Moira smiled. 'Yes. Freda became quite a well-known and respected celebrity on the islands, didn't she, bless her? But there won't be many of us left who knew her as a girl. It's a good thing you've come now, dear,' she added with another smile, 'while Hamish and I are both still here.'
'I'm very glad I have been able to meet you both,' Emma assured her. 'I'm glad to have learned so much about Orkney, too.'
'Already? Is this your first visit?'
She shook her head. 'I was here a couple of months ago, which was when I met Gregor and Mrs McEwan.'
'Ah! Well, you've come back at the right time now. The islands are at their best at this time of year. Where are you staying?'
'Birsay, in a guesthouse. But I've also been spending some time in Freda's house, which is nearby. Do you know it?'
'Broch House? Oh, yes. I know it well. It will be a bit cold and damp just now, though?'
'Freezing!' Emma said, chuckling. 'But Gregor and I have started to warm the place up a little. We managed to get the heating going yesterday.'
'Good. It will take a while, but I'm sure you will soon have it cosy again.'
'It will be a very long while before it's actually cosy, I think!'
'Emma isn't acclimatised yet,' Gregor said mischievously.
The old lady laughed, very amused, and patted Emma's hand. 'Will you live there now?' she asked. 'Freda would have liked that. I don't know, but perhaps it is what she wanted.'
'I really don't know what I will do with the house,' Emma said hesitantly, 'but I haven't really considered living there.'
'That's a pity.'
*
Over coffee they chatted about everyday things. Emma was impressed by how well Moira seemed to keep up with local news and events. She was a bright lady, and clearly someone who seemed to have had quite a bit to do with Freda over the years. Emma could imagine the two of them getting on well together. No doubt Moira missed her friend greatly.
But enough of this! she eventually decided. They needed to follow up what Hamish had told them.
'Moira, Hamish told us that Freda had a boyfriend, back in the days when she was stationed at Twatt during the War. From all the old photos I've found, I had started to wonder if she had a relationship with one of the Italians at Camp 60. But Hamish said no, that wasn't true. He told us her boyfriend was called Jamie, and that he was from the same island where you both grew up.'
'Yes, it's true. Jamie McCallan, from Stronsay.' A cloud passed across Moira's face, and she sighed. 'A lovely boy.'
'He disappeared, Hamish said,' Emma pressed. 'He didn't return from what sounded like a secret mission in Norway?'
The old lady nodded. 'Poor Jamie. He went there once too often. They all got caught, you know, in the end. You couldn't go and do that sort of thing time after time, and get away with it for ever. They kept him at it too long, the powers that be.'
'He just disappeared?'
'Yes. It broke Freda's heart. She waited and waited for him, but he never came back. He wasn't the only one, of course,' she added with a sad smile. 'Lots of good boys were lost in those days, one way or another. Hundreds and hundreds died right here in Orkney, when ships were sunk.'
It was a sombre thought. Emma waited a few moments before moving on. She took out the framed photograph, a portrait, she had remembered seeing hanging on the wall in Freda's bedroom. It was of a cheerful looking young man dressed in a fisherman's jersey.
'Is this Jamie?' she asked.
'Yes,' Moira said, glancing at the photo. 'That's him.'
Emma nodded with satisfaction.
'Hamish also told us Freda had a baby.'
'Well, he shouldn't have, the gossipy old thing!' Moira said with a chuckle. 'What's it to do with him?'
Emma smiled. 'Actually, Freda having a baby was something my grandmother mentioned one time, but she didn't say anything else about it. I didn't know whether it was true or not, to be honest.
'Gran 's memory is not very good now,' she added apologetically. 'I wondered if she was confused, and had got Freda mixed up with someone else. But Hamish confirmed it yesterday.'
She looked at Moira expectantly.
'Well, it's true, right enough. Freda did have a baby.'
'With Jamie?'
Moira nodded. 'Yes. It was Jamie's child.'
Emma waited, wondering if there was more to come.
'The last time Freda saw Jamie she didn't know she was pregnant,' Moira said with a sigh.
'So Jamie never knew he was a father?'
'He never knew.'
'And Freda was left a single parent?'
'For a time,' Moira said, nodding. 'That was when I came into it. But it's a long story. Are you sure you want to hear it?'
'More than ever,' Emma said firmly. 'I've waited such a long time for someone to tell me about it.'
Chapter Thirty-Two
'It was a lot more complicated then than it is now,' Moira said reflectively. 'For a woman in Freda's position, I mean. Unmarried mothers had a hard time in those days, quite apart from the fact that there was a war on. But I need to get things in the right order for you.
'First, there was Jamie being missing. He didn't come back as expected. Freda kept going to Broch House, but there was never any news.'
'Broch House?'
'That was where Jamie, and the others like him, were based. They knew her there, you see. So she kept going, but there was never any news. In the end, they told her to keep away. They would let her know when they heard something, they said. But they never did, and she never did hear what had happened to him.'
Broch House! Emma was in a bit of a daze, but she felt things were beginning to make sense at last.
'So Jamie didn't return,' Moira continued. 'Freda waited desperately, but there was never any news. Then she found she was pregnant. That was a calamity.
'Much as she might have wanted Jamie's child, pregnancy was a reason for dismissal from military service. And she didn't want to be dismissed. She wanted to wait right here for Jamie. She couldn't bear the thought of returning to England not knowing what had happened to him.'
'She did stay?'
'Yes. I'm not too sure why, or how. I don't think Freda was either. But she was important in some way, probably more because of what she did at Camp 60 than at HMS Tern. There were lots of aircraft fitters by then, but probably not so many Italian speakers.
'So the two commanders did a deal, and kept her on as long as they could. But something else had to be done once the baby was born. There was no way Freda could stay after that – not officially, that is.
'It was hard for her, but what she wanted most of all was to wait for Jamie. So it was arranged that the baby would go.'
'She gave the child up?' Emma asked aghast.
'Reluctantly.'
'To an orphanage?'
Moira shook her head. 'No. To her sister and her husband. They had no children, themselves, and they wanted a child badly. So Freda's sister came to Orkney – at a time when it was very difficult to do that – and I handed the baby over to her.'
'You?'
'It was what Freda wanted. She couldn't bear to do it herself.' Moira shrugged. 'That's how it was. That's what happened.'
'Did the baby have a name?' Emma asked, dreading the answer but needing to know.
Moira nodded. 'Yes. I remember it well. Julia, the child was called. She was a lovely little thing, and I knew that Freda's sister would take good care of her.'
*
Emma felt quite faint now. She was shocked beyond comprehension, able to do nothing but stare at her feet and try to control her galloping heart.
They all sat in silence for a little while. Then Emma rallied and said, 'Thank you, Moira. That's been most helpful. But I'm afraid I must go now.'
The old lady nodded with understanding. 'I'm a little tired myself, but I'm glad I've been able to tell you at last. Perhaps you could come to see me a
gain another time?'
Emma just nodded and got up to leave, letting Gregor deal with the formalities of leaving Moira and the home itself.
*
Outside, in the cool, fresh air, her pulse began to slow. I'll get used to it, she told herself unconvincingly. More resolutely : I must!
Some minutes later, Gregor joined her and they walked together towards the car.
'Interesting?' he said.
'Very. Disturbing, as well,' she said with a sigh.
'Freda giving away the baby?'
'Partly that, yes.'
When they were in the car, and about to move, Gregor said, 'You all right?'
She shrugged.
'Where do you want to go now?' he asked gently.
'Home,' she said. 'Broch House, I mean.'
He nodded, put the car in gear and they set off, moving along the road by the harbour, heading out past the dock where the cruise liners and the ferry to Lerwick, in Shetland, berthed.
'I think I know,' Gregor said eventually, breaking the silence that had enveloped them. 'But you'd better tell me anyway.'
She sighed and said, 'Mum's name is Julia.'
He nodded. 'And Freda's sister is your grandmother.' After a moment, he added, 'No wonder you were shaken.'
'Let's just go back to Broch House, Gregor. I don't want to talk about it anymore at the moment.'
Chapter Thirty-Three
She wondered if Moira was right, if her memory was true. Seventy years was a long time. Could she have got it wrong?
But whichever way she looked at it, the answer came out the same : Moira wasn't wrong. She couldn't be. She knew what had happened, all right.
Besides, Gran had told her about Freda having a baby. Immediately after that, of course, she had shut up. She must have realised too late what she was saying, and where it was likely to lead. All these years she had kept the secret!
What about Mum – Julia? Did she know? Did she know who she really was? Had the pair of them been in a life-long conspiracy to hide the truth?
How awful! So what was she to do now?
Come to terms, somehow, she supposed, with the fact that Freda and Jamie were Mum's parents, and her own grandparents. Somehow she would have to find a way of doing it.
*
'Cup of tea?' Gregor asked quietly, holding out a steaming mug.
She took it gratefully. 'Thanks. Just what I needed.'
'Paracetemol, as well?'
She shook her head. 'I'm not that bad,' she said, giving him a wan smile.
He joined her. They both sat staring at the flames visible through the glass panel in the front of the stove. Sipping their mugs of tea. Being together.
'In some ways,' Gregor said, 'an open fire is better, but the stove throws out the heat very nicely, and it doesn't need so much looking after.'
'I was surprised it was still alight when we came back.'
'Oh, they do, these old stoves. They can keep going for a long time.'
The routine, domesticated conversation broke the tension, and brought Emma back to the moment.
'I'm sorry, Gregor,' she said with a weary sigh. 'I'm not very good company at the moment, am I? It was just such a shock to learn I'm not who I've always believed I was, and that Mum isn't either. I don't know what to do about it.'
'There's no need to do anything at all, when you think about it. This situation has existed for many, many years. Nothing has really changed.'
'Perhaps not,' she admitted reluctantly.
'You know,' she added, 'I can't get over the fact that Freda gave her baby away, even if it was to her own sister.'
'A single woman with a child, waiting for her man to come home – perhaps fearing, knowing even, that he never would? How could she have coped, so far from family and friends? How would she have lived?'
Emma shook her head. 'I don't know. It's beyond me.'
'Leave it till tomorrow,' Gregor suggested. 'We'll go back then, and talk to Moira again.'
'Yes,' she said with a yawn. 'That will be best. At least I'm getting to know now why Freda was so estranged from the family. She must have been a true black sheep so far as they were concerned!'
'Well, maybe that's true. But perhaps she did the best she could in the circumstances?'
Emma nodded, but she wasn't convinced.
*
Moira seemed pleased to see them again.
'I hope you weren't too shocked by what I told you yesterday, dear?'
'It was a bit of a shock,' Emma admitted. 'You see, my mother's name is Julia.'
'I know.'
'And Gran and Grandad had only her. No other children.'
The old lady nodded, as if she knew that too. 'I had to tell you the truth. What harm can it do after all these years?'
'Does my mother know?'
'Not to my knowledge, she doesn't.'
Was that true, though? Emma thought back to Mum's evasions and prevarications. They seemed just as bad as Gran's now, and just as understandable.
'The people who brought her up are her parents, dear,' Moira said, leaning forward and speaking gently. 'There is no other way of looking at it.'
'Perhaps.'
'And there is no question at all about who your parents are, is there?'
Emma shook her head. That was certainly true. What a wise woman Moira was.
She sighed and gave a wan smile. 'What I wanted to ask you, Moira, is what happened with Freda after the baby was given away. What did she do after that?'
'She waited for Jamie. She waited all her life, poor thing, although in the end even she knew he wouldn't be coming.'
'She just stayed, waiting?'
Moira nodded.
'And she bought Broch House?'
'When it came on the market, many years later, she did. That was where she wanted to be, while she was waiting. Nowhere else. And nobody else either. Jamie was her man.'
It sounded desperately sad.
'And what about her baby? Did she think of her at all?'
'She did. All her life. She never forgot Julia. A woman doesn't, you know. I lost one of mine through what these days they call a cot death, but I've never forgotten him, and I've always celebrated his birthday.
'But by the time the war was over, Julia's baby had become a child, and the child was used to the only parents and home she had ever known. Freda knew it would be unforgivably selfish to tear her away. So she left things as they were – and she was the only one to suffer.'
Emma shook her head. 'She must have been a very strong person.'
'Freda? Oh, she was. Make no mistake about that.'
'Why didn't she leave her house to Mum, instead of to me?'
'She did think about it but your parents are well settled, and quite old themselves now. So she thought it best to leave it with you. Have you seen Freda's solicitor, by the way?'
'No, not yet. I thought I should wait until I had decided what to do with the house.'
'And have you decided yet?'
'No, not yet. Why do you ask?'
'Perhaps you should see him soon. Don't wait. I believe he has something for you. A letter, I believe.'
'Really? How do you know all this, Moira?'
'I was Freda's friend,' the old lady said with a gentle smile. 'She told me what she wanted you to know.'
Not much more was said after that. There didn't seem much more to say. Soon afterwards, Emma and Gregor left, having thanked Moira for what she had told them. They had reached the end of one road, but there were others still to travel.
Chapter Thirty-Four
There was a letter. It was addressed to her, and said simply that it had been written with love, and that she – Great-Aunt Freda – hoped it would be received in the same way. Broch House was hers now, to do with it as she wished. The hope was it might help Emma to enjoy an even more rich and rewarding life.
'Even now,' Emma said sadly, 'she admits n
othing, does she? She maintains the fiction about her relationship to me – and it is a fiction.'
'What did you expect?' Gregor said gently. 'She was a woman who even now would not want to disturb the life of you, your mother and your grandmother. It's a fine thing that she kept to the very end the promise she made to herself not to disrupt your lives.
'She did the best she could. Freda was a noble woman, and a good woman. You need to remember that. She led a good life here, too. You can tell that by how well so many people speak of her.'
Emma nodded and smiled at last. 'You're so right, Gregor! At first, I couldn't see it that way, but what you just said is true. Thank you for that.
'She stayed loyal to Jamie, too, didn't she?' she added after a moment.
'All her life. And at great cost.'
She grimaced. That was true, too.
'And what of us, Gregor? What happens to us now?'
'I can tell you what I would like to happen. But then you have a say as well.'
He raised his left hand for her to see. 'Did you notice?'
'That your wedding ring has gone? Yes. I did notice. But I'm not sure what it means, Gregor.'
'Well, learning about Freda's story, which is very sad in some ways, made me re-examine my own story. When I thought about it, I knew I didn't want to continue any longer down the path Freda chose for herself. I accepted at last that I can do no more for Maggie. I need to move on. Keep the memory alive, but not live in the past – if I can.
'And I had come to know you, Emma,' he added with a smile. 'Now I want to travel on in my life, together with you, if that is possible.'
'Oh, Gregor! That's such a beautiful way to put it.' She paused and stared at him wonderingly. 'That's what I want, too,' she added softly.
He smiled and took her in his arms. 'I hoped you would say that,' he admitted. 'I wasn't sure, but ....'
'Ssh!' she said. 'Just kiss me.'
*
Back in the family home, sharing the news about her discoveries on Orkney wasn't so fraught as she had anticipated. In fact, she soon lost the initiative. Mum pre-empted her.
'I expect you've worked it all out by now, have you?' she asked her with a smile.
Orkney Mystery Page 13
