Sunset Seduction
Page 17
Answer my question and I’ll feel a whole lot better.
Anything to make you feel better. Just my old T-shirt.
The one that says, Cowgirls Do it With Their Boots On?
Yes.
R u wearing boots now?
Of course not. I’m going to bed. Luke, I’m so, so sorry.
Apology accepted.
So, u r not mad at me?
He wouldn’t lie.
Pissed beyond belief.
There was a long pause.
What can I do? I feel awful about it.
Put your boots on. The tan ones that ride up to your knees.
Why?
R u really asking why?
Another long pause.
Ok, they’re on. Now what?
He missed her like crazy. She loved him and he’d thrown that love back in her face.
Now, I’m gonna imagine u on my bed, curled up next to me, boots and all. Sleep tight, sweetheart.
Luke clicked off his phone.
He lay back against his pillow and shut off the light. Closing his eyes, he imagined Audrey beside him on the bed, beside him on the ranch, beside him as they raised their children together. He imagined Audrey Faith Thomas in his life forever.
Something had always been wrong in his past relationships with women. He’d never let himself get too close. He’d never allowed himself to create a bond. The pieces of the puzzle never quite fit right.
Now he knew what was missing.
Her.
Audrey had been missing in his life.
He loved her.
The emotion knocked him upside the head and spiraled down his body, touching every ounce of his being, absorbing into his bones. He’d always had affection for Audrey, but the intense sense of loss and emptiness without her was keen and sharp. That part surprised him most. What he felt for her was real. It wasn’t anything he wanted to run from. With or without a baby, he wanted a future with Audrey. Up until now, true love had been absent in his life and now he welcomed it with an open heart.
The best healing happened during the wee hours of the night when the body and soul were at rest. Luke knew that for fact now. He slept his best sleep ever, finally at peace with his emotions.
And along with the healing, came great clarity.
* * *
“Jewel, please get off Susanna’s couch,” Audrey said, staring her feline down. Jewel felt entitled and refused to budge off the arm of the outdated flower-print sofa. She lay there with a blank look on her face, but Audrey knew the real reason for Jewel’s disobedience.
“It’s okay, Audrey,” Susanna said. “She won’t do it any harm. It’s hanging on by a thread. I’m almost ashamed to have you sitting on it.”
“Don’t be silly. The couch has at least another good year left in it.”
“Bite your tongue.”
Audrey smiled. “I have fond memories of sitting around this room with your family, Suse. The couch is part of that.” Whenever there was an important event at school, or a test Audrey couldn’t miss, the Harts would invite her to stay overnight. Sometimes she’d stayed for an entire weekend while Casey was gone. “Jewel’s separation anxiety came back when we returned home. She won’t leave my side now. I think she’s punishing me for taking her away from Sunset Ranch. She loved it there.”
“I think you did, too,” Susanna said.
“I did, Suse, but I couldn’t stay. Now with the baby coming and all, I’m going to have to make some tough decisions. I have to postpone veterinarian school for another year. Dr. Arroyo offered me a full-time job in the vet clinic. It means long hours, but doing something I love to do.”
“And your hunky Luke’s okay with the whole situation?”
Audrey wished he was her hunky Luke. Unshielded guilt consumed her. She’d been nothing but trouble for Lucas Slade. Still, she looked forward to the nightly text messages she’d been getting from him lately. They made her whole day worthwhile. She found herself anxiously awaiting the evening hours to hear from him. But it was Luke being Luke. Checking up on her. Making sure the baby was okay. She was certain any day now he’d bring up the subject of custody. How would they work out the details?
“It’s early yet. I’m only nine weeks along. I think we’re just getting used to the idea of becoming parents so we haven’t discussed it yet. But…but I’m sure we will. Luke wants to be a big part of the baby’s life.”
Just not a part of hers.
He offered to marry you and you turned him down.
“I hope you have a good time at Casey’s tomorrow,” Susanna said. “I’m glad you decided to visit him. Maybe being at the lake will help clear your mind.”
She hoped a trip to the cabin would help her get a handle on her chaotic emotions. There were too many variables in her life now—joy about the baby but heartache over Luke. She had indecision about the job offer and worried about what her future would hold. All of it made her queasy with anxiety.
“I hope so, too. So long as Casey doesn’t dwell on my pitiful life, I think I’ll be fine. My brother is convinced he knows what’s best for me.”
Susanna smiled. “Casey misses you. I think you’ll have a good time together.”
“You’re right. Gosh, I’m sorry I’m such a downer lately.”
“Hey, you’ve been there for me, too. That’s what friends are for.”
They said good-night with an embrace and Audrey went home to pack a few things.
In the morning, she made the drive to the north shore of Lake Tahoe with Jewel beside her in the travel carrier. Fall was beginning to show signs in the crispness of the air and the fresh scent of pine. Early sunlight cast the lake in shades of indigo that gleamed off the water and brightened her entire outlook.
Casey came out to greet her and they hugged tight. He was full of questions about the baby, and as they headed inside the cabin, she laughed at some of the silly notions he had in his head about pregnancy. Not that she was an expert, but she was pretty sure that no, the shape of the woman’s belly did not determine the baby’s sex. And yes, it was true that she would probably develop a dark hormone line that would run from the top of her torso to below her navel that would divide her body almost in half. No, she wouldn’t need to drink the two half gallons of milk in his refrigerator to build up her milk supply. “Goodness, Casey. I’m only staying two days. You’ve got enough milk in here for an entire kindergarten class.”
“Well, just making sure you have what you need.”
She kissed his cheek and they spent the entire afternoon being lazy on the deck, stretched out on cushioned chaise longes and watching a few local sunbathers trying to catch the last rays of warmth for the season.
“Pretty soon, snow will top the mountains,” she said.
“Not soon enough for the skiers,” Casey said. “They can’t wait for the cold weather to hit.” He tilted his head and gave her a tentative look. “I’ve got reservations at Emeralds for tonight. We never had a chance to celebrate you having a baby. You up for it?”
Audrey reached over to touch his hand. “That’s sweet, Casey. Yes, I’m up for it.”
“No pets allowed. Think Jewel here will let you go?”
Jewel’s head perked up from her prone position on the patio deck at the mention of her name.
“Knowing Jewel, after she eats she’ll probably pass out in front of the fireplace. She won’t know I’m gone.”
Casey gave her a nod of approval. “Smart cat.”
Audrey chuckled. “Thanks, Casey for…well, for not being so, so…”
“I’m trying, honey. You’ll always be my little sis, and I’ll always watch out for you, but I get that you’re all grown-up now. You don’t need me anymore.”
“I need you, Casey. Just not your interference in my life. I’m ready to make my own decisions,” she said softly.
He swallowed and stared out at the lake.
That evening they had dinner at an exclusive restaurant with a spectacular view of Emera
ld Bay. The crescent-shaped alcove cradled shallow, pale emerald-green waters. Fanette Island reached out of the center of the bay with a Hershey Kiss–topped peak. The food was delicious and Audrey’s mood lightened being with her brother.
By the time they returned to the cabin, Audrey was beat. “I’m going to bed,” she said to Casey. “Thanks for a wonderful dinner. I’ll see you in the morning.” She reached up on tiptoes and gave Casey a peck on the cheek.
“Good night, Sis.”
Audrey showered and dressed in an old T-shirt. Some people had comfort food, but Audrey had comfort wear. She was cozy in worn-out, old bed clothes that felt soft against her skin. The baby seemed to love it, too. She snuggled into the bed and when the ringtone barked, she picked up her phone and read the text. It was Luke.
How r u?
Fair. How r u?
Fair. But now that I’m talking to you, I’m better.
Audrey squeezed her eyes closed. A viselike grip tightened on her heart. More and more now, Luke would say something sweet like this, or make an innuendo that begged an invitation from her. She didn’t have the courage to act upon it. She couldn’t face another rejection. And then, there was the guilt she harbored that reminded her daily of the injuries she’d caused him.
I’m glad you’re feeling better.
R u in bed?
Yes.
In a T-shirt?
Yes.
Well?
It says Cowgirls Party in the Paddock.
Luke didn’t waste a second to answer.
Sounds like a party I’d want to attend.
Mercy. Audrey nibbled on her lower lip.
I’m not a party girl.
Could’ve fooled me a few months ago.
Are you still pissed?
That you seduced me then ran away? That you lied to me? That you disobeyed my orders with Trib?
Her hopes faded.
I guess I have my answer.
I’m mellowing.
Doesn’t sound like it.
Do you still love me?
Audrey couldn’t believe he was asking her that. A person didn’t fall out of love that easily. It just showed how little Luke knew about love. And about her. She’d loved him for ten years. She couldn’t just forget about that because things didn’t work out. Life was messy and she’d certainly stepped in it this time. If anything, her love for him had grown stronger after he’d saved her and the baby.
It doesn’t matter.
You don’t love me.
I take that as a yes. There’s going to be a knock at your door any second.
What? Panicked, she glanced at the bedroom door before she remembered she was at the cabin. She typed,
I’m not home.
I know.
Then the door opened and Luke strode in, cell phone in hand.
She jumped and hit her head against the backboard of the bed. “Luke!”
He tucked the phone into his pocket. “I gave you warning.”
“You…you didn’t knock.”
“Didn’t I?” He grinned and moved farther into the room. “Seems to me you didn’t knock a few months back when you crept in here and destroyed my sleep.”
“Wh-what are you doing here?”
This whole thing reeked of Casey not interfering. Her brother must’ve set this up.
But oh, how she’d missed Luke. His devastating smile and the light in his eyes were enough to floor any female, much less one who was already crazy about him. She tossed the covers off and was about to get out of bed when Luke’s piercing gaze froze her in place. He sat down next to her. The scent of leather and musk put her mind in a tizzy.
Jewel woke from solid sleep, got up and rubbed at the back of his legs. He bent to scratch her behind the ears and she purred so loudly, it echoed off the walls. Traitorous cat. “Did Casey put you up to this? I’m going to—”
“I did some fast talking with Case to get him to allow me to come here. This was all my idea.” He glanced around the room and then his reverent gaze touched on her. “This room is where our baby was conceived.”
“I…I know.”
Her mind was muddled. It was late. She was tired. She couldn’t think straight with him sitting on her bed, so near. If he wanted to talk custody in legal terms, she couldn’t do it. “I can’t think right now, Luke. Can we talk another time? Maybe, if you came back in the morning.”
He gave his head a shake. “You’re a flight risk, Audrey. I’m not giving you a chance to take off again. Seems that’s what you do to me. Leave.”
“That’s only because—”
“I love you, Audrey.”
“Wh-what?”
“I said, I love you. I need you in my life. I’m not leaving here until I convince you of that.”
The words were foreign to her ears. Luke didn’t love her. How could he? She’d done horrible things to him. She’d nearly caused his death, for heaven’s sake. “You love the baby.”
“True. I love the baby. It’s a part of you, sweetheart. That baby is the best part of both of us. If I didn’t love you, why on earth would I forgive you for everything you’ve done? Why would I call out your name when I was unconscious? Yes, I did that, they tell me. And as soon as I woke up, your name was the first on my lips. I called for you, Audrey. And you weren’t there. It was an awful feeling. It hurt more than my injuries.”
“Oh, Luke. I’m so sorry about that. I hated to leave you, but I thought I’d be the last person you’d want to see when you woke up.”
“You left Sunset Ranch without saying goodbye.”
Her guilt was as sharp as the tip of a knife.
Luke reached for her hands. He applied gentle pressure that shot straight to her heart and made her hope for the first time in a long time. Then he looked her square in the eyes. “I’ve never lied to you, Audrey. I think you know that about me. I asked you to marry me, but I didn’t tell you I loved you. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now.”
Audrey’s hope register shot up. “Wh-why do you know it now?”
Luke looked past her, as if trying to find a way to explain it. “I thought I wasn’t capable of love or allowing myself to get close to anyone for anything other than friendship. It has to do with my roots and my love of a horse that was taken away when I was very young. It didn’t help to see the kind of marriage my folks had. I guess I put up barriers and wouldn’t let anyone breach them. Until Trib came along.”
“Trib? I don’t understand.”
“For some reason that horse got under my skin. Even after all the trials and tribulations and the trouble he caused, I can’t seem to part with him. I see his spirit and know he’ll be mine one day. I don’t ever intend on letting him go. Now don’t take this the wrong way, but that’s exactly how I feel about you. You and Trib have a lot in common.”
Audrey’s brows knitted together as she tried to make sense of it.
Luke continued, “I never let myself get close to any of the animals on the ranch after that one devastating incident when I was a boy. It scarred me for life. So I steered clear and when I felt like I was feeling more than I should, I would back off and detach myself for fear of being hurt. Just recently, I realized I did that very same thing with women. Until you came back into my life. That’s how I know I love you. After all the deception and lies you told, Audrey, I couldn’t dismiss you. I wouldn’t even consider firing you.”
“You did fire me.”
“That was bogus. I was desperate to get you away from Trib. I was falling in love with you and didn’t realize it.”
Audrey’s heart was ready to burst. Still, she droned, “Because I reminded you of a horse?”
His eyes grew serious, as if this next question meant a great deal. “But you get it, right?”
His honest plea had her convinced. She nodded. “I think so.”
He continued, “I told myself I had a physical attraction to you and I’d get over it. But I didn’t get over it. I couldn’t write you off like I had al
l the others. Because as much trouble as you’ve caused me, I didn’t give up on you. I didn’t back off. Then when I learned you were pregnant, I wanted to marry you because it was the right thing to do. And you were right to refuse me. I see that now. When I lay hurt in that hospital bed, I began to see my future without you. And it was a killer. I never want to feel that way again. I don’t want to live my life without you, Audrey. To me, you’re perfect just the way you are.”
“Oh, Luke.” Tears welled in her eyes.
He smiled and kissed her fingertips. “You’re amazing and talented and smart. You’re pretty and sexy and you make me laugh. This isn’t about the baby, Audrey. I swear, I really do love you.”
Audrey’s hope soared. Luke never lied. He would stretch the truth at times to keep his dashing knight status, but he never flat-out lied. “I love you, too.”