To Face The Past

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To Face The Past Page 12

by Karen Abbott

“It won’t happen that fast! It’ll be ages yet, won’t it?”

  “Don’t count on it! I feel like bearing down!”

  “You can’t, Amanda! Not yet! Don’t do this to me!”

  “Sorry, cariad fach!” She leaned against the doorframe, panting heavily. “There’s a pile of old towels in the cupboard under the sink. I think you’d better get them!”

  Eva threw her a horrified glance and rushed into the kitchen. She scurried back with an armful of towels, her brain casting back to what she’d learned in ante-natal classes three and a half years ago. Thank goodness Amanda had done it before!

  Encouraging Amanda to pace the floor while she could, she phoned the hospital again. An ambulance was on its way, but was held up by an accident blocking the road.

  “Tell them to hurry! The baby’s coming!”

  Eva carefully laid down the phone beside its rest and rushed over to Amanda. “Can you lie down? They want to know what’s happening. Don’t be embarrassed! We’re all girls together!”

  A brief examination revealed that the baby was indeed on its way. “Oh, good heavens! I can see the baby’s head! Hold back, Amanda! Pant! Pant! Pant!”

  She laid a hand on Amanda’s abdomen and could feel it relaxing. “Good girl!” She rushed back to the phone. “I can see the baby’s head! … Yes. About six centimetres. … Pardon? … Yes ... Yes. … No, I’m fine! Yes, really!” And suddenly, she was! She wrote down the special number the controller had given her and replaced the phone on its rest.

  She timed the contractions, panted along with Amanda, wiped her face with a damp cloth and, when the head was fully crowned, phoned back for new instructions. She knew it all, really, she reflected. Anyone who has watched any of the many hospital ‘soaps’ on the television has witnessed many a roadside birth! But, it was a different matter when two lives depended on her doing the right thing.

  She tucked the phone between her chin and shoulder. Yes, the head was fully crowned. Another contraction … and the head rotated into her hand. Yes, her fingers were under the cord. No, it wasn’t going tight. Here came the shoulders … and out slipped the rest of the baby.

  “It’s a girl, Amanda! You’ve got a lovely baby girl!”

  She wrapped the baby in a soft towel and handed her to Amanda to hold.

  “Ah, cariad, she’s beautiful!” Amanda breathed.

  “What are you going to call her?”

  “I don’t know. We thought we’d wait until she was born and see how we felt. What would you call a baby girl?”

  Eva felt her heart wrench with pain. Her throat tightened. She was afraid she going to cry. She swallowed hard. “Gemma,” she finally managed to whisper.

  “Gemma it is, then!”

  “Mummy? What’s happening?”

  They turned to look at the staircase, which led upstairs out of the living room. A sleepy, tousle-haired Thomas stood there, rubbing his eyes.

  Eva held out her hand to him, glad of the diversion. “Come here, Thomas. You were right! Your baby sister has arrived tonight!” She was relieved to find her voice sounded normal.

  “And you didn’t have your black bag!”

  “No, I didn’t. Isn’t she lovely?”

  Thomas looked. “She’s a bit red and wrinkly, isn’t she? Can I go back to bed now?”

  Eva and Amanda laughed. “Yes, off you go! We’ll see you in the morning.”

  The ambulance finally arrived. The crew checked that everything was all right; completed the birth process by cutting the cord and evacuating the placenta; bundled mother and baby into warm blankets; and then wheeled her out to the ambulance.

  “I’ll telephone the hotel!” Eva called. “And don’t worry! I’ll stay here!”

  It was quiet in the house.

  After all the trauma and excitement of the past couple of hours, it now seemed an anticlimax to be calmly waiting until Johnny could make it home. He was going straight to the hospital first.

  Eva supposed she ought to make herself a bed on the sofa but suddenly felt as though all her strength had seeped out of her. It all came back to her. Her pregnancy, the birth … and afterwards …

  Matt got there as soon as he could. He let himself into the house. Johnny had given him the key, expecting Eva to be asleep.

  But she wasn’t.

  She was sitting on the edge of the sofa, tears silently running down her cheeks. She seemed unaware of Matt’s presence.

  “Eva?” Matt touched her arm gently. “What is it?”

  Eva slowly turned to him, her eyes still brimming with tears. Her throat felt too tight to speak … but she knew she had to. She had kept silent for too long, smothering the pain … but never quite extinguishing it. “I had a baby once.”

  “We both did,” Matt reproved her gently. “Gemma was my baby, too.”

  “Yes, I know … but it’s different for the mother. I bore her. I felt all the pain, knowing she would never live!”

  “And you think I didn’t feel the pain?”

  Eva was startled. Matt’s voice was still gentle ... but the anguish in his eyes told its own story. “I didn’t realise. You never said. You didn’t even cry!” she added accusingly.

  Matt took hold of her hand. “Yes, I did. When I took her out of your arms and carried her to the mortuary … I cried. She was so beautiful! She looked just like you … but she would never grow into the beautiful woman her mother is. It seemed like my heart was breaking!”

  “Oh.” The sound was barely audible. Eva felt an instant flash of guilt and regret. “I didn’t know. You never said.”

  Matt stroked the backs of her fingers with his thumb, his head down. “I thought I had to be strong for you … and after that one time, you didn’t cry again. I thought you were reconciled to it. I didn’t want to reopen the wound.”

  “I did only cry that once. It was so painful, that afterwards, I couldn’t bear to let myself go again. I had to fight it, overcome it, so I threw myself back into my work, hoping to fill the terrible void within me with work.”

  “And I thought you were glad to go back to work; that maybe you hadn’t really wanted the baby … and you wouldn’t talk about it. I felt cut out of your life. It was as if you couldn’t bear to be in the same room as me.”

  “I couldn’t … but not for the reason you think! I thought you blamed me that Gemma was still-born. I couldn’t bear the reproach in your eyes every time you looked at me.”

  “I didn’t blame you, Eva! It wasn’t your fault!”

  “But I went shopping! You’d said I shouldn’t … but I still went. If I hadn’t gone…”

  “… you wouldn’t have got caught up in the robbery and been pushed to the ground like that? Eva, it was beyond your control! Lots of women feel the need to be active in the last few weeks of pregnancy! Some feel the urge to clean their house from top to bottom … others go shopping. It’s the ‘preparing for the birth’ syndrome!”

  “But you told me not to go!”

  “I suggested it might be better to stay at home.”

  “And, to assert my independence, I went out!”

  Matt managed to smile. “That’s not a criminal offence, Eva. You didn’t do anything foolhardy. You just went shopping, like a few million other people that day! I didn’t blame you then … and I still don’t! I just felt so helpless because I couldn’t help you and frustrated because you shut me out.”

  Eva was silent, recognising the awful truth of what Matt was saying. It was hard to face, just as she had always known it would be … but face it she must!

  “When you went to America, you didn’t leave me, as I’ve always chosen to think—I drove you away, didn’t I?”

  Matt regarded her seriously. “Yes, I think you did … but I was at fault too. I didn’t understand what you were going through. I gave up too readily. When you wouldn’t receive my phone calls or reply to any of my letters, I realised our marriage was over.”

  Eva gaped at him. “Phone calls? Letters? What are you talking a
bout? You never called! You never wrote! I waited and waited. I even wrote to you, begging you to get in touch!”

  Matt looked at her blankly. “I didn’t receive them.” Suddenly his shoulders sagged and a look of reluctant understanding flowed over his face. “Did you post them yourself?”

  “Yes. … I mean, no. … I don’t know! Does it matter?”

  He took hold of her hand again and paused before speaking. When he did, his voice was gentle. “Is there any possibility that you might have given them to your mother to post?”

  Eva looked at him, startled. “Ye..es, more than probably! I hardly went out anywhere at that time. Mum was being particularly supportive and helpful.”

  “I bet she was!”

  “You never did like her!”

  “She didn’t like me!”

  Eva had to admit the truth of that. She also had to face the fact that Matt was probably right in his accusation. “I’m sorry, Matt. You must be right. I certainly did write … and I believe you when you say you didn’t receive them. I thought you just didn’t care!” She smiled ruefully. “We made a lot of mistakes, didn’t we?”

  “Yes, we did.”

  “And now it’s too late.”

  Matt wasn’t sure if she was stating a fact or asking a question. He almost let it go, accepting her words as a statement of fact, but, just in time he saw the light of hope in Eva’s eyes.

  “Is it?” he asked softly. “It’s not too late for me.”

  Eva’s head jerked up. “Isn’t it? But, I thought …”

  “I’ve never stopped loving you, Eva. My work, everything else, was a narcotic to deaden the pain.”

  “But, last month … after the rescue … you rejected my offer of reconciliation. You said it was too late!”

  “I said ‘the timing was wrong’. I had seen Leanne approaching. I tried to make you read my eyes, not my lips.”

  Hope stirred within Eva’s breast. “And now? Is the timing any better?”

  “Perfect! I love you, Eva. I can’t bear to have to face a future without you.” He gently took her face in his hands and kissed her on the lips, gently at first and then more fervently.

  Eva’s hands slipped around his neck, her fingers delighting in the feel of his silky hair. It had been too long! Far too long!

  They drew apart and looked wonderingly into each other’s eyes, both liking what they saw.

  “What do you say, Eva? Do you still love me?”

  He looked into her eyes as drew the back of his finger along her cheekbone, down her cheek until they were under her chin. He then softly traced the outline of her lips, delighting in the light of expectancy that came in to her eyes. He didn’t need her to speak her answer. It was there in her eyes. He lowered his head towards her, seeing her lips part a little and the tip of her tongue moisten her lower lip.

  “Yuk! You’re not going to start kissing, are you?” piped Thomas’s voice from the stairs. “I’m never going to kiss a girl! You’ll be getting married next!”

  “Good idea, mate!” Matt agreed, almost choking with laughter. He looked back at Eva, his eyes serious again. “What do you say, Eva? Are you willing to give me another chance?”

  Eva nodded. “I am if you are, Matt. I never really stopped loving you. I didn’t know what I was throwing away until it was too late. Can you forgive me?”

  “We’re on level ground, as far as that goes, Eva. The past is forgiven. We’ll build on it for our future.”

  And, ignoring Thomas’s repeated, “Yuk!”, they sealed their decision with a long and lingering kiss.

  THE END

  Before you finish, read on to discover a little about the author and her published novellas and novels.

  About The Author

  As a child, Karen (née Mitchell) lived in Lancashire at the Beehive area in between Horwich and Bolton and attended Chorley New Road infant and junior schools (1947-1953) and Rivington and Blackrod Grammar School (1953-1960)—and enjoys attending the annual Old Rivingtonians’ Reunion weekend each October.

  An important part of Karen’s life is being a Christian. As well as playing an active part in her local church, Karen is a member of Aglow International, a network of caring Christian women from all denominations of the Christian faith.

  After spending 3 years training to be an Infant Teacher at Edge Hill College in Ormskirk, she taught in Liverpool for 3 years, where she met David, her husband-to-be.

  Once married, they moved to Rainford, near St. Helens in merseyside. After raising 3 children, Karen resumed her teaching career, teaching at Cross Pit Lane County Primary in Rainford, Derbyshire Hill County Primary in St. Helens and Billinge Chapel End County Primary in Billinge—until she took early retirement in 1994. With her children now young adults, Karen began to fulfil her lifelong dream of becoming a published author.

  She joined St. Helens Writers’ Circle, eventually becoming editor of their annual Anthology for a number of years. She also joined the New Writers Scheme run by the Romantic Novelists Association and it was after this that her first novella was published in 2000 by D. C. Thomson (My Weekly Pocket Novels). Over thirty more followed: a variety of contemporary and historical novellas, which are set in such diverse places as Horwich and Bolton, Rainford, Wales, Devon, France and Malaysia—places where she has lived or visited on holiday.

  All Karen’s novellas have been published in Large Print by F. A. Thorpe for sale to libraries in U.K. and America. Titles below.

  Up-dates can be found at www.karenabbott.blogspot.com

  Author’s Books

  Titles first published by D.C Thomson in My Weekly Pocket Novels

  Also by F. A. Thorpe in The Linford Romance Series (Large Print)

  Look out for them as e-books

  Contemporary novellas

  (Ile D’Oleron series)

  Summer Island

  A Matter Of Trust

  A Heart Divided - (WW2 - prequel to 2 above)

  A Taste Of Happiness

  Just A Summer Romance

  Her Reluctant Heart

  (Set in Horwich/Bolton)

  Red Rose Girl

  Love Is Blind

  Designs For Love

  The Heart Knows No Bounds

  Outrageous Deception

  (Set in Rainford)

  A Divided Inheritance

  A Change Of Heart

  (Set in Malaysia)

  Afraid To Love

  To Capture A Heart

  Illusions Of Love

  Other contemporary settings

  A Time To Forgive

  Love Conquers All

  When True Love Wins

  To Face The Past

  Danger Comes Calling

  Faith For The Future

  A Love Worth Waiting For

  Historical novellas

  (Suffragette era - set in Horwich)

  Rising To The Call

  An Unsuitable Alliance

  (Regency period)

  The Turning Tide

  A French Masquerade

  Dangerous Intrigue

  Elusive Love

  The Farrington Fortune

  A Bride For Lord Mountjoy

  The New Lord Westlake

  Hold Onto Your Dream

  Titles of full-length novels published by Robert Hale Limited

  A Most Rebellious Debutante (Regency)

  A Father For Daisy (Set in Horwich in 1898 - Late Victorian)

 

 

 


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