I began to work on it, and thought I had succeeded. Just an hour ago I still thought victory was within my reach. But what happened at the Countess’s has upset all my calculations in a trice – and if I had to name one thing that struck me above all, it was an unaccustomed seriousness in Alyosha, a steadfastness of his devotion to you, the strength and vitality of that devotion. I repeat, you have made a completely new man of him. It suddenly dawned on me that the change in him was even more far-reaching than I had first thought. Today he unexpectedly exhibited signs of an intelligence I would not have hitherto credited him with, and along with it he betrayed an extraordinary subtlety and delicacy of feeling. He hit upon the surest way of extricating himself from a situation that he found embarrassing. He stirred and aroused the noblest aspirations of the human heart – to forgive and repay evil with good. He put himself in the hands of the person he had injured, and appealed to her for sympathy and help. He stirred the pride of a woman who was already in love with him by openly admitting to her that she has a rival, and while eliciting her sympathy for that rival, he yet secured her forgiveness and the promise of disinterested sisterly love for himself. To enter upon such explanations and at the same time not to insult or cause offence, is something not even the subtlest and wisest of men would be able to manage. It takes an unspoilt, youthful, well-balanced temperament such as his to bring it off. I’m sure, Natalya Nikolayevna, you played no part either by word or deed in his decision today. Perhaps you have only just found out yourself about it from him. I’m not mistaken, or am I?”
“You are not mistaken,” Natasha replied, her face glowing and her eyes shining with a strange intensity. The Prince’s reasoning was beginning to take effect. “I’ve not seen Alyosha for five days,” she added. “It was entirely his idea, and he acted quite independently.”
“Quite so,” the Prince confirmed, “but nevertheless all this unexpected insight, all this determination, this awareness of duty, in effect all this noble steadfastness is the result of your influence upon him. I only came to appreciate this fully and was able to reflect on it just now on the way home, and having reflected on it, I suddenly felt empowered to come to a decision. Our engagement with the Countess’s family is broken off for good. It cannot be reinstated, and even if it could, it won’t. After all, I have personally concluded that you alone can make him happy, that you are his true mentor, that you have already laid the foundations of his future happiness! I’ve hidden nothing from you and am hiding nothing now. I value ambition, money, status, even rank. I’m all too aware that much of that is sheer convention, but I like such conventions and would never want to flout them. But there are circumstances when one has to take other things into consideration, when one cannot apply the same standards everywhere… Besides, I love my son too much. In short, I have come to the conclusion that Alyosha must not be parted from you, because without you he would perish. And, I might as well admit it, I came to this decision perhaps a good month ago and only now realize I’ve made the right decision. Of course I could have come to tell you all this tomorrow rather than disturb you in the middle of the night. But perhaps my present haste will show you how passionately and, more importantly, how sincerely I regard this matter. I’m no longer of an age when I can act on impulse. When I entered your room, all had already been considered and my mind made up. However, I think a lot more time will be needed before you are fully convinced of my sincerity… But, to come to the point! Shall I tell you why I’ve come to you now? I’ve come to do my duty by you and to ask you solemnly and with the deepest respect to grant my son the happiness of your hand in marriage. Oh, don’t imagine I’ve come here as a tyrannical father who has relented at last and decided to forgive his children, mercifully allowing them their happiness. No, not at all! If you were to attribute such thoughts to me, you’d do me an injustice. And do not suppose either that I was counting in advance on your agreement, relying on what you’d already sacrificed for my son. Once again, no! I would be the first to admit that he is not worthy of you, and – being good-hearted and truthful – he would confirm this himself. But that is not enough. It was not that alone which brought me here at such an hour… I came here…” and he respectfully and somewhat solemnly rose from his seat… “I came here to try to win your friendship! I know I’ve no right to it whatever, quite the contrary! But – please allow me to try. Don’t deny me the opportunity!”
Bowing respectfully to Natasha, he awaited her answer. All the time he was speaking I had been watching him intently. He had noticed this.
He delivered his speech dispassionately with some flourish of eloquence and at times even lapsing into a certain insouciance. The whole tone of his speech seemed occasionally at variance with the impulse that had brought him to us at such an inappropriate hour for a first visit, especially considering the state of our relationship. Some of his expressions were clearly premeditated, and at some points of his speech, which was remarkable for its length, he seemed to be posing deliberately as an eccentric struggling to hide an irrupting emotion behind a guise of humour, pleasantry and witticisms. But all this I divined later; at the time it was quite another matter. His concluding words were said with such animation, such feeling, such apparently sincere respect for Natasha, that he won us all over. There was even a hint of a tear to be glimpsed upon his eyelashes. Natasha’s gentle heart was entirely enraptured. Deeply moved, she too rose from her seat and silently offered her hand to him. He took it and kissed it tenderly and fervently. Alyosha was beside himself with delight.
“What did I tell you, Natasha?” he cried. “You didn’t believe me! You didn’t believe that he is the noblest man in the world. You see, now you see for yourself!…”
He rushed to his father and hugged him excitedly. The latter responded likewise but hastened to cut short the emotional scene as if he were ashamed of betraying his feelings.
“That’s enough,” he said, picking up his hat. “I’m off. I asked for only ten minutes of your time,” he added with a laugh, “and I’ve been sitting here a whole hour. But as I leave, I’m dying with impatience to meet you again as soon as possible. Would you allow me to visit you as often as possible?”
“Yes, yes,” Natasha answered, “as often as you wish. I’m anxious to… to be your close friend…” she added in embarrassment.
“How sincere, how sweet of you!” the Prince said, smiling. “Not even for trite politeness’s sake could you tell a white lie. But your sincerity is worth more than all those spurious civilities. Yes, I realize it will take me a long, long time to earn your trust.”
“I beg you, don’t flatter me… don’t,” Natasha whispered in confusion. How pretty she looked at that moment!
“Very well,” the Prince said. “A few practical words in parting though. Can you imagine the sheer bad luck? I cannot be with you tomorrow, or the day after. Tonight I received a letter requiring my immediate intervention in a business matter so pressing that I simply cannot postpone it. I’m leaving St Petersburg tomorrow morning. Please don’t imagine I called on you so late just because there would be no time tomorrow or the day after. Of course you won’t think any such thing, but there you have an instance of my mistrustful nature! Why should I have assumed that you would think just that? Yes, my mistrustfulness has hampered me greatly in life, and the whole rift between me and your family is perhaps merely a consequence of my unfortunate character!… Today’s Tuesday. Let me see, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday I shall not be in St Petersburg. I hope to be back definitely by Saturday and will call on you that very day. Please tell me, may I come to you for the whole evening?”
“Certainly!” Natasha exclaimed. “I’ll expect you on Saturday. I’ll look forward to it!”
“Ah, how happy I am! I shall get to know you all the better! Well… I’m off. But I can’t leave without shaking your hand,” he said, suddenly turning to me. “Forgive me! We’ve all been talking at cross purposes… I’ve had the pleasure of meeti
ng you several times, and once we were actually introduced. I cannot leave without letting you know how pleased I’d be to renew our acquaintanceship.”
“It’s true we met,” I replied, shaking his hand, “but I’m sorry, I don’t recall being introduced.”
“Last year at Prince R.’s.”
“I beg your pardon, I forgot. But I assure you I shall not forget this time. This evening has been a particularly memorable one for me.”
“Yes, you’re right, for me too. I know from way back that you’ve been a true and sincere friend of Natalya Nikolayevna and my son. I hope you will see me as the fourth member of your threesome. Will you?” he added, turning to Natasha.
“Yes, he has been a true friend to us and we must all stick together,” Natasha replied earnestly. Poor thing! She was positively bursting with joy that the Prince had not neglected to approach me. She did love me so much!
“I have met many admirers of your talent,” the Prince went on, “and I know two of your staunchest champions. They will be thrilled to make your acquaintance personally. I refer to my dearest friend the Countess and her stepdaughter Katerina Fyodorovna Filimonova. Promise me you will not deny me the pleasure of introducing you to those ladies.”
“I’m very flattered, I’m sure, although I see very few people these days…”
“But let me have your address. Where do you live? It would be my pleasure…”
“I do not entertain visitors, Prince, not at present, anyway…”
“But although I could not presume to be made an exception… still…”
“By all means, since you ask, I shall be delighted. I live in Klugen’s house, ***m Street.”
“In Klugen’s house?” he exclaimed, as if struck by something. “Goodness! Have you… lived there long?”
“No, not long,” I replied, unable to take my eyes off him. “I live at number forty-four.”
“Number forty-four? Do you… live alone?”
“Quite alone.”
“Ah yes! I only ask because… I think I know the house. So much the better… I shall definitely visit you, definitely! There is a lot I must discuss with you, and I’m sure you won’t disappoint me. You can oblige me in many ways. You see, I’ve started off straight away by asking a favour of you. But goodbye for now! Let me shake your hand once more!”
He shook hands with me and with Alyosha, kissed Natasha’s hand again, and went out without bidding Alyosha to follow him.
The three of us remained greatly embarrassed. It had all happened so unexpectedly, so fortuitously. We all felt that in a single instant everything had changed and something new and unknown had intervened. Without a word Alyosha sat down beside Natasha and kissed her hand gently. From time to time he would glance at her face as if wondering what she would say.
“Darling, Alyosha, make sure you go to see Katerina Fyodorovna tomorrow,” she said at last.
“Yes, that’s just what I was thinking of doing,” he replied. “I’ll definitely go.”
“But perhaps it’ll be painful for her to see you?… What’s to be done?”
“I don’t know, my dear. I thought about that too. I’ll see… I’ll play it by ear. Well, Natasha, everything’s changed for us, hasn’t it?” Alyosha could not restrain himself.
She smiled and cast him a long, tender look.
“And isn’t he tactful? He could see how poor your accommodation is, but not a word—”
“About what?”
“Well… about moving somewhere else… or something,” he said, his face flushing red.
“Don’t be silly, Alyosha. Why should he have?”
“Exactly, that’s what I meant, he’s so tactful. And how he praised you! I told you as much… didn’t I? Yes, he can understand and see through everything! But he talked about me as if I were a child. That’s how they look upon me all the time! Well, no doubt I am one.”
“You are a child, but you understand things better than any of us. You’re so sweet, Alyosha!”
“But he said my kind heart was my undoing. What did he mean? I don’t understand. But you know what, Natasha? Perhaps I should go after him as quickly as possible. I’ll be back with you tomorrow by first light.”
“Yes, go, my darling, do go! That’s a good idea. And make sure he sees you, do you hear me! But tomorrow come back here as soon as you can. You won’t leave me for five days at a stretch this time now, will you?” she added craftily, caressing him with a glance. We were all in a state of quiet but overflowing joy.
“Are you coming with me, Vanya?” Alyosha asked as he prepared to leave the room.
“No, he’ll stay here. There are things we need to talk over, Vanya. Mind, tomorrow at first light!”
“At first light! Bye, Mavra!”
Mavra was in quite a state. She heard everything the Prince had said, she had eavesdropped on everything, but a lot of it had gone over her head. She would have liked to enquire and hazard some guesses. But for the time being she was content to maintain an air of haughty seriousness. She too was aware that much had changed.
We were left alone. Natasha took my hand and for a while said nothing, as if wondering what to say.
“I’m tired,” she said at last in a weak voice. “Listen, you are going to my parents’ tomorrow, aren’t you?”
“Certainly.”
“Tell Mama, but don’t say anything to him.”
“Well, I never do say anything to him about you anyway.”
“Quite, quite, he’ll find out just the same. Be sure though you pay attention to what he says. See how he takes it. Oh my God, Vanya! What do you suppose, is he really going to curse me for this marriage! No, he couldn’t do that!”
“The Prince will have to sort it all out,” I added quickly. “He’ll just have to make his peace with him and then everything will be all right.”
“Oh my God! If only! If only!” she cried entreatingly.
“Don’t worry Natasha. It’ll all come out all right. Everything points that way.”
She threw me a penetrating glance.
“Vanya! What do you think of the Prince?”
“If he was speaking sincerely, then I’d say he’s a thoroughly honourable man.”
“If he was speaking sincerely? What does that mean? Surely he couldn’t have been speaking insincerely, could he?”
“I should think not,” I replied. Something was bothering her, I thought to myself. Odd!
“You kept looking at him… so intently.”
“Yes, I thought there was something a little strange about him.”
“Yes, me too. He kept talking in such a… I’m tired, my dear. You know, you’d better go home too. And come and see me tomorrow as soon as possible after you’ve been to see my parents. But listen, you don’t think it was improper of me, was it, to say I wanted to be a close friend of his?”
Humiliated and Insulted Page 14
