by Indiana Wake
She had thought about the conversation in the street over and over again in the last days, sometimes relieved that she had done it, other times wishing that she had managed it all a little better. Either way, the whole thing had not been far from her thoughts and it was true to say that it was beginning to tire her.
“I hope you don’t mind me bursting in on you at work like this.” Mary began and smiled in a way which provided Katie with instant relief.
Her heart was beating rather fast and she knew that she had first assumed that Mary had come in to tear a strip of her for approaching Arlen at all with her girlish nonsense.
“No, not at all.” Katie looked around the empty store. “We’re not exactly busy.” She smiled shyly.
“Well, I reckon I’ve been thinking about you a fair bit these last few days. Anyway, I just wanted to come in here and thank you for your kindness to Arlen.”
“I guess I didn’t want him to think that I was just staring for the sake of staring. Things must be hard enough for him as it is without putting up with all that and I sure didn’t want to be a part of the crowd, really.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t think that at all and I know that Arlen doesn’t.”
“He seemed kind of, well, angry with me I suppose. Not angry, disappointed.” Katie looked down at her dark green dress for a moment, her eyes focusing on the brilliant white petticoats at the ankle while she fought with her own embarrassment once again.
Embarking on this little mission of hers, Katie had come to realize just how young and inexperienced she must seem to all those around her. It didn’t matter really how much she had read, how much she thought she understood, when it came to dealing with people who had a few years on her, she felt as foolish and as ignorant as a child.
“He’d had a difficult walk and he was in some pain,” Mary said gently. “And I know he was a little argumentative with you and a little quiet with you at the end, but I also know that it’s not truly in his nature to be so snappy.”
Mary was a nice-looking woman, tall and dark with a pleasant, ready smile. There was something in her gentle manner that felt very honest and was beginning, finally, to put Katie at her ease a little.
“I guess I should have realized.” Katie mumbled.
“Now, how were you to know that he was hurting? I’ve known him since he was a little boy and sometimes I’d struggle to know that much myself.” Mary laughed, and it was a lovely light and pleasant sound.
“Does his leg give him a lot of pain?” Katie asked, overcoming her shyness.
“More than he admits to, and that’s the truth. But I’m hoping that things are going to get better for him now that he’s home again and under the care of Doc Brown.”
“Doc Brown sure is a good doctor, Mrs. Bryant.”
“He sure is. And please, call me Mary.”
“I will do, Mary. And I’m Katie,” she said shyly, feeling as if she had been graciously admitted to the ranks of real womanhood.
“I think it’s more than the pain which gets Arlen down though, Katie.” Mary shuffled forward a little, just enough to lean on the counter in a conversational manner which reminded Katie a little of a young version of Connie Langdon.
That comparison was enough to make Katie feel even better, and she mirrored Mary’s actions by leaning on the other side of the counter.
“How so?”
“It’s more about the things he can’t do any more. You know, he always helped his brother on the ranch. He’d worked the ranch his whole life, to be honest. But now he doesn’t have the strength in his right leg to be up on horseback. He lived for being out on the plains on his horse, riding out with his brother and enjoying the day-to-day banter with the ranch hands.”
“I can see how that would affect a man.”
“It really does. I wouldn’t say this to anybody else, but I think that Arlen now truly sees himself as useless. He was always such a happy soul, such a naughty and funny child when I first got together with his brother, David. He was only six then, and a real cheeky little boy.” Mary smiled and closed her eyes for a moment as if truly picturing the little boy her brother-in-law had once been. “I’ve known him so long, he’s more like a brother to me than anything.”
“It is a terrible thing for a person to think themselves useless, Mary. But at least he has you by his side, and his brother.”
“My poor David, he hardly knows what to say to him. I know he cares deeply, he just can’t put it into words. You know how men can be.”
“Yes, I reckon they don’t find it as easy to speak out sometimes. Not like we can.”
“Well, you sure know how to speak out, Katie.” Mary laughed pleasantly. “You should be real proud of yourself for what you did. I really am so grateful to you for having the courage when so many others surely would not.”
“My apology was necessary, Mary.”
“What you said went beyond apology and you said it in the face of a kind of reticent audience.” She laughed again. “But you persevered, and I guess that’s what I want to thank you for.”
“Well, it sure is nice to hear it, I won’t lie.” Katie finally relaxed enough to laugh too. “I only hope that Arlen can one day know that it was genuine.”
“I’m sure he knows it now, he’s just in a lot of pain, and not just physical. He’s got a lot to come to terms with and I reckon it might be a long road back to his old self.”
“I know I don’t know your family, Mary, but I can’t help but wish there was something I could do to help him in that journey,” Katie said and felt her throat tightening a little with emotion.
There really was something about Arlen that had captured her imagination and wouldn’t let it go. It wasn’t his handsome face or even his limp. It wasn’t attraction or pity. There was just something about him that cried out to be heard, something that Katie wanted to listen to.
“Maybe there is something you can do,” Mary said and looked suddenly quite serious.
“What?” Katie nodded with interest.
“He’s become kind of an awkward character and I guess his old friends from before he went to war aren’t coming around just yet. I hate to see him without a friend and I wondered if you might care to give it a go?”
“Of course, I would,” Katie said with enthusiasm, “if he will accept me as a friend.”
“Maybe you’d like to come to dinner after church on Sunday? I don’t think Arlen will be going to church himself this time, or maybe even for a while yet, but he’ll certainly be around for dinner when we get back. You could travel back with David and me in the wagon right after the service if you wanted.” Suddenly, Mary seemed a little awkward herself and Katie could certainly sympathize.
“Well, I sure would like that, Mary. Thank you kindly.” Katie was smiling brightly, keen to help and desperately hiding the fact that she was already nervous about it all.
After all, she hadn’t got the best reception from Arlen the last time she spoke to him. Still, if she wanted to help him, she might just have to get used to that.
“Well then, that is settled, Katie. And thank you so much,” Mary said, and her eyes shone with unshed tears.
Katie realized then just how much Mary cared for her brother-in-law and it touched her greatly that she would go out of her way to find him a friend in this world.
And maybe Katie would finally have that very same thing herself.
“You did what?” Arlen exclaimed with a groan, heartily wishing he had mistaken his sister-in-law’s words.
“I asked her to come to dinner after church on Sunday. It’s what neighbors do,” she said, defending herself with a shrug.
“Neighbors? They live clear across the town from us. We are not neighbors,” Arlen said as he eased himself down into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, “we don’t even know the family.”
“Well, that’s not entirely true,” Mary said, still defensive, “I have spent a fair bit of time in the company of Grace Lacey. She is a friend o
f Connie Langdon.”
“Everybody’s a friend of Connie.”
“Well, Connie has a real soft spot for Grace. She always has.” She cleared her throat and reached for her apron, popping it over her head and distractedly tying the strings at the back. “And with good reason, Grace Lacey is a nice woman. A real nice woman.”
“But Grace isn’t the one coming to dinner, is she?” Arlen said and knew that he was being unnecessarily irritable.
But the idea of an excruciating meal sitting across the table from the beautiful young woman who was tripping over herself to dish out pity was nothing short of impossible.
It was true that he had been impressed by her interest in the war and the reasons for it, even more impressed by such determined and serious reading in such a young woman. But even so, he wasn’t going to let that sweep away his annoyance.
It was true that he didn’t quite know the source of his annoyance, whether it was a leftover from her staring at him in church or the idea that her apology was nothing more than pity. Either way, his irritation was real, and he really didn’t want to spend any more time in Katie Lacey’s company.
“No, but I reckon Katie Lacey is just as nice.”
“Because she took a deep breath and came to apologize to the wounded soldier?”
“Now those are harsh words, Arlen. That is so unfair that I can hardly begin to list the reasons why.” Mary was annoyed, uncharacteristically annoyed, and Arlen knew he’d pushed her just a little too far.
“All right, all right,” he said and held his hands up in front of him. “Look, I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with at the moment, but I don’t reckon there’s a lot I can do about that just now. I don’t mean to be at loggerheads with you, Mary, of all people. But I’m not ready for all this. I need more time to get myself straight, to feel at home again. I’m just not in the mood to be entertaining at the dinner table.”
“Nobody is expecting you to be entertaining,” Mary said sharply. “Just polite would do.”
Mary opened the door to the pantry and reached in to lift out a half-used sack of flour. She heaved it up onto the kitchen table with ease and set off across the kitchen to gather up everything else she would need to make bread.
As she worked in silence, Arlen knew that he had thrown her kindness in her face. So much so that she had decided to give up on the conversation altogether and nurse her anger inside herself instead of letting it fly out at him.
“Mary, don’t go quiet on me,” he said and gave her a disarming grin. “You know I don’t mean to be like this.”
“I know you don’t mean to be, honey, but it doesn’t always make it any easier. But you’re right, I shouldn’t have poked my nose in where it wasn’t wanted.”
“Now wait a minute, just when exactly did I say that?” he asked and laughed, looking up at her from his seat and trying to catch her eye.
“You might not have said it, but that’s exactly what you meant.”
“Mary, I am sorry. Right now, you’re the only person in my corner and I shouldn’t take my misery out on you.”
“But don’t you see? I’m not the only person in your corner. Your brother is in your corner, he just doesn’t know how to put it. And what about Katie Lacey? I reckon it sure did take a lot for her to come up to you in the street and apologize the way she did. She didn’t try to excuse herself for staring over at you in church, she made a proper apology. That has to mean something, doesn’t it?”
“Well, she’s either real brave or real determined, one or the other,” he said, thinking it more likely that she was determined to dish out pity or charity to make herself feel better.
“It was clear to me that it took guts,” Mary said as she dropped her favorite bread mixing bowl onto the table with a bang.
“All right, I’ll behave. I’ll be polite at the dinner table if you just start talking to me again,” he said with a low and deep chuckle.
“You better mean that, Arlen, or I sure will make you pay for it,” she said, eyeing the rolling pin on the table and raising her eyebrows significantly.
“I should never have forgotten how impossible it is to argue with you,” he said, relieved that they were back on their old friendly footing.
But at the back of his mind, he knew he would be concerning himself with the prospect of Katie’s appearance at the dinner table for every day until it was over.
Chapter 7
Katie had never felt more nervous than she did on the ride from church to the Bryant ranch that Sunday. She was sure she hadn’t taken in a word of the Reverend’s sermon as she’d tried to think of points of conversation she might raise at the Bryant family dinner table.
Not only was she afraid of how she would get along with the serious and sullen Arlen, but she had never sat down to dinner with people she didn’t know before and wondered if she would do or say something that would show her up as a fool.
“Are you all right, honey?” Mary asked and peered at her with concern.
“A little nervous, I guess.” Katie shrugged and began to wish the whole thing was over and she was back in her own room at home either nursing her metaphorical wounds or excitedly reliving every moment.
She had a dreadful feeling it would be the former.
“You’ll do just fine. And just remember, Arlen is just at a real low point right now. If he’s quiet or aloof, it’s just his pain talking. Don’t go taking any of it to heart.” Mary looked encouraging, but there was an edge of nervousness to her claim which unsettled Katie. “You’ll get to know him as he truly is one day, and it will make it all worth it.”
Katie forced herself to smile but found she was far from comforted by Mary’s words. If anything, she felt more nervous than she did before.
As they rumbled along, Katie and Mary in the back of the wagon sitting side by side and David up front driving, she looked down at her dress and hoped it would do.
Her blue checked Sunday dress was being mended by her ma after Katie had caught its hem on a nail in the low fencing around the Lacey house. She’d hoped it would be done in time, although she hadn’t said as much to her ma.
She would have mended it herself had it been a simple matter of an opened seam, but it was a genuine tear and, although slight, was far beyond the meager sewing capabilities of Katie Lacey.
And so, Katie had picked out her second favorite dress, a pale green one with little flowers all over it. She liked the pattern well enough, but it just didn’t feel like her Sunday dress did. Still, Arlen probably couldn’t care less what she was wearing.
Katie had never been to the Bryant ranch before and was surprised by how large it was. Their land seemed to stretch on as far as the eye could see and the ranch house was large. It was so much larger than her own home that she thought it must have four or even five bedrooms in it.
The wood was painted an immaculate white and she could see that every window had pretty drapes at it. There was a large garden, and a low white fence which seemed to encase the house and general living area, separating it from the work of the ranch.
She noted that the garden was neat but didn’t particularly contain any flora or fauna of interest. Distracted for a moment, Katie thought she would give her right arm to have that much space for her own gardening and calmed her nerves a little as she thought of all the different varieties of evergreens and blooms she would have planted there given the chance.
“Thank you,” Katie said as David reached up a hand to help her down from the back of the wagon.
“You’re welcome. And welcome to our home,” David said pleasantly.
She could immediately see the resemblance between the two brothers, despite the ten years or so between them. David’s hair was as fair as Arlen’s, although his eyes were not quite so bright a shade of blue. And standing upright, he was a little smaller than his younger brother, not to mention a little narrower.
When Arlen simply stood without moving, not a soul would have realized that he had e
ver been injured at all. It wasn’t until he started to walk that he stooped and struggled.
“It sure is a lovely home, Mr. Bryant.”
“David, please.”
“David,” Katie said and nodded.
She realized then that David was as keen as Mary to do something, anything, to help Arlen. She felt a little sad then that the two of them had pinned their hopes to a young woman they didn’t even know, who didn’t even know Arlen. It seemed sad somehow and, as she took Mary’s hand to be led into the house, Katie felt emotional.
She realized that it was exacerbated by the fact she already felt so nervous but, for an awful moment, she thought she might be greeted by Arlen with tears rolling down her face.
“You’ll be pleased to know that I got everything ready before church, so it won’t be long before we eat. I had Arlen keep an eye on things, so hopefully the meat isn’t as tough as an old shoe and as small as an apple.” Mary laughed as she reached for an apron to put over her beautiful pale blue Sunday best dress.
“Can I do anything to help?” Katie enquired, hoping for a task that would at least give her something to do and make her feel a little less awkward.
“No, not at all. You sit yourself down at the table, honey,” Mary said, and Katie felt thwarted somehow.
She settled herself down at the enormous round wooden table and concentrated hard upon the beautiful painted vase full of pretty Gerber Daisies.
“These Gerberas are beautiful,” Katie said enthusiastically, “did you grow them?”
“No, I had them from one of the farmers on this side of town. His wife grows them, and she has a real pretty little garden of all sorts of lovely flowers.”
“I never thought to plant Gerberas before, but I might make room for some next year.” Katie’s mouth was dry, and she knew that she was already struggling for conversation.
“You like planting?”
“Oh yes, I’ve been interested in it for years. Nobody else in my family is particularly keen, so I get the garden to myself to have just as I want.”
