinforced and protected.
In the afternoon hours, not ready to be finished, Mac was stacking another cord of wood on the back porch, in case the storm went longer than expected and Brad got really snowed in. Brad was now happy for the solitude, but knew Mac was trying his best to take care of him, and that both scared and comforted him at the same time. He sat on the front porch and looked up at the sky. The clouds were starting to roll in, and the sky had taken on a gray hue that hinted of the coming snowstorm. He looked out over the mountains. All the thoughts that had rolled around his head during the day came flooding to the surface. What am I doing? Jeff died six months ago. How can I be feeling something for someone else, especially a straight man? A straight man who may not be so straight… I’m not ready for this. I need time to think this through. He’s a great guy, and obviously he’s attracted to me, which is strange in itself, but what do I do? I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I need more time. I hope he’ll understand.
Brad was startled out of his thoughts when Mac sat next to him on the porch.
“I think you’re ready for the blow,” Mac said.
“Why McGovern Cleary, how dare you be so blunt,” Brad said in a Southern voice, knowing well and good that Mac was referring to the coming storm.
“Oh, that’s very funny,” Mac shot back.
“I’m just kidding,” Brad said. “I had to say something to break the tension around here. It’s so thick, I could have cut it with the chain saw.”
“I know and I’m sorry; I just had to work this out in my head.”
“Yeah, me too, but I hope you had better luck than I did.”
“Not so much,” Mac responded.
Brad frowned. “What say we get showered, have some wine, watch the sun go down, and talk this through? Real open and honest talk, no beating around the bush, just put all our cards on the table?”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Mac said.
“Okay, I’ll go shower while you open the wine,” said Brad.
“Deal.”
When Brad was showered and changed, he came out of the bathroom. Mac was in the kitchen preparing a plate of cheese, fresh fruit, and crackers. Brad stood next to him and poured each of them a glass of wine from the opened bottle.
Mac noticed how clean and woodsy Br
ad smelled, and he savored the fresh scent.
While Mac showered, Brad retrieved two rocking chairs from the storage shed and put them in their normal spot on the porch. He figured he would just bring them into the cabin when they went to bed, and they could stay there until the storm passed.
Ten minutes later, Mac was opening the screen door with his wet hair slicked back and a shy smile on his face.
He sat next to Brad and picked up his glass of wine.
“So, what’s new?”
They both laughed and seemed to relax a little.
They said each other’s name at the same time and laughed again.
“Okay, you go first,” Brad said.
Looking ahead at the horizon over the mountain tops, Mac opened his mouth to speak, and then he closed it. He looked at Brad, and then looked back at the horizon again.
Brad smiled, “You want me to go first?” he asked.
“Nope, I can do this. I’m a big boy. But please let me get through this before you say anything.”
Brad nodded in agreement.
“Okay,” Mac said as he turned and looked directly into Brad’s beautiful green eyes. “I don’t know what this is. I’ve never been attracted to a man before, and I don’t know how to deal with it. It scares the shit out of me. As I mentioned earlier, at first I thought the attraction was just because we shared a bond over losing our partners. I mean, I really felt for you. I knew exactly what you were going through, and I wanted so much to help you. Then the feelings kept getting stronger, and the more I tried to push them back, the stronger they became. I’m not gay, Brad,” Mac continued.
Brad looked sadly into Mac’s eyes and listened intently. He could see Mac was really struggling.
“At least I didn’t think I was gay. Lindsey was the love of my life, and from the day I married her, I’ve never even looked at another woman, not to mention a man, for God’s sake, so why now?
“I’ve felt more alive in the last four months than I have in the last five years. I didn’t realize how lonely I was until I started spending time with you. You and this cabin have given me something to live for. Since Lindsey died, I’ve gone through life on autopilot, so to speak—I raised Zoe-Grace, and I thought I was doing okay, but I wasn’t really living. I was just going through the motions. But, Brad, I’m not gay.
