“Don´t be afraid of me, please,” Jen mumbled but Cora was beyond reason. She was tired of being made a fool; of being the last person anyone considered. These people had no right to judge her. What she did -Alan´s blood on her hands- was something that would haunt her forever, along with the lives she couldn´t save. Whatever gratitude Jen and the others had to offer her, it would be misplaced. Whatever blame they had to put on her, it was nothing compared to the hatred she felt towards herself. She would never be good enough, no matter how brave or strong she tried to be. And these people standing in front of her, people she only ever showed kindness and patience to, proved it in a way not even her father could. She was done.
“I want to leave,” Cora said looking from Jen to Moira with baleful eyes. “Can I leave?” One good thing had come out of her mind being violated; she remembered who she used to be.
“You are free to go wherever you want.” Steven was the first one to find his voice after her declaration. Try as he might, he couldn´t filter her pain and betrayal and stop the negative feelings from slamming into him and his pack. His own mental walls were crushed after the day´s revelations.
“But we would really like it if you´d stay,” Jason supplied. Danny was right; she was one of their own now. The least any of them could do was get to know her, offer any sort of home they could.
Cora let out a short, brittle laugh. Just as she was about to say something in response though, she felt lightheaded. She stretched her arms in an attempt to support her weight on the wall behind her only to discover they were shaking. She felt something warm coming out of her ears and nose and the sight of blood sounded warning bells in Mark´s and Lynn´s minds.
“You need to stay still,” the redhead said but before she managed to reach her, Cora hit the ground, only Steven´s quick reflexes softening the fall.
“What´s wrong with her?” Jason sank to his knees next to them.
“Jen fried her brain,” Lynn snapped.
“She was just forced to relive the worst moments of her life,” Mark explained, calmer, “by an Alpha´s claws digging through her skull. Emotional rollercoaster aside, my best guess is that Jen didn´t sever the connection properly.”
“Get her up! Quickly!” Lynn said to her Alpha and watched him picking the girl up like she weighted nothing and heading back towards the lair. “Is it just me,” she murmured to herself, “that feels like all we ever do is hurting that girl?” She felt Joe´s comforting hand on her shoulder as they all started following Steven.
A week later, the two healers were at the end of their rope. The bleeding had stopped but, no matter what they tried, Cora wasn´t waking up. Mark went as far as to suggest Jen make another attempt to join her mind but the Queen refused with a vehemence so familiar that everybody knew not to try and persuade her otherwise. The truth was she didn´t have the strength to face Alan´s last moments again, even when she was at fault for what was happening to Cora.
Steven was the only Werewolf left with the power to draw thoughts out of a person´s subconscious, but he at least had the good sense to take a step back and think. He knew he was Cora´s last chance of getting through this, but he had tasted in the back of his throat the girl´s dejection after Jen´s thoughtless action. He was certain that a second intrusion would not be forgiven. If he did this, he would lose her forever. A tough choice to make considering he hadn´t even decided if he wanted her in the first place. Fortunately for him, Moira took the choice out of his hands by calling for help a man far more knowledgeable than any of them.
“I never caught your name,” Steven said, escorting the visitor to the council room and making sure no one accosted him on the way. Everyone had been avoiding the Alpha like the plague though, hoping he would forget the hateful words and actions towards his mate. Steven didn´t care about any of that; he was more concerned about his own wrongdoings.
“Peter,” the old man said. “And the young boy you saved was Sam.”
“Thank you for coming. I know you risk a lot being here.”
“Your mother explained what happened. Even if I didn´t owe you my grandson´s life, I would still have come.”
Steven frowned but refrained from asking. Sooner or later the man would explain himself and it would be better for everyone if Jen wasn´t left out of the conversation. When they reached the council room though, his sister was nowhere to be found. Moira had taken her place on the middle throne, her husband on her right and Joe on her left. Steven sent a questioning look towards his mother but she addressed the whole room openly.
“Jen is indisposed for the time being. I will be acting as Queen until she´s back on her feet.” Everyone who knew what had happened a few days earlier translated that as Jen finally mourning her mate. Steven, taking Moira´s words in stride, kneeled in front of his mother acknowledging her temporary status.
“Our guest is here,” he said, gesturing towards Peter.
Moira stood up and hugged the newcomer warmly, surprising not only her son but also her husband who arched his eyebrows but let the moment pass without a comment. There were things the former Queen and Alpha hadn´t shared with anyone, trust a hard thing to find in the middle of a war. “It´s been a long time my friend. Thank you for coming so soon.”
“I would never say no to you. Now take me to her.”
Cora´s room was unexpectedly crowded. Mark and Lynn were sitting on the bed, staring at the girl´s unconscious body with concern. Jason was looking forlornly out of the window, arms crossed over his chest and his nervous energy filling the room. Danny and Erin had fallen asleep in front of the fireplace curled around each other while Ian was once again watching over his friends, his gaze alternating between them and the girl on the bed. Moira made the necessary introductions and Peter immediately turned his attention to the two healers, asking questions and offering suggestions. Steven left them to it, letting their voices trail after him. He still hadn´t stepped foot into that room since the day of the pyre despite his Betas´ opinion that Cora belonged in his pack. He wasn´t ready to believe such a connection -to a witch nonetheless- even if said witch was in a league of her own.
It was dark when Peter found the young Alpha perched precariously on the edge of a cliff, staring down towards the town.
“She´s awake now, if not a little groggy. You should go see her. Hiding out here won´t do you any good.”
“I´m not hiding,” Steven muttered grudgingly and the man laughed with delight, only to sober up upon noticing that Steven didn´t share his amusement.
“What´s on your mind?”
The Alpha hesitated for a moment before quietly admitting what was really bothering him. “I don´t feel like I belong to her,” he stated with certainty.
“No,” Peter shook his head. “But she already belongs to you.”
“Why are you really here?”
“Her mother was one of us. Our blood runs in her veins. Unfortunately, she thought her love could cure Larson´s blood thirst.”
Steven sniffed and wiped his twitchy nose on his sleeve. “Who knows? She never had a chance to figure it out.”
“No, she didn´t. But I´m afraid you fail to grasp what I just told you means for you,” the older man admonished.
“I didn´t. I´m just trying to wrap my head around it.”
“Tell me.”
“She is one of you and she´s also my mate. She´s my connection to the Anders land and my Alpha powers.” Steven´s voice had a bitter end to it, bothered by the fact that he might owe all he was to Cora.
“Yes and no.” Peter hurried to correct him. “Even if you weren´t an Alpha, the fact that she belongs to you would still give you more power than your sister, or your mother, ever had.”
“Why me?”
“It´s not my place to say,” the man shrugged. “Perhaps you were destined to rule the Werewolves.”
“I can´t accept that. If that´s true, then Alan was destined to die. It means that my sister was destined to lose him.”
“Who´s to say she wasn´t? We can´t know what fate has woven for any of us.”
“Fate? Really?” Steven snorted.
“Ah, let me guess. You believe in making your own destiny,” Peter smiled. “You can´t do anything by sitting on your hands my dear boy. Go see her. Figure it out.”
“Is she making me fall in love with her?” The Alpha asked, rising on his feet and peering down his nose at the older man.
“The Magics´ bond doesn´t work like that,” Peter shook his head. “It is more like a defence mechanism, if you like. She simply made you curious enough to get to know her before immediately dismissing her because of who she was.”
“It certainly worked,” Steven murmured.
“I doubt she even knew what was happening. You saw her memories. She knows nothing about how her magic works. Loving her, if that´s what you actually feel, is all on you.”
“So basically, I played with her feelings, I let her get tortured, even worse, let her burn and now I have to go see her and do what?”
“You don´t have to do anything apart from deciding whether you two deserve a chance or not. Start by apologising. I always find it a good first step at rectifying a wrong.”
“What about my part of the bond?” The Alpha asked. “Do you know how to break Larson´s spell?”
“I don´t... I´m sorry...”
Steven nodded in defeat and turned to leave, a dark cloud in his mind not letting him gather his thoughts.
When he entered Cora´s room, one look at Jason was enough for the Beta to take the hint and usher his friends out. The girl was lying in bed with the covers tucked tightly around her. Once she heard the soft click of the door she raised her head up off the pillow and peered at her new visitor. She was determined not to be the one to break the silence though. If Steven had something to say to her, he should find it in him to take the first step. She was empty. She was done making life easier for people who never gave anything back.
“I don´t really know what to say to you right now,” the Alpha at last admitted, his voice uncertain. Cora snorted, expecting something more heartfelt but, once again, she was disappointed.
“How about a promise? Promise me you´ll never let anyone touch me again,” she rasped, her voice barely rising above a whisper.
“That´s not a promise I can make. Not if you want me to keep it.”
Cora tried to sit up and take a better look at him. Honesty was something she could at least appreciate. Steven didn´t miss the small flinch and instantly remembered the smell of burning flesh.
“How are your legs?” He asked.
“You saw them healing,” Cora shrugged, amused at his attempts for small talk. She patted the bed next to her and Steven sat down, careful not to touch her. His senses were all over the place. Last thing he needed was losing it in front of her when she was already scared of him and his family.
“I´m not scared of you,” Cora frowned.
“You can read minds now?” Steven raised his eyebrow in question.
“Nothing like that,” she shook her head. “It´s just... Ever since these came out,” she lifted her wrists up and the man saw they were covered in bandages, “I can feel what people feel, I guess.”
“Everyone?”
“No. Just your pack.” Cora reached out and touched his bare forearm sending a spark of electricity through every spot their skin touched.
“I don´t know which is more damning,” he looked askance at her. “Your father´s admission or your sudden ability to tap into our emotions?”
“That´s what I´m ever going to be to you, isn´t it?” She said and withdrew from him, folding her hands on her lap. “A curse.”
Steven´s whole demeanour changed at the anger in her voice. She felt his fingers gently tilt her chin up and blinked at him, her eyes welling up in frustration. He leaned forward and their lips slanted together, gliding softly over each other as Steven tasted the salty tears over her cupid´s bow.
“What will you do now? Stay or go?” He asked, guilt etching over the exhaustion on his face.
Cora looked at him for a moment trying to find any indication of what the answer he wanted to hear was. His face though had turned into stone under the scrutiny, closed off under the danger of giving away something she could interpret as encouragement. She laughed, her cheeks filling his palms with her sour delight. “We are the same, you and I,” she said and Steven smiled.
“Stubborn?” He asked.
“And afraid,” she added making him frown.
“What you ask of me,” the Alpha said and let his hands drop, “I can´t give it to you.”
She immediately missed the heat of his touch but didn´t ask for it to return. “I can´t recall asking you for anything. Maybe it´s you who needs me to.”
“Maybe...” he said, lowering his gaze to the floor in introspection.
“There is no one in here you have to take care of,” Cora said resolutely and with a good dose of pity.
“But there is someone in here that needs me to love them,” Steven retorted, daring her to deny it.
She made a wide gesture encompassing the whole room. “Do you see anyone worth it?”
His brow furrowed in disbelief. “Just because I´m incapable of feeling it, it doesn´t mean there is something wrong with you. Don´t sell yourself short.” Steven really meant this, despite his constant attempts to rile her. She was a good person. She didn´t deserve to be trapped with him.
Cora saw right through him. “It doesn´t mean that you can´t love just because you won´t love me.”
Surprise and regret fought for dominance on Steven´s face after hearing Cora´s words. She was right, he had loved before and he had been certain then that feeling would never be matched by anything he might ever feel for anyone else. He had lost once and it had nearly cost him his pack. And even though he liked to think that he was stronger -that he was never going to fall again- deep down he knew he had failed. But unfinished business always leaves open wounds that make someone unable to move on.
“Who was she?” Cora kept on, taking his silence as confirmation. “The woman who broke your heart?”
“It doesn´t matter anymore.” Steven didn´t deny anything. “She´s long gone.”
“Not in here.” Cora brushed a finger over his heart, looking at him with sorrowful eyes.
“You are wrong.” His jaw twitched, not liking someone else paying attention to what he thought as his shortcomings. Cora felt his anger like a pinprick behind her eyelids and drew her hand away.
“So what now?” She asked.
“You are free to go wherever you want. Or you can stay here. It´s your choice. No one will dare touch you again.”
“And your sister?”
“She owes you a lot, we all do.” He couldn´t stop himself from tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear and immediately dropping his hand afterwards. “So like I said, you are free to do whatever you want.”
“What do you want?” The chances of getting an actual answer out of him were once again pretty slim.
“You are welcomed to stay. That´s all I have to offer.” Steven stood up and made for the door but her voice stopped him from leaving without one parting stab on the back.
“I´m sorry she´s gone. And I´m sorry you feel stuck with me instead.” Cora whispered the last part and the Alpha walked wordlessly out of the room.
15. A LONG-OVERDUE CONVERSATION
The first refugees arrived a week later. After Cora´s choice to side with the Werewolves, Larson knew there was no point in hiding anymore and started attacking the outer wolf villages making his intentions clear: destroy the person he thought responsible for his wife´s death; his own daughter. For twenty years his only care was revenge, the war between the two species be damned unless it could give him the opportunity he was longing for. And it finally had, his carefully thought-out plans with Angus falling into place. But Cora had taken her fate in her own hands with the decision to save Jen, putting a t
emporary stop to her father´s plans and inadvertently forcing his sick mind into an all-out attack.
Steven and Jason were standing on the wall surrounding the town overseeing the people´s reception. Erin, Ian and Danny were mingling with the crowd, making sure everyone was settled, handing out blankets and food rations to the uprooted. Joe and his brother-in-law had been travelling to the outskirts for days, ensuring everyone a safe passage and gathering whatever information they could about the invasion. No one wanted to risk a counterattack before knowing the full damage and the size and nature of Larson´s army.
“Jen needs to be out here,” said Jason, noticing the unrest among the people at the absence of their leader. The Prince agreed and, albeit reluctantly, he left to see if he could assist Moira in coaxing his sister out of her self-imposed isolation.
“Are you done with the pity party?” Steven snapped when inside the Queen´s room which she hadn´t left since Cora´s failed execution. Drowning in her own sorrows, she couldn´t face the girl or her people who she felt she had let down irrevocably. But most of all, she couldn´t face her brother, nearly costing him his happiness... Again...
“You have to face the days as they come, my child,” Moira said, stroking her daughter´s hair as she lay in bed, head buried in her pillows.
“I don´t deserve to be an Alpha. Let Steven lead the people,” Jen whined. “They trust him more anyway.” She burrowed deeper under the covers like a five-year old having a tantrum.
“Yeah, let´s throw more wood into the fire,” Steven murmured.
“You don´t understand anything,” his sister spat, making Moira topple over and finally get off the bed to greet her son with a peck on the cheek.
“You owe that girl everything,” Moira said, looking back at Jen. “The fact that you are standing here right now with your sanity intact...”
“You owe it to her to at least acknowledge that,” Steven agreed, turning to his mother and asking her to give them a moment alone. Moira left the room throwing a last glance above her shoulder at her two children, praying that they had the strength to overcome this too.
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